Work Text:
born to die
Lonesome flats is home to lonesome spirits. Children being the restless beings that they are, usually come across troubles in trying to understand life both in this gloomy town and everywhere else. By-and-by, Aunt Carolina receives visits from her little country trolls when they reach the realization that everything they have will at some time be gone—and the songs that Grandma Delta sings doesn't help. This time, it was Jaemin who knocked at her door.
"Then why do we still keep on doing all these things when we'll lose them all at the end?"
"Why, I think it's worth all of it. I won't exchange this town, you, and everyone in the flats for anything—even if it means I'll have to suffer some pain. What's a little sting if I can have you little darlings sing with me all the time?" she answered.
"We sure do like suffering, do we not?"
Such heavy words from a seven year-old but Jaemin has always been a wandering mind that it doesn't take the town sheriff by surprise anymore.
"That's one thing. But just look around and decide for yourself if all these are worth the trouble of not dying."
Jaemin thanks Aunt Carolina and apologized for the trouble he cost her so late the night but she was quick to tell her not to mind it. Despite taking her Aunt's answer for now, the ain't ever satiated mind of his is barely convinced and proceeded to think about it as he walked home.
He snuck into the lower half of the bunk bed he shares with Jeno and continues thinking until he hears movement from the bed next to his.
"What did you talk about with Aunt Carol?" asked Mark in a whisper.
"I don't think you would want to know."
Jaemin is cautious of telling his brothers about it thinking they might dwell on it too much too, like he does. Mark shrugs it off.
He couldn't sleep. The thought that someday he, Mark, Jeno, Hyuck, Jisung, and their parents would die and that some of them would have to go first doesn't quite stick well with him.
"Mark, are you still awake?"
He knows that his only chance of sleeping now is telling his older brother about it with hopes that he has the words to get the thoughts off of him.
"I did say you might not want to know but I do want to tell."
And so, he told Mark. He figured out that talking about it actually lessens the heavy feeling even just for a little while. The elder thinks about it for a while then smiles.
"Maybe Aunt Carol is right, you know? Here, how about we sleep first then look into it more tomorrow? It's almost 10 o'clock." Mark says then they both lie down to sleep.
Except, they can't sleep. Both of them.
Jaemin shifts from thinking about the problem to thinking about how bad it is for him if he doesn't get to sleep tonight then forcing his mind to think of something else then giving up because he just can't do it then pictured their mom scolding him tomorrow when she find out he didn't sleep then thought about how their mom always finds out when they do something until he eventually falls asleep.
Mark, on the other hand, has a mind as busy as Jaem. The only difference is drowsiness never came to him 'til after 4 hours so he woke up the next day with dark bags under his eyes. This didn’t go unnoticed by their mother leading to his and Jaemin’s late-night topic being spilled in the breakfast table. Jeno, Donghyuck, and Jisung hearing this followed the chain realizations that’s been happening in the flats lately.
“Maybe it wasn’t my best decision to ask you in front of them.” said their mother worriedly.
Jeno is all curled up in the corner, sobbing. Jisung keeps asking their mom if there’s no way to change that. Donghyuck refuses to go to school—although his reason for wanting so doesn’t seem to be entirely the same with the other two’s. Jaemin and Mark are not sure which to be more worried about, their original troubles or the fact that their brothers are now undergoing the same thoughts because of them. It’s the biggest crisis they’ve ever experienced.
After a few more explaining, their mother has convinced them to go to school first, hoping that they already forget about it when they get home. It didn’t happen like how their mother originally hoped it to but luckily, the solution to their problem indeed appeared to be in school.
After the bell for the break rang, the five children were all in the playground looking distraught.
Maybe their mother forgot to pack them lunch. Or maybe she didn’t forget but she prepared something they don’t like. I would have the same reaction if Mom ever packs me berries for lunch. Other kids love them but me, not as much. Chenle thought as he approached his school mates.
“Hi! Do you want to share my lunch? I don’t think it’s enough to fill all of us up but we can all have a taste. I can also call my brother, Renjun, if you’d like.”
They don’t seem to have enough will to respond with as much energy as the bright boy who just approached them.
“What’s the point of eating lunch when all the tallness we get will all disappear one day?”
“How can the world be so beautiful and cruel at the same time. Giving us all these precious things then get them back some time after.”
“If we were born to die, why are we even born?”
Chenle scratches his head from confusion.
“First of all let’s eat, you all look like talking wilted vegetables.”
They all started eating and Chenle gradually tried to extract the roots of this misfortunate situation from them.
I’m quite the smart one, you see.
“So you’re all worked up like this because you realized you’re going to die?
“Chenle, don’t talk about it so lightly. Dying means everything will go away. Everything will turn into nothing. And we won’t be able to see anyone anymore.”
Chenle let out a big sigh. “I know what dying means, silly. But it’s not at all as bad as you make it seem to be. Actually, all of you get up. I’m showing you something.” he said, sounding more determined than ever.
“We still have classes.”
“Oh right, I forgot about that. I wasn’t trying to cut classes, just letting you know. Let’s do it after classes then.”
Somehow, the thought of going somewhere with Chenle after class distracts their minds for a bit. They haven’t hung out that much with him but maybe they’ll start doing so from now on. Chenle’s older brother is also in the same class with Jaemin, Jeno, and Donghyuck. Maybe they could form a gang, a friendly one, the seven of them. Class passed by and they all met up again on the playground.
“This is the first stop.” Chenle announced. After looking at their confused faces, he explained further. “Forget about it first and let’s play. This is part of it, don’t worry.”
They were hesitant at first but after some time, they were all running around playing. They might’ve even enjoyed it too much because Jeno ripped his pants so they had to go to their house for him to change which is actually a good thing because they had to ask permission to stay out a bit later than usual. One thing’s set straight though, that they’re never gonna let Jeno forget about this. To their mother’s amusement, the children were all laughing when leaving the house.
Chenle took them next to the local barbeque. All of them got their favorite burgers and two servings of beef jerky. Meat has this magical effect that widens the eye and puts a smile to the face of both kids and adults. Just now, it even managed to make five little country trolls eat their worries away.
After eating, they went out and saw a few adults gathered round in front of the shop with some yodelling trolls who were staying by the flats temporarily.
I fall to pieces
How can I be just your friend?
You want me to act like we've never kissed
You want me to forget
Pretend we've never met
The children eventually started singing along. Jaemin and Jeno sat by the wooden bench the uncles were seated in. One of the aunties passed her strings for Mark to play. It was a wonderful sight, all of that. Just trolls of all age and sizes enjoying what they love doing the most—together. They sang a few more songs until the adults told them to go home because it’s almost their bed time.
“One last stop.” Chenle said on their way home.
The next thing they know, they were all sitting by the edge of the cliff—the five siblings slightly behind Chenle—all facing the sun that’s about to set.
“It’s pretty.” Jaemin remarked.
Chenle turned around to face them as if he’s been waiting to hear that.
“It is, isn't it? The flats is so pretty. Everything about it. One look down this cliff and you’ll see nothing but a deserted area. Only cactuses, sometimes animals and tumbleweeds. But I love it, just the way it is. The sunset, it looks like it wants us to stare at it. We were born for this. We were born to see this. And Jisung, were the burgers delicious?”
“Yes. I won’t ever get tired of them.”
“See?” Chenle exclaimed, even taking a step back from delight. “We were born to eat burgers, and jerky, and ice cream, and drink milkshakes. Jeno, did you enjoy it in the playground?”
“If it still wasn’t obvious from my torn pants, I did. Very much. I’d give anything to play with you guys forever.” he answered.
“And Hyuck, did you enjoy singing?” Chenle took another step back.
“It’s what I live for.”
“See? We have so many reasons to live for. We’re certainly not born to die. We can’t control ourselves from not getting thoughts about dying but if we pay them less importance-” One last step back and it took the image of Chenle wobbling his arms for all of them to remember that they were at the edge of a cliff.
“AAAAAAA” the second youngest screamed and in a second, he’s nowhere to be seen.
“Oh no Chenle.”
“What just happened?”
“Did he die?”
“I’m scared to take a look.”
And before they even got the chance to cry, an upside down Chenle came from below, with his hair stretched to the bottom.
“Good gracious. We ought to tell Aunt Carole to ban that song from now on. You all look like you’re about to get heart attacks. Our hairs are strong, remember?”
Jaemin smiled his biggest smile yet as realization dawned upon him. They weren’t born to die, they were born to sing about being born to die.