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“HIT ME DAMN IT!!” It moaned.
Oh hell no! I will not go anywhere near you!
”JUST PUNISH ME” it demanded.
FUCK NO!!!-
Alright, that’s one way to grab the reader’s attention, I guess? Anywho, you may be wondering what the hell did our lovely prisoner get himself into this time?
It started when he heard yelling down a dark corridor. Normally, one would probably run away like a coward.(We don’t blame you, by the way.)
Ah but alas, the Beheaded is no ordinary being. Far from it, actually!
So what did this nincompoop do? He ran into the dark corridor, of course!
What he found there. Oh boy.. he sure was in for an odd ride...
Reaching the end of the corridor, the yelling got louder, and more coherent. He’d gone in, incase there was a survivor who got unlucky.
Maybe some more loot for himse-
No! No no, I’m here to save people, because that’s what a good hero does! Yeah! He convinced himself.
Though it wouldn’t be all that bad if they turned out to have died before I got there...
He shook his fireball of a head. He cannot think such things! He was a hero after all! Sure, maybe a fucked up one at that, with even more fucked up intentions in mind, but he was the best thing this place has.
Plus, who was there to stop him from calling himself a hero?
Oh look at that! Nobody!
Unfortunately, the closer he got to the yelling, the less it seemed to be a survivor.
A survivor wouldn’t be yelling “hit me!” at the top of their lungs, would they now?
Actually..now that he could understand what the voice was saying, the less he wanted to keep going.
People have some fucked up fantasies, after all, He paused.
His curiosity wanted to keep going, however. It’s not like anything strange like this has happened in a while, so why not stay around and watch?
He concluded that we would just take a quick peek, and make a run for it if he got caught.
Had he a mouth, he’d be grinning at the thought of his wonderful plan!
At the end of the corridor, there was a door, perfect for eavesdropping. He made his way to the door when someone inside it started yelling.
”HEY..!”
The Beheaded froze on the spot.
Shit, I got caught this fast? He silently screamed at himself for whatever it was that he did wrong.
”I KNOW YOU’RE THERE!” The voice interrupted his internal screaming.
The Beheaded let out what would have been a sigh, and turned to make a run.
”DONT LEAVE!” The voice called out with a hint of urgency.
Oh? Maybe it was someone in need of saving after all.
The Beheaded turned towards the door again. He hesitated for a second before finally kicking the door down.
Had he a voice, he’d announce his arrival to whatever poor soul got themselves into such a mess. Maybe even tell them an achievement or two!
He immediately dropped the thought when he saw absolutely nobody in the room. The only thing there was a chest.
Ah, so I’ve finally gone insane. Well, I’ll just grab the stuff and ditch. He slouched in disappointment. He sluggishly made his way towards the chest.
”THATS RIGHT, GET CLOSER”
He froze.
Did it...
Did the chest...
I really shouldn’t have tried the grounded mushrooms, what the fuck...
”HEY, YOU GONNA HIT ME OR WHAT?”
Nope! Absolutely no chance!
“COME ON, I SURELY DESERVE A SPANK..”
Yeah, no. Fuck this and fuck you, I’m outta here.
”IM SUCH A NAUGHTY CHEST”
Oh god please never say that again.
Even though he had a fireball for a head and one eye, you could tell that the Beheaded was cringing.
”PLEASE JUST HIT ME!”
He flipped the bird and started backing away from it.
”I KNOW YOU WANT TO”
NO! WHAT IN HELL GAVE YOU THAT IDEA!
This is one of those moments he wishes he could speak. Oh, the many swears he would have been spewing at the chest by now.
Closer to the door, come on!!
“HIT ME DAMN IT!!” It moaned.
Oh hell no! I will not go anywhere near you!
”JUST PUNISH ME” it demanded.
FUCK NO!!!
He slammed the door shut, and basically melted from the relief of having gotten away from...whatever the fuck that was.
He started to make his way out of the dark corridor..
”I HAVE LOOT”
...
He started to make his way towards the room.