Work Text:
Yoongi had never cried. Maybe when he was a baby, but never when he was an adult. He didn’t even cry when his dear grandmother died. Everyone had said that it’s okay, that he’s still a child who probably couldn’t grasp the idea or the reality of death just yet. Yoongi had always known there’s something wrong with him.
A king, with an absence of emotions.
Some say that's an advantage. People don't want a king who has too many emotions to lead them. But they also didn’t want a heartless person to be their king. And Yoongi, after being a king right after his father died, realized that people want everything and nothing for a King.
Staring at Taehyung right now, in the middle of their private house in Daegu, head hanging low. Taehyung, who always seeks Yoongi’s eyes, suddenly avoids it like the plague. Yoongi could feel his vision getting blurry, eyes filling with tears threatening to fall.
Taehyung’s silence is a grand confirmation for what Yoongi had suspected for a long time now.
It was about 5 year into their marriage, when Yoongi found the photograph of one famous ballerina in Seoul, Park Jimin, in his husband's travelling bag. The same photograph his husband is holding right now, 3 years later.
Yoongi shouldn’t even be surprised by this. But he couldn’t control the hurt that enveloped his heart. The same heart that shouldn’t be this emotional, the cold heart of the King.
Yoongi knew when he asked his father’s permission to marry Taehyung, he would have to sacrifice so much. Being royalty, the king of Seoul, marrying the most well-known painter in Korea, Kim Taehyung would come with a price. After all, Taehyung wasn’t royalty. Yoongi wasn’t aware of that price when he begged his father. Yoongi thought that he was the one that will pay the price, but he knows now that’s entirely wrong.
It was Taehyung who had paid the price.
They were happy when they got married. Their marriage started off with joy and happiness. And then Yoongi’s father passed away, and he’s forced to take the throne. A king no older than 28, imprisoned away from his family and chained to the crown. But that was 3 years ago, the same year he found Park Jimin’s photograph.
Taehyung is the one that takes the role as the head of their family while Yoongi is the head of the entire nation. Taehyung is the one taking care of their son, Yeonjun, while Yoongi is too busy with the nation’s latest crisis, or drama.
Yoongi knows this marriage is no longer a source of happiness for Taehyung. He knows, yet he tried to hold on so tightly to them, to the Yoongi and Taehyung who were once happy. He tried his best, he tried to give Taehyung everything. Anything Taehyung’s ever wanted,
Yoongi would go straight to hell and back to give it to him. But still, Taehyung seeks comfort in another man's arms.
Yoongi used to think he would rather die than have to marry someone that is not Taehyung. He used to think that Taehyung feels the same. Yet here they are, 5 years into their marriage, and Yoongi wasn’t sure if Taehyung still wanted him the same.
Still love him the same.
Yoongi still loves Taehyung the same way he had loved him when they got married. His feelings don't change even when he finds out about Jimin. When Yoongi found Jimin’s photograph, he was furious. But that feeling only lasted for a few weeks, until Taehyung returned from his trip. Yoongi was racking his brain out, looking for mistakes he had made to drive Taehyung to cheat on him. Yoongi had raised Taehyung’s title from duke to prince then, he had hoped that’s enough to keep Taehyung with him.
Yoongi should’ve known better though, Taehyung was never one for titles. Yoongi should’ve known that giving Taehyung all the titles, the golds, the diamonds and all the riches in the world will never be enough. Taehyung is just simply not that type of person.
If Yoongi had known that, they wouldn’t be here in the first place.
Yoongi’s assistant told him that a scandal regarding one Park Jimin will soon break out and will possibly damage Prince Taehyung’s. That’s when Yoongi decided to take a 3 days break and retreat to his private house in Daegu. Letting his mother take over for a little while.
Taehyung apparently couldn’t take a hint that Yoongi wanted to be left alone and come to Daegu as soon as he landed back in Seoul. And that’s how they ended up here. Taehyung asks Yoongi to just talk to him, but Yoongi has run out of words and handed the photograph of Jimin he kept all those years ago to Taehyung instead. When Taehyung realized, he had stood in silence, heads hanging low and eyes avoiding Yoongi.
“Do you love him?” Yoongi asked.
Taehyung snapped his head up and his shocked gaze found Yoongi’s immediately. “ What?” he asked, eyes wild like he couldn't believe what he just heard.
“I said–”
“No. I heard what you said, but what– why? why would you even think that?” At this, Yoongi couldn’t handle the tears in his eyes anymore. He let it fall and watched Taehyung’s face morph into mortification. “Look,” Yoongi tried to explain without sounding too choked up on his own tears. “Hoseok told me about Park Jimin’s scandal that will break out tomorrow. You were photographed with him that evening, Tae. Then he was photographed kissing a guy that looks so much like you later that night, in front of the palace’s gates. I don’t know if that’s you, but I know the public will speculate.”
Yoongi took a deep breath to say the next word “So let me ask you first. Do you love him?” and that feels like stabbing his own heart.
“Yoongi,” Taehyung turns his body facing Yoongi. And Yoongi couldn’t even bear looking at Taehyung any longer without letting out a sob, so he looked out the window. Eyes looking down to the field of strawberry farm they both really love, but now it just gave Yoongi’s heart another stab.
“Jimin and I–” Before Taehyung could explain any further, Yoongi cut him off. “Taehyung,” What was Yoongi thinking? he couldn’t live without Taehyung. Why would he even try to confirm the love between Jimin and Taehyung? that would result in Yoongi being abandoned behind.
“I know, this marriage is not what we were both expecting. But I also know that as the king, divorce is off the table–”
“What?” If Yoongi turned around, maybe he would see the shock in Taehyung’s eyes. But Yoongi decided to close his eyes instead, and couldn't even bear to look at the garden any longer.
“So if you need to do whatever you need to do,” Yoongi bite his bottom lips for one second to keep his voice from shaking “to let off steam, to stay in this marriage, I could look the other way, but I just need to know–”
“I don’t want you to look the other way, Yoongi. I want you to look this way.”
There’s silence between them, both of them processing everything at the same time.
But Yoongi continues anyway, “I need to know if you love him. So I could go on and–” Yoongi stopped talking when he felt his husband’s front glued to his back. Enveloping Yoongi in a tight embrace, and Yoongi almost let out a whimper of pain because he missed Taehyung so much. He misses his husband. He just wants to hide himself away in Taehyung’s arm and pretend like the world doesn’t exist.
Pretend that he isn’t king for a day. Pretend that his husband still wants to be with him.
“Listen to me.” Taehyung says firmly. His hold on Yoongi did not loosen even for a fraction of seconds.
“I’ve never loved anyone but you.” Taehyung says in finality. He lets Yoongi absorb what he just said. He lets Yoongi realize how much Taehyung loves him.
When Yoongi’s crying subsides, Taehyung loosen the hold he had around Yoongi and turns him around so they’re facing each other. Without letting Yoongi go, Taehyung pulls one of his hands to hold Yoongi’s face and wipes away his tears. Taehyung had never seen Yoongi cry, so being the first reason Yoongi cried is world crushing for Taehyung. He doesn't even know how he will forgive himself for this.
“Jimin and I,” Taehyung tried again, holding Yoongi’s face still in his hand. “We were never anything. When you first become king… Yoongi you were so far away from me. But Jimin was there for me, he’s my best friend,” Taehyung wiped another tear that had fallen from Yoongi’s eyes. “I thought… I like him. I… I admit. I tried to kiss him once when I was drunk but nothing happened. We didn’t even kiss and he had pushed me away that night.” Taehyung’s face heats up in humiliation, he wants nothing to do other than hide away from Yoongi’s broken gaze. “I felt so disgusted with myself afterwards and Jimin had been there to help me realize I was just in love with the idea of him and because it reminds me so much of us .” A tear escapes from Taehyung’s eyes. But he needs to be strong and owned up to his mistakes.
“I’m sorry I’ve hurt you.” Taehyung finally says.
Yoongi comes forward and buries his face in Taehyung’s chest. Both hands circled around Taehyung’s middle and held on tight. “I’m sorry too.” Yoongi muffled.
“I tried to give you everything. But I don’t know how to make you stay. In. With me. Not out. Against me.” Yoongi says, trying to convey his feelings the best he can. Because he had tried everything to keep Taehyung by his side. In. In this royal mess. Not out, watching him crumble. He desperately needed Taehyung in. Otherwise he didn’t know how he’ll get through everything.
“Yoongi, I’m yours.” Taehyung says, with all his heart hoping Yoongi could understand that he holds Taehyung’s heart in his hands. And it’s his to do whatever he wants with it. Yoongi could rip it apart and Taehyung still would be grateful that it’s him and he will never regret putting his whole life in Yoongi’s hand.
“I’ve always been yours. I've been in since day one. I never wanted to be out, I want you as long as you want me” Taehyung says, burying his face on top of Yoongi’s head. Letting his tears fall down his face.
Taehyung realizes how broken their relationship had become for Yoongi to think that Taehyung isn’t on his side. “I’m in,” Taehyung tries again “Not because of the titles, not because of the riches,” Taehyung pulls back and holds Yoongi’s face in his hands. Staring right into his eyes he says “I’m in because I love you.” And Yoongi tried, he really tried to keep his sobs in. But looking at the sincerity in Taehyung’s eyes, he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help the sobs that slip past his lips.
Taehyung leaned in to kiss him and yet Yoongi couldn’t stop crying. It’s like a dam he’s been holding for years finally broke and Taehyung is there to catch him. Taehyung is there to make sure he didn’t fall and crash. He should’ve known he could always trust Taehyung.
When Taehyung pulled away, both hands were still holding Yoongi’s face and wiping away the tears.
“I love you, Tae.”
“I love you too, hyung.” Taehyung leaned in to peck the tip of Yoongi’s nose. “We have so much to work on, but I will never leave you.” Yoongi nods at that, cheeks all squeezed up on Taehyung’s palm. “So let me in, hyung. I want to help you, I want to be there for you,” Taehyung kissed Yoongi’s forehead and continues talking while his lips are still pressed to Yoongi, “Let me be there for you.” He finished.
“I promise.” Yoongi says, pulling away and looking straight into Taehyung’s eyes. “I promise. And I’m all yours too, Tae.” Yoongi leaned in to capture Taehyung’s lips again.
God, he missed this.
Just existing with Taehyung. Drinking his husband in. Letting go and letting them be connected as one. Yoongi could still feel strawberry in Taehyung’s lips. He probably ate one too many strawberries for breakfast this morning. But Yoongi loved it.
Taehyung always tastes like strawberry, tastes like home.
When they pull away to catch their breaths, forehead resting against each other, Taehyung lets out a chuckle. Yoongi frowns and wants to ask what’s so funny, but Taehyung is already talking. “I think this will give you more headache but,” Taehyung pulls away and smiles at Yoongi “The one Jimin kissed that night is you dear little brother, Jungkook.”
“What?!”