Chapter Text
It was the worst day of Chu Wanning's life. Looking back, after the morning conversation with his agent he should've just gone home, locked himself inside and eaten an entire cake purely out of spite. Going to a corporate event in such a frustrated state of mind, his expression was gloomy and his mood was foul, and yet Chu Wanning insisted on attending the party. It could be one of his last opportunities to shine, after all.
"Wanning, you must understand, there's a new generation of models, unafraid of taking risks, daring and curious, and you…"
There was no need to continue. He made a career out of being cold, mysterious and unapproachable. His photoshoots always carried a touch of icy haughtiness, as if a celestial being was looking down on his simple-minded subjects. It used to be considered attractive, it used to have its own particular kind of appeal, but now, apparently, it was worthless.
"Are you saying that my career is over? Fourteen years in the industry, do those kids have my knowledge? My experience?"
"It's not like that, Wanning, I'm just saying that you might have to learn how to be a team player, to collaborate in order to keep people interested."
"So I'm not good enough anymore."
"Wanning! Wanning, wait!"
He walked away and spent most of the day alone, pacing in his apartment, trying to figure out a solution, but deep down Chu Wanning knew the truth, as well as understood the reason behind his agent's words. At thirty-two years old, as a model, he was perfectly replaceable.
However, this job was his life. He started out young, he worked hard, harder than any of his peers, which made him successful and recognizable. Soon he was signed to represent famous brands, and it didn't take long for whispers and rumours to spread about a new rising star.
So many years had passed since Chu Wanning was so very naive and hopeful, still believing that there was a wonderful future ahead of him. As it turned out, the work was demanding, the bar was always set too high, and in order to protect his heart there was an armour of ice and steel placed around it. This way, no one would ever dare to come too close. This way, no one would be given a chance to break it.
That day, after hours of nitpicking at all of his little insecurities, Chu Wanning decided to make an appearance at a party organised by a cosmetics brand. That night he was drinking glass after glass of champagne until his vision became blurry and his head started spinning. In his whole life he'd never drunk this much alcohol in such a short time. He felt nauseous, struggling to breathe, and walked out of the crowded restaurant to catch a breath of fresh air. Located on the top floor of a fancy hotel, it had an open terrace, sufficiently empty and spacious for Chu Wanning to stop feeling claustrophobic, like a wild animal trapped in a cage, being mocked and laughed at.
He just wanted to get away. Slumping in one of the chairs, he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose in a futile attempt to sober up faster. This kind of lack of self-control was new to him, and, as most new things, Chu Wanning found it dreadful, the alcohol muffling his hearing and mixing up his thoughts.
The last thing he remembered before blacking out was the sound of someone's footsteps, then a voice, barely audible through the white noise in his ears.
"Excuse me, are you okay? Sir- Excuse me- Oh, fuck."
Then his world turned dark.
The next morning Chu Wanning woke up with a dry mouth, a splitting headache and an unbearable desire to die. The sense of shame, crippling up his spine, was supported by the unfamiliar surroundings. The bed, however comfortable, was most certainly not his own. The bedroom, well… Even being terribly hungover, he could still put two and two together. This apartment belonged to someone he'd never met before. A stranger. He was at a stranger's home.
Shit.
To make the situation worse, he also couldn't remember anything. The mixture of shame and fear settled in Chu Wanning's gut like a stone, and he barely held back the desire to vomit.
There was no need to panic yet. From what he could see, he was still fully dressed, with the exception of his shoes and jacket. It didn't seem like he was… taken advantage of, which was a relief. Whoever carried him here from the party must've been strong because, even though Chu Wanning's build was rather slender and lithe, he was still a man.
There was no point in deliberating any longer, so with trembling fingers and a head full of concerns he slowly went out of the bedroom, all of his senses instantly overstimulated by the abundance of smells and sounds.
He took a step back, leaning against the doorframe, but his breathing was erratic and his heartbeat was too loud, echoing in his mind in painful bursts. But just when Chu Wanning was about to collapse, he was caught by someone's strong arms, picked up, feeling as light as a feather, and settled on a couch.
Ten minutes later, he was still staring at the man in the open kitchen humming and making breakfast… for two, as it seemed. When their eyes met Chu Wanning shuffled and shifted uncomfortably, but his body was too weak for any sudden moves, so he remained on the spot, waiting for the stranger to approach.
"Here, drink some coffee. I don't know how you like it, but I can always add some milk and sugar if you want."
"It's fine." The beverage was hot and bitter, burning the tip of his tongue, but he stubbornly drank almost half of the cup in a few large gulps, his face as blank as ever. "Thank you."
"Ah," the young man scratched his head, observing him quietly. His behaviour was deliberately non-threatening, as if he cautiously considered every action and word, trying to help his guest feel at ease. "Do you feel better now?"
Not really. Even though the vertigo subsided, becoming more or less tolerable, Chu Wanning still wanted to puke his guts out, but more than anything else he wanted to find out what the hell happened the night before.
"How did I- Why did you- How did-" His thoughts were all tangled, and he could only utter a few words before falling in a mental stupor.
Nevertheless, the young man somehow managed to understand the meaning behind his mumbling, and replied: "I found you unconscious at the terrace. I couldn't just leave you there, and I thought that you wouldn't want to be seen like that, so I…"
Chu Wanning raised an eyebrow, silently urging the stranger to continue, although he was already able to draw a more or less clear picture of what happened next.
"The terrace circles around and it also has four exits, one of which leads to the stairs. I carried you out and called for a taxi, hoping that you would wake up in the car, but you didn't. I don't know where you live, so there was no other option but to bring you here."
"Here being…"
"My apartment."
"Mm-hm."
Chu Wanning's facial expression was… complicated, to say the least. On the one hand, this young man saved him from a great deal of public embarrassment, but on the other hand, he was desperate to keep his face, even under such unpleasant circumstances. Therefore, he had to leave, the sooner the better, but not before he confirmed one last detail, just to be sure.
"Nothing happened between us, right?"
The man's eyes grew wide and he stared at Chu Wanning in total disbelief, sincere enough to breathe a sigh of relief. Of course, nothing happened. Of course.
"I- I-'' Struggling to speak, the stranger took a couple steps back when Chu Wanning stood up. He noticed his jacket on the armchair, and his shoes were in the small corridor. Getting dressed, he paid no mind to the young man's incoherent blabbering, focused solely on his goal, which was to get home as soon as possible.
"I would never hurt you, I would- You are- I look up to you, Chu Wanning!"
The sound of his own name made him stop, brushing a few strands of hair back and giving the young man an inquisitive look. "So you know who I am?" Stupid. His mind was too clouded by the alcohol, otherwise he'd have already asked what this person was doing at the party to begin with. "Are you a model as well?"
Only now did he pay attention to the stranger's features. He was tall and undoubtedly handsome, by all common standards, with deep dark eyes and a mischievous smile, with a promise of trouble lingering in the corners of his mouth. Oh, and he was young. So very young.
"I'm- I only did a few jobs, but they liked me and offered me a contract." He chuckled, confident in his charms, and Chu Wanning felt a twinge in his temples. "So yeah, I guess, I am a model."
"You know, your youth is an advantage right now, so make sure to use it while you can, because one day you're gonna become damaged goods. Boring. Just another pretty face to use and discard. That's what they don't tell you about, how much this job takes from you and how little it gives back, so…" His voice was calm, but his words were poisonous, and the young man, who was excited merely a moment ago, was now pale, his eyes full of confusion and resentment. "Congratulations."
"But I- I wanted to be like you, to work with you one day, and I- I think you're wrong." His lips were quivering and he didn't sound very confident, but Chu Wanning had no energy to continue the conversation.
There was still plenty of time to be disappointed. To be tired. Drained, both physically and emotionally. To strive for perfection, created by the mind of the viewer, the impossible ideal that no one could ever live up to.
Exhausted to the extreme, after a few seconds of fumbling with the lock, Chu Wanning opened the door and walked away without saying another word.
"I think you're wrong, and I'll prove it to you, Chu Wanning. I'll prove it by becoming the best." The stranger was still talking, to himself, as much as to the man who walked out of the door. "One day you will see. I'll make you understand how mistaken you were."
Standing in the shower back at his apartment, his scattered thoughts were washed away and he didn't think about the young man any longer. It was just one mistake, one momentary weakness, which most certainly couldn't lead to any grave consequences.
Oh, how stupid he was.
***
Looking back, he should've known that one day he was going to live to regret those terrible twenty-four hours of his life. Six months later he was sitting in front of the mirror, being prepared for his first modeling cooperation. His agent was persistent, yet it still took half a year to persuade Chu Wanning to do a photoshoot with another male model and share the spotlight with a rising star, not unlike the one he was once, a long time ago.
He only knew that the guy's name was Mo Ran and that he took the industry by the storm, swiping a whole bunch of great deals and pissing off half of his colleagues as he did it. However, the man didn't care about anyone else's opinions, doing one solo project after another, which is why his desire to work with Chu Wanning was so very surprising.
With his eyes closed, he tried to relax and get into the right state of mind. He knew that they were going to stay on set for hours, even if every single take was flawless, which seemed unrealistic, so it was important to prepare his body and mind accordingly.
"Sorry, I'm a little late, the traffic is awful."
"It's okay, take a seat, we'll get started right away. Your skin has a natural glow to it so you won't need a lot of makeup."
He heard a woman's laughter on his left and a man's voice, friendly yet professional, which followed suit, expressing his humble gratitude. That must have been his modeling partner, the young and handsome Mo Ran, but for some reason the voice sounded strangely familiar.
Giving in to curiosity, Chu Wanning opened his eyes to take a peek in the mirror, but he wasn't good at being sneaky and this subtle action was caught by the man sitting in a chair next to him.
At first he thought it was a mistake, but the more he looked, the more it appeared to be some wicked coincidence bringing them face to face again after all this time.
The young man smiled, his eyes darker than ever, and waved at him through the mirror.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Chu-laoshi. I've been a huge fan of your work for such a long time. Working with you is an absolute honour. " Each sentence was a stab in Chu Wanning's chest, layered with double entendres. "I hope to learn a lot from you today, Chu-laoshi. By the way, my name is Mo Ran. I wish we could shake hands, but…" He smiled again, and the makeup artist responded with a quiet giggle of her own.
It seemed like everyone and everything on set suddenly turned against him, making him feel stuck inside a nightmare.
Little did he know, it was only the beginning.