Archive of Our Own

There was something inherently beautiful to space when observed from behind the safety of the large windows. V was sure their structural integrity had to be reinforced to allow the luxury of peering into the outside from the safety of an orbital station, but well…

'This is Arasaka. Exactly the kind of expensive shit the corp would absolutely love splurging on just because they can.'

And yet… she couldn’t complain. Staring out the window had become her favorite pastime these past weeks. There wasn't much else to distract herself with, anyway. Leisure datashards and books were a commodity that wasn’t afforded to her because, to quote Dr. Bitch, “straining the neural synapses could prove harmful to the healing process.”

Which reeked of bullshit to V, but hey, it wasn’t like she was an expert neurosurgeon or a specialist in some other scientific fields she couldn’t even hope to pronounce, much less remember. However, the staleness of her room and what had become of her life became too much and she broke down after the first week was nearly over. She'd begged Dr. Bitch for at least a couple books. It rankled, but what was pride to her by that point?

The woman had eventually relented, though even that victory felt hollow when she only had access to them for an hour each day. At least, she had also added music on top of that. A small, unmentioned kindness, which had made V reconsider her choice of name for the doctor - right about until she continued running her damn tests and prodding at her.

Yeah, Dr. Bitch was keeping her name.

But despite the fact she could now read an hour each day and listen to music for several more, these things did little to distract her. She felt hollow inside, gouged out of everything that seemed important. What she felt was… it was a gaping hole and it didn’t matter how much reading or listening to music she did, it was still as raw as the first day she woke up in the station.

But space… That was something different. Whenever she wasn’t smashing her head against the frustrating wall that were her tests, she had free reign on the little corner of the orbital station she called now home. She could come and go as she wished and no one stopped her. Why would they? She wasn’t stupid, she had no clearance to acces the areas beyond the blast doors and the only guard - Hajime - spoke rarely, but always watched her.

And that’s how she’d come to spend most of her free time: staring at space. The vastness outside reminded her of herself - empty, void and hollow. The only difference were the little pinpricks of light that she could see, the stars that shone brightly amidst a black canvas. But then again, did that matter? Space was empty. It was cold; vast but filled with absolute nothingness. A dead expanse of unfeeling stillness. That’s how she felt. More than once she’d made a dry remark, a witty thought that had been little more than an opening for Johnny to strike up a convo, just to realize that only silence greeted her. It left her feeling more flat-footed than she wanted to admit.

Johnny had been dead for weeks now. Truly dead. The thought never failed to leave her almost heaving, a constricting knot of jumbled and tangled feelings warring for dominance. They hadn’t always seen eye to eye on everything, but the last conversation she’d had with him… The sheer disappointment in his voice, in his pulsing construct-red eyes, stood out in V’s mind like a damning flare in the darkness.

Sometimes, she raged in the bathroom. What right did he have to judge her when he’d never stopped trying to push his own beliefs and ideals on her? When he’d always harped about sticking it to the corpos, stuck in a vendetta put fifty years on hold? The only thing she’d cared about was to live!

Some days, when it all got too much and the brief bouts of rage left her utterly spent and exhausted, she retreated to the shower stall, sitting in a corner and curling up on herself. In those moments, the guilt crept up to her like a silent snake before she even realized it. He'd asked for a second chance at his unmarked grave and she'd given it to him. But instead of raging, the only thing he gave her was his disappointment at the end. It cut far deeper than if he'd just outright went off on her.

At her worst, she called out to him in an attempt to claw out a response from the air around her. In those times, she was all too aware of the wetness of her eyes, but she couldn’t tell who she was crying for, either for Johnny or for herself. Perhaps it was for both. It was a nice thought, she'd decided at one point or another. She could cry for the both of them.

She was sure they were monitoring her, using cameras she couldn't see. She had no doubt they could see her at her weakest, but she couldn't muster enough will to care. Let them watch all they wanted, she thought. What was even the point? She was sure they wouldn't step in unless she tried to end her own life somehow.

She never tried to. Dr. Bitch never mentioned her bouts of unchecked emotion. And they never came when she hid away in the bathroom, curling up on herself.

So she watched from the window, staring at space for hours on end and letting time pass, both her mind and her body utterly deadened. Hajime never spoke, not unless she addressed him and it was always curt and professional, but she wanted to think a small rapport had built between them in those long hours. Like two kindred spirits, staring out into space and lost in the maze of their own thoughts.

A small, minuscule part of her knew she was only fooling herself, but left with nothing but the consequences of her own decisions, the taste of this self-delusion was sweet. ‘I’m alive. That’s what’s important. Focus on that and then get better,’ she told herself every day.

‘You're alive, but at what cost, huh? Was it worth it?’ a traitorous part of her mind always answered back with a sly voice. It sounded vaguely like Johnny.

V ignored the voice in her head as best as she could. Hanako had kept her word and they’d pulled the engram out of her head. Now it was just a matter of doing some rehab time and going back to… ‘To what?’ Her mind blanked on that thought whenever it meandered into it. She didn’t like thinking about it too much, it gave her cold chills.

The empty apathy inside her wasn’t helped by the monotony of the tests she performed. Every single day, it was the same. Cognitive function test, flash-thinking and reflexes test, Rubik puzzle test, treadmill test...

Every.

“Solve the cube.”

Single.

“Respond to the keywords - no thinking, just the first thing that comes to mind.”

Fucking.

“Step onto the treadmill. Connect your personal link.”

Day.

And yet, as frustrated as she grew with them, V didn’t raise more than exasperated questioning about the tests. The anger that sometimes bubbled up at Johnny never came when she wanted or when she tried to call for it. There was only a frozen wasteland within her. Sometimes, it truly felt as if she could never truly feel again, even though V knew such a thought was stupid. But the days passed and nothing changed.

Until it did.

It had been a particularly bad day. She’d felt more unfocused than usual and she’d botched the treadmill test almost as soon as she started it. The tightness in her chest had come swiftly, catching her off-guard. She’d stumbled and she’d gone down to the ground moments later, slamming painfully onto the floor and gasping for breath.

"Testing is concluded for today,” Dr. Bitch had told her, but looking up at her with a pained look, V could’ve almost sworn there was a brief look of pity on her face before it was gone.

But of course, that was only her own delusional mind playing tricks on her, just like before. Hadn’t she heard Johnny calling out to her that one time, telling her to wake up? Hadn’t she had a nightmare about Jackie, so vivid it almost felt like she’d truly lived through it?

“Communications are unlocked. You may now phone home. Earth.” The permission was unexpected, but not unwelcome. She’d tried to call her friends before, but the connection had always been blocked. She’d gotten sick of listening to the same cool, dispassionate female voice telling her that the service was unavailable every single time she tried to call. But as soon as she was able to, V wasted no time in making use of this rare chance to hear the voice of her friends. The results… well, they weren’t as great as she’d hoped.

Vik had been good. It was simply reuniting with a good friend, even if it couldn’t be face to face. That hadn’t mattered to Vik - he’d quickly reminded her to come see him the moment she got back on Earth for a check-up and the obvious concern and care in his voice put a smile so huge on her face that it hurt after a while. Talking with Vik had been simple, easy. It didn’t take much to fall into the usual dynamic of their friendship.

The others hadn’t been so understanding. Some, like River, had been busy with their lives and had told her to call them later. Even if it hurt, she understood and let the calls end early, despite how much it felt like she was being brushed off. She wanted to explain what was happening to her, but when she tried to put her feelings, or lack thereof, into words, she found her tongue and lips stilling, unsure of how to put into sound the emptiness that engulfed her from within.

She’d gritted her teeth, attempting to soldier on. Kerry had tried to be understanding when she’d managed to voice to him a bit of what she was feeling through a strangled voice, but how could she heap so much of her shit on him when he’d just gotten through his own? She couldn’t do that to him. She’d ended the call in a hurry, feeling like a sad sack of scop for hanging on him when he was trying to cheer her up, inviting her on a tour with Us Cracks.

And the others… it hadn’t gone as well with them. By the end of it, she’d felt so down on herself that she’d even decided to call Hanako. V didn’t know why she did it, it wasn’t like they were chooms or anything. But some part of her hoped that at least Hanako appreciated the lengths she’d gone to help her retake control of Arasaka.

She wasn’t sure what she was looking for in a conversation with the daughter of Saburo Arasaka. Reassurance of her choices? Someone willing to listen to her grip and complain for a bit? The luxury of a meaningless talk filled with empty chitchat devoid of any substance? From what she’d seen of the woman, V very much doubted the heiress to the Arasaka empire would ever do such things, but a part of her still made her try despite her reservations.

She never found out if she was right about her assumptions. Hanako didn’t take the call.

“Stupid, of course she didn’t. She’s the daughter of Saburo fucking Arasaka and I’m just lowly merc scum. Prolly too busy handling Arasaka realpolitik or some shit,” V muttered to herself as the call’s ringtone stretched for an uncomfortably long amount of time.

There was no doubt in her mind they knew she’d been an Arasaka counterintelligence operative not even a year ago - Arasaka kept files on all employees, even terminated ones. That little detail probably changed nothing in the grand scheme of things; as far as they were concerned, she was nothing more than some former mid-level operative that had been cast out months ago. She’d been rising through the ranks at a fast pace, sure, but she was nowhere near being a big shot when she ended up involved in Jenkins and Abernathy’s little power struggle.

What mattered was that the woman didn’t answer the call and she was left up here in space, surrounded by people that only saw her as a patient, a number - a job, nothing more. She was left up here with little more than regrets and an empty void inside her that couldn’t be filled. It felt like being cast out into the open sea in the middle of a storm without any kind of support. Only her and the roaring waves threatening to pull her under at any moment, knowing that no one was coming to help her.

There would be no wizard to snap his fingers and make it all better. There was no biochip to offer a proverbial lifeline this time. This was the end of the line.

The tests continued. V's sanity grew increasingly thin as they went on and on with no significant improvement. She didn't know what was wrong with her. Johnny's engram was gone, wasn't it? It sure didn’t feel like it. Why did she hear him? His voice was almost ethereal, a fading after echo that made him sound like he was speaking to her from beyond a thick window.

And V knew there was no way to break its glass. V had to remind herself that the glass, the window itself… they didn't exist at all, that Johnny Silverhand was finally gone. Sometimes, she could even begin to believe it herself. Or maybe it was a matter of fooling herself. When you got down to it, there wasn't much of a difference.

The tests continued, dragging on and blurring together into one giant presence in her mind that had neither beginning nor end. The few moments that broke the monotony of her current life were the few hours where she could read a bit and listen to some music. The tests continued. And then, finally, one day she solved the cube.

"Holy shit… I did it," V breathed out, looking down at the stupid cube in her hands with a dumbfounded expression.

Dr. Bitch fell silent for a moment, staring at the cube, and V got the gut feeling she'd never expected her to solve it. 'Serves her right,' she thought, giving her a slick grin. But to her credit, Dr. Bitch simply acknowledged the achievement with a nod and gently took the cube with a single word. "Good."

Instead of continuing the tests right away as V had expected, the woman kept her stare on her to the point where V grew uncomfortable. There was something vaguely unsettling about looking at a visual visor with a datastream flowing over its surface instead of her actual eyes, regardless of whether they were implants or not. "What? Something on my face?"

The question seemed to jolt the doctor back into focus, but she simply shook her head. "It is nothing. Let us continue." It was certainly a more significant interaction than the ones they’d had up to that point.

V didn’t allow Dr. Bitch’s strangeness to deter her. The effervescence of her victory, small as it was, bubbled up under her skin and for several days, she continued to see some improvement on the other tests, particularly the treadmill one. Sure, it was minimal, but to her, it was like taking giant leaps forward. She would be gone from this horrible station at last, she only had to hold on a little longer!

The optimism helped her weather the monotony of her stay in the orbital station a little bit better. Even Johnny's voice became a wisp of faded whispers, growing increasingly rarer. After weeks of growing more and more desperate for any sign of improvement, she could finally see the light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel.

She had hope again.

And that is when the universe played its last trick on her, sprung the last surprise.

xxxOOOxxx

"You look worse than when I dragged you out of the rubbish. Wake up, V."

The voice called out to her, piercing the dark fog of sleep. The blurred limbo between awareness and unconsciousness grew thinner, fading away until V opened her eyes with a groan and took a good look at her visitor. "Goro? That- that you?" she mumbled out, still feeling like she had a foot in Morpheus' domain.

"Yes, it is me. You look like shit," he told her without preamble. Her head shot up, looking at Takemura like he'd grown a second head and when he simply raised an eyebrow, V couldn't help herself. She laughed and laughed and kept laughing until her sides hurt and her eyes watered a bit. Looking vaguely miffed, Goro Takemura crossed his arms. "I do not see what is so amusing. I only stated the truth."

V quieted down with audible hiccups, unable to stifle the few chuckles that still escaped her mouth. "No, it's okay! It's just - blunt as always, Goro. Fuck, I missed that," she admitted, feeling a strange sensation bloom in her chest. It was a giddiness that couldn't be quenched. His was the first friendly face she'd seen since passing out on that elevator and she couldn't be happier for it.

"I can see why," Goro replied, giving her a critical once-over. "You are thin. Far too thin."

"Yeah, well, food for a patient in a hospital isn't exactly top-notch stuff, orbital station or not," V shrugged with a wan smile, trying to ignore the biting truth of his statement. Her arms and legs had lost a good deal of the muscle she’d built up over months of constant activity. She knew she was getting thinner each day, she just didn’t want to be reminded of it. "How have you been, Goro?"

"As you say, I am doing good. I cannot say the same of you, however,” Takemura said as he glanced at her room. “They have kept you here in this cell? For days? It is barbaric.” His look of disgust was enough to put a smile on her face.

“Weeks actually, but the point stands. I think.” Her attempt at a joke fell flat even to her, and Takemura’s silver-grey eyes darkened in anger. She hurried to move along the conversation to avoid seeing it longer than necessary. “Sooo…. you here to take me home? Actually, what are you doing now, still protecting Saburo’s ass?”

The minuscule stiffening of his shoulders disappeared as soon as it appeared as he moved around the chair. “I have been transferred to Japan. I will fly from here to Takamatsu,” he revealed to her without meeting her eyes, picking up her puzzle cube and inspecting it with a curious look.

“Takamatsu? Why?”

Takemura only shrugged. “New time, new duties. But we speak too much of me. I’m here because they told me to speak with you.”

V knew the skepticism was plain on her face. The expensive-looking black suit he wore now was a far cry from the hobo look he’d gotten after being cast out by Yorinobu, but for all that Goro had seemingly regained his status in Arasaka, something in those words told V he wasn’t being completely honest with her. Had this been before their assault on the tower weeks ago, she'd have pried whatever he was hiding, but V said nothing this time. She didn’t want to turn this into a fight. Not when he was the first friendly face she'd seen in weeks.

“Alright - can you tell me who told you to talk with me? Hanako?”

Takemura shook his head. “No, V, I’m sorry - she has forgotten you already. They called from here, from the clinic. They said someone should talk with you. Someone you know.”

His words about Hanako stung, but they weren’t anything she hadn’t told herself during her worst moments. In a way, she’d known it from the start - she just hadn’t wanted to accept it. But sometimes you have to look the truth in the face. Takemura had simply made her do it. And yet… “Goro, what’s this about?” she asked, a cold chill running down her spine at the inescrutable look he gave her.

“I will be blunt. The surgery did not help. You will die before winter,” he told her, leaning on the chair and watching as V’s mouth slowly opened in shock.

She stared at him, a dumbfounded look on her face as if her mind was just incapable of comprehending what he was telling her. “Wha- but, no-no… that’s- that’s not possible! Can’t be true, Arasaka’s got the best and brightest!”

“The operation was a success and that is why. But it was done too late - the changes the chip made to your body were too great, even for corporate neurosurgeons.”

“Goddamnit, Goro, this is fuckin’ Arasaka we’re talking about!” she exclaimed, springing to her feet. “Tell ‘em to figure something out! Something, anything! They were supposed to fix this shit!”

“Listen to me, V,” he told her, circling the chair before sitting on it in front of her. “Not all is lost, not yet. There are still options open to you.”

As swiftly as it had come, the fire within her was snuffed out and she simply allowed herself to fall onto the bed, her entire body slumping down as a defeated look settled over her. “Dead in a few months - guess a happy ending was never in the cards, huh?” she mused out loud with a weak chuckle.

“You will feel better at first, but the illness will grow fierce not long after. Before long, it will attack you in force, leaving you bed-ridden during your final weeks.”

“Fuck, Goro, you're not exactly cheering me up here…” V cursed, running a hand over her face.

Dex’s bullet had come completely out of a sudden. Still numb and reeling from Jackie’s death, she just wanted to get rid of the fucking ship and lay low to mourn. Instead, she got a bullet to her head for her problems. She hadn’t really had the time to prepare or consider the finality of death before Dex tried to flatline her in a desperate attempt at tying off loose ends and saving his three-hundred pounds fat ass.

After being brought back from the dead by SoulKiller, she’d had a lot of time to ponder on her life and how fast it could be snuffed out. She’d made her peace with the fact it was very possible she wouldn’t be alive by the time the dust settled. Hell, she’d accepted that a single stray bullet or grenade or whatever could kill her at any moment.

But this… this was worse, much worse. She had allowed herself the illusion of hope, believing that with Johnny’s construct and the chip out of her head, everything would be smooth sailing from there on. Of course, she should’ve known it wouldn’t be so goddamn easy. “Fuck… Fuck. Alright, so- so what’s this ‘bout? You said I had options?”

Takemura nodded. “Yes. You may join the “Secure Your Soul” program. Both Hanako-sama and Saburo Arasaka have agreed to it. You will leave your body and Arasaka will store your engram in Mikoshi until a way is found to transfer it to a new body.”

As he spoke, he handed her a tablet with the SYS program contract already displayed on the touch screen. V looked down at it, staring at the words and clauses without truly seeing them. She knew she should read it, she’d be a gonk not to when she was dealing with Arasaka. But she couldn't do it. Much as she tried, the words blended together into one large white block of wiggling figures and symbols splashed over a black background.

Her mind was still trying to wrap itself around her imminent death.

"V? What are your thoughts?"

Goro tried to be reassuring, but what else would he tell her? Arasaka had given him the life he had now. The corp had trained him, fed him, given him clothes and a future. It had pulled him from a life of absolute poverty, of course he would always be an Arasaka man through and through. And yet, she couldn't fault him for that. Once upon a time, she'd worked for Arasaka as well. If she said Goro Takemura wasn't a choom of hers, well… she'd be pretty much straight up lying.

“I dunno, Goro… doesn’t look good to me,” she whispered. Her grip on the table was so tight her knuckles whitened.

“Please, believe me when I say that Arasaka keeps its promises. You are my friend, I would not lie to you,” Takemura told her with a serious look. “Well?”

“I just... “ Fighting through the hollow sea that threatened to swallow her whole, V tried to focus and read the contract’s clauses. “Goro, this here… it says I relinquish my rights.”

“I am aware, but do not worry. The law is simply behind the times: an engram is not legally a person. Yet.”

V didn’t answer immediately, eyeing the tablet. “So if I sign, I get to be corporate property first, huh?” The bitterness in the question surprised even her.

Takemura only shook his head, keeping his eyes solely on her face. “Many politicians and braindance superstars have signed the same contract, from what I know. The program is a success, there have been no complaints.”

“What happens if I say no? Do I even have the freedom to do that? To leave this behind and just spend what’s left of my life on my terms?”

The Arasaka loyalist looked almost offended by her question, leaning back on his chair with a frown. “This is not a prison, V. If you do not wish to join the program, you will be allowed to take your things and return to Earth, a location of your choosing - be it Night City or somewhere else. But then you would die after a few months and I do not wish that for you. Were I you, I would take this chance - but the choice is yours alone. Think it carefully.”

‘Return to Night City? What is there to return to?’ Jackie was dead and he’d been the closest thing to a best friend she’d had - one of the few she’d ever told her real name to and even then, he only used it sparingly when they were completely alone. The acquaintances she’d made during her life in the city all had their lives, they would go on without her.

And her friends? They would survive. Most were in a place where they didn’t need her anymore. They would -probably- miss her, were she to disappear, but slowly, eventually… they would move on. And then she’d be little more than a memory that blurred and faded with each passing year. The disappointment from some of them after knowing that she’d made a deal with Arasaka to get the biochip out made it quite clear what they thought of her choice. Misty’s stricken and disappointed face as Hellmann and Goro appeared flashed in her mind, filling her with guilt.

‘But what else could I have done?! Only Arasaka has the best scientists and surgeons!’ And even that hadn’t been enough, according to Goro. The pointlessness of it all was laughable.

Tears pricked her eyes, even though they refused to fall. She had made her choice, only to realize after the fact there had never been a chance to actually come out alive on the other side after everything was over. No, her friends would eventually move on without her. And well… she’d done all this to survive, hadn’t she?

Faced with the finality of death, what was one last pact with the devil?

“I don’t- I don’t wanna die, Goro,” she whispered, voice cracking as the tablet registered her biometric signature from her index finger.

“I know, V. It is a good choice,” the man assured her as he took the tablet from her hands with a gentleness she’d seldom seen. “The engram station is being readied for you. We should not wait for your condition to worsen.”

“How long do I have?”

“A couple of minutes, I suspect. The technology here is state-of-the-art, after all. There are probably calibrations to be made.”

“I see.” V didn’t move from the bed, watching Takemura with a strange feeling of apathy. Then, feeling an odd urge to get away from the room, she hastily clambered down the bed as Takemura rose from the chair and moved to the door. “Listen, we still have a few minutes, right? Then… why don’t you watch space with me?"

Takemura blinked. "Watch... space?" he repeated, as if he hadn't heard correctly the first time.

V nodded decisively. With each second that passed, the idea took root deeper and deeper in her mind and she wouldn't budge from it. "Yeah, come on - wanna spend these last moments with a choom." It wasn't like they had to walk for long, just a few steps outside her room to peer at the abyss from behind the safety of the glass of one of the corridor windows. Hajime was there, standing next to the locked airlock, but his presence all but faded from her mind.

"Had you ever seen space before, Goro? I mean - like this, from up here."

"Not until I came to this station, no. I never had the privilege of gazing at such sights before."

V stepped closer to the window, placing a hand on the glass. The cold surface sent a chill up her arm and she closed her eyes, allowing the feeling to wash over her. "Y'know, starin' into space has been my one pastime all these weeks…'' she started to say. Had she closed her eyes so she wouldn't see Goro's reaction? Taking a deep breath, she continued. Her voice sounded thin even to her. "There's this thing in me, this void… Dunno how to describe it, it feels like I'm falling down non-stop and my guts are up my throat. But whenever I stare into space, I feel a sense of… peace? Something like that. It makes me feel like I'm not the only thing empty inside."

"V…"

"I know it's hella stupid, Goro, but it's not like I can help it! It's… the moments I've felt the most real since the biochip was taken out were spent staring out this window. I…" She trailed off, faltering. She hesitated to share this, but what did it matter anymore? In a few minutes she'd be nothing more than an engram herself. "I don't think all of me survived when the surgery was done, Goro."

Takemura stepped closer to her, laying a tentative hand on her shoulder. "You must not think like this, V. The surgery worked as intended, it was simply too late to reverse the changes done to your body by the chip. You are not going to die." Takemura's firm voice had an undercurrent of steel in it as he gave a reassuring squeeze to the woman that had become a dear friend..

Appreciating the gesture, V saw how the vague reflection of her on the glass stretched her lips into a smile. "You ever watch the stars at night, Goro? Hardly see 'em from Night City most of the time. Not with all the pollution and shit. But from up here… Man, there's no view like it. Hard to believe they’re millions of lightyears away. Really puts shit into perspective, huh?"

Having taken a step back, Takemura didn’t answer immediately and when he said nothing after several long beats, V turned towards him with a quizzical look. “Goro?”

He was looking intently at her, studying her face. V knew he could see the dark bags under her eyes, but he didn’t say anything about it. “No, there wasn’t a good moment to sit back and take note of my surroundings. I suspect had I done so, I’d still have been disappointed.”

“Hey now, don’t knock it ‘till you try it! The city ends up growin’ on you, just saying.”

“I believe you. I’m certain it does... just like a cancerous growth,” Takemura replied. giving her an unimpressed look when she burst out laughing at the unexpected comparison. She didn’t say anything however, turning back to look beyond the window.

She knew the clock was ticking. At any time, the calibrations for the engram station would be finished and it would all be over. Goro's appearance had been unexpected, but it had proved to be a balm for her soul. Staring into space, with the only friend she probably still had by her side, V felt a sudden burst of emotion. It was one the likes of which she'd rarely experienced aboard the station.

‘This is so stupid…’ But everything would end in a few minutes, what was one last foolish decision? Linking a wireless connection to the music system Dr. Bitch had given her, she selected a track that she'd listened plenty of times in the last weeks.

It was a Samurai cover from a couple years ago, which had turned a rock song declaring defiance against an unjust society into a melancholic farewell. Johnny had decried it the first time he'd heard it, calling it a joke which twisted the original song's meaning into something different. But strangely, with his begrudging comments about the song having heart, V had begun to believe at the end that there was more to his dislike than he let on.

With the rare occasions in which the manifesto spouting, cynic rockerboy persona fell away, V had realized that another reason as to why he didn't like it was because it cut too deep into him. She supposed it might have resonated too much with him for his own liking. But Johnny was dead now. She’d killed him.

As the first notes started to drum in her head, she sang.

"I saw in you what life was missing.
You lit a flame that consumed my hate.
I'm not one for reminiscing but,
I'd trade it all for your sweet embrace."

Everything else blurred, fading away into unimportant information her brain filtered out while she sang. She couldn't stop even if she wanted and she didn't want to stop. Not when she was pouring what remained of her soul out onto this last thing.

"A thing of beauty, I know.
Will never fade away.
What you did to me, I know.
Said what you had to say.
But a thing of beauty…
Will never fade away."

The stars twinkled from thousands of light years away, silent spectators to the last minutes of her life in her own body. It was a moment borne of regret and defeated desperation. Even now, Johnny’s final fate only stirred a sense of melancholy and guilt within her. She’d taken the offer given by Hanako because she wanted to live, but it felt like betraying the man that had lowered his barriers and genuinely apologized to her while standing upon his unmarked grave outside the city.

How much of the emptiness within her was because a part of her was gone? A part that had slowly become vital, important to her. Had they been best friends by the end? V couldn’t say, but the one thing she knew was that they’d most certainly had become chooms. And now he was dead, shredded at the hands of Arasaka by her own choice.

"That one thing that changed it all.
That one sin that caused the fall."

Even now, she doubted them. Her choices. She had wanted to live, but at what cost? If his words were to be believed, Yorinobu had only wanted to bring down Arasaka from within or change it, but she'd been too far gone to acknowledge or even care about it when she’d confronted him. Now, Saburo lived again in the body of his own son, forcibly taken. Nothing had changed and Arasaka had come back with him, stronger than ever. But that had mattered little to her, hadn't it? She'd only cared to save her skin, even if it meant Arasaka got to retain and even increase its power.

"And I'll do my duty, I know.
Somehow I'll find a way.
But a thing of beauty.
Will never fade away.
And I'll do my duty….
Will never fade away."

The last chords dragged on, echoing inside her mind as they lost volume and faded. Stopping the connection to the music player, she turned to Takemura. He was looking at her, surprise written on his face. "V, that was… excellent singing. You are very talented, I did not know this."

Despite her attempts to suppress it, an embarrassed cough found its way past her lips. "Few do. Singing isn't something I usually do. Did. Not like I went to many parties and such. But glad you liked it."

“I did. Believe me when I say that was beautiful.”

V looked away. Had he told her this before their final confrontation with Yorinobu she might’ve blushed, feeling a strange mix of satisfaction and embarrassment at being praised over something that very few knew about her. But now, even such a thing seemed barred to her.

“Will I be aware there, Goro? Will I dream?” She didn’t need to clarify what she meant, Takemura understood the question.

“I do not know.” He didn’t look at her as he answered. He truly did not. The complexities and inner workings of Mikoshi and its engram constructs escaped his area of expertise and knowledge and he didn’t wish to give her a false sense of hope. He cared too much about her to do that.

“Shit… Okay.”

They fell silent, neither knowing exactly how to continue the conversation after that particularly somber question. Instead, they simply decided to turn towards the window, looking into the gentle stillness of space in companionable silence. But Takemura didn’t miss the slight shaking of her hands - he’d been a silent shadow to others for far too long to miss such a detail.

Though he regarded V with worry in his eyes, he was still trying to find the words to say when a message reached him from one of the doctors preparing the engram station. It was brief and to the point.

It was time.

“Goro, I’m scared,” she whispered when he told her so, locking up in place. Her whole body was shivering, a cold chill coursing over her; much as she tried, she couldn’t seem to move or breathe as her mind stuck on the fear of dying. What would happen to her? Would she still be V? Would she ever wake up with the sun on her face again, feel the comfortable grip of a pistol in her hand? Would she ever wake up? And even if she did, would she still be alive?

Shame you chose wrong. Damn shame.

Takemura, sensing a panic attack coming, quickly stepped up next to her once more and laid his hands on her shoulders. “Breathe deeply, V. I understand your fears, but you need not be scared, my friend.” He turned her around to face him, but the motion had startled her as if she were a frightened animal pursued by hunters.

But instead of bolting away in panic, she flung herself at him, burying her head into his chest and catching him off guard. Shocked, he reacted far slower than he’d ever like to admit. It had been years, decades even since the last time someone had done such a thing and his arms were understandably hesitant when they circled around V, offering whatever support he could give.

He was all too aware of her violent shivering as she leant onto his chest.

“I don’t wanna die, Goro. Don’t wanna die, don’t wanna die…” Hearing her voice crack as she spoke, Takemura frowned; V sounded close to outright sobbing. It was hard to reconcile the image of the fearless woman that had braved countless dangers with him in their crusade against Yorinobu Arasaka with the thin, almost frail woman at the verge of her snapping point.

He’d never seen her at such a low point and he was unsure on how to help. He could only give her what he thought was the truth. “You will not die, V,” he firmly told her while holding her. “This, I know to be true. Fear is only as deep as the mind allows. You have prevailed over much, my friend - you will triumph over this as well and come out stronger for it.”

“You think so?”

“Yes. The unknown scares us because we step into darkness, but you must understand this - you will live. Focus on these truths: Mikoshi will preserve your mind, your consciousness. You will gain a new body. We will see each other again. And when you wake up again… you will visit me in Kagawa. I will show you what real food is then.”

V laughed at that, the edges of her eyes and mouth wrinkling from amusement, and for a split moment Takemura could see again the stubborn, headstrong woman that had faced countless obstacles and setbacks with unmatched determination. Even if her eyes were wet with unshed tears.

“No sawdust and plastic, then?” she asked, pushing herself away from his chest. For a fleeting moment, Goro Takemura had the irrational impulse to pull her towards him again, but he ruthlessly crushed it before it could even rise to the surface and he replied quickly to put it out of his mind.

“Please, V, I said real food. No sawdust and plastic,” he confirmed. The affronted look on his face, making him appear as if the idea itself revolted him, only made her laugh again. There was a lightness in her that she hadn’t felt in a long while.

Her shaking had stopped. There was still fear in her eyes, but it was tempered now, forged into an armor of will and spirit. The sight of it filled Takemura with an odd sense of pride and affection. Sometimes, when he looked back on it, he could hardly believe the half-dead woman he'd pulled from under the thrash would become so dear to him.

He pointedly ignored the way she tried to wipe the wetness from her eyes surreptitiously.

"Well… I guess there's no point in puttin' this off…" V spoke, trailing off as her eyes zeroed in on the room where the engram station waited. She turned to look at him, an odd gleam in her green eyes. "Goro, will you… will you come with me?"

Takemura understood the implied request and he nodded. He wouldn't leave a friend to face the unknown alone. He would be with her, at least as far as he could go. It wasn’t as much as he would have liked. Where she went, he could not follow.

But that mattered little for V's request and they began the short trek to the room further down the corridor. V walked with a deliberate slow pace that Takemura matched without a word. He wouldn't urge V to hurry up. Not in such a situation.

"Y'know, if nothing else, I'm glad to have met ya, Goro. You're an alright choom. I'm- I'm happy that at least one friend of mine will be here when… well-"

"V, cease this foolish notion. You will not die."

"Then why do I feel otherwise? If not death, then this feels like an end.”

“But not the end,” he countered. Their voices bounced off the walls, the only source of sound aside from their steps on the pristine corridor. “An ending is nothing more than a new beginning. It is merely a change of perspective. Months, perhaps a few years from now, we will meet each other again. You will survive, V; you are a fighter.”

‘But you are Arasaka through and through,’ a part of V thought uncharitably. ‘If Saburo Arasaka told you to jump from a window, you’d simply ask from which one.’

Takemura promised her that becoming an engram wouldn’t be the end of the line for her, but he didn’t know everything. Had they not lied to him about Saburo’s engram? But no matter how many times he got burned, he would always come back like a whimpering dog because Arasaka had given him everything.

The corporation had built him from the ground up and he simply wouldn’t know what else to be if that fundamental part of him was taken away. When he promised her that they would see each other again, he spoke out of the belief that the agreement would be fulfilled. That, sooner or later, Arasaka would find a way to recreate her body according to her new phenotype and store safely her engram construct into it. But they had already shown he was easily discarded. What good were his promises when pit against the behemoth that was Arasaka?

But she wanted to live. She wanted to survive with an unbridled desperation that scorched everything around her. She still had so much to see, to experience, to live for. In the face of that burning desire, what else could she do? So she simply turned to Takemura and gave him a weak smile. She ignored the strangling knot in her throat, she ignored her less than amicable thoughts about Goro’s more questionable traits when it came to Arasaka. She ignored the doubts that prowled the darker corners of her mind.

She wanted to live and Goro Takemura was her friend, the only one with her in these last few moments. There were a lot of things she could’ve done, but she simply smiled at him and nodded. “Okay.”

Their steps faltered for a moment before stopping, having reached the engram station’s room, Research Lab 44A according to the information placed near the door. “This is it,” she muttered, staring past the tinted dark blue of the sliding glass door.
Lifting up her arm, she hesitated, hand hovering over the touch-sensitive identification panel. "Goro, will you promise me something?"

"If it's within my power, I will do so."

"When I become… when my engram is created, my body will be left behind. Please, take it with you when you leave."

"V, are you implying-?"

"Yeah. I don't - I don't wanna be cremated, ok? It sounds stupid, but… take my body and… and dunno, bury me- it somewhere peaceful, quiet-like. Surrounded by nature, ok? Maybe some nice trees or something. Just… I'd rather not have my body cut open and harvested in a lab by Arasaka."

"I see…"

"Promise me, Goro. I know it sounds stupid, but I can’t help it. Promise me you'll bury my body somewhere nice."

"It is not stupid. I promise I will do everything in my power to do as you ask, V."

"Good, good…" She breathed deeply one last time, attempting to steel her nerves, before turning a bit to look behind her at the expanse of space. The stars shone brightly. “Whatever happens… I’ll miss this view.”

And then, she placed her hand on the identification panel.

xxOOOxx

Two hours later, the small space shuttle that had brought him to the Ouranos departed the orbital station, inbound for Takamatsu and to his new assignment. There was little that had changed in it from when he’d taken it to meet V when the clinic called with news of her situation and the data they’d gathered on her condition.

The shuttle looked the same, all sleek lines and a white palette of colors used for its walls and floors. He knew little of the technology that went into these shuttles, but he was aware of the artificial gravity generator and similar tech that had grown in leaps and bounds over the last decades. That kind of tech was exactly the reason why he could now seat himself on one of the shuttle’s seats without floating up.

‘Your mind wanders. Hone it to a razor-sharp focus,’ he scolded himself, but he could not. All the exercises that had been hammered down into him during training so long ago fled him now in this most turbulent time.

His hands held with gentle care a small necklace. It wasn’t an impressive one, little more than a chain of silver attached to a lop of metal. It had a spent bullet, attached to a long string that held it together within the metal lop. It was a small thing, crude and makeshift - to most, he knew it would be nothing more than junk.

Goro Takemura knew better. Running a finger over the bullet’s surface, he could only hope that he had done the correct thing. He wanted to believe that he’d done a good thing, that he’d saved the life of a dear friend and yet… doubt was an insidious rot that gnawed from within, this he knew.

His eyes did not stray from the bullet. He still couldn’t muster the courage to look up at the one detail that had changed in the shuttle in its journey back to Earth.

Taking a deep breath, Takemura rose to his feet. The rigid fabric of his astronaut suit creaked and rustled with his movement. The suit was uncomfortable, but he weathered it in silence; his training hadn’t included the particular conditions of space, but the suit had been an unavoidable requirement he’d gladly bear for a friend in need.

After all, none of V’s other friends would have been allowed into the station, unaffiliated with Arasaka in any way as they were. However, they would need to know about this. If nothing else, to give them closure - Mr. Hellman and their scientists were still unsure on how long it would take them to find a suitable method to bring her back in a safe manner.

Running a bulky, gloved hand over his well-groomed beard, Goro Takemura grit his teeth. He’d protected Saburo Arasaka for several decades without nary a mistake or spot in his record, he’d protected the very heart of the Arasaka corporation with such zeal even his charge had claimed more than once that every single Arasaka soldier should strive to be like Takemura-san.

So why, then? If he was such a peerless fighter and bodyguard, why could he not muster the courage to look at the damnable coffin that took up most of the space in the shuttle? He’d assured her signing the contract would not mean death. He still believed so. The presence of the coffin that held her body, though… it was hard for the heart to believe such truths when the eyes were wont to offer a terrible vision.

Taking measured steps in the small free space he still had available, Takemura approached the large contraption. He finally forced himself to look down at it, placing a hand on the smooth, cool surface when he stood next to it. The coffin was built with a mixture of synth ebony wood and clear glass that allowed V’s body to be seen.

‘It is unsettling how she almost looks to be sleeping, rather than being a dead body,’ he considered with a dark frown. With her vibrant red hair framing her face and head like a crimson crown, hands resting on her chest and her eyes closed, she truly looked like she was simply taking a long nap. But he knew she wasn’t. When the engram had been created, V’s body had been nothing more than an empty husk and the doctors had proceeded to administer euthanasia to it.

Remembering the way one of them had actually dared to argue against him taking the body to fulfill her last request still ignited his blood with a fury that left his arms shaking. Only his many years of training and experience had kept him from snapping the man’s neck when he suggested the body would be a valuable asset to research genetic manipulation and how it affected the SoulKiller process.

He could only be grateful that Professor Kusama had taken a long look at V’s body, now devoid of life, before declaring with a firm voice that he’d be allowed to take it with him and no one would suggest otherwise. That is, after taking a few more samples. Plenty had already been taken during V’s tests, to which he was thankful for. It meant she wouldn’t be left looking like she’d been cut open by an honorless scavenger.

He should have placed the bullet necklace back around her neck when they gave it to him, her body already within the coffin, but he hadn’t dared to. Perhaps it was better this way, however - once she was finally back, he’d be able to return the necklace in person. Because she would return, he was sure of that.

She had to.

Unbidden, his thoughts returned to the brief chain of messages he’d started minutes before boarding the shuttle. Pulling up the messenger application on his optic feed, Takemura stared at the messages, a dark, troubled frown creasing his brow.

UNKNOWN NUMBER:

G: It is done.

UN: Very well. We need to push up the schedule. He is growing more unstable by the day, paranoia and cruelty grip his heart. He is no longer the man I knew.
UN: I should have seen this coming before. I fear he will attempt to turn her into another rabid dog like Smasher before long.

GT: I do not like this.

UN: I understand your concerns, but this must be done. She will be the spearhead to excise the rot once and for all.

GT: She should not be a weapon.

UN: A weapon is a tool. She will be neither. I keep my promises, Takemura-san; once this is done, she will be free to choose her path, be it with us or not.
UN: I will divert his attention. Make sure Mr. Hellmann understands the… reality of his situation. I want results. Soon.

GT: His estimations are long term.

UN: Then let him know he has twelve months. No more.

He’d understood the conversation was finished after that final remark. There was little else to say after that, but he was still left reeling with its implications. Goro Takemura had rarely felt apprehension such as this in his life - he was dealing in treason, readying himself to betray the one man that had pulled him up from poverty.

With V’s engram created, it was now a race against time before it all came to a head. Arasaka would be rocked by another disaster in a year at most.

‘The final death of Saburo Arasaka,’ he considered with a grimace. To his own surprise, the feelings of shame and guilt he had at the thought of his betrayal weren’t as pronounced as he’d expected. By the time Hanako-sama had approached him, he’d already seen the glint of cruel madness in the eyes of the one he’d thought of with nothing but respect.

Looking down at the body within the coffin, Takemura let out a tired breath. “I fear you will come to despise me for my underhandedness.” It had been necessary, too many unfriendly ears, but he knew it would not endear him to her when they saw each other again. She’d understand the sentiment - he was deeply unhappy about such skullduggery as well, but revealing their plans in the station would’ve been suicide.

Hanako-sama had been adamant in bringing her onboard this mad scheme, promising to devote as many resources as necessary to bring her back in a new body. A new life and a new body put together as soon as possible in exchange for her help one last time. He could only hope she’d forgive him for the deception eventually.

But first things first. He had a body to see to. He could ponder on the uncertainty of the months to come later.

“I do not know where I’ll find a place that you’d like, V. Mayhaps in Japan. I will keep to my promise, do not doubt that,” he assured her. He felt quite foolish, talking to empty air, but the shuttle was completely automated. No one could hear him here, not unless a connection was established. “But I look forward to showing you around in Kagawa.” Just as he’d promised her hours ago, he would show her real food then.

Because Goro Takemura was no betting man, but if he had to hedge his bets on one single thing, it would be the fact that they would meet each other again.

He was certain of it.