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James’ throat hurt and he was furiously blinking tears out of his eyes as the front door slammed behind him. He tore the glasses off his face to wipe the stray ones away, and then shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat as he stormed down the street. He knows that Lily wants to fight for the order, and he knows that she is more than capable of defending herself. He trusts her more than anyone. But she is carrying their baby now, and the thought of anything happening to either of them is more than he can bear. He’s not proud of how he reacted, he shouldn’t have yelled and walked out.
He still needs more time to cool down, the war is beginning to take its toll on him and he just needs some time to think and to breathe without feeling suffocated. He heads to the local shopping centre, as the rooftop is almost always abandoned and he can have some time there to think to himself. Lighting a cigarette, he takes a drag while sitting on the rails that overlook the town. The clouds seem to indicate a storm coming, and an ominous feeling grew over him.
After a couple of hours, he decided he needed to go back and apologise. He had taken the time to clear his head and he needed to go back and talk to Lily calmly. Plus, it had started to rain and he didn’t fancy being outside for much longer.
Walking inside, he started apologising immediately.
“Lils,” he called out, hanging up his coat. “Lils I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I know you-“
His words cut off at the sight in front of him. As he stepped into the dining room he saw his wife silently sobbing at the table. She looked distraught.
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “There was an owl while you were gone, your parents-“
Her voice broke, and another wave of tears washed over her. She pushed a letter at him and buried her face into his shoulder.
His heart dropped to his stomach as he skimmed over the letter, not really taking it in, only certain words jumping out at him.
Euphemia and Fleamont Potter… peacefully in their sleep… dragon pox… funeral…
“No,” he choked out. He felt as though his whole world had crashed down around him.
He felt his whole world go grey. The lump in his throat was painful but the tears weren’t coming. He buried his face in Lily’s shoulder and squeezed his eyes tight shut, as though his parents would still be alive when he opened them again. He had a fleeting thought that he had to tell Sirius, they were his parents too.
“Sirius,” he managed to murmur to Lily.
She knew what he meant and scrawled a quick message- Sirius, come now, urgent- hastily tying it to the owl and then turning her attention back to James. He was sobbing freely now, his glasses sat on the table. They held each other tight, Lily rubbing comforting circles on James’ back. Eventually there were no tears left to cry, and they sat in the living room in silence.
The floo roared to life, startling Lily. Sirius took in their tear stained faces and was immediately concerned.
“What happened?” he asked urgently.
“Mum and dad…” James started, but he trailed off. “They- dragon pox. They’re gone.”
It was all he could manage to say, somehow saying it out loud made it infinitely more real and he felt his lip begin to tremble.
Sirius’ face fell, and he immediately sank to his knees. James walked over to him and wrapped his arms around him immediately. The brothers sat there for a long time, feeling like they had lost a piece of themselves.
The war had taken so much from them, and the fact that they couldn’t blame this on it was new to them. It was almost worse, to not have something to blame it on except the universe. Holding each other tight, Lily quietly crying next to them, they each mulled over what this would mean for them now. They had lost the two most generous people in the Order, had lost Euphemia with her perpetual smile and endless baking and warm hospitality. Had lost Fleamont, with his comforting presence and his readiness to fight for what he believed in.
The Order would never be the same, that was certain, but they knew they had to be grateful for each other and hold on. They had lost too much for it to all be for nothing.