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As always, the smell of Mei's perfume was sweet and flowery. It usually comforted Linh, with its promise that she would be nearby, close to her. Today it didn't. It weighted down her heart.
“Which lip gloss should I wear? Pink or coral?”
Mei didn't seem to notice her unhappiness. She was always a little oblivious, especially when distracted. Linh was glad she didn't. Despite her heartache, she was happy to see Mei excited. The whole afternoon she had rambled on about her date, how sweet she thought him to be and how she was delighted to dress up for it. Linh would have never wanted to take that away from her.
So with her best attempt at fake nonchalance she shrugged her shoulders and said: “Are you seriously asking me for makeup advice?”
Mei looked up at her from her spot on the carpet with her doe eyes, a chuckle escaping her throat. Linh couldn't help but smile at the sound.
“You're right. You know, I think I will go with coral. Goes better with my outfit.”
“If you say so.”
While Mei was applying the gloss, Linh let herself fall back on the bed with a small sigh. She really shouldn't feel as miserable as she did. It was no surprise that somebody else would ask her friend out, as pretty and vivacious as she was. If it had just been her who'd had the guts for it. They had known each other for so long.
“I'm super excited for the movie! I know you wouldn't want to watch it, but I can't promise that I won't tell you about it later.”
I would have watched it with you.
Out of sudden, hot frustration built up in her chest and a second later tears were clouding her vision. Shit. Don't cry. Linh suppressed a sniffle and swiped her eyes with her sleeve before Mei could notice. Why was she so emotional about this? Her crush on Mei wasn't even that strong. Right?
“I hope it's not going take too long though. I still haven't started writing my term paper, ugh. I really have to start tomorrow.”
Linh didn't answer to that, too busy calming herself down from her stupid heartache. Before she could blink the last tears away though, Mei perked her head up.
“Are you okay? You're awfully quiet, even for your standards.”
She didn't even give Linh the chance to give her an half-assed excuse before rising to her feet and hovering above her. A gasp escaped her when she saw her sorry expression. “What's wrong? Are you crying?” She climbed on the bed and, as soon as Linh had sat up again in a hurry, embraced her in a tight hug.
“Why didn't you say something earlier? I don't want you to be sad.”
And I want you to be happy.
It was even harder now to hold back the tears, but it was strangely comforting, laying her chin on Mei's shoulders, breathing in the fruity smell of her hair.
“It's nothing, really.”, she muttered very unconvincingly.
“We both know that's not true.”, Mei replied just as quiet, devoid of all cheerfulness for once.
Linh pressed her lips together to fight back her tears. She shouldn't have agreed to have Mei coming over on that day. She really shouldn't have.
“I don't want to talk about this now. Please, Mei.”
The whispered words were honest, at least, and not all too untypical for her. She had never liked to talk about her feelings. Mei didn't respond for a few seconds and Linh already feared she wouldn't relent, but then, finally, she said: “Okay. Later?”
“...maybe.” That was probably a lie, but at the moment Linh would have said anything to end that conversation.
She felt Mei nod against her shoulder, but she didn't loosen to hug.
“I think you have to go now. Don't want you to be late for your date.”
Mei let go of her reluctantly and studied her openly. The eye contact forced Linh to blink and look away.
“Is it about the date?”, Mei asked so bluntly that Linh nearly flinched.
She couldn't help but stare at her after that question, wondering if Mei had noticed her infatuation and put the pieces together. Oh god, she didn't want to talk about this. Especially not in this moment.
“N-no. No, it's something else.”
Mei stared at her for a few more seconds, a strange expression lingering in her eyes.
“Do you want me to stay?” Linh's breath caught in her throat at the words.
“I mean, to comfort you and stuff. I don't want to go out and have fun while my friend is feeling down.”
Her friend. Of course.
A pathetic smile formed on her face. “No, please go. I want to be alone right now, anyway. And I want you to have a great time with your date.”
Mei still looked strangely hesitant, but nodded.
“Okay then. If you change your mind you can text me, okay? Or call, so I will notice right away.”
Linh's smile became more honest at the caring words. “I will.”
Mei's pressed her lips together nervously and gave her a smile that looked weirdly similar to her own.
“Alright then...I really need to go now, don't I?”
She chuckled, but it lacked her former cheerfulness. Linh immediately felt guilty. Surely Mei was too worried about her now to fully enjoy her date, the thing she had wanted to avoid the most. After she had grabbed her purse and applied another layer of lip gloss, they hugged again. Their parting hugs were usually short and fleeting, but this one was different, long and seemingly full of unsaid words. Linh didn't want to let go, didn't want Mei to go out with somebody else. The thought that she would be sitting next to some guy that evening and not her still made her feel ill. Mei herself didn't seem too keen on loosening the embrace either, her head pressed closely against Linh's.
“See you soon, right? We will text later, yeah?”
Linh nodded. “Yeah.”
It took both of them an eternity to let go, and after they did, they only had sad smiles to offer one another.
“Bye, then.”
“Bye. Have fun.”
“I will.” It didn't sound very convincing.
When the door closed between them, the heartache had successfully spread out.