Archive of Our Own

Notes:

1
Alfred (who turns out to be Jason) with Bruce:
A: Master Bruce, we’re out of bread.
B: Ok.
A: And ice cream.
B: Jason, if you want ice cream, text me from your number.
B: I’ll buy it and leave it in the freezer.
A: Pfttt
A: Whatever
A: Texting rn

2
Jason with Bruce
J: Texting
J: Buy some ice cream
J: And hide it
B: Ok.
B: I’ll leave it in our usual place.
J: Cigarettes too
B: Will you come over today?
J: Yeah tonight
B: I’ll leave them on the roof. You know where

3
Connor with Bruce
C: Tim hiya
C: Let’s go drinking
B: This is Tim’s father.
B: Any more questions?
C: Ask him if he wants to go drinking

4
Clark with Bruce
B: Clark, I know what you did.
C: B, how did you know it was me?
C: I was sure no one saw me!
C: I hid everything!
B: ?
C: Remains of the wall
B: I was talking about my sandwich in the fridge
C: Oh

5
Cassandra with Bruce
C: 🦇
C: 🦇🖤👋
B: I love you too, Cass.
B: 🦇💔
C: 😫😘

6
Bruce with Hal
H: i’m functioning on 5 cups of coffee, what’s your achievement
B: Got up before noon and yet to have coffee
H: omg teach me this skill, what’s your secret
B: Habit
B: And I have 8 kids one of which remembered in the morning he needs to do a school project.
H: not sure if i should feel pity or respect

7
Damian with Bruce
D: Father! Unadopt Todd immediately!
B: Damian, I’m in a meeting at the office.
B: I won’t unadopt anyone.
B: They don’t allow you to use the computer again?
D: Yes ttttt
B: Take the tablet in my room.

8
Dick with Bruce
D: It really wasn’t me!
B: Dick, we’ll talk at home
D: But I’m in Space
B: We. Will. Talk. At. Home.

9
Jason with Bruce
J: It’s urgent, I need your CVC number
B: And you were selling adulthood with such vigor yesterday
J: :(
J: :(
B: How much do you need to buy the bike?
J: 20k
(I used Russian currency so don’t think that Jason asks for something unreasonable!)