Chapter Text
Day 50.
Dear Diary,
(Un)happy 50 days of being stuck in this hell. Coughing, throwing up, headaches, going in and out of consciousness every few hours. I'm absolutely, utterly, totally exhausted by every day , hour, minute, SECOND that flies right pass me, along with another bit of my will to live on and wait for my loser soulmate to arrive at my rescue to save me from this infinite HELL. Goddamn, can this soulmate just appear already??
Jimin then closes the book after finishing off the last word of his 50th dairy entry since coming into the hospital. It's basic torture for him, he can never get out of bed for almost the whole day (either than doing all the toilet duties). He has to lay there, staring at the grey ceiling, then he turns onto his side — the same drip, the same shade of grey as the ceiling painted onto the wall, all the medical shit he has on the side to keep him alive, he doesn't understand why people still tried for him. His family has hated him for god knows how long already, his friends all forgot about him since he stopped turning up to school. No one knows who and where his soulmate may be, or if they even existed at all. He didn't care if it was a total stranger, he just wanted to be Park Jimin again — cheerful, care-free, forever dancing, chasing after all the handsome boys with nice hair and big hands type of Park Jimin. Not sick, throwing up, in a never ending spiral downwards with his health, both mental and physical, lazy, bored type of Park Jimin. The bags under his eyes were growing as dark as his hazy mind. He wasn't gonna get out of this trance any soon. Refer him to as many psychologists as you would like but it would never work, the haze in his mind will never clear, everything in there is dark and gloomy like the sky outside on his never ending rainy day.
He was now a scrawny, skinny boy. His bones seemed so fragile that if he fell it would kill him. He was slowly fading, not literally, just mentally. He was just waiting for the day his body gives in and gives up on him. For when his body and the rest of his world caves in and fades away like him. Jimin just wanted to smile again, not the fake bullshit one he gave the nurses and doctors when they ask "How are you, Jimin?" and Jimin would reply with a "Doing well." And give them a smile. He wanted to smile, for real and because of someone he loves. Those memories were the greatest and the most vivid in his mind.
He picks his phone up, going straight to his gallery app. The photos of him and his friends, memories flooding into his mind. He was so happy.
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"Jimin!" One of his hyungs yelled at him through a laugh. Jin hyung to be exact, he was Jimin's care taker after his parents had gone haywire and left him alone as a 13 year old kid with no path in life just yet.
"What? It was your idea to come to this stupid abandoned classroom in the first place!" Jimin hit the other's shoulder playfully, laughing loudly. He was 14 at the time, him and Jin were the best of friends. Where was Jin hyung now? Jimin had no clue, they spent high school, college and after a few months in college. Jimin basically disappeared, everyone forgot about him eventually.
Even Jin hyung..
-
He continues analyzing the photo on his phone, his arm around his hyung in a big tight hug. It was high school graduation day. They were happy. Jimin still wonders where Jin hyung is, or what he was doing, does he still remember me? Will he recognize me even though i'm all scrawny and skinny? All he could do was stare and wonder.
"Jin hyung… Please remember…" He whispers to himself, tears falling from his cheeks and wetting the white bedsheets he was laying on. One after the other, his heart was in pain from all the things it had been through.
"P-please… Remember me… Y-your Jiminie…" He whispered between sobs, his voice cracking as he let out another pained cry for the answers to his question.
He can remember his last conversation with his hyung, as clear as day.
-
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Jimin was yelling, screaming, all the things crashing to the ground along with his world.
"Jiminie… Calm down…" He tried approaching the boy but couldn't due to the rage that looked into the older's eyes. Pure. Rage.
"Don't you dare touch me." Jimin hissed at the other with only anger in his voice before he stormed out of his hyung's dorm. And that was the last thing he said to him. Such angry words, not knowing he wouldn't even get to say goodbye or even a thank you for all the years together. It was only that.
-
He scrolls a bit more, and a photo catches his eye. A picture of him and his ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Two big, cheesy, goofy smiles plastered on their faces. So fucking happy. Where was Jungkook now? Does he still remember them even after their breakup? Even after he cheated on Jimin? They dated for 5 years. Five. He still thinks about what he would've done wrong for him to cheat on him with a girl from college. Jungkook started dating her right after their breakup, he doesn't know if they're still together or not after a year. All he could do was wonder about it. If he was gonna be honest, He missed Jungkook. After all, he was his first real relationship.
Jimin continued scrolling again, one after another, all the photos of Jungkook and him came up. One of them holding hands, another of them kissing, and another of them cuddling in his dorm.
All he wanted was to live a happily ever after with his soulmate. But it was harder than just that.