Chapter Text
A blank world, void of life. This is how it ends. This is how it always ends. Keep a dark secret long enough and it will grow until it consumes all. Morals, feelings, people…hearts. But the end of it all had a humble beginning. No one wanted the end result.
Time to hit reverse.
Before the fall of Paris.
Back to when all that mattered was two boys discovering that perhaps moving on from old flames wasn’t so bad after all.
*
They had been patrolling Paris all night, but thankfully no new villains had been created. So Paris could rest easy and the citizens could sleep well as the holders of the Miraculous made their rounds.
Chat Noir had been paired up with Viperion, which was starting to become common on quiet nights like these. As Queen Bee loved hogging Ladybug all to herself (against Ladybug’s wishes, but even she begrudgingly sometimes admitted that Queen Bee was a great asset to the team when given the chance to truly shine, and some tutoring), and Chat Noir enjoyed his talks with Viperion, who he knew was Luka. It felt no different than talking to Luka, except that Chat Noir had to pretend that he wasn’t Adrien. Oh boy was being a superhero hard sometimes, when all he wanted to do was share his secret with all of his friends.
“I tried to give her this rose, but she got angry at me,” Chat Noir said with a sigh as he lounged about on the roof they had stationed themselves on. He twirled the red rose between his claws, glad to have removed the thorns out of paranoia of Ladybug accidently hurting herself when she accepted the gift (and all that effort had been for nothing). “Red roses don’t just mean love, you know? Sometimes a rose is merely a rose! And I love all my friends, not just my lady!”
Viperion strummed at his lyre, humming thoughtfully as he sat by where Chat Noir had settled down. “Red roses do symbolise romance. Everyone knows that.”
“Yeah but I’m telling you that sometimes a flower is just a flower! And Ladybug has a red costume, so red roses suit her well, and I couldn’t have given her a black rose.”
“Except that she also knows that you know the symbolism of a red rose, and therefore she knew your intent. Besides, black roses can mean awful things, but they can mean the opposite too. They can mean death and mourning, but also change and new beginnings. So a black rose wouldn’t have been so bad.”
“Huh… I didn’t actually know that. If she gave me a black rose then I would have been insulted, but I guess I don’t know everything about the language of flowers.”
“Or the language of romance…”
“Hey!” Chat Noir exclaimed, leaping up and jokingly swiping at Viperion. “I’m an expert in romance!”
“Oh really?” Viperion asked, as he snatched the red rose with his free hand, as fast as snake strike. He twirled it in his hand before shrugging. “Well, it’s fine not to be an expert. We’re all still young and I’m not much better.”
“Really? You?” Because Luka had always seemed so mellow and so good at everything. So free, and hadn’t grown up in a large but lonely house. It seemed impossible for Luka to not be great at romance. Nothing about his image was fake, and girls seemed to really adore him. “But you seem so…”
“Honestly I never really know what or who I want. If someone wants me then that’s great, and I’ll be more than happy to date them if they asked. As long as they’re sweet and nice, of course. That’s all that matters.”
“But correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t you be considering your feelings as well? It sounds like you wouldn’t deny someone, even if you don’t love them.”
Viperion shrugged. “As long as they’re happy, then that’s enough for me. Even if…they love someone else more. I won’t be jealous.”
Chat Noir sat down next to him, seriously concerned. “But what about you? Who do you love?”
“I…don’t know.” Viperion looked out towards the city, a sad smile on his face. “Is it weird to get happiness out of making others happy? I guess it is. But that’s the truth. I don’t really know how to just do things for myself. Especially if it’d make someone else sad. It doesn’t feel like I can. What if I date someone and someone else loves them more than I ever could? So there’s no reason to want more than I’m given. And I’m ok being like this. This is how I’ve always been.”
Slowly, Chat Noir rested an arm around Viperion’s shoulders. “I don’t really know what to say, but it’s ok to do things for yourself. To be selfish sometimes. But I know that you’re not capable of that. Even if you fall for someone loved by so many other people, if you truly love them then you shouldn’t back down. Just follow your heart, but don’t hurt someone else. Argh, I probably explained it wrong, but basically just be yourself, and you’ll find someone that you’ll love, as much as they love you. Don’t settle for being someone’s second choice.”
“Huh…it’s too late for that.”
“Oh…”
“No need to look so sad, Chat. I actually broke up with her. It was a mutual thing. She loved someone else more, even while dating me. I felt so awful when it made me upset, because I should always be happy for her, but my heart couldn’t take it. I had to let her go. She’s the one that asked me out, and I guess I was an idiot for saying yes, despite knowing the truth. I…would do it again if she asked. Because I can’t stand seeing her so sad.”
“But it obviously makes you sad, so isn’t that enough of a reason to say no? Don’t make someone else happy if it threatens your own happiness. I don’t think it’s healthy, but I’m not exactly an expert on these kinds of things…”
“It’s ok, Chat. I get your point. But it’s just hard sometimes to know what to do. Whatever I do, I can’t seem to satisfy everyone and myself. I…don’t think I ever truly loved her either, and that makes me feel awful. She’s a wonderful girl, but she puts this one other guy on a pedestal, and it makes her do bad things sometimes. And those bad things upset other people. She’s even hurt my sister’s feelings. She’s so nice, but love can turn people in monsters. I never want to be like that. So it scares me to try and pursue someone who’s never loved me. Would I hurt my friends just to get my crush’s attention?”
“You wouldn’t, I know you wouldn’t.”
Viperion looked to Chat and smiled. “I’m glad someone like you has faith in me. It’s funny but you kind of sound like this friend of mine…”
“Ahaha! No way! Maybe a cousin of mine?”
“Haha, sure… Well, thanks for listening to me anyway. Even if we’re meant to be patrolling.”
Chat waved a hand, “It’s no big deal, really! There’s not an Akuma in sight! Maybe if they’re invisible, buuuut—Eep!”
With tentative fingers, Viperion leaned in close to Chat Noir and placed the rose stem on his ear, behind his blond locks to keep it in place. “Maybe you should take your own advice and keep this rose for yourself. She might not love you the way you want, but all of us are a team and will always be here for you. Haha, and I’m sure the others wouldn’t turn down a rose from you. Well…Queen Bee definitely won’t accept one. Any gift not from her amazing idol Ladybug would be second best, and not worth her time.”
Chat’s face felt warm, and he leapt away from Viperion, trying to keep up his cool façade with little luck. “Oh wow, look at the time! I really gotta go because it’s a school night and I have to sleep because I have a big test tomorrow!”
Viperion stood up and didn’t seem to notice his odd behaviour. “Good night, Chat. Sweet dreams. I’ll see you again on the next patrol, and good luck on your test.”
“Yeah, you too! On your…uhh…dreams! Night!” And then without further ado, Chat Noir used his staff to escape the embarrassing situation, but he couldn’t escape his embarrassing thoughts about Luka.
Luka Couffaine, the boy that gave so much for others but wouldn’t take anything for himself. The boy that Adrien could relate to, and the boy that Adrien could be himself around in two different ways. And now the boy that he associated something new with, something scary: the idea that maybe Adrien wasn’t unlike that girl that Luka had talked about. Because he also put Ladybug on a pedestal, and that was unfair of him. He didn’t know what she was like outside of the costume, but he did know Luka. Luka acted no different as Viperion, and Adrien couldn’t say the same about Ladybug. Her civilian self could be totally different, and while Adrien could easily use the defence that his crush had no flaws, he didn’t know that for sure.
He knew Luka’s flaws, because Luka had outright admitted them to him. He also knew all of Luka’s strengths and good qualities. There had never been a single thing that Adrien had ever disliked about him. How could he? Luka wasn’t perfect, because no one was, but he was a good person who deserved to be loved rather than just used by those who didn’t truly love him.
And Adrien’s love for Ladybug had been dying down gradually. Maybe it was ok to give up and move on. To have Ladybug as Chat Noir’s best friend, rather than a girlfriend. He had always thought they had to be together, because of stupid destiny, but maybe not. In TV shows the guy always gets the girl if he tried hard enough, because true love conquers all. But what if the guy doesn’t love the girl, and just loves the image of her, rather than the actual person deep down? What if the guy might start falling for…another guy?
That wasn’t allowed, was it? Adrien wasn’t allowed to be like that.
His dad wouldn’t allow it.
His dad wouldn’t allow a lot of things.
Adrien was allowed to like girls, and date them only if his father approved. He couldn’t date just any girl. And dating a guy was just…improper.
But it didn’t look improper when Marc and Nathaniel were holding hands, or Juleka and Rose. They always looked in love, and happy to embrace their true selves, not having to hide, not having to listen to what intolerant adults thought. There was nothing wrong with a guy loving, or having a crush on, another guy.
So if Adrien was left wide awake in bed, wondering if maybe Luka was fine dating guys too, then there was nothing wrong with that. Or the fact that Adrien couldn’t get the idea out of his head that Luka had given him a red rose, both knowing what it symbolised, but not caring. Even if it had been as Viperion giving the rose to Chat Noir, not Adrien, but that was a minor detail.
Tomorrow, I’ll talk to Luka about this. Well, not about the rose thing. About if he’s ever dated guys before… But I’ll have to do it subtly. I’m not even sure if I like guys yet.
And yet, he could finally admit that yes Luka was gorgeous. He had never not been gorgeous. It was safe to say that perhaps Luka had been his possible bisexual-awakening, even though he had always tried to keep those thoughts down. But maybe he was done hiding every little aspect of himself. Maybe it was time to be defiant, and take his own advice.
*
“Kagami, this is a weird question but have you ever liked…girls?” Adrien asked after fencing practise, as the two were packing up their gear.
“Girls are very pretty, Adrien. Guys are not.”
“Hey, I’m pretty!”
“Hmm… How do I explain? Well, girls are different to guys. It’s hard to explain unless you feel it yourself.”
“Oh, so you’re bisexual then?”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t had enough experience with dating to know, but I do tend to lean a bit more towards girls. Some lean more towards guys, and some lean somewhere in the middle.”
“Oh…”
“But you, Adrien, are a great guy to date. I’m sad that things never worked out between us, but I’m so happy that we remain to be friends. And why are you asking me about this? Could it be that you’re not as straight as you thought you were?”
“Maybe I’ve always known, but didn’t want to admit it. It doesn’t help that my dad is the least accepting person ever, and that he’s so strict on what TV shows I can watch. I never felt like it was ok to explore some other part of myself that he didn’t like. If he ever finds out, then maybe I’ll be locked up in the house for good.”
“Well then I’ll break down the door and rescue you, Adrien,” Kagami claimed, fierce determination on her face.
“Haha, imagine the look on his face if that happens! I’m also glad we’re friends and that it’s not awkward between us. At least I get to be your wing-man!”
“That really is a plus! But what else is troubling you? You’re not usually so clumsy during practise. Is there perhaps…a boy on your mind? You wouldn’t have asked about any of this if it was about a girl instead.”
“…You got me, Kagami! I can’t hide anything from you. There…might be a boy that I maybe have a teensy-tiny crush on.”
“Luka.”
“WHAT?!” Adrien couldn’t hide his face heating up under the ever so observant eyes of Kagami.
“That time on the boat, back when we were dating, I noticed how sweet you were around him. I didn’t say anything, but it was obvious to me that you had so much respect for him. And my respect for you bloomed into admiration and love. You always seemed so fond of him, in a different way than you are about Nino. Nino’s your best guy friend, but Luka is…different.”
Adrien was stunned silent, gobsmacked. Kagami had always been so highly observant, but the fact that she had figured out Adrien’s possible bisexuality out before even Adrien admitted to it himself was astounding. And she had never exposed it before he had been ready to talk about it. No wonder why he had once been in love with her. One day she’d find the perfect match, and someone who deserved her brilliance.
“I think Luka is a great guy to fall for, Adrien. And he is single now so…you might have a chance.”
“But what if he doesn’t like guys or doesn’t like me that way?”
“Then that’s perfectly ok too. Heartbreak hurts, but moving on isn’t so difficult. Just look at us! New love is always around the corner, and the world won’t end if one person doesn’t like you back.”
Just like with me and Ladybug…
“You’re right, Kagami, as always. The world will keep spinning, and there’s plenty of fish in the sea.”
“Or just one, with gorgeous blue highlights and a fancy guitar…” Kagami giggled when Adrien covered his own face with embarrassment. “So it’s good that we’re all going to Luka’s boat this afternoon, isn’t it? I get to witness you act all mushy around him just like before. Only this time, it’s different.”
“I really hope I don’t do something embarrassing around Luka!”
“Adrien, it wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Argh, being bisexual and having a crush sucks!”
“But at least it’s Luka you like. He’s really sweet. Now let’s go get ready and make up a lie to tell our parents!”
*
Walking to the boat with Kagami felt like doomsday, because how could Adrien hide his feelings now that he was all too aware of them? It seemed silly to fall so hard so fast, but then again maybe he had been falling for so long for so many different people that he hadn’t really allowed those feelings to surface. He always had to shove everything down because his love for his ‘one true love’ Ladybug seemed far more important. But that love was a lie. There was no happiness to be found loving an idol, an image, a superhero whose identity he didn’t know.
Luka, on the other hand…
How couldn’t anyone love Luka? Lying wasn’t something he seemed to do, unless it was to protect someone else’s feelings. And if asked about his secret identity, would he tell the truth? To someone he trusted, he probably would, and even if that was dangerous, Luka would probably do it so he didn’t have to keep lying to a friend. And that’s far more than Adrien had ever done, too afraid of the consequences. Even his best guy friend Nino had no idea, or Kagami.
At the boat, it seemed like the get together was already kicking off with Marinette, Lila, and Chloe right in the middle of some kind of argument as everyone else watched on. Nino and Alya were on their phones, bored of the ordeal. It wasn’t anything new.
“But I don’t get who invited you, Lila? You’re so mean to everyone and a total liar!” Marinette said, glaring and pointing a finger at her. “It seems like you invited yourself!”
“Yeah, and that’s like totally tacky,” Chloe said, being helpful to Marinette for once.
Lila gasped in horror, “How could you say such mean things about me? I never lie! I didn’t invite myself!”
“It’s not a closed party, Marinette, anyone can swing by. It doesn’t bother me,” Luka said, strumming at his guitar with an unimpressed expression. “And it’s not really a party anyway, just a chill get together between friends…”
“Exactly! Lila hasn’t been nice to a single person here!” Marinette replied, not swayed. “She’s just here because she heard that Adrien would be!”
“You’re so mean! Are you saying I don’t have any friends and only care about Adrien? That isn’t true! I do care about him, but I also care about all of you…”
“Liar!” Chloe exclaimed. “You’ve been nothing but a nuisance since day one!”
“Umm, did we come at a bad time?” Kagami interjected.
The three girls jumped apart, all eyes on the newcomers, and Adrien felt out of place. Especially with the bad vibes. He didn’t want to attend a gathering with so much conflict. It was better when everyone got along, or at least pretended to for the sake of everyone else having a good time. But perhaps pretending to like someone was worse.
“Adrien!”
“Finally, buddy, please salvage this party!”
“Before this boat sinks!”
Lila ran to Adrien, and flung herself into his arms, who awkwardly caught her. “Oh, Adrien, they’re all being so mean to me!”
“I know, Lila, and that’s not ok. Marinette, Chloe, I’m actually the one who invited Lila. It seemed rude to not invite her, being in our class and all. I would have felt guilty.”
Marinette immediately froze up, before flushing. “O-Oh… You’re so considerate, Adrien. I’m sorry, I was out of line.”
“Well I wasn’t! I hate Lila! But if you want to invite that liar then be my guest,” Chloe said, huffing before going over to the rest of the girls and sitting down, pouting. “Utterly ridiculous!”
Kagami dragged Lila by the hand out of Adrien’s arms with a smile. “It’s ok, Lila, you can stick with me for the night. I’ll make sure that no one bullies you.”
Lila seemed disappointed to be away from Adrien, but Adrien was glad. He didn’t feel any kind of love for Lila. He felt bad for her, and knew she lied a lot and had done awful things, but she wasn’t the only one. And he felt as if she could be a better person if she was given enough chances, and shown that there was no need to keep lying and tricking people. Hell, Chloe and her were amazingly alike, and Chloe had grown nicer. Not too nice, because that just wasn’t Chloe, but she now treated her friends better, even Marinette who she used to seem to hate.
“I wasn’t bullying Lila, really!” Marinette said. “I just don’t want her causing any problems.”
“Lila has feelings, Marinette,” Luka replied, cutting in before Adrien could.
“B-But…”
“Sit next to me, Marinette, and away from that liar!”
Marinette sighed in defeat before doing as Chloe said, surprisingly. Funny how so many things change over time.
Kagami seated herself and Lila far from Chloe and Marinette, which happened to be near Luka. And telling by the smirk Kagami gave Adrien, she was subtly egging him on to go and talk to the guy. So he sat down next to Luka who seemed down.
“Everything alright?” Adrien murmured quietly to Luka.
“No. I just wish that Marinette wouldn’t get like that. I can understand the anger, especially since Lila got Marinette kicked out of school that time, but anger isn’t helping to solve anything.”
“Agreed, I feel awful for Lila. Doesn’t excuse anything she’s done, but it makes you wonder if she’s ever had any friends.”
“Yeah… Because of that, now I feel so much tension. Like a song using the wrong instruments. Instead of there being a nice flow there’s so much crashing and banging. It sounds about as awful as I feel.”
“I’m sorry.”
Luka shook his head. “It’s not your fault. I just wish they wouldn’t fight like that in front of everyone. Why not go and talk things out? But no, they just have to shame each other in front of an audience.”
Adrien had never seen Luka so frustrated, not since the Akuma attack. And for a moment, Adrien worried that there would be a repeat of the Silencer, but he couldn’t see any glowing purple butterflies in the night sky. And for that he was glad. There had been less of them lately, which made him wonder of something deeper was going on behind the scenes. For now, he was glad for the break, and that everyone could focus on just being kids again. Teenagers doing teenage things without having to worry about being turned into a villain if they felt strong negative emotions.
“Why’d you and Luka break up, Marinette?” Lila asked loudly, with Kagami rolling her eyes by her side. “Was it because you like someone else? Another boy perhaps?”
“Lila, don’t,” Alya warned.
“Don’t what? Hey Marinette, do you think that Adrien and I would make a great couple? You must be happy that he and Kagami broke up.”
“NO!” Marinette exclaimed, falling out of her seat before stumbling to her feet. “U-Uh, what I meant to say was… I’m happy—no, I’m sad that they broke up and I’m happy that I… Uhh… Argh! It’s none of your business, and whoever Adrien chooses is up to him! As long as it makes him happy!”
“Yeah Lila, shut up and stop causing waves,” Chloe added. “Just because Adrien wouldn’t pick a tacky girl like you doesn’t mean you get to act all high and mighty. I mean, who would choose you? No boys here would!”
“Oh, so Marinette, would you mind if I dated Luka?” Lila asked, grinning. If she grinned any wider then maybe her face would split. “He’s cute, and it’s such a waste that you two aren’t a thing anymore.”
“Back off, that cutie wouldn’t date you either!”
Luka turned away from the group and looked down at the water below. This night just seemed to get worse and worse.
“Luka…” Adrien whispered.
“It sucks that I can’t even use the excuse that ‘I have to go home’, because I live here.”
“Let’s go to your room then. Unless you want to be alone, that is…”
“No, let’s go before they notice us. Well, my sister will notice, but she won’t say anything. Let’s go.”
Stealthily, they made their way to the stairs and left the gathering for the lower deck. And once in the sanctuary of Luka’s room, both let out a sigh of relief.
“I hope the girls don’t start wrestling by the time we get back,” Adrien joked. “Well, if we ever go back that is. I’m sure Kagami can handle things if they get out of control, and Rose can probably get them to calm down once she’s done gawking at the show.”
“Yeah…” Luka laid down on his bed and covered his face with his pillow. “Sometimes I’m glad that I don’t go to your school,” he said, voice muffled.
Adrien sat down on the bed by him, not daring to lay down next to him. “Well, you get used to it. It usually isn’t this bad… Well, depending on whether it involves an Akuma. I’m glad that Hawk Moth seems to be busy tonight.” Luka still didn’t remove the pillow from his face. “Are you ok with Lila digging into your relationship like that?”
“It’s fine, she can say whatever she wants. The break up wasn’t as big of a thing as she and everyone probably thinks it was. It felt mutual, even if I was the one to end it. We just weren’t good for each other.”
“And that’s ok, it happens sometimes.”
“Yeah…”
There was silence for a few moments, before Luka uncovered his face and sat up. “This talk feels so familiar.”
“O-Oh, does it?”
“Uh huh. A wise friend of mine made me see that I shouldn’t feel so bad about the break up. So I don’t. I’ve been thinking about it, and Marinette and I are really not good for each other. To her I was a source of comfort, but not the one she wanted. I was just the only one around who wouldn’t judge and would be there for her. But when I needed her, it didn’t feel like she was always there for me in return. There was always someone else.”
“Huh… Well I hope everything works out for her, and you too. It couldn’t have been easy.”
“No, it wasn’t. I pretended like it was. But I shouldn’t be ok with being the second choice. I want to be someone’s number one.”
If Adrien had any confidence at all, then he would have said, ‘Well Luka, to me you’re my number one, because you’re perfect.’ But instead Adrien said, “W-Well, I’m sure that one day you’ll find someone that will adore you.”
Luka sighed. “Yeah, I guess so. There’s always hope, right?”
“Yes, always! Never let go of hope!” I really hope he doesn’t realise that this is close to a repeat of that conversation he had with Chat Noir…
“Thanks, Adrien, you always know what to say. But I think I want to go on a walk for a bit, by myself. I just need to think, away from all the noise for a bit, if that’s ok.”
“That’s fine, Luka. I’ll be here when you get back.”
*
That night, Luka didn’t return to the party. Adrien waited, and even texted, but he never returned. Not even when everyone was ready to leave.
“I’m sure he’s just staying at a friend’s house,” Juleka told everyone. “He does that sometimes.” But even she looked uncertain.
“He’s a big boy and can look after himself,” Chloe said, rolling her eyes. “C’mon, let’s go already!”
Kagami put a hand on Adrien’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring look. “He’ll be ok, Adrien. Maybe he just needs some time to himself.”
“But he’s been gone for so long.”
“And you’re worrying too much. Just like Juleka said, he probably stayed at someone’s house. It happens.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
It wasn’t until Adrien left the party and changed into Chat Noir when alone that everything became clear. Because voice memos had been left on the Miraculous team’s secret messaging network:
“This is Viperion checking in. Is anyone else on patrol tonight? I guess not. Well, this is weird but I saw Hawk Moth in the park. It looked like he was grabbing butterflies. Maybe his supply was getting low, since we’ve been catching and releasing so many of his. Makes sense that he’d do it at night when no one could see. It looked as ridiculous as you can imagine.
“This is Viperion checking in again. Is no one else around on patrol? I’ve been following Hawk Moth at a distance, and since I have no back up I can’t engage. I would have liked to release those butterflies, but we all know that Ladybug and Chat Noir will end up doing that in their own way eventually. But imagine if we can stop his supply completely? He probably hatches them at home, but you can’t speed up the lifecycle of butterflies, so of course he needs more and more from the park.
“Viperion, once again. He’s heading to a house of someone I know. I’ve activated Second Chance, so I’ll keep following. I’m not sure if he’s heading to this house because he lives there. Maybe he wants to make them a victim? No, why not just choose anyone else? He did spot me a few times before, I have to admit. But of course all those times I called in before being discovered were erased with time. I just…wish someone would pick up. This is too important.
“I’m inside the house but there’s an elevator? I’m riding it, and this must mean that… Please, someone pick up. I seriously need the back up and I can’t explain this without you guys here. Wait, w-what…who is that—”
“Viperion! Hello, Viperion?!” Chat exclaimed, calling into the network, but Viperion’s last message had been an hour ago. He was offline. “Ladybug, pick up! Hello? Viperion’s in trouble! Hello?”
But no one answered.
Chat Noir searched the city, searched all the parks, but couldn’t find any signs of a struggle, or of Viperion for that matter. And when he checked the boat, Luka still wasn’t back.
Luka was gone. Without a sign as to where he went or what he had discovered.