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the car crashed through the ikea window, and out stepped the whore dio with his fat fucking tits out like always.
"good driving vanilla ice i'll let you top tonight." he said as he walked through the paralyzed crowd. "what the fuck are you all staring at???"
vanilla ice followed behind, kissing the ground his lord and savior walked on.
"filthy fucking simp" dio stepped on him
"harder" vanilla ice moaned
dio walked away, going straight to where the beds were
( yeah i've never been in an ikea )
"this will be perfect for my sex dungeon" dio purred
"yes very nice lord dio, wonderful choice you've made" vanilla ice laying on top of it
"let's test it out before we take it home though~" dio pinned vanilla ice down. he moaned.
right before they were gonna have rough sex making you feel good a voice on the store's intercom interrupted them. "ladies and gentlemen we would like to announce a new rule. no homos of any kind are allowed in ikea or on the premises. we are also closing in 5 minutes have a nice day"
"damn no gay sex then :///" vanilla ice cried, his massive fucking bulge visible. he was so horny it hurt.
"it's okay shawty let's take the bed home we can fuck later" dio got up and began to exit, carrying the bed like it was weightless.
but it was too late, the store had closed. now, dio brando would have to stay here for all eternity. this was his punishment for being both gay AND british. fate is most cruel.