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“I’m going to fix this,” said Tony, more to himself than anyone else because there weren’t a lot of people left to hear him. “I’m going to make this better.”
“You can’t fix this,” snapped Rocket, glaring at the human because he just didn’t get it. “You can never fix this! I just saw my best friend die for the second time. There’s no coming back from that.”
Tony looked away from the spot where Peter had disappeared for the first time in almost an hour. Rocket felt something akin to fear and awe from the look in the man’s eyes.
“Watch me,” snarled Tony before he got up and stormed to the ship.
This was not how it was going to end. He was not going to lose Peter this way. As he kicked the ship in anger, he had to fight his thoughts from going back to Earth and all the people probably gone. Pepper was probably gone because Tony didn’t deserve nice things. Of course he would be the one to stay. Peter had done nothing to deserve his fate but still Tony was the one standing at the end.
“It’s not the end,” muttered Tony. “I just need that gauntlet.”
“I’m sorry,” said Quill.
Tony turned and saw the man standing a few yards away, looking down. Rocket were nowhere to be seen.
“If I hadn’t lost it, if I had just waited, then he wouldn’t had the gauntlet and none of this would have happened.”
“And if Thanos hadn’t been such a dick, obsessed with saving a universe that didn’t need saving, then none of this would have happened,” said Tony, more calmly than he felt. “And if Strange hadn’t given up the Time Stone, none of this would have happened. And if Loki had just one more trick up his sleeve then none of this would have happened. And if I had just been a bit quicker, none of this would have happened. And if Steve Fucking Rogers would have just listened to me the first time I told him something was coming, none of this would have happened!”
Quill’s eyes widened. By the end of his speech, Tony was shouting to the sky. The billionaire wasn’t directing the anger at Quill, he could tell, but he was still screaming.
“The point is, Quill,” said Tony, taking a few deep breathes and coming back to himself. “You can’t blame yourself for Thanos being insane. At least, therapy says that. I don’t know, I still blame myself for a lot, so dibs on this too I guess. You can’t just come in and steal my thing. Self hatred is like my second most defining personality trait.”
Quill blinked.
“Wait, did you say Steve Rogers? Like, Captain America?” said Quill, wanting to address the bigger issue of how losing his temper did indeed ensure that half the population died, but being unable to bring himself to take on that guilt again – not when someone was offering him an out.
“Yeah,” snorted Tony, shaking his head. “Turns out he’s not dead. Or, at least he wasn’t when I left earth.”
“Is he a dick?” asked Quill, more for lack of anything intelligent to say.
Tony let out a surprised laugh.
“He seems like he would be a dick,” explained Quill. “I mean, I’m all for righteous anger – clearly – and fighting for the little guy, but Captain America always seemed a bit too much like a loose cannon. I mean, didn’t the guy get his career kicked off by going against orders and launching a one man rescue on an enemy base for his best friend? Didn’t they also tell him to land the plane somewhere and he decided, ‘Naw, I’m gonna just crash it in the ice instead. Much better plan.’”
“I think we’re going to get along just fine,” responded Tony, wiping a tear from his eye.