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Elias remembered when he and Marius were kids; he remembered when everything was simple. He remembered when they would laugh and when nothing was in their way. He remembered when they promised each other that they would get married in the future.
Now, he worked nine to five at a boring office job with practically no future ahead of him. He sometimes wished he didn’t skip out on college unlike Marius who was a successful going on more successful engineer and pilot as well as a streamer on the side. Even though the two somehow managed to stay as best friends throughout all their years, the little amount of free time Marius had to spend was eventually spent up by someone new, and Elias knew if he could change one thing about his life, he’d make it him and not Dominic Brunsmeier.
So there Elias sat, leaning back in his chair and gazing lazily at his computer screen, tapping gently on the keyboard every now and again. In the background of Marius’ face cam on his Twitch stream laid Dominic in said man’s bed, his phone held above him and his face glowing softly from the light of the screen. Elias rolled his eyes; the audacity of that man to just exist was unmatched by anything. Besides, he didn’t even own the spare key to Marius’ apartment. Elias’ lip twitched upward in a slight lopsided smirk as he fiddled with the melded piece of metal in his pocket.
Even with all of that, though, Elias knew he couldn’t compare. Dominic had social skills, and what did he have? Well, he did have a steady income. However, he didn’t think that was enough to satisfy Marius—because, well, he wasn’t a gold digger—but Dominic with his laidback attitude and smooth flirting stole the engineer’s heart in only a matter of seconds. Little did he know that he would lose his heart in the same amount of time. If it was the same for all of his past relationships, it would be the same for this asshole.
James was a mutual friend between Elias and Marius, but he was also friends with Dominic. So, when he asked Elias if he’d met him one day, Elias wilted away internally.
“Ja, I’ve met Dominic,” he replied nonchalantly while also praying his expression wouldn’t falter and give way to his true feelings of hatred towards the man. Of course I’ve met Dominic! “I ran into him at Marius’. Plus, Marius never stops going off about him. I am happy for my awkward friend; I just hope it does not end like the others.” Right.
Elias directed his gaze to the table, brought back to when he had first found out about Marius’ new boyfriend. He had knocked on his apartment door to hang out, and when the door was answered, it wasn’t by the pretty face he had been expecting to see; there had stood a man the same height as Marius yet consisting of a completely different figure. He had a sharp jawline painted with peachy skin. His eyes were blue and held an icy cold stare that caused Elias to noticeably shrink back. Sitting furrowed above were bushy reddish brown eyebrows with the same colored hair mopped across his head and tickling his forehead. Slight facial hair was present, only a stubble, but it gave him the perfect amount of manliness needed to fit his expression. Elias gawked, his eyes moving down to take in his neck peeking out of his hoodie that pulled on his muscles and perfectly broad shoulders and shit he’s hot.
Elias could just imagine what he would look like stripped of his clothes thrown haphazardly across the floor, one of Elias’ hands running up his abs with their chests pressed together, and their thighs sliding and slotting into each other perfectly. There were fingers tangled in hair and gentle tugs that were followed by rough, low moans. Elias’ lips brushed lightly against another pair; the taller German’s were thin and chapped, but Elias loved it, and—
Elias’ cheeks dusted pink as he snapped out of his trance. His Adam’s apple bobbed nervously as he swallowed thickly, so he could speak, and he hoped his problem wasn’t visible. He could conclude the male before him was attractive, but I’m not gay, though...right?
“Elias?”
The man in question jumped, throwing his head up. “Ja?”
“Did ya hear what I said, mate?”
“No, sorry. Repeat it, please?”
“I asked what ya think about him.”
“I hate him.”
As weeks went by of the couple being together, Elias grew more and more jealous. At first he thought he believed it was over Dominic; Elias hadn’t gotten to talk to Marius in a whole week because of him. He soon came to the horrible realization that he was jealous of his best friend. Marius was living the dream, and Elias wanted everything that he had. Up until they graduated from high school, Elias was the one who had everything, but now, it was Marius—with the dream career, the popularity, the smarts, and the boyfriend. Elias rubbed his eyes. He was getting a headache.
Every time Elias went to Marius’ apartment, Dominic was there, and every time, Elias could feel himself going more and more insane. What is wrong with me? He stopped cracking as many jokes, and he slowly dwindled into a silent presence while the two chattered on the loveseat. What was the most humorous to him was that not even Marius noticed his difference in nature. Elias stopped looking forward to Friday nights (their designated movie night) and would even sometimes make excuses to not show up.
Throughout this time, Elias got closer with James and began to prefer spending time with him. His downfall, however, was how James was able to notice the change in Elias as time went by. The German would always get lost in thought or look as if he were faking his entire persona. When James asked him what was up, Elias avoided the question. If he was being honest, he didn’t know the answer himself. So, when a conclusion suddenly struck him, he blurted it out. Unbeknownst to either of them, it was total bullshit.
“I think I have a crush on Marius.”
“No bloody way.”
Elias daydreamed about Marius a lot, so that had to be the answer, right? It wasn’t; in fact, he rarely daydreamed just of Marius. It was always Dominic on his mind, but his brain didn’t want to admit that fact. Pretending to like Marius was the easiest route in his situation—besides, he didn’t have a chance with either, so it wasn’t like it truly mattered.
That next Friday, Elias showed up to Marius’ place with a new light. He participated in their conversations, he forcefully laughed, and he spat out as many possible jokes as he could. He aimed everything at Marius in an attempt for him to be noticed, and he gained his attention quite quickly.
“Can you cut it out?” Marius snapped.
“Cut what out?” Elias laughed nervously, a soft rumbling in his throat.
“You’re acting like a fucking creep,” Dominic cut in, speaking for Marius. Marius glanced at Dominic before sliding his gaze to Elias.
“I wouldn’t put it that way, but...ja. He’s right.”
And everything shattered.
“Your boyfriend is a fucking asshole, Mari! Why do you put up with him?!”
“Get out!”
“What?!”
“Get out, Elias!”
Elias heaved himself to his feet and dragged himself
out of the apartment. When the door was shut behind him, he let his head loll back and bump against it, hoarsely whispering: “I just want you to care.” He didn’t know who you was referring to.
That same night, Marius and Dominic broke up.
Elias didn’t hear the news until the next time he spoke to James which happened to be not too long after. When Elias asked why, James hesitated.
“I don’t know if I should be telling ya this, but...ah, fuck it. Dom broke up with Marius because of how Marius was treating ya.”
“..What?”
“Dominic could tell how upset you were that Marius didn’t seem to care about ya anymore, and it annoyed him how Marius wasn’t catchin’ in on it. He even talked to him about it, but Marius waved it off, the wanker.”
“Dominic was an asshole to me, and you’re saying that he broke up with Marius...because of me?”
“Yup.”
“He said I was a ‘fucking creep.’”
“He puts things as it is. He’s not a lad for beatin’ around the bush, y’know. And just ‘cause he was a little pissy at times doesn’t mean he doesn’t like ya.”
Elias was stunned. He went home stunned, and he remained stunned throughout the days that followed.
More time passed. Elias hadn’t spoken to Marius, and he didn’t plan on reaching out anytime soon. The only person he hung out with was James, but because Elias wasn’t James’ only friend, he didn’t get to spend as much time with him as he’d like to. He was lonely.
After work one Friday night, Elias made plans with James to go to dinner. It wasn’t a fancy place—far from it, actually—but it was somewhere the Brit mentioned wanting to try, and Elias was running out of things to do at home by himself. When James mentioned he’d like to bring along a friend or two, Elias didn’t oppose. It’d be nice to have more company, he thought. And if James likes them, then I will too.
When Elias showed up, the restaurant wasn’t packed, but it wasn’t empty either. He was glad that it wouldn’t be too loud. James was sitting in a booth against a wall one table away from the corner of the building. Another person was sitting across from him, and the two were engaged in what seemed to be a very interesting conversation that consisted of James waving his hands around in different gestures to—Elias assumed—match his words.
Elias had been hoping that he would arrive before the other one or two, so he could get some time with James before his attention would be taken off of him. Elias was desperate to socialize, but he didn’t want to be selfish. That didn’t stop him from swiftly joining the two, and James paused his story to greet him. Afterwards, he introduced him to his friend, Mark, a fellow British man who came to Germany with James for a job opportunity.
As soon as they were done with introductions, James launched himself back into his story. Elias had already ordered a water that was now sitting in front of him, and he absentmindedly stirred it with the plastic straw as the conversation beside him turned into white noise.
He hadn’t thought about Marius in quite a long while, so it was strange for his thoughts to drift over to him. Is he doing okay? Does he miss me? Does he miss Dominic? Elias slightly hoped that he was missed, moreso to get back at Marius than anything, but in the back of his mind, he knew that Marius was probably over both of them and already got a new partner and best friend. He didn’t want to think about that.
When a figure slid into the seat across from him, Elias’s train of thought crashed. The eyes he met when he slid his gaze up he had not been expecting, and a chorus of feelings he hadn’t felt in a long while crashed over him like a wave and made his body go cold yet hot at the same time. He remembered the pain, the confusion, and the fluttery feeling of butterflies, and they all came back to him at that moment, mixing together into a horribly sick concoction. He was frozen in time, unable to speak or do anything for that matter. It was only broken when a simple word was uttered from the man watching him with an unreadable stare; a word coated in a German accent that he knew all too well yet not at all that turned him to jello and forced all the breath out of his body. Dominic.
“Hey.”