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Right around dawn, Gregg stood at the edge of the cliff, a far view stretching many miles of dense forest and a few hills. He'd come here after being messaged by his friend. "Meet me at the big cliff, right out of town, at about dawn. And bring a hat.", the message had said. Why he needed the hat, Gregg did not know, but he was sure that it was important. Hats were always important for Germ.
After a while, he heard a rustling noise behind him. Whipping around with the speed of a fox who drank almost exclusively Fiascola, Gregg stared at a rustling bush.
Then, out of said bush, popped a black hat. Underneath the hat stood Jeremy Warton, or Germ, as he preferred to be called.
"Germ!" Gregg exclaimed. Now that he was out of the bush, Gregg noticed that his friend was holding a big wooden crate, with a scritching noise emanating from inside.
"Hey. Did you bring the hat?" Germ asked, setting the crate down on the smooth rock.
"Uh, yeah dude." Gregg held out a feathered tophat Jen had given him for his 19th birthday. It was pretty amazing. "What's in the crate? Food?"
Germ took the hat from Gregg and stared off into the view. "Maybe to some, but not to us."
"What?"
"Open it."
Gregg blinked at Germ and walked over to the box. He crouched down and opened the wooden top. What he saw changed his life forever.
"HHHRRRRRGKK!"
"AHHH!!!" Gregg gasped. Inside was a small, staring possum. Its fur was white and grey, with a bright pink tail and piercing eyes. It was perfect, thought Gregg.
"Found em' in the sewers after the flood." Germ said.
"He's so beautiful! Wait, waitwaitwaitwaitwait, is... IS THE HAT FOR HIM?"
"Yes."
"WOOOO!!!" Gregg flapped his arms rapidly for several seconds, firmly cementing this moment as truly important in his long term memory.
Germ walked over to the possum and scooped him up into the fluffy hat. He stepped across the rock, towards the sun, stopping a few yards away from the edge.
He turned to Gregg. "I've brought you here for something very special. I'm giving him a name."
Gregg followed Germ to the edge. "I am truly honored, duder."
"I thought he might get bullied by the other possums, so I thought of a name that'll protect him." Germ said.
He held the hat inhabiting possum high in the air, aligned with the now rising sun.
"I, Germ Warfare, give this possum a name, I christen him with Identity."
Gregg watched, mouth agape at the holy light, the sun's rays bouncing off the confused possum. The animal might not have known it, but he was taking part in an amazing moment in history, something that would be written about for decades.
"I BLESS YOU NOW, O LORD OF GARBAGE, OOOOOO, RABIES!"
If God himself had come down that day, at that ridge, with those 2 boys and their possum, he would have wept, for he and all his many creations had never seen something so holy, so perfect, so pure.
Rabies blinked at the light, and was now named.
Germ lowered Rabies down, putting him back in the crate with the hat. Gregg was openly weeping tears of glorious rapture.
"Tha- that... was the single most amazing thi- thing I've ever seen!" Gregg cried.
Germ nodded, proud of his creation and new friend. Rabies scratched his ear, unaware of his own incomprehensible glory.
Gregg gazed upon the view. And so he knew, that all was right in the world.