Even normal days can turn weird on the Dream SMP. That’s why when THEY announced a play they were performing, a historical remake of important recent events on the Dream SMP.

Niki saw the ad first, and called everyone to the community house - or, more specifically, the ruins of the community house.

“I still don’t exactly understand why we’re meeting here,” Tommy said. “I mean, Dream blew it up. What’s the point in continuing to meet here?”

“Well, everyone knows where it is, so I thought it would be a good location to make my announcement,” Niki replied.

“You’ve been talking about this ‘announcement’ a lot, Niki,” Techno commented. “Sure hope it’s important.”

“TECHNO!” Tommy yelled.

“I invited him here! I invited him here!” Niki said frantically. “He should hear this too! Please calm down, Tommy!”

“Fine, Niki,” Tommy said. “I won’t attack him until you’re all done with what you have to say.”

“There’s a play about us,” Niki told them all.

“What? No way!” Tubbo said excitedly. “You’re joking! Who would make a play about us?”

“THEY would,” Niki said.

“Who’s they?” Ghostbur asked, looking confused while beside him, Ranboo flipped through his memory book in hopes of finding something.

“No, not they, THEY,” Niki said, trying to get everyone to understand. “The Happy Ever Years. T, H, E, Y. THEY. THEY wrote a play about us, they’re performing tonight.”

“Oooh, THEY,” Fundy said. “Y’know, I might’ve heard something about this.”

“What did you hear?” Philza asked curiously.

“Just that THEY’re apparently rising stars in musical theater,” Fundy shared.

“Rising stars? We have a music star here already,” Tommy said. “I’ll take care of the beat, you sing, Ghostbur! Let’s go! Cha-cha-cha-cha-CHA!” Tommy started beatboxing.

“No,” Ghostbur said. “No, no, no, Tommy, we’re not singing right now, I don’t have my guitar.”

“Yeah, and you wouldn’t sing right now anyways, because we’re trying to hear about this play, right, Tommy, Ghostbur?” Philza said.

“Sorry,” Ghostbur apologized.

“Sorry,” Tommy echoed.

“Please, continue, Niki,” Fundy said.

Niki opened the book with the ad, and began to read.

“‘The Happy Ever Years are an acclaimed musical troupe, led by the renowned singer and dancer, FlowerKing. His sources include overzealous revolutionaries, strict and serious prison wardens, gamers across the globe, and one overly friendly and forgetful ghost.”

Everyone looked at Ghostbur.

“Wasn’t me,” he said. “I think. Maybe it was Glatt.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Schlatt, all right,” Tommy said.

“Well, should we go see it?” Fundy asked. “I mean, it sounds like they put a lot of work into this.”

“You never know, it could be fun,” Tubbo agreed.

In the end, they all agreed to see the play. Furthermore, Tommy had an idea that was either the best or the worst.

“We should bring Dream to see this,” Tommy said.

“What? After we just beat him and he tried to kill me?” Tubbo said.

“And I put all that work into locking him in there?” Sam added.

“Well, we can keep his spawn point in the prison,” Fundy mused.

“And kill him if he tries to escape,” Ranboo added. “Besides, I’d like to see his reaction.”

“Well, if we’re careful,” Techno said. “I guess it’s fine. I mean, it’s not like we have to forgive him or let him go.”

“WHO ASKED YOU?!” Tommy yelled.

“Tommy, calm down,” Philza said.

“I AM- ugh. Tubbo. We don’t have to if you don’t want us to,” Tommy said.

“Well, Ranboo’s right,” Tubbo said. “I guess Dream might make it funny.”

“Yes, let’s have Dream come!” George added. “I’d like to see him again!”

“We should vote on it,” Ghostbur said. “Raise your hand if you want to bring Dream.”

Niki raised her hand. George and Sapnap raised their hands. BadBoyHalo raised his hand.

Techno started to raise his hand, but dropped it at a glare from Tommy, who grabbed Dream’s trident. “You don’t get a vote,” Tommy said.

Tommy, Tubbo, and Sam did not raise their hands.

“Eret, Phil, and Techno don’t get votes,” Tommy said.

“Wait, you’re still mad about the Final Control Room?” Eret asked.

“Yeah, I’m still mad!” Tommy yelled. “That was one of my only three canon lives!” Ghostbur raised his hand. “I never met the guy,” Ghostbur said. Tommy and Tubbo exchanged glances. “And it’s been some time!”

“Wait, why don’t I get a vote?” Techno asked.

“Because you withered L’Manburg!” Tommy yelled. “L’MANBURG! TWICE!”

“Yeah, but I had a good reason!” Techno said.

“No, you didn’t!” Tommy yelled.

“Stop it, you two,” Philza said. “Techno’s right.”

“No, he’s not!” Tommy yelled, rounding on Philza. “You are a terrible father!”

“You know what would be funny?” Fundy said loudly over Tommy’s incoherent screeching at Philza and Techno. “If we really, actually brought Dream. To stop the bickering.”

“All right, Fundy,” BadBoyHalo said.

“I guess it’s okay,” Tubbo said.

“Sounds great!” Techno yelled over Tommy.

“I’ll meet you at the theater with Dream,” Sam said. “Let’s make sure to keep Dream away from beds.”

______________________________

That night, they all congregated outside the theater. Tubbo kept fidgeting restlessly.

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” Tubbo murmured to Tommy.

“What are you talking about? It’s a great idea!” Tommy said.

“Sam’s coming,” Ghostbur said.

Everyone turned as Sam walked over, leading Dream on a leash.

“How is he on the leash?” Tubbo asked, amazed.

“I’ve learned not to question Sam,” Tommy replied.

“Learnt,” Philza said. “It’s learnt, not learned.”

“Fine, I’ve LEARNT not to question Sam,” Tommy growled.

“Hi everyone,” Dream said cheerfully. “So good to see you all again!”

“Shut up, Dream,” Tommy said.

“No one cares, Dream,” Tubbo added.

“I care,” George said. “It’s really good to see you, Dream!”

“Remember, Dream,” Eret said. “If you attack any of us, even on accident, or try to run away, we will kill you.”

“And you will return to prison immediately,” Sam added. “Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” Dream said. “Now, let’s get this party started!”

“Tch,” Tommy scoffed. “Typical American.”

They walked into the theater and took their seats.

“Aww, why’d we have to sit in the nosebleed section?” Tommy whined.

“This is the only section that allows weapons,” Sam said. “Would you rather run the risk of sitting somewhere else and not being able to kill Dream if he tries to escape?”

“Yes,” Dream said. “Yes, I would.”

“On second thought, this is fine,” Tommy said, sitting back.

The lights went dark and the curtains rolled back. The stage lit up to reveal a man badly dressed in a red sweater and a sad-face mask standing in the middle of the stage. Menacing music played.

“Hm, good theme,” Dream said. “But is that supposed to be-”

“I am Dream!” the actor yelled, his voice muffled by the mask. “You may call me Lord Dream, the Coolest Guy and Best Gamer Around or The Supreme Ruler of This SMP, Lord Dream!”

No one could speak, they were all laughing too hard.

“That’s - no - why - hey!” Dream yelled. Everyone just laughed harder.

“All right, now,” Actor-Dream said. “There’s something I want you all to do whenever I walk onstage. Let’s practice it now!”

“Oh, no,” Dream muttered.

“Stand up, everyone, come on, stand up,” Actor-Dream urged. A couple people stood up, including Dream and George. Actor-Dream wasn’t fazed, and kept telling everyone to stand up until everyone was on their feet.

“This - is - amazing,” Tommy wheezed in between laughs.

“Now bow to me, come on, people, bow to me,” Actor-Dream ordered.

Slowly people began bowing.

“I - no, I don’t - I’m not like this!” Dream said.

“Oh, no,” Tommy said.

“No, this is- this is accurate,” Tubbo said.

“It’s a little rude,” Niki commented.

“It’s not rude, it’s hilarious!” Techno laughed.

Actor-Dream refused to move on with the play until everyone was bowing to him.

“This actor so has you pinned, Dream,” Tommy said.

“What actor?” a new voice said.

“Drista!” Tommy yelled. “What are you doing here?”

“Dream sounded upset, so I thought I’d come see what’s up!” Drista said. “Wow, Dream, is that supposed to be you?”

“Go away, Drista!” Dream yelled.

“Give me another shulker box, Drista!” Punz yelled.

“No! Go away, Drista!” Dream yelled. There was a scuffling noise, and then a slamming noise. “Okay. She’s gone.”

“Good job, everyone!” Actor-Dream yelled. “Now, I’m going to open the Dream SMP to some specific people! Please welcome TommyInnit, Tubbo_, Sapnap, and GeorgeNotFound! We can call them Tommy, Tubbo, Sapnap, and George!”

A ten-year-old walked onstage wearing brown pants and a white shirt with green shoulders.

“Is that- is that me? I think that’s me,” Tommy said. “Why am I so young?! I am OLDER than that!”

Actor-Tommy was followed by a five-year-old dressed in loose jeans and a button-down green shirt.

“Wait, I’m not- I’m not five!” Tubbo yelled.

Dream and Tommy laughed the hardest.

“I’m not the youngest anymore!” Tommy yelled.

Actor-Tommy and Actor-Tubbo were followed by a forty-year-old wearing a stained white shirt with a sad face on it and black pants with white stripes.

“WHAT?!” Sapnap yelled. No one spoke, they were all dying of laughter.

Actor-Sapnap was followed by a young adult, probably in his twenties, wearing a blue shirt with a sad face and purple pants. The man was also wearing insanely large glasses.

“My glasses aren’t that big,” was George’s only comment.

Actor-Tubbo took center stage. “I am TommyInnit!” The child squeaked.

“Wait, so I’m wearing your clothes, and you’re wearing my clothes?” Tubbo shouted. He had to yell to be heard over the former Dream Team’s laughter. “At least I’m not the five-year-old!”

Tommy started screaming obscenities at the actors.

“Tubbo and I are wearing green so we match ‘cause we’re beeeeeeest friends!” Actor-Tommy squeaked. Actor-Tubbo walked over and put his arm around Actor-Tommy. Actor-Tommy tried to put his arm around Actor-Tubbo, but he was too short.

“I am six-foot-three!” Tommy yelled.

“Tommy, shut up!” Philza said. “We’re trying to listen!”

“My favorite things are whining, Tubbo, whining, this music disc, whining, this music disc, Tubbo, whining, and being a nuisance!” Actor-Tommy screeched.

“Your favorite thing is being a nuisance?” Techno said, his voice shaking with his efforts to not laugh.

“No, it’s not!” Tommy yelled.

Actor-Dream walked over and grabbed the music discs from Actor-Tommy’s hand. Actor-Tommy started bawling, causing Tubbo to pick him up and start shushing him like a baby.

Tommy shrunk down in his seat in embarrassment while everyone around him howled with laughter.

“Ha!” Actor-Dream yelled. “I’m invincible and immortal, these music discs are MINE, and you can never DREAM of beating me!” Actor-Dream removed his mask, winked at the audience, then put the mask back on, upside-down.

“No, they’re MY discs!” Actor-Tommy whined. “Give ‘em back!”

“No, they’re MY discs now! Ha-ha-ha! Evil laughter!” Actor-Dream yelled.

Everyone watched, laughing, as Actor-Tommy promptly chased Actor-Dream around the stage, waving a wooden sword, while Actor-Tubbo shouted advice that was supposed to be helpful, Actor-George slipped offstage, and Actor-Sapnap stood in the background.

Eventually Actor-Dream ran by Actor-Tubbo, who stuck his foot out, tripping Actor-Dream, who melodramatically fell to the ground, throwing the discs as far away from him as he could. Actor-Tommy ran over, grabbed the discs, then ran back to center stage.

“After a long, hard war, I have my discs back!” Actor-Tommy yelled, while people dressed in black could clearly be seen attaching wires to him. “I am putting them in my Ender Chest!” The wires lifted Actor-Tommy up and brought him up to the rafters, where he left the discs, and then was brought back to the ground. The people dressed in black removed the wires.

“Did I just… fly?” Tommy asked.

“Wow, Tommy, you can fly!” Ghostbur said. No one else responded, they were too busy laughing at Tommy.

“I - Tubbo, I thought you were supposed to be on my side!” Tommy whined. Then he froze. “Tubbo. I thought you were supposed to be on MY side!” Tommy said in a much deeper, more serious voice. Tubbo only laughed harder.

Actor-Dream stood up and walked over to center stage. Actor-Tommy and Actor-Tubbo walked over to stage right, while Actor-Sapnap walked over to stage left. Actor-George slipped onstage and joined Actor-Sapnap on stage left.

“I am opening the Dream SMP further!” Actor-Dream yelled. “Please welcome ItsFundy, The_Eret, WilburSoot, and Punz! You can call them Fundy, Eret, Wilbur, and Punz!”

“Oh! I’m coming in!” Ghostbur said, leaning forward. “I’m going to get to see everything that happened before I died! This is going to be great!”

Tommy and Tubbo exchanged sad looks as an eleven-year-old dressed badly as a fox walked onstage.

“Oh. That’s- that’s supposed to be me,” Fundy said. “The ears are off-center. And why am I eleven?”

“At least you’re not a toddler,” Tommy grumbled.

Actor-Fundy was followed by a guy wearing sunglasses, a giant crown that kept slipping, and a giant red coat that everyone kept tripping on.

“Is that- is that me?” Eret asked. Tommy roared with laughter along with everyone else.

“I changed my mind about this play, this is brilliant!” he yelled.

“Someone respect meeeee,” Actor-Fundy cried. Real Fundy looked hurt.

“I am Eret!” Actor-Eret yelled. “I am the most trustworthy person on the Dream SMP, I am not going to betray you!”

A woman carrying a guitar tripped on Actor-Eret’s coat as she walked onstage.

She got up instantly, and kept walking. She was wearing a white formal shirt, a black blazer, and black formal pants. When she reached center stage, she sat down, strummed her guitar and started singing soprano.

“I am Willie Soot, oh, oh, oh yeah!” She sang badly.

“Willie… Soot?” Ghostbur asked. “Tommy, I thought I was a guy when I lived, and my name was Wilbur Soot, not Willie Soot!”

“Well, I thought you were, too,” Tommy said. “Maybe you were trans but were scared to come out about it?” Tommy and Ghostbur were both very confused now as the old Dream Team laughed.

A man followed Willie onstage, dressed in a white shirt and ripped black jeans.

“And I’m the greatest, yeah!” Willie sang.

As the play went on, it became clear Willie never spoke, she only sang. It also became clear she was, first and foremost, a girl.

Everyone was confused when Willie declared L’Manberg to be guys only, along with what was supposed to be a sick guitar solo, but ended up making everyone want to claw their ears off.

Actor-Punz, Actor-Sapnap, and Actor-George never had any lines.

The Final Control Room was filled with exaggerated reactions to Actor-Eret’s betrayal.

“This… this was never wont to be!” Actor-Eret laughed.

“No! I trusted you, Eret!” Actor-Tommy screeched, as he rolled around on the ground.

“How could you, how could you, how could you!” Willie sang.

“I thought you respected me!” Actor-Fundy wailed.

“I thought we were friends, Eret!” Tubbo cried melodramatically, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Ha!” Actor-Dream yelled, waving his sword around absurdly. “This’ll teach you to not BOW TO ME!”

The lights flashed various colors, and there was a swelling in the music as Willie, Actor-Tommy, Actor-Tubbo, and Actor-Fundy flopped to the ground.

“We have taken one canon life from each of them!” Actor-Dream yelled, walking over and high-fiving Eret.

“You know, if I could do that again, I would not have betrayed you,” Eret murmured. “After that, all Dream did is take advantage of me and force me to do what he said and then throw me away like I was nothing. You guys would have stood by me if I stood by you.”

“That’s such a nice thing to say, Eret!” Ghostbur said.

“I still don’t like you,” Tommy muttered.

The end of the war was very anticlimactic. Actor-Tommy flew back up to the rafters, grabbed the discs, and flew back down.

“I will give them to you, Dream,” Actor-Tommy sniffled, “if you grant L’Manberg independence!”

“Deal!” Actor-Dream yelled. Actor-Dream and Actor-Tommy shook hands, and Actor-Tommy gave the discs to Dream.

Actor-Dream, Actor-Eret, Actor-Sapnap, Actor-George, and Actor-Punz walked to the side of the stage while Actor-Tommy, Actor-Tubbo, Actor-Fundy, and Willie started celebrating on center stage.

Willie started singing about her grand plans for L’Manberg while Actor-Tommy, Actor-Tubbo, and Actor-Fundy started jumping around and screaming.

The lights went out as a scene change happened.

Dream introduced Quackity, Schlatt, Technoblade, Niki, and Ponk.

Actor-Quackity walked onstage, made a couple terrible jokes in Spanish, then walked offstage. Quackity yelled angrily in Spanish, probably that he didn’t always speak in Spanish.

Actor-Schlatt walked on and took center stage. “Good morning, everyone!” Actor-Schlatt said. “I am jschlatt, but I’d like you all to call me Schlatt. I’m hearing about this L’Manberg place, and I think I’m going to go check it out! See you there! Schlatt2020!” With that, Actor-Schlatt walked offstage.

“Tommy, why is Schlatt playing himself?” Tubbo asked. “Because that is Schlatt. That actor has him pinned!”

Actor-Niki and Actor-Ponk just waved at the audience. Niki looked a little upset. Fundy put his arm around her comfortingly.

Actor-Technoblade, however, was something. He ran onstage, fake-punched Actor-Dream, who screamed and ran offstage, and then walked downstage, hefting a giant crossbow over his shoulder. Fireworks shot out of hidden dispensers, creating miniature explosions all over the theater.

“I AM TECHNOBLADE, THE ARSONIST ANARCHIST!” Actor-Technoblade hollered. “I WILL DESTROY ALL GOVERNMENTS!” He fired an arrow into the crowd, then shot the lights. Literally.

______________________________

There was a brief intermission while the stage crew changed the lights.

“This play is amazing,” Techno said. “Just amazing.”

“Is it really accurate?” Ghostbur asked.

“Well, Schlatt is, but I’m the best part,” Techno said.

“Really? You’re kind of… intense,” Fundy said.

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t have cast it any other way!” Techno said.

They went through the election, where the most interesting part was Willie trying (and failing) to hit a really high note.

“Tommy…” Ghostbur said. “Were we really banished from L’Manberg? Did this really happen?”

“No,” Tommy said instantly. “Not at all.”

“He’s in denial, isn’t he,” Dream said.

Pogtopia had the theater being completely dark, with only a fake fire for light.

Actor-Tommy cried a lot.

Willie sang a lot.

Actor-Techno yelled a lot.

Every time Techno left the stage, he shot the lights. The effect was ruined after the first twelve times.

Wilbur’s villain arc was… short. Willie walked onstage, dressed in all black with a large trench coat. She strummed her guitar.

“Schlatt has taken my country,” Willie sang. It was clear she was trying to be menacing, but the singing completely ruined it. “And that makes me sad. So if I put in bluntly, that makes me bad!”

Ghostbur tilted his head in confusion, while everyone roared with laughter.

“Is this… really what happened?” Ghostbur asked, sounding upset.

Tubbo looked over at Ghostbur. “Well… Am I ten years old?” He laughed nervously. Ghostbur still looked upset, but he didn’t press the point.

“What’s happening now? Oh, it’s a play!” Drista’s voice came again. “Dream, can I please watch?”

“If you don’t interrupt,” Dream replied.

“I’ll be quiet,” Drista promised. Then, “Is that Tommy who’s ten?”

“NO!” Tommy yelled.

“It-it’s actually me,” Tubbo said. “Don’t worry, Tommy’s five.”

“No I am not!” Tommy yelled.

“Child!” Drista yelled.

Actor-Schlatt announced the festival. Actor-Fundy and Actor-Tubbo started setting up.

The festival was only partially accurate. Willie spent the entire time sitting in a corner, wailing in a soprano voice that she couldn’t find the button. Actor-Schlatt loudly claimed that Actor-Tubbo was a traitor, and shouted for Actor-Technoblade. Actor-Tubbo started crying and flopped to the floor. Actor-Techno stormed onstage, the fireworks firing again.

“DID SOMEONE CALL FOR SOME CHAOS?!” Actor-Techno bellowed.

“Kill the traitor!” Actor-Schlatt yelled.

“KILL YOU ALL!” Actor-Techno screamed in return.

“Wait, what?” Actor-Schlatt said. He turned and ran. Actor-Techno shot him with the crossbow. Actor-Schlatt fell to the ground just before he got offstage. Actor-Techno shot the crossbow like crazy, “killing” lots of people. Actor-Tubbo somehow wound up on the floor, “dead”, and no one saw him get hit at all.

Drista laughed through the entire thing.

Actor-Tommy, Actor-Techno, and Willie were the only ones who survived the chaos and carnage.

“NOOOOO!!!!!!” Actor-Tommy screamed. “HOW COULD YOU, TECHNO? NOW TUBBO’S - Tubbo’s -” He fell to his knees, crying.

Ghostbur sniffled. Everyone looked at him. “Sorry,” Ghostbur said. “This is just so sad.”

Actor-Tubbo gasped, gave a little jerk, and sat up.

“SEE? HE’S FINE!” Actor-Techno screeched.

“Tubbo!” Actor-Tommy said happily. “I thought he- I thought you-”

“Don’t worry, Tommy,” Actor-Tubbo said. “I still have one canon life left!” Actor-Tommy and Actor-Tubbo shared a hug.

The audience “awwww”-ed. Ghostbur was one of them. Then Actor-Techno ruined the moment by shooting the lights AGAIN.

When the lights were fixed, Actor-Tommy was digging a hole.

“This will be my intimidation hole!” Actor-Tommy screeched.

“What’s that?” Angelic music played, and an eleven-year-old girl was lowered from the ceiling on wires, outlined by lights. The effect was kinda pog.

“Ohhhhh, yeeeeessssss,” Drista said triumphantly.

“Who are you?” Actor-Tommy asked.

“My name is Drista, child!” Actor-Drista said. Real Drista made a snorting noise as she struggled to keep her laughter in.

“How are you flying?” Actor-Tommy asked.

“I have power, child, power you shall never hold!” Actor-Drista said.

It soon became clear the writers were sucking up to Drista, as she was without a doubt epic. She cleared Actor-Tommy’s hole in less than a second, formed an Intimidation Tower for him in another second, then flew back up into the rafters.

It also became clear that for some reason Actor-Tommy had a crush on Drista. Tommy denied it, while Drista laughed in the background.

Then, Actor-Eret came on, and talked about how he must win, and he was throwing his support behind Pogtopia.

Actor-Dream stepped out, and showed everyone he had been listening. He effectively dethroned Actor-Eret, passing the title to Actor-George. Who was missing. While Actor-Dream searched for Actor-George, Actor-Eret slipped away.

The next scene, Actor-Schlatt and Actor-Quackity were dismantling some building.

“Thanks again for the help, Quackity,” Actor-Schlatt said. “We can build an office building or something here!”

“¡No! ¡Odio esto! ¡Terminé contigo y cómo me tratas! ¡Voy a matarte!” Actor-Quackity yelled in a bad accent.

“I’m sorry, what?” Actor-Schlatt said, turning to Actor-Quackity. Actor-Quackity punched him. Actor-Schlatt flopped to the ground, and Actor-Quackity ran offstage.

Everyone found this hilarious, except Quackity, who was still annoyed he only spoke in Spanish.

The finale was surprisingly, actually, kind of pog. Willie, Actor-Tommy, Actor-Tubbo, Actor-Techno, Actor-Niki, Actor-Quackity, Actor-Eret, and Actor-Fundy ran onstage. Actor-Schlatt ran offstage. Actor-Dream, Actor-Sapnap, Actor-Punz, and Actor-Ponk closed in front of him.

Willie slipped offstage. Actor-Fundy and Actor-Quackity ran after Actor-Schlatt. Actor-Tommy, Actor-Tubbo, Actor-Techno, Actor-Niki, and Actor-Eret started fighting Actor-Dream, Actor-Sapnap, Actor-Punz, and Actor-Ponk. Well, everyone guessed it was supposed to be a fight. It was mainly people hitting each other with sticks and chasing each other around the stage. Eventually they all ran offstage. Luckily Actor-Techno forgot to shoot the lights, he was too busy screaming bloody murder at the Dream Team.

Actor-Schlatt then ran onstage, followed by Actor-Quackity and Actor-Fundy.

“Stop, Schlatt! You’ve lost!” Actor-Fundy yelled.

“¡No te haremos daño si te detienes ahora!” Actor-Quackity yelled. Everyone looked confused.

“Flatty patty!” Actor-Schlatt yelled over his shoulder, before he stopped running and fell, face-forward, onto the ground.

“Did… did Schlatt just… die?” Ghostbur asked.

“You know, it was really unclear,” Niki said.

“Schlatt is dead!” Actor-Fundy announced.

“¡Deberíamos decirle al Dream Team que perdieron!” Actor-Quackity said.

“We should go tell the Dream Team they lost!” Actor-Fundy said to Actor-Quackity.

“Eso es lo que acabo de decir,” Actor-Quackity muttered, sounding upset.

Actor-Fundy and Actor-Quackity ran offstage. Actor-Schlatt got up and ran off after them. Willie walked onstage, dragging a large panel covered in buttons.

“Welcome to my button room!” Willie sang. “This is where I spell your doom!” Willie started to sing a long song about how L’Manberg just wasn’t the same anymore.

“Willie,” a voice came over the speakers. Philza groaned.

“Oh no, that’s me, isn’t it,” he moaned.

Willie gave an exaggerated jump. “Father!” She sang.

“Where are you right now, Willie? I don’t want my dear little adopted son Technoblade to get hurt,” Actor-Philza said.

“I am in L’Manberg,” Willie sang. “Perfect ‘Blade is fine!”

“Uh huh,” Actor-Philza said. “In L’Manberg. And Techno isn’t about to get hurt.” A man cosplaying some anime character that definitely wasn’t Kisuke Urahara walked onstage.

Willie turned around and gave another exaggerated jump. Ghostbur leaned forward.

“Oh Father!” Willie sang. “I did not expect to be seeing you there!” Willie pulled out her guitar and started playing.

“Don’t do it, Willie,” Actor-Philza begged. “You don’t have to hurt my boy, Techno.”

“This dream… so precious… and it was just a dream,” Willie sang. “I have bad experiences with Dreams!” She winked at the audience. “This was never wont to be!” Willie pressed a button on her board. The lights flashed out.

When the lights came back on, Actor-Tommy, Actor-Tubbo, Actor-Techno, Actor-Niki, and Actor-Eret were still “fighting” Actor-Dream, Actor-Sapnap, Actor-Punz, and Actor-Ponk. Then, Actor-Quackity and Actor-Fundy ran onstage.

“Everyone, listen up!” Actor-Fundy yelled.

“¡Schlatt está muerto!” Actor-Quackity yelled.

“Schlatt is dead!” Actor-Fundy yelled.

“¡Eso es lo que acabo de decir!” Actor-Quackity moaned.

“You’ve lost!” Actor-Fundy said, pointing at Actor-Dream. “Lay down your weapons and we will-” The lights flickered out. Then, there was a loud boom as Actor-Techno shot the lights again for absolutely no reason.

The curtains swept across the stage, ending Act 1 in a swirl of confusion.

“What just happened?” George asked.

“I have no idea,” Tommy said.

“I love this play,” Drista said dreamily.

The second act was, without a doubt, absolutely terrible. It was almost like the writers had no idea what was supposed to happen. Everyone was very bored. The most interesting part was when Dream and George went on a date.

“What?’ When did that happen?” Tommy yelled.

“Keep to the canon!” Fundy yelled.

“Er,” George said.

“Don’t react, don’t react, don’t react,” Dream muttered. “We aren’t in a relationship. At all.”

Niki giggled. “This is so cute,” she said. Drista laughed with her.

Finally, finally, finally, Act 2 ended with Actor-Dream threatening to give Actor-Tubbo a boo-boo.

Then Actor-Tommy protested, and Actor-Dream took them to his hidden room. It was anti-climatic, as Actor-Tommy and Actor-Tubbo cried together in a corner while Actor-Dream monologued about all his great plans for the Dream SMP.

Then everyone walked onstage. Actor-Tommy grabbed a sword from Actor-Ranboo and ran over to Actor-Dream, killing him twice. Then he chased Actor-Dream around the stage, until Actor-Dream finally admitted he could bring people back to life. Actor-Sam escorted him offstage.

The intermission was greeted with cheers.

“I wasn’t as chaotic this time around,” Techno said, upset.

“This play is terrible,” Tubbo moaned.

“This play is amazing!” Drista said.

Everyone returned to the theater for the third and final act, and this was where the play really took a bad turn.

Actor-Tubbo made an igloo he declared to be Snowchester. Everyone forgot L’Manberg ever existed.

Actor-Tommy visited Dream, with Actor-Ghostie (Ghostbur, but Willie, who popped up all of a sudden to everyone’s confusion) acting as moral support.

Actor-Sam made it abundantly clear he was serious and had no sense of humor.

Actor-Karl time-traveled? He sat down, made weird meditation noises, then announced he had just visited the future.

Actor-Ranboo was sleeping and woke up and told the audience he had a bad Dream.

Actor-Tommy discovered his love of the Riptide enchantment.

Actor-Ranboo is denied entry to the prison.

The Eggpire members make a bunch of stuff.

Actor-Tommy throws a temper tantrum at Actor-Sam Nook, and the play is caught up to the present.

“Well, that’s everything,” Tommy said, standing up.

“Tommy, sit down,” Philza said. “The play’s not over yet.”

“Huh? But it is over,” Tubbo added. “Unless this is… the future?”

“Karl, were you part of the writing?” Niki asked.

“Do I look like an idiot to you? Of course not,” Karl said. Everyone settled down again, although this time it was with a little more gravity.

Everyone watched with bated breath as the Eggpire slowly annexed more and more of the Dream SMP.

When they took control of the prison, they threw Dream into an enclosed space with the egg.

Eventually, the majority of the actors stood onstage (the notable exceptions being Tommy, Tubbo, Ghostbur, and Fundy).

“We have almost the entire Dream SMP under our control,” Actor-Bad announced.

“All that’s left is to take Tubbo’s cute little Snowchester,” Actor-Skeppy added.

The actors fake-marched to Snowchester. Actor-Tommy, Actor-Tubbo, Actor-Fundy, and Ghostie stood in front of Actor-Tubbo’s igloo, defending it.

“You are now going to join the Eggpire,” Actor-Ant announced.

“Never!” Actor-Tommy screeched.

“Snowchester is independent!” Actor-Tubbo sniffled.

“You will never prevail!” Ghostie sang.

“You don’t respect me, but they do!” Fundy cried.

The fight was brief. Ghostie, Actor-Fundy, Actor-Tommy, and Actor-Tubbo were finally dragged away to join the possession.

“We have done it!” Actor-Ant yelled.

“Snowchester is ours!” Actor-Bad added.

“The Eggpire will rule forever!” Actor-Skeppy said.

The play ended.

The audience cheered.

Everyone was sickened.

“I wish I stayed in prison,” Dream muttered.

“Don’t say that!” George said.

“He’s right, though,” Tommy said. “That play was terrible.”

“It was the worst,” Drista agreed.

“Absolutely crap,” Techno said.

“But… was all of that… did everything… really happen?” Ghostbur asked.

“No, Ghostbur, none of that really happened,” Fundy said.

“All fake,” Sapnap added.

“None of it’s in my memory book,” Ranboo said. “And to be clear, this won’t be going in.”

Everyone laughed, and it was ok. Sort of. Ghostbur was certain he wasn’t a girl.