Work Text:
Every time Jensen walked by the bedroom he felt his stomach plummet and heart constrict. That bed was the first place they kissed. The first place they made love. The first place they said I love you .
The kitchen was slightly better, but still painful. It’s where they cooked together; singing along to music and dancing like children.
They had to pack this place up by the end of the month and Jensen still couldn’t bring himself to touch those rooms. There were too many memories, too much love.
That’s why he started with his office. The smallest room in the apartment, with nothing but textbooks, cables, and office supplies. This place could easily be replicated somewhere else. It didn’t hold sentimental value like the rest of this place.
That’s what he thought.
Until he stumbled upon the bottom drawer in his desk. He’d forgotten what he’d stashed in there.
Pictures. Dozens and dozens of pictures.
Fuck .
The first one on top was an old photograph of himself and Jared. They were probably nineteen. Jensen was looking up into the camera lense with a flush on his cheeks and a grin on his face. Jared wasn’t looking at the camera, though. He was staring at Jensen, the shot taken mid-laugh so his smile was massive- dimples deep and eyes glowing. Jensen found himself staring at the face of the man he loved so long ago. His wild hair and kaleidoscope eyes. The love radiating off of him. It made his heart ache.
The man in this photo died a long time ago. Sometimes Jensen missed him. His wild, carefree nature. The way he moved oceans when he was passionate about something. How cute his little blush was when he got nervous. The adorable way he flirted. How awkward he was in that lanky, tall body- all noodle arms and skinny legs. How he kissed- like he was eager, and excited, and close to cumming in his pants. How he looked at Jensen like he hung the moon and stars.
“Hey.”
But then he saw that face -the one staring at him from the doorway right now- and realized that the man in that photo wasn’t gone. He just evolved. He grew into the most perfect, mature, loving man Jensen’s ever known. He may have more years in the bank, more muscles on his chest, and more confidence in himself, but he was still the man Jensen fell in love with all those years ago. He was still Jared. Still his Jay.
He smiled up at his husband, eyes watering slightly, “Hey yourself.”
Jared’s left hand was pressed firmly to his abdomen, gently cradling the reason they were moving. A baby required more space than this place had. It required a nursery, an extra bedroom, and a real backyard. A decent school system. Jensen was excited, absolutely, (it was when Jared told him he was pregnant that he cried happy tears for the first time in his life), but he was also incredibly sad about leaving this place, and its memories, behind.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Jared asked gently as he leaned his head against the doorframe, looking at Jensen with that you’re my whole world glint in his eye.
Jensen exhaled softly as he flicked his eyes back down to the photo. Upon seeing that beautiful, young face again, he found himself smiling tightly. He whispered with so much love in his voice it was tangible, “You.”
Jared’s eyes lit up a little and his dimples deepened as he walked forward. He came around to Jensen’s side and took a look at the picture. When he realized what the picture was, he inhaled a bit in surprise. Then, he kissed his husband’s cheek and shifted so he was behind him. He proceeded to wrap his hands around Jensen’s waist and rest his chin on one of his broad shoulders.
“Feels like a lifetime ago.” Jared whispered as he continued staring at the two faces in the picture, nostalgia flooding his mind and heart.
Jensen nodded subtlety and leaned back into Jared’s body. He reached for one of Jared’s hands where it was resting on his waist and squeezed it as he whispered back sincerely, “I love you even more now than I did back then.”
Jared’s breath hitched and he wrapped his arms even tighter around Jensen’s waist, starting to gently rock him. He pressed a kiss right below his ear and hummed, “I love you, too. So much.”
Jensen closed his eyes and let himself relax into Jared’s warm, firm body. They swayed gently, Jared nuzzling Jensen’s hair with his nose and breathing in evenly.
“I know this is hard.” Jared whispered eventually, his voice slightly more tense than before, “But we’re in it together. Always.”
Jensen opened his eyes, feeling the tears stinging his irises and threatening to fall. He squeezed Jared’s hand tighter and then, in one smooth movement, his husband was twirling him around so they were face to face. He took the picture from Jensen’s hand and placed it down on the desk before wrapping both hands around Jensen’s back and pulling him close. Before Jensen knew what was happening, Jared was moving and they were slow dancing. All alone in a half-empty office filled with boxes and no music. They were slow dancing.
He fucking loved his husband.
“How did I get so lucky?” He asked in a hitched whisper, a tear suddenly falling down his cheek uninhibited.
Jared laughed softly as he brought a hand up and gently caressed the back of Jensen’s head, “Same way I did, I guess.”
Jensen smiled softly and leaned forward so that his cheek was resting on Jared’s shoulder. He whispered, “I’m gonna miss this place so much.”
He could feel Jared take a deep breath against him and then heard his soothing words, “I know. I will, too.”
Jensen was a little surprised. He was expecting a but…
But Jared just let it hang. He didn’t rush to reassure or convince him that he shouldn’t miss it. He just… supported. Has Jensen mentioned that he loves his husband?”
“Don’t get me wrong,” Jensen said, slowly creeping a hand down between them and pressing it to Jared’s still-flat belly, “I am so excited for our future. I just-”
“I know.” Jared cut him off gently, a knowing smile on his lips. He rubbed his hand over Jensen’s back, up and down, “This has been your home forever. This is where you got into grad school. Where you’ve cooked, and cleaned, and slept. Even before me. You’ll always be attached to it.”
Jensen pulled back at that. He looked into Jared’s caring eyes and gently shook his head, “Jay, you don’t understand.”
Jared’s eyebrows furrowed just slightly and he asked in confusion, “What do you mean?”
Jensen smiled tightly and reached up to hold Jared’s cheek in his palm. He admitted in a whisper, “This is the first place we kissed. The first place we had sex. The first place we went after I proposed. The place where you moved in. None of it is about me , baby, it’s about us . This place is where I fell in love with you. I just… it’s hard to let that go.”
Jared yanked him into a hug and held him so tightly it was hard to breathe. After a moment, he spoke in a shaky voice, “That’s so sweet, Jen.”
And then he pulled back and looked down at his stomach with watery eyes. He took Jensen’s hand and pressed it against his abdomen, laying his on top of it.
“And you know what? Our new house will be the first place we kiss him or her. The place we put them to sleep. The place we’ll hold them. The place we’ll fall in love with them. We’re gonna create so many new memories. For the two of us and our baby.”
A tear fell down Jensen’s cheek and he laughed a little, emotionally, “You’re incredible.”
Jared leaned down with a big smile and kissed his forehead. Jensen spread his fingers gently over Jared’s stomach and felt his anxiety ease. This was their future. Their legacy. Their love. He leaned into Jared’s lips for a moment more before pulling away and smirking, “You’re wrong about one thing.”
Jared smiled softly and prompted, “What’s that?”
Jensen looked up, meeting those kaleidoscope eyes- the ones that looked at him like he hung the moon and stars. He smiled wide.
“I’ve already fallen in love with them.”