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It was pure stupidity that they’d been caught in the first place. They’d been too busy arguing over something stupid to notice the blatantly obvious pitfall in the middle of the woods, and once they were down in the hole, these two-bit slavers shot them full of some paralyzing drug and tied them up.
Apparently they weren’t expecting to catch two idiots in their stupid hole, so now they were figuring out which one of them to take back to sell to some asshole looking for fighters in his death match.
“We’re taking this one,” the leader said as she kicked at Zoro’s side and grabbed him by the shirt, “He’s got the muscles and the swords.”
He growled at glared up at her. If he could just get ahold of one of his swords he could end this, but his fingers were still unresponsive.
A smirk cut across her face as she unsheathed her sword, “And a fighting spirit. He’ll fetch a good price.”
Zoro snarled. If she thought she could sell him she had another thing coming.
“Take me instead.”
The slavers stopped what they were doing to turn and stare at Sanji.
“Excuse me?” The leader unceremoniously dropped Zoro into the dirt as she rounded on him.
“Take me instead of him.” Sanji’s mouth twitched as if he wanted a cigarette, but he had as much control over his body as Zoro did and remained motionless.
She laughed and grabbed his chin roughly, “I could find a buyer for you, you’re certainly pretty enough, but our client is looking for fighters, not fuck toys.”
Sanji’s eye twitched, and Zoro could only imagine what he would have shouted at her if she wasn’t a woman.
Instead he said, “I can fight, a lot better than that shitty half-baked swordsman. And my bounty’s higher than his. You can get way more for me.”
Zoro growled. He saw what Sanji was doing under the insults, trying to sacrifice himself in an attempt to save Zoro. Well, he wasn’t going to let him.
“He’s lying,” Zoro said, “He’s just some shit cook. Can’t fight worth a damn, and he barely has a bounty.”
Her eyes narrowed and darted between them, sizing them both up.
“He’s not lying,” one of the others said as he shuffled through a stack of papers, “Well, not about the bounty at least.”
She snatched the bounty poster out of his hand. As her eyes skimmed it, a smile slowly crept onto her face, “Vinsmoke Sanji?”
Sanji’s eye twitched again at the name, but he managed to hold back his rage as he answered, “Yeah, that’s me.”
She sauntered back over to him and lifted his chin up with the tip of her sword, “Where were you born, Mr. Vinsmoke?”
“I don’t see how-”
She smacked him hard in the head with the flat side of her blade, throwing his head back and slicing open his forehead.
“I’ll decide what’s relevant or not,” she said coldly, “Just answer the fucking question.”
“The Marines put the wrong name on the poster,” Zoro tried again, “They had bad information. Seriously, he’s no one. He’s not-”
Two of the slavers took the swords out and held them against his throat.
“I don’t need you in one piece,” the leader said without turning around, “One more word out of you and I’ll take your other eye. Two more and it’ll be your tongue.”
Zoro snarled at her, fingers twitching for his swords.
She tapped her blade under Sanji’s chin again, “Answer my question.”
Sanji glanced up at her as the blood ran down his face. He turned to the side and spat out a wad of blood, eyes never leaving hers, then said, “Germa.”
Her grin grew wide, showing off the gold molars at the back of her mouth, “We’ll take this one.”
“Client’s not gonna be happy with this one,” a slaver said as he tied Sanji up.
“That dickhead can get fucked,” she said as she sheathed her sword, “I have another buyer in mind for Mr. Vinsmoke.”
She kicked Zoro over so he was face down in the dirt, “If we’re quick about it, maybe we can come back for him later.”
Zoro tried to will his body to move, to grab his sword and slice them up, to do something other than lie there and be useless as they took Sanji away from him, but that was exactly what happened. His cursing and spitting only earned him a few more kicks to his side as the slavers gathered their things and moved on.
Helplessness overtook him for a moment, but it was quickly replaced by a white hot anger, and he let it consume him.
How dare Sanji sacrifice himself like that. How dare he sit there and let it happen. How dare these fuckers take Sanji from him.
Much more slowly than he would have liked, he clenched his fist and stood up.
It didn’t take long for him to find the slaver’s hideout. It took even less time to kill them all, now that he could move. He made sure to take his time, being extra thorough to make sure not a single one was breathing by the time he was done.
They’d stuck Sanji with more of the paralyzing drug, so he was uselessly flopped onto Zoro’s back as he made his way back to the ship.
“That was a stupid thing to do,” Zoro said when the silence was getting to him, “Offering yourself up like that.”
“It worked, didn’t it?” Sanji muttered into his shoulder.
He scowled, “You almost got sold to some shitty scientist who was gonna dissect and experiment on you.”
“Meh,” his tone was indifferent, and the disinterest in his own fate almost had Zoro seeing red again, “It’s better than the alternative.”
He wanted to scream. Sanji thinking so little of himself was incredibly frustrating. Didn’t he know how much he meant to him? That Zoro would do or say anything if it meant Sanji was here and safe? “What could possibly be worse than that?”
“Losing you.”
That stopped him in his tracks. He glanced over his shoulder, but Sanji’s hair was covering his face.
“So instead, you were gonna make me lose you, huh?” He said eventually, “That’s pretty selfish of you.”
“Yeah, well,” he sighed, his breath rolling across his neck and rustling his earrings, “If you lost me, you could always get another cook. I can’t get another Zoro.”
“You’re such a fucking moron,” he said as he continued walking, “It’s not like I can get another Sanji.”
“You could get another lover,” he continued, and if it wasn’t for the fact he couldn’t move or defend himself, Zoro would have punched him, “I’m sure you have options.”
“I don’t want another lover,” he snarled. How dense could he be? “I want you.”
Sanji was silent for a moment, then said, “I’m not, going to apologize or say I won’t do it again. Because I know I will. If the choice is between your death or mine, I’m going to choose mine every time.”
Zoro grit his teeth and scowled. He’d known Sanji for long enough to not expect any different, but it was still frustrating how quick he was to sacrifice himself like his life meant nothing, when really it meant everything.
But Zoro couldn’t blame him either. If given the choice between his death and Sanji’s, he’d pick his own too.
So he sighed and said, “I know. But I don’t like it.”
Silence fell over the forest, so Zoro started walking again. Eventually Sanji said, “Thank you for coming after me.”
“If you’re gonna keep doing stupid shit like this, then I’m gonna come after you,” he glanced over his shoulder at him, “Every time. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
Sanji managed to turn his head enough to look at him, “I kinda want to kiss you right now, but I can’t move.”
“Serves you right,” Zoro smirked, “It’s your own damn fault.”
“Jackass,” Sanji scowled and looked away.
He chuckled, then leaned in and kissed him on the top of his head, “For being a fucking moron.”
“Whatever,” he said as he buried his face further into his shoulder, the tips of his ears turning red, “You’re going the wrong way, idiot.”
“If you’re gonna complain, why don’t you do the walking and carry me on your back instead?”
“I would if I could fucking move.”
“Shoulda thought about that before you got yourself paralyzed.”
Sanji cursed him out, and their bicker leveled out to their normal levels as they made their way back to the ship.