Archive of Our Own ^beta

“I’m not moving. Your lap is comfortable.”

Atsumu stiffens even further - he didn’t know that was possible. His muscles have been fully tensed since Kiyoomi decided to rest his head in his lap. On his left thigh to be precise, the thigh that’s still very sore from last night’s weight training.

That doesn’t even matter though. He doesn’t feel the slight ache from where Kiyoomi’s head is pressing into his muscle. What he does feel though is his warmth. Soft curls against his skin where his shorts have ridden up. Damn shorts.

When they met for the very first time Atsumu could have never thought that Kiyoomi would willingly lay his head - his face - on his skin. His sweaty skin.

But here they are, in the middle of a break during practice and Kiyoomi is actually refusing to lift his head. This is bad. This is very, very bad. Atsumu’s heart is beating out of his chest, his skin is prickling, and he knows he blushing. He could feel the heat on his face and it’s embarrassing. Humiliating even.

What is Kiyoomi even thinking? This is bad for his heart. Ah, so bad.

He glances down, eyes trailing over surprisingly long lashes that fan over pale cheeks and dark curls that just scream at him to run his fingers through them. Would Kiyoomi let him? Usually, his immediate answer would be no. But with the first simple call of ‘Omi’ something started between them during their teenage years that only grew into so much more once they started playing on the same team as adults.

Something like friendship. Atsumu has always been allowed to do more with Kiyoomi than anyone else on the team. He always thought it was because the other was tired of being annoyed by him but something changed now. Atsumu isn’t exactly sure when maybe two or three weeks ago - even before that he would call Kiyoomi and him friends. Very close friends. Maybe even best friends.

That’s what they were. Friends. He was the closest friend Kiyoomi had on the team, they spent a lot of time together - outside of practice as well. Kiyoomi goes out of his way to spend time with him so of course, they are close friends. But two or three weeks ago - things changed. Kiyoomi suddenly let him do way more than before. He sought him out whenever he could, invited him over - they started spending almost all of their time together and Kiyoomi became surprisingly clingy.

Like this.

And now, after everything that happened since then - Atsumu thinks he might be allowed to run his fingers through the other’s hair. But he restrains himself. It's for the sake of self-preservation. Otherwise, he might give himself away completely. It's already a hassle to try and not let his feelings bleed into their friendship, he doesn't have to make it harder on himself on his own.

Atsumu is sure that there doesn’t exist a single person like Kiyoomi anywhere. No one with all of the quirks he has, no one who could put such a nasty spin on a volleyball, no one that could make Atsumu’s heart race with just one look. There is just no one like him and maybe that’s why Atsumu felt so much towards the other.

Unfortunately. Liking a teammate is never good. Never. But Atsumu just couldn’t help himself.

His feelings might have even started in high school. But he was a lot more of a hormonal teenager back then. These feelings that felt so foreign in his chest when he caught dark eyes across the net, when he saw that slight frown whenever one of his serves would ricochet of Kiyoomi’s arms and out of reach for the rest of his teammates - he couldn’t quite grasp the meaning of these feelings back then.

He thought it was the thrill of a worthy opponent, the thrill of going against someone who stood on such a high level. But when none other than Sakusa Kiyoomi showed up years later and became his teammate it was only a short period of time that passed until Atsumu could identify these feelings.

And he really fought against them at first. In his defense, it didn’t seem like Kiyoomi liked him in any shape or form - it mainly felt like he just tolerated him. Or that’s what Atsumu thought. Because while he was fighting against feeling something for someone he would never have a chance with his competitive streak flared up. The more Kiyoomi pushed him away, the more Atsumu wanted to worm his way into his life. So, he basically sabotaged his own plan of getting rid of his feelings because he just refused to leave Kiyoomi alone.

He didn’t even notice that he stopped fighting against his feelings along the way. And the exhilaration he got to know during high school whenever he drew a reaction out of Kiyoomi exploded in his chest with every step he took towards the other, each step that brought him closer to Kiyoomi.

Being friends with Kiyoomi is an exhilarating feeling.

Atsumu usually likes easy friendships - he likes to surround himself with people that he instantly clicks with. If people don’t like him he doesn’t usually put in the effort to convince them otherwise. That’s what he’s always done. He doesn’t adjust to other people just to be their friend. Other people adjust to him - in private life and in volleyball too. If his spikers can’t hit his perfect sets then they will have to adjust. Atsumu doesn’t settle for anything less than perfect. In volleyball, he always strives to draw the best out of his players - of course, they have to do their best for that too.

But these small adjustments that he does do in volleyball sometimes are the only ones he makes. Outside of volleyball - Atsumu doesn’t adjust. Not to anyone.

At least that's what he thought. The difference is, Atsumu somehow doesn’t mind adjusting to Kiyoomi and his habits. Not at all. He did it even before he realized he liked the other. Hell, he even did it when he met him for the very first time in high school. Maybe unconsciously, maybe not - Atsumu has always automatically adjusted to make Kiyoomi comfortable. Right from the start. And in any situation - it wasn’t only about volleyball.

It was the way he learned to read Kiyoomi’s body language, read the expression in his eyes because putting things - especially his feelings - into words is something Kiyoomi isn’t blessed with. Not that Atsumu is either, that might be the reason why he found it so easy to read the other.

He knew what was okay, what was pushing his limits, and what was something he definitely shouldn’t do. Casual touches to Kiyoomi’s shoulder, his lower back - just fleeting brushes of his hand over the other’s clothes were met with stiffness and tension at first. But the more he did them, the easier Kiyoomi took them and now, if Atsumu squints, he could swear the other is leaning into those small touches.

Right now he definitely does. Atsumu is surprised that he’d ever say something like this - but Kiyoomi is clingy.

“Omi,” He says quietly - praying that his voice wouldn’t start shaking, “Omi we have to go back to practice now.”

The other finally lifts his head. Dark eyes meet his own and maybe this wasn’t the best idea. A little too fast Atsumu gets to his feet, ignoring the slight curse from Kiyoomi who was forced to sit up as well so his head wouldn’t hit the bench.

“Break’s over,” Atsumu laughs awkwardly and immediately jogs over to join the others at the net. He doesn’t meet Kiyoomi’s eyes for the rest of practice.

Somehow, the past two weeks have been way too hard on Atsumu’s heart. His crush on Kiyoomi is getting worse every day and the other isn’t any kind of help. Not at all - the opposite actually.

There is something going on - there is definitely something going on with Kiyoomi and Atsumu is scared to ask about it. He likes the friendship they have right now, likes that he’s the only one who’s this close to Kiyoomi, the only one who’s considered his close friend. He likes that he’s special to the other male - even if his feelings for Kiyoomi far exceed those of simple friendship he’s content with the way things are right now. There's no way he would risk losing that.

“What about Sakusa?”

At the mention of the other’s name Atsumu’s head snaps up from where he was dressing after his shower. It’s ridiculous how much he’s affected by anything about Sakusa Kiyoomi. Even if someone only mentions his name, Atsumu’s whole attention will immediately be drawn to it. And since he had the other's head in his lap this morning, he couldn't stop thinking about him for a second. His skin still tingles where curls brushed against it before - even after trying to scrub the feeling away in the shower.

He glances over to the commotion in the locker room. For a second, he catches Kiyoomi’s gaze across the room before he immediately looks away again. Those eyes are dangerous - someone should put up a warning sign or something.

“I thought Sakusa doesn’t even know what a crush is,” someone says and Atsumu’s heart lurches in his chest. What the hell is everyone talking about? Ugh, he’s always the last one out of the shower and today he didn’t even bother to try and catch up to the conversation already going on. His mind was still too preoccupied with the fact that Kiyoomi rested his head on his lap, openly, in practice, where everyone on the team could see. And he even refused to move.

But what is this talk about crushes? The words Sakusa Kiyoomi and having a crush don’t really fit in a sentence. Atsumu also thought that Kiyoomi wouldn’t even know what a crush feels like but -

“Of course, I know what a crush is,” The very object of his affection says and Atsumu stiffens. Now, this is taking an interesting turn that could potentially hurt. He takes a step closer to listen better.

“Oh!” Bokuto yells loudly, “Then - do you have a crush right now?”

Atsumu almost breaks his neck. That’s how fast he whips his head around to stare at Kiyoomi who looks - very uncomfortable in the semi-circle everyone on their team who’s still left in the locker room formed around him.

“It’s - something… like that,” Kiyoomi says slowly and that’s the moment Atsumu’s heart stops beating for a second. Something like that? Something like that? Something like a crush? What?

“What does that even mean?” Hinata complains.

Atsumu gulps - the whole locker room has fallen silent, waiting in tense anticipation for whatever Kiyoomi is going to answer.

“I’m…” Atsumu holds his breath - stiffening when Kiyoomi’s eyes meet his. They bore straight into his soul before the other says, “I’m dating someone.”

He’s what?

“Atsumu-san?”

Atsumu just hums. It’s been a few minutes since the commotion in the locker room after Kiyoomi’s shocking confession died down. The man who just wreaked havoc upon the whole team has already left a few minutes ago, bag slung over his shoulder and his indifferent expression hidden behind a mask as if nothing happened. His mind still wouldn’t wrap around it - Sakusa Kiyoomi is dating someone? That couldn’t be true, right? It just couldn’t be.

“Are you dating Sakusa-san?” Shoyo interrupts his spiraling thoughts and brings his attention back to reality. A reality which currently consists of two of his wing spikers staring at him with excitement glimmering in their eyes.

“What?” Something lurches in his chest. He wishes he’d be the one Kiyoomi meant but unfortunately - it is not him. It isn’t and he doesn’t understand. How? How does Kiyoomi manage to have a significant other without him knowing? It doesn’t make sense. “No - No, I’m not,” He shakes his head, trying to keep his facial expression in check.

“Weird,” Bokuto wonders, “I also thought it would be you. I mean - you’re the closest to Sakusa, right? Who could he be dating...”

“I have no idea,” Atsumu sighs, flinging his bag over his shoulder a little too harshly, “Really.”

“But he wouldn’t have just said that - he would have just told us to shut up...” Hinata’s voice trails off in the distance as Atsumu turns to walk away. He’s right though. Kiyoomi wouldn’t lie for the sake of being left alone - especially because of something like this.

He must have known that lying about dating someone wouldn’t get anyone to back off but instead, they would pester him even more to find out who managed to sway his heart. It doesn’t make sense. So, there has to be someone. But who?

Atsumu shakes his head again. This is ridiculous and it doesn’t make sense. Where does Kiyoomi find the time? They’re together like - all the time! They practice together, they eat together, Atsumu is over at his place almost every single day. They just don’t sleep next to each other so when…? Is it a long-distance relationship? But Kiyoomi isn’t glued to his phone - he would be if his lover wasn’t in this city, right? Did he lie after all? No. He couldn’t. Their eyes were locked when he said those words and Atsumu knows, after playing a wide array of board games with Kiyoomi Atsumu knows exactly when he lies. He knows his tell, the slight twitch of his right eyebrow - so obvious because his moles move along.

He wasn’t lying. He didn’t lie.

Kiyoomi is dating.

Atsumu rounds the last corner before stepping out in the foyer of the huge gym and there he is. Waiting outside of the glass doors. Sakusa Kiyoomi. Dark curls, his usual after practice clothes, the bag slung over his shoulder - a mask covering his face. Atsumu doesn’t even have to look to know it's hiding his usual indifferent expression.

Quickly, he hides around the corner again. Fuck - they’re always going home together. But right now, Atsumu doesn’t even know how he’s still keeping his composure but he definitely wouldn’t be able to do that if he’s faced with Kiyoomi right now. Would he break down crying? Maybe. It could happen any second now and looking at Kiyoomi’s face while knowing that there is someone that this face is loving that isn’t him might be too much right now. So far, it doesn't really feel real so it also doesn't really hurt but well, better be safe than sorry, right?

His fingers fly over the display over his phone as he writes a text and then peeks around the corner to watch how Kiyoomi takes out his phone, reads the message, and finally - ah, finally leaves. He doesn’t even look back.

Somehow that hurts a little.

You can leave without me, I’m going to Samu straight from here
Sorry for making you wait

Atsumu waits until he knows that the bus they always take has left. Only then does he walk outside, still a little paranoid of running into Kiyoomi but he’s definitely gone. The bus stop is empty.

He sighs and fishes for his phone again. Might as well actually go to Osamu. His twin picks up after the first ring - as if he knew that Atsumu would call. He probably did. “What did ya do?”

“Nothing,” Atsumu gasps offended, “I really didn’t do anything this time. I’m coming over though so ya better have onigiri ready for me when I arrive.”

“No.” The call ends.

Atsumu sighs and pockets his phone. He isn’t even in the mood to pretend to be mad at his twin, not even in the mood to play along like he usually does. A cold gust of wind blows past him and suddenly everything feels a little cold. Especially his chest.

He bites the inside of his cheek to keep his expression from falling. His feelings for Kiyoomi - he’s always known they were fruitless. From the moment, he realized that he felt more for the other man than friendship he knew that it was pointless. But he still held on, held on to the fact that even if his feelings would probably be never returned he would still be the closest person at Kiyoomi’s side.

The person who spends the most time with him, who knows him the best - the person who’s the closest to him without being part of his family.

They both have sharp edges - no one expected them to even get along but maybe it was only because of that that they grew so close. They’re both - sharp, in different ways. They’re hard to get along with, at least that’s what Atsumu heard throughout his life and he presumes it’s the same for Kiyoomi. That’s why they seemed to easily gravitate towards each other.

Best friends. That’s what they are, right? There isn’t anyone who’s this close to Kiyoomi so who… who is he dating? And why didn’t Atsumu know? He didn’t even suspect anything. Kiyoomi hasn’t acted differently. It’s been the same as always. He was still snarky sometimes, still grumpy in the morning, still quiet most of the times, and then suddenly burst with energy when Atsumu least expected it. He was still rolling his eyes when Atsumu told him a joke, still hid his smile behind his mask but Atsumu always knew it was there. He still let him close, still let Atsumu be by his side like no one else.

If he really thinks about it, the only difference is Kiyoomi's behavior towards him. But if he really started dating someone then he should put more distance between them, right? It's the only logical step. Instead, Kiyoomi became closer to him - as if he's dating Atsumu. Which doesn't make sense, Atsumu would know for sure if he was dating Kiyoomi. And he isn't so...

So, how could Kiyoomi just start dating without saying a single word to him? Without giving it away? And then he just casually tells it to the whole team as if it’s not a big deal even though he hasn’t even informed Atsumu before.

It’s not like he owes it to him… no way. They can keep secrets from each other but Atsumu thought… he just thought - what did he think? That he was a little more than special? Huh. Just because he’s Kiyoomi’s closest friend… He thought he had it all figured out but maybe there are still boundaries that protect Kiyoomi like a wall that he doesn’t know about.

Contrary to what he said there is a bunch of freshly made onigiri waiting for Atsumu when he steps into the restaurant of his brother. They’re sitting on the counter, so invitingly delicious but he couldn’t even force himself to smile. Not even his stomach rumbles at the smell.

He sighs loudly and drops down in front of his brother. It’s unfair. He slumps down, letting his right cheek press against the wood of the counter as he reaches for his food quietly. Not even the taste could cheer him up. Usually, there is nothing like his brother’s onigiri that could paint a smile on his lips but right now… He sighs again.

“Yer only here to mope or are ya gonna talk?”

Atsumus doesn’t look up into the judging eyes of his brother. He could feel his gaze boring through his head though. If he talks right now he would probably cry. He could feel it building up in his throat already. That would be kind of humiliating. Ah… he plays with his food a little longer before he turns his head so that his forehead is pressed against the counter now. “Ya know Sakusa Kiyoomi?”

There’s no way he has to look up to know that his brother is staring at him like he grew a second head. Are ya serious? is what his gaze tells him as it bores straight through his skull.

Atsumu absentmindedly plays with one single grain of rice that’s stuck to the tip of his finger. The burning behind his eyes intensifies. “He’s… dating someone.” Just saying the words send another wave of pain through his chest.

Wow - this is much more painful than he could have ever imagined. Is this real heartbreak?

“The Sakusa Kiyoomi?” Osamu asks a little in disbelief. See? No one expected Kiyoomi to suddenly have a partner out of nowhere. It doesn’t make sense.

Atsumu nods and finally peels his forehead away from the counter. There’s a grain of rice stuck to his forehead but his brother doesn’t tell him.

“Wow… who would have thought…” He says instead, sneakily stealing a picture while Atsumu is busy going through his hazy memories to find a single moment that would lead him to believe that Kiyoomi ever dropped a hint of being with someone. He doesn’t find any. “Ya still got that crush on him?”

He nods slowly. “I mean - I knew I’d never get with him but I thought that would be because he doesn’t date,” Atsumu sucks in a sharp breath, “I don’t get it. Like - we’re together all the time. He doesn’t even have the time to date someone.”

“Maybe he just said it to get everyone to stop pestering him?”

“He wouldn’t have - Omi knows how to make everyone shut up without lying,” Atsumu sighs and rubs his eyes. No tears. No crying. He’s so far above that - so far. “He’s definitely dating someone.”

“And it isn’t ya,” Osamu supplies very, very helpfully.

“And it’s not me!” Atsumu exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. This is so ridiculous. It doesn’t make any sense. “Aren’t I like his only friend? Why didn’t he ever say anything? I don’t understand!”

Atsumu stays with his brother until night has fallen. He stays until his stomach is heavy from onigiri and warm from beer. His head is just a little bit fuzzy but at least it makes him feel better about himself. He didn’t cry yet and right now he doesn’t even feel like it anymore.

That changes the second he tries and fails to put his key in at the first try. The door to the apartment next to his opens.

Great.

It’s Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Sakusa Kiyoomi and his stupid unstyled hair that looks just so soft and perfect for running your hands through it. Sakusa Kiyoomi with his stupid dark eyes, his stupid pretty mouth, and his stupid deep voice.

“Hey Atsumu,” He says and shit - that too. Around the same time, Kiyoomi began clinging to him all the time he also dropped the Miya. Atsumu doesn’t know why he suddenly decided to call him by his first name even though he refused for such a long time and then told him it just felt wrong because he always called him Miya.

How can he just start calling him Atsumu out of nowhere? And be so close to him? How dare he make his heart race like this - and still be dating someone else?

It’s unfair.

“Hi,” He replies shortly, forcing himself to stare at his keyhole instead of getting sucked into Kiyoomi’s dark eyes.

“Are you very tired?” Kiyoomi asks with such a soft voice that it makes his whole resolve melt in an instant. How can that be fair? Atsumu knows that it might not be the best idea to react to Kiyoomi’s subtle invitation.

If he says yes to his question then he gets to go into his own bed and cry a little but Kiyoomi is looking at him with his stupid dark eyes and ugh - why is his heart such a traitor? It’s not fair. He should say yes, should say he’s tired and needs sleep because Kiyoomi would understand, would let him go just like that. But -

“Not really,” is what he says instead.

“Do you wanna come over? I have the last match of the adlers.” And how could he refuse? How could he ever refuse anything that Sakusa Kiyoomi is asking him?

“Sure.”

And they sit on Kiyoomi’s couch like so many times before. The game is playing but Atsumu couldn’t really concentrate on it. His eyes couldn’t follow the ball because his entire attention is being demanded by Kiyoomi’s presence.

Who is it? Who is he dating? It’s only been like half a day since he found out about Kiyoomi’s significant other but it’s already making him lose his mind.

If he doesn’t find out who it is soon he’ll go insane.

“Omi,” He says quietly - there is just no other way, he has to ask him.

Just like this morning during practice, Kiyoomi is resting his head on his lap again. Cheek pressed into his thigh while he casually comments on the game as if he doesn’t make Atsumu almost explode with his antics. This couldn’t go on - Atsumu needs to know, needs to -

“Yeah?” Kiyoomi turns on his back to look up at him and it makes something lurch in Atsumu’s chest. Dark curls that spill over his legs, dark eyes that gently look up to him, a soft smile reserved just for moments like this between them. It feels like they're dating, like he's Kiyoomi's secret boyfriend. But that would be the best kept secret ever because literally only Kiyoomi would know about it. It's a ridiculous thought.

How could Kiyoomi date someone while he’s looking at Atsumu like this as if it’s nothing? Atsumu is so confused.

“Uhm, so -” But knowing he has to ask and actually asking are two very different things. And saying these words out loud, preparing himself for an answer he doesn’t want to hear is very hard. “Earlier today - uhm…”

Kiyoomi is only staring at him - with that gentle expression, with his soft eyes and Atsumu is… weak. He’s so weak. And Kiyoomi exploits his weakness without even knowing that he’s doing it.

He gulps - his hand is twitching to reach out and touch Kiyoomi’s face. He almost does it. Almost. “We’re pretty close, right?” He asks cautiously.

Kiyoomi moves to sit up, there isn’t an inch of space between them as Kiyoomi smiles. Their legs are pressed together on the couch and Atsumu could feel his blush rising up his cheeks. “Obviously,” He says and reaches out. His hand brushes over the blushing skin of Atsumu’s cheek. A warmth that makes his heart race, something that makes his mind run in circles as he finds himself unable to move. He even holds his breath, afraid to break the moment. “Why are you asking?”

“Ah -” Atsumu’s heart pounds out of control as he starts to panic. Kiyoomi hasn’t let go of him yet, his thumb is stroking over his cheek, catching on his bottom lip for a second and it feels a lot like Kiyoomi is about to kiss him but that’s ridiculous. But... is he leaning in? His head is moving, right? Kiyoomi's lips weren't this close to his own a second earlier. Are they going to kiss?

That's impossible though.

“It’s - nothing,” Atsumu lies. An awkward chuckle falls from his lips as he tries to look anywhere but Kiyoomi’s eyes that are so, so close. His hand is still there. Burning a mark right on his cheek. “I’ll - I’ll just go to the bathroom quickly.”

And he runs away.

He runs away because he’s a stupid coward and - and because he’s confused. What the hell is going on?

“So, did you ask him?”

Atsumu sighs - it’s still so early in the morning and he’s already been caught in the clutches of Bokuto and Hinata. Again.

“Ask who what?”

“Sakusa-san,” Hinata urges him on as if he could read their minds and is supposed to know exactly what they mean all the time. He doesn’t. “Did you ask who he’s dating?”

He shrugs off his jacket and unpacks his volleyball shoes. “Why don’t you ask him?”

Hinata settles next to him - already completely changed into his practice gear. “You’re like best friends, right?”

“So?”

“Obviously you should ask him,” Bokuto says matter of factly.

This topic again. Over and over again. Atsumu couldn’t sleep last night because he kept thinking about that moment between Kiyoomi and him. He was supposed to ask who he’s dating and instead he found himself almost being kissed by him.

At least that’s what it felt like. His face definitely came closer to his. It really did. He didn't just imagine it - it just doesn't make sense. So, he lost a precious night of sleep despairing over those few seconds. “Ah, who even cares who he’s dating?”

“So, you’re saying that you don’t wanna know who Sakusa-san is in love with?”

“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore,” Atsumu says, grabbing his shoes and leaving the locker room.

Kiyoomi is in love with someone huh?

And it’s not him. Which is - not so great. So why did he try to kiss him?

Atsumu is going to go crazy because of this whole thing.

Today Atsumu doesn’t escape having to go home with Kiyoomi again. Today they’re on the bus together and like always, Atsumu immediately moves to stand in front of Kiyoomi to shield him from the rest of the crowd. Just like he always does.

It’s packed today. They’re backed in a small corner and Atsumu finds himself unable to put his hands anywhere to hold onto something. He sways with the movement of the bus, stumbling in front of Kiyoomi from left to right until his arm is being grabbed from behind and he’s spun around.

“Just hold onto me,” Kiyoomi says, his hand still tight around Atsumu’s arm. He couldn’t see his mouth because of the mask but the crinkles around his eyes suggest yet another one of those soft smiles that Atsumu loves so much. Wait - what did he say? Hold onto him? This is - unusual and new and dangerous territory.

His heart is beating somewhere in his throat. If he refuses he's going to look like an idiot and probably fall on his face at one point. “Okay…” He says quietly. With slightly trembling fingers he reaches out and holds onto Kiyoomi’s shoulders. He could feel his warmth through his jacket and it makes his stomach swoop.

Whenever it’s packed like this he usually stands with his back to the other - it would be kind of awkward if they’re pressed together while looking at each other, right? And he’s kind of afraid that his feelings might show on his face when it’s so close to Kiyoomi’s. But it was the other who turned him around.

No matter how hard he tries, Atsumu’s eyes somehow always find Kiyoomi’s again. They’re just so close. Every time the bus rattles he knocks against Kiyoomi’s chest - it doesn’t seem to bother the other at all. He’s also still holding onto his arm so even if Atsumu wanted to, he couldn’t take a step back to bring at least a little more distance between them.

The butterflies in his stomach are going crazy.

When their stop finally rolls around it feels like an eternity has passed. Most of the passengers on the bus get off with them. As they move through the small crowd Kiyoomi’s hand closes around his own as he pulls them through the crowd. It’s - since when does Kiyoomi do that?

His heart is going crazy, his mind is basically blank and with each new thing Kiyoomi does it gets worse. His grip on his hand is tight, not uncomfortably but tight enough so that Atsumu couldn’t just slip his own hand out. He’s sure Kiyoomi could feel how much his hand is sweating but he doesn’t let go - not even when they’re the only two people on the sidewalk.

There is no crowd that could separate them, there is nothing that would justify them holding hands - but Kiyoomi doesn’t let go.

Atsumu has no idea what’s going on and at this point, he’s too afraid to ask.

Without thinking about it he follows Kiyoomi into his apartment instead of going into his own - it feels more natural to do it like this anyway. He would have come over sooner or later.

His hand still tingles. The skin that Kiyoomi touched now strangely cold after he let go of him once they were inside of his apartment. Atsumu doesn’t understand it. He has to ask now. He really has - because Kiyoomi couldn’t date someone else and then go and hold Atsumu’s hand in public like it’s nothing. He couldn't do all the stuff he's been doing because it confuses his feelings and Atsumu refuses to be left in the dark like this.

“Kiyoomi.” Somehow the sound of his full first name falls off his lips a little harsher than he intended it to.

The other male stops dead in his tracks, turning around to look at Atsumu warily.

“Are you - mad?” He asks - asks because it’s never Kiyoomi. It’s always Omi. Sometimes Sakusa when Atsumu wants to tease him but apart from these rare times, it’s always Omi. It has never been Kiyoomi. Atsumu thinks, did he ever just refer to the other male by his first name? Probably not.

He sighs, looking down at his feet because he couldn’t take watching Kiyoomi’s expression. Not when he’s asking this question right now. “No… No, I’m not mad, I’m just - confused.”

Kiyoomi doesn’t say anything to that - he just waits for him to continue, to elaborate. And Atsumu does.

He takes a deep breath, steels himself for what’s about to come, and then… then he asks him, “Well, it’s - who are ya dating?”

When a few seconds tick by without an answer he lifts his head slightly to steal a peek at Kiyoomi. What he’s seeing confuses him even more.

The other has fully turned around to face him now - it seems like he’s at a loss for words. His mouth keeps opening and closing like a fish but nothing comes out. “Now, I’m confused,” He finally forces these words over his lips.

“Why are ya confused?” Atsumu whines frustratedly. It doesn’t make sense - does he not want to tell him? Why is he confused? Atsumu is the one who’s -

“Atsumu, I’m - I’m dating you.”

What…?

“What?!” Atsumu yells flabbergasted, “Since when?!”

Maybe he just heard him wrong? No. He definitely heard him saying that he’s dating him but - but how? That makes even less sense than anything Atsumu has thought about before. Kiyoomi is still looking at him like he grew a second head or something equally disturbing. He has never seen this kind of expression on his face.

“Since - Atsumu, what do you think we’ve been doing for the past two weeks?”

Was that dating? Were they dating? Atsumu feels incredibly stupid at the moment. He would have known if they were dating, right? Like, there are two people in a relationship - you can’t just get into a relationship with someone on your own. Did Kiyoomi just decide they were dating without him knowing? What the hell is going on?

“I don’t know - being real close best friends?” Atsumu carefully says. This is so confusing - he feels like he’s been sent to some kind of alternate universe or something. That might make sense. Or maybe he hit his head and is hallucinating all of this right now. Like a coma dream.

“You confessed to me,” Kiyoomi explains slowly, “And asked me to be your boyfriend.”

Atsumu’s mind is still reeling. “When did I do that?”

“Two weeks ago.”

“Two weeks... “ Atsumu mumbles to himself, racking his brain for anything - any moment that could indicate a start of a literal relationship. Anything that could be interpreted as a confession and - oh no. No. He glances at Kiyoomi sheepishly. “… Ya mean - when I came over after the team outing?”

A short nod is all the confirmation he needs. Instantly, embarrassment makes his skin light up in a bright red color and he hides his face. A part of him wishes the floor would just open up and swallow him whole because he couldn’t take this. This is so, so humiliating. Usually, he could hold his alcohol well but that particular night - he went way past his limit. There is not a single thing he remembers from that night, only that he must have somehow found his way home, or maybe Kiyoomi came to pick him up because he woke up in the other's bed.

This should have been an indicator that something changed because Kiyoomi was also sleeping next to him. Something like that would usually never happen. Atsumu did stay over before but even when he just joked about joining Kiyoomi in his bed the other threatened to kick him out again. He always slept on the couch. But that morning he woke up with Kiyoomi's arm around his middle and - oh my god.

That was the beginning of the sudden clinginess. Atsumu didn't ask about how he ended up in his bed because he was afraid of being kicked out but now he wishes he would have. He just accepted the sudden change without daring to ask about it. Oh god...

“I can’t believe this… I confessed?” He mutters.

“Yeah…”

“Wait… wait!” Atsumu exclaims, his hands find Kiyoomi’s shoulders and he’s shaking the bewildered male slightly. “This can’t be - there is no way… Since we’re apparently dating - ya like me too?”

“Obviously,” Kiyoomi says and the expression on his face screams ‘I’m really regretting that right now, though.’

Atsumu pushes past him without a word, reaching for one of the pillows Kiyoomi keeps on his couch and then proceeds to scream into it as hard as he could. His loud voice is muffled and it also conveniently hides his face. Maybe it would even be enough to hide his humiliation. If he suffocates himself right now he wouldn't have to face this embarrassment - it seems very tempting.

“Now, I’m a little scared of you,” Kiyoomi says as soon as Atsumu doesn’t have enough air to scream anymore, “What the hell is going on?”

“Sakusa Kiyoomi,” Atsumus gasps, a little out of breath but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because he has to make this clear or else Kiyoomi might break up with him right when he just found out that they’re even dating. “I’m in love with ya,” He says as earnestly as he could.

The words feel a little foreign on his tongue. He’s said ‘I love you’ to a bunch of people before. He said it to his brother, to his teammates, to the people he was dating before - but these words, they never meant what he’s saying right now to Kiyoomi. He’s never actually said ‘I’m in love with you’ to anyone before.

Maybe because he’s never really been in love with them. He loved them but being in love feels a little different. At least to him. It’s a different feeling - something that feels so consuming that he couldn’t help but always be aware of it. The love he felt for his previous partners pales in comparison to the love he feels for Kiyoomi.

And these words have never painted such an expression on someone else's face - the expression Kiyoomi is wearing right now. Atsumu almost passes out. He’s serious, he actually feels a little light-headed as he watches a blush spreading over Kiyoomi’s usual slightly pale cheeks until it reaches the tips of his ears. He’s smiling, giddily, a giddy smile that makes his dark eyes shine brightly and - Atsumu did that.

He made him look like that. Kiyoomi is smiling, he’s blushing, he’s like this because of Atsumu. Because of what he said. He did that.

Kiyoomi is still bashful, still smiling so beautifully, and making Atsumu have a freaking heart attack when he reaches out to hold both of his hands. There’s that warmth again. Warm, long fingers around Atsumu’s hands, holding him close, holding on tight despite the way his hands are sweating.

“I know,” Kiyoomi says softly as he pulls him close, close enough for their chests to brush slightly. Atsumu doesn’t know how he’s still standing. “You already told me - two weeks ago.”

He whimpers slightly. “Omi, I’m so sorry but I don’t - I don’t remember a single thing from that night.” It’s painful to admit - and humiliating. He can’t believe it - it really couldn’t be true. How could he drink enough to completely forget the most important part of the night? Osamu is never going to let him live that down. Hell - no one is going to let him live that down.

“I figured I just somehow ended up in your apartment by myself but I have no recollection of anything from that night. But I really love ya. I do. I was just so drunk. I’m so sorry.”

And while Atsumu feels a little like he could cry from humiliation Kiyoomi just starts laughing. Oh - so, maybe it’s not all that bad and humiliating if it means Kiyoomi is going to laugh like that. Open and honest and without holding back the slightest. It’s the first time Atsumu hears his laugh without any boundaries - an unfiltered sound that makes his heart beat faster.

Even while they were close friends Kiyoomi still kept a tiny part of himself hidden. It was especially noticeable in his laughter - Atsumu could see that he was holding back with it. He never seemed to trust him enough to just let completely loose, to let go of his last bit of control. And what he's hearing right now, the sound of Kiyoomi's true laugh - a smile on his lips that he's never seen before, something that draws lines over his face, that makes him even look a bit silly... Atsumu is just mesmerized.

He’s really in love with him. There’s no denying it.

“You only seemed slightly tipsy at most,” Kiyoomi gets out through his laughter.

It feels like the world has stopped moving around them - it’s just them between time and space. Just them and Atsumu’s wildly beating heart. Or maybe it’s Kiyoomi’s? He could feel it hammering against his ribs from where their chests are brushing against each other.

“I get that - I’m not a messy blackout drunk,” Atsumu whispers and he finally gives in to the urge of touching Kiyoomi. Slowly, he trails his finger over the soft skin of his cheek, not pressing hard - afraid Kiyoomi might fade away from under his fingertips. “Are ya still going to be my boyfriend?”

Kiyoomi smiles gently as he leans into his touch. A cat. He looks a little like a cat as he nuzzles into Atsumu’s hand that came to rest on his still blushing cheek.

“Maybe if you ask me again.”

Atsumu smiles - so wide that it makes his cheeks hurt. “Will ya be my boyfriend?” He even bats his eyelashes suggestively trying to convince Kiyoomi, “Pretty please?”

“You’re so stupid,” The other laughs, “I can’t believe I was dating you on my own - oh my god.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Atsumu really is - so sorry that he could probably cry if it weren’t for the unfiltered way Kiyoomi keeps laughing. “You’re so lucky that I like you so much.” He really is. Atsumu’s stomach flips and he holds onto Kiyoomi tighter, fists his other hand into the front of his shirt because he never wants to let go of him again. He wishes this moment could last forever - a moment where it's just them without the rest of the world around them.

“I’ll date ya for real now,” He earnestly proclaims before he’s once again reminded of having to tell everyone of this humiliating experience. “Ah - ya know how embarrassing it’s going to be to tell Samu that I was dating ya all along after crying to him because ya were dating someone who wasn’t me.”

This time Atsumu laughs along with Kiyoomi - saying it out loud sounds just as ridiculous as it is. Kiyoomi pulls him towards the couch while they keep laughing, keeps smiling while not letting go of each other. They settle close to each other, this time Atsumu doesn’t wonder why there isn’t any kind of space between them. Knees pressed together, the warmth of their tights seeping through their pants, hands holding onto each other without the intention of letting go.

Atsumu is still holding onto his cheek when he shyly glances up at Kiyoomi. His boyfriend Kiyoomi. Boyfriend. The boyfriend whom he’s been dating for two weeks apparently.

“Omi…” If he considers the last two weeks as being in a relationship already Atsumu shouldn’t really feel all that nervous but he couldn’t help himself. He avoids Kiyoomi’s eyes as his gaze slips down towards the other’s soft lips. “Since we’re boyfriends… can I kiss ya, then?”

Soft lips pull into a small smile. “I was wondering why you always turned away when I tried before,” Kiyoomi whispers into the decreasing space between them, his words almost brush against Atsumu’s lips already, “Now I get it.”

Another apology is already at the tip of his tongue when Kiyoomi bridges the small distance between them and presses their lips together.

It’s something Atsumu never really dared to even dream about before. The fluttering press of Kiyoomi’s lips, trembling fingers holding onto his own. It feels like the world around them started moving faster the moment their lips met while the two of them stopped. Stuck in time while everything else around them moved as if nothing is happening.

Atsumu’s heart pounds in his throat while his knees grow weak. It’s good that he isn’t standing because he wouldn’t have been able to keep his balance anyways. Even right now, only the feeling of Kiyoomi’s lips against his own, his hand intertwined with his own, and the other one entangled in the short hairs at the back of his neck keep him upright. Otherwise, Atsumu might melt, melt into a gooey, messy puddle. He would melt right into Kiyoomi’s warmth.

It’s just a simple kiss.

But with Sakusa Kiyoomi, everything always feels different. Even as Atsumu has to break away to catch his breath for a second, kissing Kiyoomi certainly felt like taking in a real breath for the first time in his life.

“Atsumu,” Kiyoomi presses his name against his lips while Atsumu is still gasping for air. He’s pressing the quiet, raw emotions encapsulated by the simple call of his name into Atsumu’s being as if he’s never done anything else.

“I love you,” He says into the kiss or maybe he doesn’t but Atsumu feels the words in the way Kiyoomi kisses him. In the way, he holds onto his sweaty hand, tight, as if he never wants to let go. Kiyoomi writes the words on the back of his head with gentle fingers that scrape through his hair. Atsumu feels the words when Kiyoomi’s tongue brushes against his lips and ignites a fire under his skin.

Atsumu has kissed a lot of people before - and none of them were Sakusa Kiyoomi. None of them felt like this, made him feel like this.

Where did Kiyoomi learn to kiss like that?

Well, it doesn’t matter - Atsumu would do everything so that he’ll be the only one getting kissed by Kiyoomi for the rest of their life.

“Tsumu -” Atsumu has barely settled down to finish changing in the locker room when Bokuto and Hinata are surrounding him once again, somehow this feels strangely familiar. “Did you ask him?”

Atsumu sheepishly glances towards both of them - actually, half of the team is gathered around him. Everyone’s impatiently waiting for Atsumu to answer the one million dollar question. This is going to be embarrassing. He sighs. The man in question, Kiyoomi, is already in the gym warming up. He did claim that he needs the extra time to warm up his super flexible body but Atsumu is sure he just doesn't want to be the center of attention once he reveals their relationship to the team.

“Well, the thing is,” Atsumu scratches the back of his head sheepishly, “Omi is dating me.”

“What?!”

Somehow Kiyoomi manages to distract everyone from the fact that Atsumu is his “secret” boyfriend by being extremely clingy and baffling everyone by how affectionate he could be during practice. By some kind of miracle, they escape without Atsumu having to admit to being a big fucking idiot. At one point he will have to tell everyone that his alcohol consumption is to blame for the fact that he does not remember confessing and getting together with Kiyoomi for the first time. But maybe he doesn't have to say these embarrassing words himself.

The second his brother knows everyone else will know anyway - if not because of Osamu telling them then because his twin told Suna and Suna never wastes an opportunity to roast Atsumu. He’ll hear about this story until the day he dies - probably.

When they get on the bus home Atsumu faces Kiyoomi of his own accord, caging the slightly taller male in with his arms as an excuse to shield him from the other people. It's totally not to just stand as close to possible to his boyfriend. Even with the mask in the way Atsumu knows that there’s a giddy smile on Kiyoomi’s lips.

There’s this urge to just pull down his mask and kiss him right here, right now but he restrains himself.

Automatically, their hands find each other when they step off the bus. Technically, they’ve been dating for over two weeks but for Atsumu it’s been only a day - it still feels like they’ve been doing this forever though.

He doesn’t even have to think about which apartment he’ll enter as he waits for Kiyoomi to fish out his keys. When the other finally pulls down his mask Atsumu tugs on his jacket and connects their lips in a short, chaste kiss.

“Love ya,” He whispers.

Just as Kiyoomi opens his mouth to reply Atsumu’s phone starts ringing. He would have hung up on the person if it weren’t his twin’s name flashing over his display. His stomach drops as a cold shiver runs down his spine.

Kiyoomi is already cackling at him as he leads them into the living room. With a pained expression, Atsumu accepts the call and doesn’t even get the opportunity to say something first. “I’ve always know ya were stupid but I didn’t know ya were this stupid.”

“Please don’t -”

“I’ve already told Suna.”

Kiyoomi just laughs at the suffering expression taking over his face.

Well, as long as Kiyoomi is his boyfriend all the teasing might actually be not that bad.

“Love you too,” Kiyoomi mouths.