Chapter Text
A Bird, came down the Walk -
He did not know I saw -
He bit an Angle Worm in halves
And ate the fellow, raw,
And then, he drank a Dew
From a convenient Grass -
And then hopped sidewise to the Wall
To let a Beetle pass -
He glanced with rapid eyes,
That hurried all abroad -
They looked like frightened Beads, I thought,
He stirred his Velvet Head. -
Like one in danger, Cautious,
I offered him a Crumb,
And he unrolled his feathers,
And rowed him softer Home -
Than Oars divide the Ocean,
Too silver for a seam,
Or Butterflies, off Banks of Noon,
Leap, plashless as they swim.
It was late, and his patience was wearing thin.
That was not to say that forbearance was a great virtue of his, but that day things were grating him worse than usual. It was only the fact that he didn't want to snap at Erwin that kept him from acting outwardly incensed.
By all rights, the day had been a general success. You couldn’t call what they’d done an expedition — they hadn’t gone but 150 meters outside the wall, and it was only to double-check a landmark no one could pinpoint the exact position of. Rudimentary stuff. Perhaps even boring. But accidents happen, and Levi had wanted to be careful. He had enlisted one more soldier, not Special Ops quality but certainly competent, to be one more pair of eyes. For the sake of being prepared. They'd found the goddamned landmark, but the additional scout hadn't been used to their riding style and fell behind. A Titan had swiped their horse from beneath them, broken the lower half of his body. The mission's overall result did not mean he and Petra hadn't talked the extra scout through their own death. He thought it a shame that he'd been the last voice the soldier ever heard.
And now Erwin was trying to use it all as a way to say I-told-you-so.
“Levi,” he said quietly. "I think it would have proven at least somewhat useful today.”
From behind his desk, Erwin peered at him, calm but determined as ever. Levi couldn't help but think with a certain level of ire just how fixated Erwin could get on things — it was almost to his detriment. So much passion whirling around driving them forward that "passion" became too weak a word. "Obsession," maybe, was a better fit.
"You think I disagree," Levi replied evenly. He kept his eyes ahead, face impassive in a way that no longer required any effort. It didn't matter, though, because Erwin was nauseatingly adept at analyzing people and at this point could read him like an unlocked, soul-bearing diary. "You always assume I'll argue."
"I always assume you'll have reservations," Erwin corrected. "Ones I happily consider. Your judgment is crucial to most of what we do."
Levi scoffed quietly at the front of his mouth. "I'm not a crowd or a regiment on the verge of pissing itself. Quit with the flattery. You don't have to talk me into doing things your way."
"You don't have to take my suggestions just because they're mine, Levi."
Another scoff. "Yeah, I do." He leaned back in his chair, slung his arm across its back, and stretched a leg out in front of him. "You're usually right, even with all the stupid chances you take. It's not even like this idea is at your normal caliber, I'm just set in my ways."
Erwin folded his hands. "It was a fight to get Ral on the squad if I remember right. She's turned out well, I'd say."
Levi felt himself bristle. He trained his stare on an old water stain on the floor that bothered him every time he came in there. "She was too young. I don't like making the same mistake twice." Look at him, explaining himself. He still thought she ought to have put a few more years on her before Erwin offered her the promotion.
The commander dipped his head. Levi wondered if he had sense enough to feel at least a shade guilty.
"A medic," Erwin said. "One more addition and I swear I'll leave your squad to you. Just think through the benefits."
"Commander, the benefits of a trained medic on the team aren't lost on me." Levi's tone became, for the first time, clipped. "It would take a load off Petra, for one, and if Oruo manages his fourth concussion I won't have to worry about him going comatose. At least not straight away.” He paused and straightened the cuff of his sleeve. “But we’re hard to keep up with. You’re more optimistic than I thought if you believe we’ll find a doctor who’s also trained to use ODM gear, and well at that.”
Erwin let a small smile tilt his mouth, and Levi inwardly kicked himself for not making the assumption before; of course, he already had someone in mind.
Levi sighed, too tired to even remark upon it. He murmured: “Shit or get off the pot, then, Erwin.”
“She joined the Survey Corps the same time as I. She served under Hange’s command, mostly trained as a doctor. She’s been on sick leave for the past two years.”
Levi couldn’t stop his brow from lifting. Even he had to admit it was a rare thing to see a member of the scouts as seasoned as Erwin. But two years on leave?
“Why?”
“She broke her back on an expedition.”
Levi blinked. “She broke her back,” he repeated flatly, “outside the walls. And lived.” He waited for Erwin to amend the story, to admit to exaggerating — it seemed like a big deal, something he would have heard about before now.
But the commander just nodded, pensive and unhumorous. “She’s an agreeable person.” He shrugged. “Her comrades couldn’t stand to leave her.”
“‘Agreeable’ doesn’t kill Titans. You’re offering me someone who hasn’t seen combat in two years.”
“Hange can vouch for her.”
Levi gave him a look. That is some dumb shit. “If she’s so good, why is Hange letting her go in the first place? No section leader wants to give up valuable scouts. Damn poacher.”
“She’s not Hange’s scout to lose, not anymore. She’s been out too long. And I won’t mislead you, it isn’t like she’s otherworldly.” Erwin would not let his stare stray from him. “She’s a fair fighter, but what you need is her medic’s training. In fact, this is me insisting that you do.”
Levi hmphed and said nothing else. He mulled over Erwin’s words, tapped a boot against the floor, gray eyes cast down. He needed more time to consider everything, but it was clear he wouldn’t be getting it. He didn’t think a scout going on three years in the Corps could merely be described as a “fair fighter,” nevermind the fact that Erwin was relying on a technicality to get her out from under Hange’s command. Levi sneered, imagining what kind of weirdo she might be. Hange’s soldiers were always fucking weird.
He could be cordial no more. “What have you got against this woman?”
Erwin’s face did not change. “What do you mean?”
“Does she even want to join the Special Ops?” Levi’s tone was unwavering as stagnant water. Unreadable like it, too. You couldn’t discern what was beneath its steel surface. “Does she know you’re considering her?”
Erwin blinked. Watched Levi over his folded hands. “Of course she does.”
“It’s as good as a death sentence,” Levi said. He let that hang there for a beat, and then: “If you don’t know what you’re doing. If what you’re saying is true, and you’re not trying to pull one fucking over me, this medic has not been over the walls in two years. But you want her on my squad. So, what did she do to you? You haven’t even said her name.”
“Iris Lennan.”
Levi had never heard of her. “What did she do to you?”
Levi understood he was being shitty. Purposefully difficult. Honestly, he knew Erwin’s proposal was fairly reasonable. A medic for the Special Ops to act as an additional safety measure, a better chance at survival for the soldiers he directly commanded. Not exactly an offensive suggestion. Still, though . . . Levi resisted. The Special Ops squad had been Erwin’s idea, too, a way to better utilize Levi’s strength — or, whatever. Levi didn’t see it that way. A few months ago, when he realized the Corps and most of the general public had begun to call the Special Ops forces "Squad Levi," he could have been sick. He was a good fighter, so what? It might matter if the Corps had 500 of him, but they didn't. He was fast, so what? Strong. So what? One day he wouldn't be quick enough, all his nights without sleep would finally catch up, and some dumb fucking Titan would get him. End of story. Humanity's Strongest, down in one gulp.
Despite common assumptions, he was nothing but a person. Just like everyone else. He didn't want an elite squad, and he didn't want to recruit people to die.
So, yeah. Erwin had got him feeling pretty pissy.
The commander looked almost like he might smile. When Levi was at his most irritated, Erwin always seemed to be at his most amused. "Nothing. Iris and I were cadets together. She's a devoted soldier. She's put in the work, and she deserves recognition." He paused. "Your squad needs as many second chances as we can put into reserves."
Levi watched him silently. A dull throbbing had started behind his eyes and despite the office's expanse, Levi felt closed in. He sighed, scoffed at the front of his mouth, and straightened in his chair. "You're right. Do you have her file?"
Erwin's pale eyes flashed with triumph. Unmistakable. "I can have it on your desk tomorrow morning. At dawn, if you'd like."
"My idea of dawn? Or yours?"
"No later than five o'clock."
"Ugh." Levi rolled his eyes. "That's practically midday."
He got to his feet and saluted Erwin. The commander dipped his head and Levi relaxed, turned on his heel, and stalked out of the office. He closed the door quietly behind him.
Headquarters was still as a tomb. Lanterns set the corridor in warm orange light and the teal woven rug beneath Levi's boots muffled the sound of his footsteps. He thought absently of the stack of untouched paperwork he knew was waiting for him back in his own office. It was a bit past midnight, but that meant almost nothing. Levi didn't exactly operate on the basic time structure.
"He's still conversational?"
Levi's stare snapped up. A woman sat on the bench outside Erwin's door. She saluted him, straightening slightly in her seat, but kept up an easy smile. She held an unpeeled orange in her hand.There was a pleasant symmetry to her face, Levi wasn't above admitting that, and her wide eyes held a playful glint like she knew something he didn't. She was dressed in military garb and Levi noticed the Wings of Freedom ensigna on her jacket's shoulder.
"You're here for Erwin?" he asked sharply, annoyed he hadn't noticed the woman before.
"Yes, Captain." That knowing smile wouldn't fade.
Levi jerked his head. "Go."
The woman stood slowly, glancing between him and the door. Levi turned and resumed his trek down the corridor. He heard the hinges creak. Then he stopped.
"Lennan?"
"Yes, sir?"
Fucking hell. He wondered if Erwin had planned it. No, of course he had. Levi glowered over his shoulder at the woman, found her facing him with arms folded stiffly behind her back. Erwin's door was open a sliver; Levi could see the edge of the commander's desk through the crack. He narrowed his eyes.
"You'll be evaluated the day after tomorrow in a personal interview, then on the ODM course. Don't think for a moment that Erwin's recommendation guarantees you the job."
He waited for the fear to cross over her face, the tremble of her lip, the widening of her pupils . . . but she just stood there, grounded as a tree, feet set apart in a perfect stance. Stauesque. "Yes, Captain."
Levi blinked. "Hm." He eyed her for a moment more, then went on his way again, gliding on cat's feet. The hinges on Erwin's door creaked once more, and he heard it click shut again. Iris Lennan slipped inside the office, and Levi was left alone in the cold, silent hallway.