Chapter Text
It was almost closing when the bell indicating someone entering the shop rang, dragging Qi Yan out of the comfortable depths of the book held in her hand. She let out a soft sigh and put it down, coming out of the small backroom she used to store all her documents and into the main bookshop itself. Tall, old bookshelves lined the walls and created aisles to keep her obscured from the late night visitor.
It wasn't uncommon for Qi Yan to have customers when the sun had sunk below the horizon. Normally they were not normal, and anything but regulars always made her cautious. Her bookstore may seem innocent enough but there were books long forgotten hidden in places she'd rather not reveal to the wrong people.
She kept her movements quiet as she stepped out from behind a shelf, gaze casting upon the person who had entered. She was a young woman, a few years younger than Qi Yan, with a soft, delicate face and dark hair tied up in a bun. The way she held herself was with a grace normal people didn't possess, only making her seem all the more tempting.
Qi Yan paused her thoughts before she started openly eyeing up a customer, pushing down the blush that threatened to coat her ears. It was just a passing interest in someone beautiful, nothing more. No use dwelling on how rarely it happened. She didn't have time for things like that.
Qi Yan cleared her throat, a smile curving her lips and refusing to reach her amber eyes. The woman spun around with a start, before relaxing with a laugh. Her own smile lit up her face and creased her eyes, almost too bright for Qi Yan to look at.
"Is there anything in particular that you're looking for, miss? It's unusual for someone like you to come to a small bookshop like mine so late."
"Just browsing," the woman hummed, running her fingers along the spines of the books in front of her. All of sudden she turned to Qi Yan, eyes sparking with amusement. Qi Yan raised an eyebrow. "I don't actually like books, you see. I saw this small place while out on a walk and was curious. I'm glad I decided to look."
Qi Yan tilted her head without comment, silently scrutinising the woman. She didn't seem to have any ulterior moments, unless they were cleverly hidden away. There were very few who could hide such a thing from Qi Yan. And anyway, she was definitely human. While Qi Yan didn't trust humans, most of them posed no threat to her.
She may be weakened, but that still put her above the average human. Very few could take on a pureblood fey like herself. There was no risk to her here.
The woman didn't wait long for Qi Yan's response when she realised she wasn't going to get one. "Well, do you have any recommendations for someone who doesn't read much? I may as well pick something up while I'm here."
Qi Yan held back a snort. She didn't particularly want to hand over one of her precious books to someone that wouldn't appreciate it, but a customer was a customer. And there was something about this woman that drew her in... Perhaps she could teach her the joy of reading with some good recommendations.
She squashed the sentiment as soon as it appeared.
"Perhaps," Qi Yan smiled, approaching the much shorter woman. "Any particular interests?"
"No," the woman hummed, turning to look at Qi Yan with a warm smile. "Something easy to read would be best, I think."
"That can be done," Qi Yan replied, freezing as she leaned over the woman to reach a book on the shelves above her. This close she could smell the soft scent of flowers clinging to the smaller woman, sensitive nose twitching. It was pleasant. Unfairly so. She quickly withdrew as soon as she'd gotten the book, taking a few steps back. "Try this one. It's a simple enough story, but gripping enough that you won't be able to put it down."
"Oh, alright," the woman took the held out book, turning it in her hands to read the blurb. She took a painfully long time to read it before smiling again. "I'll try it out."
Qi Yan nodded, leading her over to the small desk she used as a till. Her gaze flickered to the book held careful by the woman, feeling less reluctant to give it to someone who might not appreciate it. The book she had chosen was one she had fond memories of, for reasons she wasn't sure of herself. Hopefully it was finding a good home.
The silence was comfortable as she quickly ran up the book.
"I'm Nangong Jingnu, by the way," the woman grinned once she had paid, bright and blinding. The smile temporarily distracted Qi Yan from what she had just heard and she couldn't help but return it. "Thank you for the help, I'll make sure to read it."
Qi Yan's smile froze on her face, a myriad of emotions flickering through her eyes as she registered what she had just heard.
"Qi Yan," she barely managed to respond, quickly smoothing over her expression. "Come again."
Nangong Jingnu nodded cheerfully, delicate features no longer so pleasing for Qi Yan to look at. She didn't linger, leaving the shop with one last wave and the book clutched to her chest.
Qi Yan wasn't sure how she made her way to the back room before her trembling legs collapsed under her, falling heavily onto an old chair. She scraped hand through her hair as a mirthful smile framed her lips, harsh laughter bubbling up in her throat and echoing around the room. It was a vicious joy she hadn't felt in so long, twinned with a deep sorrow that was always there. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she continued to laugh.
Who would have thought she would meet the daughter of the man who slaughtered her family at a time like this?
She could still remember every detail. She remembered the cautions given when she was younger to avoid the monster hunters, to make sure they never found you. To avoid the Nangong family most of all. She remembered when the forest burned and her parents threw her to run away with her sister, never to return.
Then they were separated, and it was only by miracles and intense care that Qi Yan had survived. But the rest had not, and it didn’t take long for gruesome tales of her parents’ murders at the hand of Nangong Rang, head of the Nangong monster hunter family. Since then the name had been engraved inside her icy heart, filling with a suffocating hatred.
Finally, she could avenge them.
Qi Yan spent the next few days in a daze, going about her day as if she wasn’t quite there. She worked on muscle memory alone, forced smiles and trained words as her mind constantly focused on formulating a plan.
She hadn't expected it to be her small bookstore, built in an attempt to replace what was lost, would provide her an opportunity to seek her revenge. After all these years dragging herself from one day to next, it finally felt she had something solid to grasp onto. She didn't have to wait around any longer.
"I think it's a terrible idea," Ding You frowned as he checked Qi Yan's pulse during his weekly visit, before poking and prodding at her with all sorts of medical devices. "Why now, after all these years? Aren't you happy with what you have?"
"Why would I be happy, when the monster that slaughtered my family is still alive?" Qi Yan sneered, amber eyes narrowing at her friend. "You really think I'd be content to let them go?"
"I didn't help you make this life to just throw it all away at the first opportunity," he sighed, lips pursed. "Stop and think for a moment. Just how much information do you have in this bookstore that could put us all in danger if found? You built this place from ground up to help others like us, don't put it at risk so easily."
"None of it will be put at risk. Do you truly think I'm stupid enough to do that? I will succeed and if I don't, someone else can take over. Its already written that it will be left to you in the event I-"
"Stop it," Ding You cut her off, squeezing Qi Yan's wrist and drawing a pained hiss from her wrist. "I'm not going to be able to dissuade you, am I?"
Qi Yan gave a wry smile that didn't reach her eyes. "When have you ever been able to? Stop talking so much and get on with the checkup, I don't have all day."
Ding You held his tongue rather than pointing out that Qi Yan did, in fact, have all day seeing as the store was closed until the evening. Qi Yan appreciated that he knew when to stop pushing, even when without him she wouldn't have made it this far. She was grateful, but wasn't about to change her mind. Thoughts of revenge had always been at the back of her thoughts, simmering and building in wait for the opportunity to strike.
It was finally here.
"Your health is fine, for now," Ding You said eventually, after poking and prodding at her. "Be careful, with the season turning colder there's a chance of a flare up."
"I've got it," Qi Yan waved her hand. What use was there being so concerned about her health, when her family was already buried beneath the ground? How could she prioritise that over finally seeking justice for them? She only tolerated these checkups because Ding You was the only friend she had, and she couldn’t seek out vengeance while dead.
"Let me check your wings."
Qi Yan's eyes narrowed, dangerous glint shining in their depths, a single heavy word coming from her thin lips. "Why?"
“You know why,” Ding You raised an eyebrow. “Though I healed the damage to them, they are still fragile, nevermind with the lack of use.”
“No, I refuse,” Qi Yan leaned back and away from Ding You, fixing him with a sharp glare. Her wings were a horrible reminder of what had happened, a remnant of a past she could never return to. Why would she want to see something that was once so beautiful in its current damaged and twisted state?
They were just like her, in a way.
“You- really,” Ding You shook his head in exasperation. "How long has it been since you were in your true form? Even just dropping the glamour would be enough to give your body a break. It's dangerous to keep going like this."
Qi Yan narrowed her eyes, before finally inclining her head. She had gotten used to the constant pain underneath her skin, the uncomfortable wrongness of the form she wore, but she knew Ding You was right. She couldn't afford to weaken herself further if she wanted to avenge her family.
Afterwards, it wouldn't matter anymore.
"Fine, I'll do as you say."
Ding You let out a relieved sigh, slight smile curving up his lips. “Why don’t you go out with me next full moon?”
“And have to deal with every other Supernatural in their true forms? Absolutely not.”
“It will be good for you.”
“Good for your conscience, more like. Don’t you have better things to do than berating me?”
“It’s my favourite pastime,” Ding You teased, though not without a hint of worry in his gaze. Qi Yan easily ignored it. “You’re right, I do have a proper job to get to. Unlike some of us, mine doesn’t involve sitting around all day.”
“Haha, very funny,” Qi Yan rolled her eyes, lips twisting up into a sneer. “Get out.”
“Don’t forget to take your medicine, and relax your glamour once in a while.”
Qi Yan didn’t give him any response, just turning her back until she heard the shop door chime behind her.
How exhausting. She would do what he said, but only so that he wouldn’t get on at her the next time he visited. Did Ding You really think she didn’t know the state of her own health? She was painfully aware of it, of how much this forced human form was eating away at her, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
She could rest easy once she paid back all she needed to, and until then she would keep holding on.
The next time Nangong Jingnu visited, Qi Yan didn't bother so much with the facade of politeness. Instead she pasted a more genuine looking smile across her lips, lounging against her front desk with a book in hand.
Nangong Jingnu seemed more relaxed too, coming in with bright smiles and an almost teasing twinkle in her eyes. It made Qi Yan's cold heart stutter in her chest. It was a feeling she quickly pushed aside, something weak, that she had no use for.
It was early evening, the sun just beginning to drop behind the horizon and bathing the store in a soft light. It highlighted the dark wood shelves and old books, filling the place with a tranquil atmosphere that Qi Yan liked to bathe in. Normally times like this would be peaceful, but with Nangong Jingnu bursting in she had a feeling that it was going to be anything but that.
“I finished the book you recommended,” Nangong Jingnu announced, walking over to the table Qi Yan sat at and leaning over it. Her sparkling, dark eyes met Qi Yan’s much colder, amber ones.
“Oh? How was it?”
“Enjoyable,” Nangong Jingnu nodded, lips curving up teasingly before she jumped onto the table to sit in front of Qi Yan. Qi Yan bit her lip to stop her irritation from escaping. Who was she to take Qi Yan’s desk as her seat? “I was surprised! I didn’t think books could be something fun, but I couldn’t put it down once I started reading. Even my father was impressed with how quickly I read it! I want another one?”
“You think you can just come in here and demand recommendations?” Qi Yan raised an eyebrow, even as an entertained smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Do you think you own the place?”
“Isn’t that your entire business?” Nangong Jingnu laughed, leaning forward with a bright smile. “You’ll sell more books if you give recommendations. If you don’t, I’ll take my business elsewhere.”
“Hm, really? You’ll be looking for a long while to find another bookstore like mine that’s still open at this time.”
“You’re right, that’s why I want a recommendation from you,” Nangong Jingnu beamed as if she’d somehow won the argument, as if Qi Yan couldn’t have her mentally destroyed in a moment. “Please?”
“Since you asked so nicely,” Qi Yan responded smoothly, standing up. She ignored the stuttering in her chest as her hand brushed against Nangong Jingnu’s knees, glad her hair was loose enough to cover her reddening ears. “I’ll see what I can do, if it gets you to stop bothering me.”
“Are you trying to chase me out?” Nangong Jingnu pouted childishly. It was adorable on her soft face, even as her dark eyes twinkled with mischief. Qi Yan liked the look on her- no, she didn’t care what she looked like. “Maybe I want two books this time.”
“You think that’ll take much longer than one?”
“Ten, then!”
“You can afford that?”
“Of course,” Nangong Jingnu puffed up her chest, before hopping off the desk to quickly follow Qi Yan through the bookshelves. “It’s nothing.”
Qi Yan smirked. “Ten books it is, then.”
After a week, Qi Yan had gotten used to Nangong Jingnu’s visits, and weathered another visit from Ding You where he berated her for not following any of his advice.
She finally gave in after getting an earful for over half an hour. It was a quiet night, the sun already dipped low below the horizon, with no customers in sight. None of her regulars were likely to turn up and even if they did, most who would visit at this hour were also Supernatural. What was the harm in letting go?
Relaxing in her favourite spot among the bookshelves, the soft musty smell of books enveloping her sensitive nose, Qi Yan let her glamour drop. Rounded ears turned pointed, her eyes thinning and lengthening as her pupil turned unnaturally thin. Her teeth lengthened and her body felt lighter.
It wasn’t quite her true form, something that would require longer to go back to. The glamour covered up the unnatural features of her human form to allow her to properly blend in. But Ding You was right, the constant use of it drained her.
It must be nice to be a Supernatural who blended in effortlessly.
Qi Yan let out a sigh of relief, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off her chest. She could breathe for the first time in a while. It wasn’t quite right, still not quite her skin, but it was better. She would take the evening to rest.
Before she had even opened her book, the doorbell chimed. Qi Yan bit back a curse and silently stood up, slipping between the shelves to peer between the books. It was probably just-
“Qi Yan, are you there?”
Fuck. Qi Yan clenched her fists, breathing quickening as Nangong Jingnu stepped further into the shop to find her. Why was she here? She had visited two days ago, and normally would only come around once or twice a week. She gritted her teeth, willing her body to change. With a light shimmer the glamour fell back into place, just in time for Nangong Jingnu to step around the corner and see her.
That had been a close call.
“There you are,” Nangong Jingnu smiled, too bright for Qi Yan’s adjusting eyes. “Why were you hiding? I thought my visit would be a pleasant surprise!”
Pleasant surprise? It was the opposite of that.
“I was reading elsewhere,” Qi Yan waved her hand, blinking as the world began to swim in front of her. It was like all the weight she’d gotten rid of came crashing down on her, her head feeling like it was about to burst.
“Are you okay? You look pale- Qi Yan!”
Nangong Jingnu’s voice sounded distant as Qi Yan felt herself falling, powerless to do anything but watch the floor moving nearer. Her vision blacked out and her mind went blank.
When Qi Yan came to she wasn’t on the hard floor, but instead cradled against something much softer. She turned her head with a confused groan.
“Qi Yan, are you awake?”
Qi Yan blinked her eyes open, hiding her shock at seeing Nangong Jingnu’s worried face looking down at her. A heavy blush coated her cheeks and it was only as she came to her senses that Qi Yan realised she was pressing her face into Nangong Jingnu’s chest.
No wonder it was so comfortable.
“Sorry about that,” Qi Yan quickly pulled herself out of Nangong Jingnu’s arms, sitting up with a wince. “I’m fine.”
“Really? I was so worried when you fainted like that! You need to take better care of yourself.”
Oh, she did? It was Nangong Jingnu’s fault that Qi Yan had ended up like this. It was all thanks to having to use glamour so quickly, after only a few minutes break without it. It was
no wonder she’d fainted after using so much energy.
Of course, Nangong Jingnu didn’t know about that. It didn’t stop Qi Yan from holding back bitter laughter. She forced a gentle smile instead.
“I’m fine. Just stood up too quickly, low blood pressure is a pain,” she smoothly lied. “Was there anything you needed?”
“Enough with that nonsense, I’m not going to let you work now,” Nangong Jingnu fussed as if it was her place to do so, eyebrows pinched and leaning forward to place a hand on Qi Yan’s forehead. The small hand was clammy, but soft. “You’re so cold… Have you eaten today?”
She hadn’t. “Of course.”
“Clearly not enough! Wait here, I’ll go next door and get you something. Don’t move too much! If I’d known you were this fragile I would visit more often with food.”
“I have a doctor,” Qi Yan snorted. Why was Nangong Jingnu acting so concerned? How long had they known each other, a few weeks?
“Clearly not a good enough one if you’re fainting so easily,” Nangong Jingnu turned up her nose, standing before Qi Yan could complain. Her expression was ruined by the light blush that still stained her adorable cheeks. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you something nice.”
“You’re really not going to listen to me, are you?” Qi Yan muttered, weakly narrowing her eyes up at Nangong Jingnu.
The younger woman shook her head with a wide grin. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
Qi Yan let out a sigh as she watched Nangong Jingnu leave. Part of her felt glad, knowing that this moment had deepened their blooming friendship and perhaps pushed them towards something more. It was what she needed if she was going to use Nangong Jingnu for her own ends.
But on the other hand, she had a feeling she wasn’t going to be getting much peace anymore.
As time went on, Nangong Jingnu’s visits got more frequent. With each one came the excuse of needing a book recommendation, and soon that was discarded entirely. After a few months Nangong Jingnu visited almost every day as if she had nothing better to do than hanging around the bookstore as a constant nuisance.
Qi Yan found herself looking forward to each visit even as she clamped down on the fickle feelings within her heart.
She didn’t know when it had happened, how Nangong Jingnu had made her way so easily into her life. She wouldn’t let herself be fooled by such feelings. She was just getting close to Nangong Jingnu to use her, nothing more. It didn’t matter if she was beginning to have different thoughts about her.
No matter what, she would steel herself to ruthlessly cut her down one day.
But until then, what was the problem in enjoying the small moments of a false friendship as she pushed for more?
“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?” Nangong Jingnu asked as she bounced into the bookstore backroom as if she belonged there, plopping herself down on the ratty couch Qi Yan had dragged in from her apartment upstairs. Her head hit Qi Yan’s shoulder as if it belonged, before she twisted herself around to press her cheek into Qi Yan’s arm and look up at her. “I’m so hungry and it’s been so long since I went out to a restaurant.”
“Go by yourself, then,” Qi Yan retorted drily, not even looking up from her book. She knew what Nangong Jingnu was doing, and wasn’t going to give into it so easily. She would, eventually, but where was the fun in giving her what she wanted?
Though really, Qi Yan would give Nangong Jingnu anything she wanted, if she just asked. Until her hands found their way around Nangong Jingnu’s throat, she would do anything for her.
“You’re no fun,” Nangong Jingnu pouted, hitting Qi Yan’s leg. “Come on, I’m asking you out for dinner. Don’t you know what it means?”
“Enlighten me. You’ve read enough books by now to do that, haven’t you?”
“This has nothing to do with books!” Nangong Jingnu huffed. It was cute how her cheeks puffed up when she was annoyed, tinged a slight red.
Qi Yan finally put her book down with a chuckle. “What is it, then?”
“A date! I’m asking you out on a date! I can’t believe I had to tell you that, you’re so dense.”
“A date?” Qi Yan pretended to be surprised, as if this wasn’t the path she’d planned long ago. Being just friends with Nangong Jingnu would never be enough for what she needed. “With me? Are you sure?”
“Stop pretending to be shy,” Nangong Jingnu rolled her eyes up at Qi Yan. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me. Ah, Qi Yan, just say yes!”
Qi Yan laughed lightly, slipping an arm around Nangong Jingnu and pulling her gently against her chest. Then she turned and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Yes, of course.”
“I knew you’d agree,” Nangong Jingnu grinned, contentedly snuggling against Qi Yan. “This means we’re dating now, right?”
“It does.”
Nangong Jingnu gave a pleased hum, dropping her head to rest in the crook of Qi Yan’s neck. Her face shined with a joy that Qi Yan could never feel, even as it made her feel things she didn’t want to feel. She ignored this and held Nangong Jingnu close, resting her chin on the top of her head.
Qi Yan couldn’t contain the twisted smile that crossed her lips. Everything was going to plan. Like this there would be no suspicions of her. Nangong Jingnu was the one to ask her first, after all. They could spend their days together just as they had before, and finally Qi Yan could use Nangong Jingnu like she had always planned to.
With the daughter of her enemy in her arms, content and unaware, Qi Yan wore an expression leaking bloodlust.
Later that evening, when Qi Yan was finally alone, she found herself in front of an old battered mirror discarded in her small bedroom.
The woman that looked back at her was tall and skinny, with an unnatural grace that came with being one of her kind. Her dark hair was pulled back into a bun, clothes neat and simple. It was the appearance she had grown used to since she had gone into hiding as a child and learned the glamour that all Fey knew how to use.
How wrong it felt.
For the first time in years, Qi Yan let it slip entirely. Her body shimmered as it changed. First were the small changes, ears pointing and teeth lengthening. Her eyes turned an even more unnatural amber, glowing in the darkness. Her skin took on a green tinge with darker, leaf like markings running up her neck and surrounding her jawline.
Sharp pain shot through her body as her wings finally broke free, spreading weakly behind her. They were delicate and long like a dragonfly’s, shimmering a myriad of colours in the dim light of the room. The left one was bent downwards, painfully twisted with sections missing. The right was straight but not without damage, vicious scars running down it.
Qi Yan looked at herself in the mirror, and bared her sharp teeth in a smile.
Finally, after so many long years, she felt like herself. She allowed herself to be in the form that had disgusted her, that she felt she didn’t deserve after everything that had happened. It felt freeing after years of hiding.
Broken laughter escaped her lips as she stretched out her damaged wings, loosening her hair and letting it tumble free down her back. Tears ran down her cheeks, lightly dropping onto her heaving chest.
Mother, Father, I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. Agula is finally going to avenge you.