Work Text:
Deep sigh, he must really be out of his mind. Just because Chuuya expressed how he wanted a dog, does not mean that Dazai should buy or get one.
“Atsushii-ku~un”, he called out, as he walked in the office, heading straight to the sofa.
“Yes Dazai……san?”, Atsushe wearily responded without as much as glancing over Dazai.
“I have a ve~ry important job for you!”, Dazai exclaimed with his hands clasped together. Eyes full of mischief.
“But Dazai-san”, Atsushi is immediately cut off by a flying stapler, hitting Dazai’s face.
“YOU DAMNED RESOURCE WASTING BANDAGE MACHINE, STOP BOTHERING PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY WORKING”, Kunikida yelled from his seat, smoke coming out of his nose. He resumed to aggressively typing on his laptop.
“But but, Atsushii-kuun”, Dazai with his over-dramatic way of slinging himself on the sofa, “You are the only one I can ask for this very special job!”
Atsushi is about to protest, given that he has lots of paper works to do, courtesy of his own mentor, when he heard the clacking of Yosano-sensei’s shoes on their wooden floor.
”Atsushi, you don’t have a choice”, she said as she disdainfully glanced at Dazai, who is now silently being absorbed by the sofa. Atsushi sighed, he stood up and went near Dazai.
“What is it Dazai-san?”, tiredness evident from his voice. The speed that Dazai did when he stood up, is something that Atsushi has never seen before.
“Well, you see, there’s a box just outside the Agency door”, Dazai pointed at the door, and smiled at Atsushi. His mentor’s expression suddenly turned grim, “It is something that the Port Mafia has been searching for, for weeks now”.
Atsushi felt all his body hair stand up with the implication that the Port Mafia could be at the end of their wits searching for the thing that his mentor has been hiding(?) He shivered just from the thought of seeing Akutagawa. “You want me……to bring that back to…the Port Mafia?”, Atsushi asked, obviously hoping that Dazai will take back what he said.
“Yes, but not just to the Mafia, no no no”, Dazai shook his head as well as his index finger. “You must deliver it to Akutagawa-kun, and ask him to bring it to Nakahara Chuuya!”, that’s it. This is a prank, another act to spite the gravity manipulator of the mafia.
“Are you just trying to prank Nakahara-san?”, he inquired with his voice full of doubt.
Dazai feigned surprise and responded, “You see, Atsushi, it is a top secret that only mafia executives are allowed to know”. Dazai started shoving him outside, “And remember Atsushi-kun, don’t ever open it, it is quite, deadly”
Atsushi found a large box just beside the Agency door. He’s creeped out by his mentor’s warning. When he tried to lift the box, he felt the weight is uneven. Bolts of shock ran through his body by the though that /WHAT IF IT’S A BODY INSIDE?/ or worse, /WHAT IS IT’S JUST A PART OF BODY? A HEAD??/ , Atsushi swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. He stalked towards the Mafia territory. As he was on his way, he felt the box move slightly, and he can hear faint sounds of whining. His face paled as he walked faster.
Luckily for him, he saw Akutagawa rightaway, hiding under a shade. He hurriedly called out to him, “Akutagawa! Hurry!”, unfazed, the mafioso relaxedly moved.
“Dazai-san said that there will be an important package, I can’t believe he entrusted it to you”, he saw the man roll his eyes but it’s none of his concern anymore. The box was moving earlier and he heard whines, the sooner he hands it to Akutagawa, the better. He lightly shoved the box towards Akutagawa, scared that any sudden force may trigger something inside. “Dazai-san said to deliver it to Nakahara-san, and we must not look”, Atsushi weakly said, with the same creepy tone that Dazai used.
Akutagawa lightly shook the box, and when it moved against his hand, he stilled, then he turned around rightaway and speedwalked to the building. Akutagawa can hear faint breathing inside, he has the urge to open the box but he received the warning from Dazai earlier about no one is allowed to open it other than Chuuya.
He knocked three times, then he entered Chuuya’s office. Curiosity peering at his face. “Chuuya-san, this is a package from you-know-who”, he slowly put the box on Chuuya’s table.
Chuuya eyed the box as he sent the bastard a text.
MACKEREL
Istg, if this is shit, I am going to skin you alive!
He received a winking emoji back as a reply, he moved to inspect the box. There are small holes poke at its side, he looked at Akutagawa, as the younger male took a few step backs. Chuuya listened carefully, and his heart did a flip when he heard something.
“Akutagawa, you may leave,close the door”, he ordered, eyes hidden under his hat.
Akutagawa didn’t hesitate and just walked as quickly as possible. He closed the door behind him, and he walked away. Hoping to gods that Dazai survive whatever Chuuya is going to do to him.
“YOU FUCKING MACKEREL!”, Chuuya yelled to the phone, clutching what he found in the box.
“Chibi, you’re so loud, I can already imagine the complains from the neighbors~”, he heard Dazai said, he chose to ignore the snide comments, there are more important things right now.
“I don’t care bastard, OH MY GOD HE’S SO ADORABLE!”, Chuuya gushed as he brought the puppy to his cheeks, nuzzling the fluffiness.
“Gwueh, you really have no taste”, Dazai replied.
“Whatever Mackerel, I’m hanging up”, Chuuya said in a hurry as he’s already struggling to hold the puppy with one hand. “Hurry up home, help me set up the stuff for our new baby!”
Dazai rolled his eyes and bid his goodbye, “fine fine, he can’t stay in our room, I love you”
“I love you too”, that’s the last he heard from Chuuya before the call was ended.
Atsushi just got back, looking more done than ever. Dazai skipped towards him, and gave him a pat on his head, “You did great Atsushi-kun!”. Dazai somehow felt a bit nice from the compliment, but it doesn’t change the fact that he might just had handled something /deadly/. He just slumped on his seat when he received a message:
AKUTAGAWA RYUU
It’s a fucking puppy.
I’ll be late for dinner, Chuuya-san just left early to buy stuff for the puppy.
And Atsushi never felt so drained in his life. He mentally cursed his weretigerness for not realizing or sensing that what he was so scared of earlier, is something that can be considered as small, harmless, cute and affectionate creature. He looked around, and saw that his mentor is happily humming his usual suicide song.
/a freaking puppy/
ADDITION:
Chuuya is so happy with his new puppy that he bought lots of supplies and accessories for the pup. He already signed him and Dazai up for an obedience training with the puppy, which Dazai heavily protested against. Love is love though, so they have a schedule next week with a certified trainor.
As Chuuya took lots of pictures of the puppy, Dazai indulged himself watching Chuuya have fun and enjoy the new member of their family, he took a couple of pictures too, for documentation purposes, not on something else such as a new screensaver for his laptop, definitely not.