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He tried to take this whole Heroic Spirit thing with a bit of levity. Chop some people up, help out his Master or the Vice Commander, and keep an eye out for any other Shinsengumi members that arrived in Chaldea. Getting too involved in any of this saving humanity business was a bad idea, so he had resolved himself to lending a hand and keeping Ritsuka at a cheerful but distant arm's length.
Of course, his idiotic heart had to get attached to the last Master of Chaldea anyways.
It was hard not to - the kid was a breath of fresh air, a bundle of energy and a warmth that would light up the room all in one. The care and attention they showed the Heroic Spirits under their care was kind of ridiculous - to show such respect to the shadows of humanity would be considered pathetically sentimental by some higher ranking mages. And yet, they were all the stronger for it, with many of their servants willing to fight until their very last breath to protect their smiles and their dream.
Somewhere along the way, he'd fallen into their orbit as well. He wanted to keep this kid safe - and they were still a kid, despite now being an adult in the legal sense. Spending their teenage years either secluded in a snowy base or fighting off threats to humanity had left little time for the carefree experiences of teenagers, nor the pleasures that came with adulthood. Saito knew the kid rarely drank, didn't know how to drive, blushed like mad if they were given a particular romantic Valentines present and still had a strangely youthful optimism despite facing death on a regular basis. Saito hoped they never lost that particular charm of theirs, despite how rough they'd had it recently. He felt like he wanted to keep their optimism alive, despite his own pessimistic nature.
He didn't particularly know how to feel when the kid insisted on giving him a Valentine's gift late at night in the cafeteria.
It was bizarre in a technical sense; his Master really had no logical reason to give a man like him sweets for chopping people up, let alone ones hand-made with care. Yet Saito couldn't help but feel endeared, turning over the glossy red wrapped box in his hands. They were beaming up at him, pride shining in their eyes at their craftmanship and he couldn't help but grin back in turn.
"Chocolate, for me? Hey, thanks a lot for this Master-chan! If I'd known, I would've ditched work and invited you to dinner earlier. Wanna join me for now? It's not a proper gift, but I asked the person on kitchen duty to save it for me as a night-time snack."
"Ramen!" they cheered, eyeing the big steaming bowl of noodles that Saito pulled out in front of them.
"Yep, I've always been a sucker for this stuff, ever since coming here I've become addicted again" Saito chuckled, separating the bigger bowl into two smaller ones for his guest.
They both sighed in appreciation as the thick, salty smell of the noodles permeated the air, smiling at each other as they rolled out their chopsticks. Saito chuckled at Ritsuka's wide eyes once the heady taste hit them, as he preferred his ramen strong in taste. He slurped obnoxiously at his noodles on purpose to make them laugh, enjoying the carefree atmosphere.
"Ahhh, there's nothing like eating ramen late at night. This is the best hour to eat it, y'know?" he sighed out, belly full with the warmth of the noodles.
Ristuka seemed strangely reticent at the remark, poking at their noodles with a thoughtful face.
"I used to eat a ton of snacks at night back home... but now I don't do it anymore. Da Vinci says we need to eat and rest early in case we ever need to wake up suddenly in the case of an emergency. Plus, Holmes advised me to keep a proper internal body clock so I avoid getting sick as much as possible, since if I fall ill while we're in a dangerous place- and I'm rambling, sorry. I'm boring you, huh?" Ritsuka chuckled, expression sheepish as they gently stirred the noodles in their bowl around.
Saito hid his wince. He'd forgotten how much Ritsuka had adjusted their life over the last few years because they complained so little, but as he grew to know them better, it became increasingly apparent they'd barely had a chance to even live their grown-up life.
"Well, that's what bad influences like me are for, huh?" he nudged them with a smirk.
"You're not a bad influence at all, Hajime-chan! In fact you've done so much for more, I can't ever repay you with chocolate. You fight for me so often, I knew I had to at least make you something for today when I had the chance!" they replied earnestly, looking up at him gratefully.
Suddenly, Saito felt angry, an unexpected flash of frustration through his body. Why the hell does the fate of humanity fall onto his Master, who's been fighting ever since they were a teenager? Why can't they enjoy a bowel of ramen at night without worrying about nutrition, or getting sick, or what will happen if they take a single night off from saving the world?
And why the hell had they used their precious spare time away from death and destruction to make a guy like him chocolate? It didn't make any damn sense. He watched them slurp up their noodles happily, his dark mood now completely detached from their carefree aura.
"You know, I don't think I ever thanked you properly for the chocolate. Thanks, Master."
Ritsuka's head turned towards him at his low tone, starting at what was likely a weary expression on his face.
"Don't get so serious all of a sudden. I was just complaining a little, that's all" they murmured, giving him an unsure smile.
"I'm alwaaayys trying to be a super serious Shinsemgumi member though! I guess my face looks too carefree, huh?" he replied, winking for their benefit and feeling relieved when their smile turned sincere.
"Seriously though, you're a great Master looking out for me like this. Guess we better wrap it up, huh?" he sighed, chuckling at his Master hiding a yawn behind their hand.
"Yeah... I can't stay up too late these days, especially since we're preparing to journey to another Lostbelt soon. Thanks for the ramen" Ritsuka mumbled between mouthfuls of broth, scooping up the last of their noodles and dangling them down into their mouth.
"No problem. Let's hang out again sometime when we have the chance."
There. He could leave it at that, put their dirty bowls away and go to bed. No use getting further involved. That would be the right thing to do.
...
Hajime-chan needed to mind his own damn business and go to bed.
Instead, he felt his traitorous mouth opening.
"Hey, Master."
The tone of his voice was steel. Ritstuka looked over, alarm in their wide eyes at his deadly serious expression.
Screw it, he needed to say this.
"All this responsibility about saving the world, about the Order of Humanity - it's not something one person should have to do. You don't HAVE to deal with this. If you feel like... if you ever truly feel like you can't take it anymore, tell me. We'll run and I'll take you somewhere far away, anywhere you want. No one can beat me at survival, and you deserve a second life, a second option."
Ritsuka's eyes were large and unblinking, astounded.
"Hajime-chan...?" they whispered, voice heavy with emotion and eyes distant.
Shit. He thinks he may have scared them a little.
"Whoops! I blurted out something strange, huh? Sometimes I say some stupid, needless stuff if I'm not careful" he backpedaled, plastering on a fake smile.
Their gaze was unwavering. They reached a tentative hand out, eyes brimming with unspoken sentiment-
"Well, later then!" he turned, leaving the scene like the utter coward that he was.
They didn't run after him. They didn't say anything at all.
They were too pure and selfless to even think about such a thing - escaping from their responsibilities, not owing anyone a damn thing and leaving the world to its troubles. It's what Saito would've done, but luckily for Chaldea, he was no Master. He'd always known they'd happily crush themselves under the weight of their burdens rather than shrug them off- he'd always known they'd sacrifice themselves with a smile at any given moment for the people they'd sworn to protect. But damn, he wished they wouldn't.
He walked away from their lonely figure like a coward, and cursed the heavens above that Ritsuka Fujimaru didn't have a selfish bone in their body.