Archive of Our Own ^beta

Lucifer 

• Okay. Who gave you the Demonus? 
• He's not mad. He just wants to know. 
• Syke. He's totally mad. 
• Whoever that poor soul is (see Mammon), is going to be hanging by their toes in the dungeons. 
• Anyway, Lucifer, seeing as there's nothing he could do about you now, will try and put you to bed. 
• But NOPE. NO. You had other things in mind. 
• "What are you doing here, MC?" 
• He's surprised that you're in his office. Didn't he just ask Mammon to put you in your room?
• He's busy. He doesn't have time to look after a drunk you. 
• "I won't make a sound, I promise. I'll just be here. Watching you work."
• He sighs. Fine™
• Truth be told, you were a human of your word and you don't bother him.
• Or so he thought… 
• When he sees that you're no longer moving from his couch, he walks over to you to see you sleeping. 
• He strokes the bangs away from your face when you suddenly grab his hand.
• "Sorry. Did I wake you?" 
• You stare up at him with half-lidded eyes before you put his hand properly against your cheek. 
• Loading… Loading… ERROR. 
• "Your hands are soft." you mumble into his palm. 
• Despite wearing gloves, he could feel your breath on his hand and it was hot
• He blushes big time. But he was quick to hide it before you could even notice. 
• "MC, you're drunk, we should put you to bed."
• "Only if you'll join me."
• WHAT™
• once he's registered what you just said and weighs in the fact that you're drunk he will shake his head in amusement
• "do you really wanna pull on that thread?" he teases you 
• but boy wasn't prepared when you nod and suddenly wrap your arms around his neck
• ABORT MISSION 
• "Luci, I wanna sleeep. " you demand with a pout that he's almost tempted to kiss you
• But no, you were drunk and he's a gentleman-demon. 
• "Then I'll take you back to your room."
• "Nooo… I wanna sleep with youuu... " you slur out 
• You broke him. Nice. 
• "Don't you wannaaa??" you ask and oh no oh shit there were tears in your eyes
• "I juss wanna cuddleee... " you pout and now you're crying
• Lucifer sighs. He can't win you. 
• "Alright. If that's all there is to it." 
• Your mood immediately switches and you're beaming at him
• You drag him by the hand to his bed and he lies down before you cuddle close to him
• You're out like a light after that
• He will then stroke your hair and sigh- "What am I gonna do with you?"

Mammon

• Oh boy. He can't even handle himself properly when you're normal affectionate.
• What more when you're drunk affectionate and you have no filter?? 
• "Mammon! Do you love me??"
• cue nonstop sputtering + red face + can't look you in the eye
• "O-Oy! What… What are you asking me all of a sudden MC?!"
• SEND HELP. he's dying inside. 
• "I'm asking if you love me!"
• You were both on the couch in his room and you suddenly climb on his lap 
• The gears on his tiny little brain are turning and he's about to explode
• "Heeeeyyy! Look at meeee!" 
• You grab his face and turn him towards you so he's forced to look at you and damn all hell he's going to die now
• He can't move though because you're on his lap- "MC… g-get off... "
• He tries. And fails. 
• "NOOOO! not until you tell me you love me!" You pout and he's just… 
• DONE™
• someone needs to burst into his door and help him because he's not gonna survive all this affection 
• "I… I... "
• Before he can say anything, you cut him off- "Aw! I love you too!" 
• You cuddle him closer, you're clinging to him like a koala and now he's dead
• He is NEVER going to give you Demonus again. 

Leviathan

• "Levvvviiii!! Who do you love more? Me or Ruri-chan!?"
• WHAT™
• "S-Shut up, MC! you're drunk."
• he's just as flushed as you are except he didn't drink
• This is all your fault 
• "No, I'm not drunk! You're drunked!"
• You accuse him and he's almost tempted to laugh until you hurl a pillow at his face
• "You love Ruri-chan more than me don't you?! Is that why you won't kiss me yet?" 
• He's dead. 
• If you put a tomato right next to his face you wouldn't be able to tell the difference 
• He doesn't look you in the eye until he hears you sniffling and he immediately panics™
• "Wha- MC! Don't cry! I do love you more than Ruri-chan okay?!" 
• He blurts it out in one go and it's amazing he's still standing upright 
• "Really???" you beam up at him and he hides his face with his hand before he nods. 
• "I knew it! I love you too you know!?"
• *windows error noises*
• Is he asleep? Nope. He fainted.

Satan

• He's chill on the outside. Amused on the inside. 
• He didn't think a whole bottle of Demonus could get you drunk so fast but then again you're human. 
• He will try and give you some coffee, or anything to dial down the alcohol in your system.
• But NO. No coffee. Only hugs. 
• When you start demanding affection, he is lost. 
• Send help. He doesn't know what to do now. 
• Satan is not physically affectionate to anyone. He's good with words and comforting silences. Not this. 
• When you hug him from behind while burying your head on his back, he freezes. 
• "Saaattaann!" you call for his attention and he turns around. 
• You don't let him go though. 
• "I think you're really great!" 
• He will laugh because wow you're honest. But then… 
• "You're cool. You're smart. You're handsome. And it's like you always know what you're doing!" 
• Ha. That's where you're wrong. Right now, he doesn't know what he's doing. 
• "You flatter me." He tries to humor you. 
• "it's true! That's why I like you so much!"
• Loading… Loading… ERROR.
• "You wha- You like me?" 
• "Yeah! Oh no, wait… I don't like you... "
• Make up your mind, human
• "I love you!"
• Fuck. No. Go back. 
• He's taken by surprise at your sudden boldness that he forgets how to function.

Asmodeus

• Lol. He's also an affectionate drunk what are you on
• He definitely knows how to handle you
• He's been this way before and his brothers can prove it
• When you start clinging to him and hugging him he will reciprocate
• He's the sweetest so he will try to put you to sleep
• But when you don't comply then it's still okay
• "So, my little angel, what do you wanna do?" 
• "I don't knooooww.." 
• He will laugh at how cute you are when slurring but he will make sure that you're comfortable.
• When you decided to just lie in bed and cuddle, he will be more than happy to
• "Hey. Asmo?? Do you like me?" 
• He will play with your hair as he chuckles before giving you a kiss on the cheeks
• "I love you, my sweet angel."

Beelzebub

• "MC, are you okay?" 
• "Of course I am, Beel! It's because you're here with me!" 
• Okay™
• He doesn't realize the danger he's in when you're drunk
• He's about to
• The moment you start to just… be all over him, he will lose it. 
• You poke his cheek, "Beel?" 
• "Yes?" he turns and when he sees that YOU'RE. TOO. CLOSE. he will back away a little and blush
• Will still try to function and be polite. 
• "Why are you so cute?" 
• His face turns pink and whatever it is he's eating will fall off his hands
• "I… I don't… think… I am." 
• he will look away from you
• You put your hands on his face and turn him back towards you and great he's not functioning now
• "I think you are cute, Beel! You're also the sweetest, you're the kindest and you're the strongest!"
• Error. Error. *ambulance siren noises*
• "Thank… thank you, MC. Can… can you let go of… my face?" 
• "Nope! I love how I fit in your giant arms, Beel." 
• You flop on his lap and lean against his chest because he's comfy™
• Beel's gone. You took down a giant. Great work. 

Belphegor

• He honestly doesn't care.
• At first. 
• So you were drunk. It's funny seeing you stumble around like an idiot. 
• He'll ask you the dumbest questions because somehow you always have an opinion about it
• It's funny. You're an honest drunk as well. 
• It stops being funny when you start to become affectionate towards his brothers. 
• He will get mad. And he will drag you away and back to his room in the attic. 
• Not his room with Beel because he doesn't want to share you right now. 
• "Belphhhiiiieee! Why did we have to go???" you whine at him 
• Stupid Human™
• As soon as he mumbles that, he regrets it because you start crying 
• Oh shit™
• "You're… you're so mean, Belphie! I thought you liked me!" 
• Fuck™
• He sighs as he slumps on his bed, exhausted. 
• "Come here." he motions for you to come closer and you sniff before walking towards him. 
• He pulls you down to sit on his lap and he brushes your bangs away from your face
• "I don't like you, you idiot." 
• You were about to cry again but he wipes your cheeks with his thumb
• "I love you."
• His face was slightly pink but if you suddenly squealing and hugging him close was the outcome of it then it's totally worth it

Side Characters:

Diavolo

• He's a gentleman-demon about it that's for sure. 
• The moment he realizes that you're drunk, he will ask either Barbatos or one of the brothers to look after you. 
• What he didn't expect was you wanting to hang around him
• He humors you, of course. 
• If you were going to be with him then he might as well keep a close eye on you
• "My lord, your highness, your grace, your excellency." 
• You start addressing him in the most ridiculous titles possible that he bursts out laughing 
• "Yes, MC?" 
• "I have several questions." you walk over to him and sit really close
• "First, why is your hair red? Why are you really tall? Why are you called the prince? Where's the king? Who's the queen? Is there a jack?"
• You ask all these questions and he answers them all with a smile on his face
• He finds you amusing. 
• "Thank you for picking me to be in RAD. this place is great." 
• Now, he knows you're drunk but he can tell that there was no lie in your words 
• He will kiss your hand as a formal prince does and you will giggle and try to do the same
• "That's not how that works, MC. let's put you to bed."

Barbatos

• Confused™
• He knows you're drunk. What he doesn't understand is your sudden fondness of him. 
• "Barbiiieeee!"
• *cue uncontrollable laughter from Diavolo*
• *Lucifer sighs in the distance*
• "I… I am Barbatos???"
• "Nope. You're Barbiiieeee. Butler Barbie."
• He will try to take care of you even if it's not his responsibility 
• It's because he's a gentleman-demon™
• Also, he doesn't mind taking care of you because- "drunk MC is way more cooperative than drunk Diavolo"
• He will give you some coffee or some ramen to help dial down the alcohol
• You politely accept the ramen because- "Barbie made it! I love everything Barbie makes!" 
• You smile up at him and he's got a blush on his face while muttering a soft thank you.
• However, he turned his back for a minute and then you start crying
• Panic™
• "What is it? What's wrong? Is the food not good?"
• You had him thinking he poisoned you by accident, you dweeb. Pull yourself together. 
• You look up at Barbatos, mouth full of food- "It tastes so gooooood!"
• He sighs in relief but is super confused
• Then why are you crying????? 
• "This ramen is super good I can't stop crying!!! I love iiittt!" 
• he stares at you blankly for a second before he bursts out laughing 
• "you're one weird human."

Simeon

• WHY ARE YOU DRUNK???? WHO GAVE YOU DEMONUS???? 
• rest assured, whoever did it (see Mammon) will have an earful from him
• Can't they tell that humans are delicate? And that your bodies can't handle Devildom liquor?? 
• "I'm fiiiinnnneee Simeooonnnn" 
• "No, you are not. I am going to put you straight to bed and I will go over to the House of Lamentation to talk to Lucifer."
• His protective older brother mode has been switched on
• That mode applies to you and Luke most of the time
• He offers you some hot tea and soup and puts you to bed but NOPE. 
• "Nooo! Don't leave meeee!"
• You start crying and making grabby hands at him
• "MC, go to sleep, I need to have words with the brothers."
• "Noooooo! Stay heeerrreee!!" 
• You are demanding™ and he gives up because there are tears in your eyes
• He stays with you as you start to talk about random shit that isn't interconnected at all and he finds it amusing
• Suddenly you're clinging to him like a koala and you squish his face in between your hands
• "Angels are so pretty. Simeon, you're the prettiest angel ever. When I was human, did I have guardian angels with me?"
• "MC, you are human."
• *dramatic gasp* "I AM????"
• He laughs at you because you're so silly (see also 'an idiot')
• "I am your guardian angel. And this angel is telling you to go to sleep."
• "Okay."
• Just like that. You're out. 

Luke

• Annoyed™
• Why would you drink Demonus when it's clearly tailored for demons, not humans
• He will scold you
• It doesn't matter if you're like, taller than him. He will be angey.
• "MC, are you crazy?!"
• Ah. Yes. Possibly. 
• His scolding will only stop once you start crying because- "My little brother hates me!!! What do I do now??? Simeon! He hates me!!!" 
• You cry into Simeon's arms and Luke panics™
• "What are you crying for??? I don't hate you!"
• "You don't??? But you're angry at me! And I don't like it!" 
• You pout and he just… gives up™
• He looks away with a frown but he opens his arms for you and your smile brightens before you crash into him
• "Oi! Be careful will you???"
• "Weee! I love you, Luke! You're the best baby brother ever!"
• "I-I'm not a baby!"
• He protests but he sighs when you just hug him tighter. 
• "Simeon… Simeon I can't get up… help me… Simeon stop laughing! No, don't walk away!"

Solomon

• LMAO. you're both human so you're both drunk. 
• Good luck to your babysitters.
• Solomon has some magic in him so maybe he's a bit more cooperative than you are
• You're both chaotic bless your souls
• You're clingy and he's fine with it
• He will fuel the fire
• MC: I'm gonna jump off this table! 
• Simeon/Luke: MC, no!
• Solomon: do a flip! 
• You climb on Solomon's back and you zoom to wherever you wanna go
• "Weee! Bumper cars!"
• Those are not bumper cars, that was Solomon crashing through walls
• "Solomon, I think you're really great! I mean you have sparkles!"
• What™
• "Do you mean magic?"
• "Yes! Magic sparkles! You're smart and you're strong too! You're the coolest human! I wish I could be just like you."
• He softens and pats your hair
• "I think you're perfect just the way you are."
• "Isn't that a popular song from back in the human world?"
• Because you wouldn't let go of him, he ends up piggyback riding you everywhere 
• He's now exhausted™
• He drops on the couch and you cuddle close to him and he's surprised at first but then relaxes right after
• When the demon brothers catch wind of this they are furious 
• But they can't do anything against him because- "NO! Don't hurt him! He's my friend! I will cry if you hurt him!"
• News flash: you're already crying and the demon brothers have no choice but to let him go
• They all make a mental note not to give you alcohol again