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Mitsuba had to live with the shame everyday that her selfishness had caused her squad leader to die. She was selfish, selfish, selfish. There was a time to fight and a time to back down, and she hadn’t done it. She’d been so cocky and sure of herself that she’d let her team down. The thought haunted her.
Which was why she did not appreciate the way Shinoa kept bringing it up to her. In passing when they were walking together, at night when she was trying to go to sleep, even in the shower for god’s sake. It was irritating to no end. Mitsuba already knew she was supposed to feel bad about things, and she did. She didn’t need to be reminded of it every time she breathed.
Still, she found it hard to be angry at Shinoa for it. She was just stating the facts. The only person that Mitsuba had to be ashamed of was herself. She felt it burning up inside of her, boiling over to the point where it would explode. Maybe it would be the next time Shinoa asked about it, or the next. But at some point, she was going to burst, and only then would she maybe start to feel some relief.