Chapter Text
Each day the nagging pain in her head grows, ever so slightly. Each day, maybe once, maybe twice, it unexpectedly rises to a crescendo of unimaginable agony. Her vision blurs, she can barely keep herself standing. Lately, she’d begun coughing up blood.
Impossibly, he was worried for her. He cared about her; somewhere deep in his gut there was a pulling sensation when she stumbled in these moments, when she nearly collapsed because of the pain that he had brought to her. He couldn’t understand how, as the pain she suffered worsened, her resentment towards him shrank. He could feel it when she looked at him. No longer was there a deep sense of hurt and anger in her chest. Lately, he could have sworn there was the tiniest swell of joy inside her whenever he appeared, even if he only showed up to make fun of her or criticize her decisions. Maybe he ought to be easier on her.
He'd started referring to the two of them as ‘us’ and ‘we.’ It wasn’t just V who needed to go see what was up with Panam or Judy, it was both of them. “We should go check it out.” The first time he’d said something like that he hadn’t even noticed, but she did. She had paused for a fraction of a second as she shoved her holo back into her pocket. We should go check it out? That was new. A smile tugged at her lips.
V had yet to admit to herself just how warm his presence made her feel. She knew that she didn’t hate him nearly as much as she once did, but she hadn’t quite caught on to the fact that she actually liked him. Maybe something more, too.
The first time she’d realized just how much her feelings towards him had changed was in the tub of ice at the Voodoo Boys’ place. She’d called for him as she felt herself slipping out of her body. And not just in her head. Embarrassingly, she’d said his name aloud, desperation and fear dripping from her voice. She was grateful that he had never brought that specific moment up, but she knew that he’d noticed.
And then when he saved her life. When he had every reason in the world to let her die. She had assumed that deep down, though he would never admit it to her, he was counting down the days until he would overpower her brain and could finally get back to living on his own terms. But he had saved her. He’d dragged her across the city to a place she could safely recover. And then he’d told her that he would die for her. Not in so many words, but that’s what him being wiped was, wasn’t it? The final step in his drawn-out death. He was going to die for her, he said. Weeks ago, she would have been relieved to hear such a thing. Not now, though.
Something sharp near your heart.
Fuck.