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There weren't many things that separated Lumine from her twin. They were twins, after all. It was in their very nature to be similar - they had always been two halves of the same whole. With an absent father and a sick mother, it had always been just the two of them, taking on the world together. Aether understood Lumine like no other.
One thing, however, was always in between them. One thing that Aether would never understand, no matter how much he wanted to.
Lumine's dreams.
It wasn't a completely unheard of thing, to have dreams of a past life. Some people chalked it up to nonsense; to the brain processing something in its life in a different way. Some people truly believed that souls were always in cycles, going back and forth from the over world to Earth, until they had grown tired and needed rest.
The twins weren't sure what they believed, or what to think. All Lumine knew is that sometimes, for some reason, she felt like she had done all of this before. In a very different way, but all of it was familiar. The people they had befriended, the city they lived in… sometimes she would know things that she had no business knowing. Xiao's favorite dessert, or the name of the plush bunny Amber had been gifted as a child.
But there was always something missing, Lumine thought. Someone, or something, that wasn't there; that hadn't shown up in their lives yet. She couldn't quite place it, but it was a lonely feeling. It felt much like she had the first night that Aether had spent at a friend's house without her, like a limb was missing but she could still feel it, sometimes.
It was something she learned to live with.
"I'm going out for coffee, do you want anything?" Lumine asked, twirling her keys in her hand.
Aether didn't even bother looking up from his phone. It was Sunday, which meant it was time for her weekly routine, and they both knew it. She'd leave the apartment to get out for a little bit, and wind up sitting in the coffee shop down the street for three or four hours reading. Asking Aether for an order as more for show than anything else. It would either be cold by the time she made it home or wouldn't be necessary.
"See you later, Lumi," Aether called, giving her a wave. "Don't stay out too late!" It was winter now; the days were much shorter. Even now as adults, her brother still didn't like letting her walk home at night.
She rolled her eyes. "Text me if you need anything." His protectiveness was endearing, if misguided. They'd both taken those self defense classes, as she was so keen to remind him.
With the elevator in their building still under repairs, Lumine began her trek down the stairs. Winter in Mondstadt wasn't as bad as it was in some other parts in Teyvat, so she wasn't bundled too tightly. She'd heard from Barbara, her friend Jean's little sister - and aspiring actress - that Snezhnaya winters were brutal. Lumine had always wanted to travel, but with the current situation, Barbara's stories of the country would have to do for now.
Once she reached the outside world, she couldn't help but smile brightly. Fresh air always did her some good. Even if that air was dry and cold. For the first time that day, she felt as if she were able to breathe.
Though she didn't know why, some days, Lumine struggled with being inside. She struggled with not being able to move freely, with not being able to run around and just go. Aether never seemed to be burdened by staying in one place, not like she was. Despite that, the same need to move was nestled deep within his heart - hence their joint self defense classes.
Patting her cheeks to wake herself up, she picked up the pace a little. Maybe, if she were lucky, Venti would be working again. Her best friend had said he was picking up shifts lately.
It was not, in fact, Venti at the counter.
The boy that was there was beautiful. Too pretty, honestly, and he acted and looked like he knew it. His red hair was messy, looking like it hadn't been brushed since he was a kid, but even with that he was still cute. It would be a hard feat not to be at least a little attractive with eyes as deep a blue as his, though. Lumine scowled.
The boy grinned widely at her, expression almost cheeky. "What's your name, pretty girl?" He asked, waggling the cup he was holding in front of her.
Lumine was practically speechless. Every Sunday, she sat here for hours. Every single week! How had she never seen this person before? It's not like they were short staffed - well, Venti complained about it all the time, but Venti was lazy. There hadn't been a WE'RE HIRING sign anywhere. She definitely would've noticed that before. And it wasn't like it was just a weekly thing. Lumine stopped in this particular store maybe three or four times a week to grab something to go outside of her usual sit down days.
She blinked, trying to force herself to speak. There wasn't a line behind her - part of the reason she enjoyed going on Sundays - so at least she had a little bit of time before looking like a complete idiot.
Instead of answering his question, she narrowed her eyes. It wasn't in her nature to be rude to service workers, even if they were as… annoying as this one seemed to be. A quick glance at his name tag told her he went by Childe. What a weird name.
"It's Lumine," she said after a long moment, crossing her arms. "I've never seen you here before."
His smiling was disarming. And also completely fake. "Well, that's because I just moved here. I'm old friends with Zhongli," he explained, "so he hooked me up with this gig. I didn't realize I'd meet someone so pretty on my first day. I'll try not to mess up your order." Every word out of his mouth was clearly practiced, almost as if he rehearsed how to talk to people in the mirror every day before he left his house. Lumine wasn't at all sure what to make of it.
She bristled. "Please do not," is what she finally settled on, and Childe laughed a little at her. Usually, she'd take pity on a new person and give them her least complicated order. For some reason she wasn't feeling quite so gracious today.
The blue of his eyes seemed to catch the light a little. "I do so like a challenge."
Even her brother, corrupted as he was, afforded her a moment. She dropped her sword, not bothering to dematerialize it, and it clattered to the ground. The silence afterwards was deafening, but she paid it no mind. Shooting forward, she fell to the ground next to Childe.
"Why did you do that?" Lumine demanded, moving to rest his head on her knees. Blood stained her white dress - there was so much of it, everywhere. She didn't know where to put her hands. She didn't know what to do at all, besides just look at him and pray. "I don't understand, Childe. Why?"
The more she spoke, the more she choked on her own tears. But Childe just smiled up at her, as if he weren't bleeding out on her lap. "I thought I told you to call me Ajax, pretty girl," was all he said, bringing a shaky hand up to her cheek. "But this isn't where your story ends. It can't be." His voice was weak, and his eyes were closed, as if it were painful to keep them open.
Lumine sobbed openly now. "No, this isn't right. This isn't fair. You can't just leave me like this." she didn't even know what she was saying anything, one hand clutching his own for dear life.
Ajax laughed, though it sounded more like it was just a release of air. "When you conquer the world for me, I'll meet you again. I promise."
She shook her head rapidly. The ends of her hair stuck to the wetness on her face. "No, no, Ajax, no." if she kept repeating it, maybe some of her power would flow back through her. Maybe she would have enough to heal him, to bring him back.
"You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life," Ajax started, the words coming out slowly.
"Stop talking," Lumine gritted out. "Save your strength. Please."
He, of course, paid her no mind. Even during his own death, he was always marching to the beat of his own drums. "You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice."
She realized, then, as he continued, that there was no saving him. This was really it for Ajax. Her powers weren't coming back, there was nobody else there to heal him - Aether certainly wouldn't, even if her corrupted brother was kind enough to allow her this last moment with him.
Closing her eyes, Lumine forced herself to breathe. She would be strong for him, if that's what he wanted. "The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again."
He smiled again, his hand losing all muscle tone in hers. "That's my girl. I'll be waiting for you."
And as he took his final breath, Lumine could only remember screaming.
Gold met blue. Lumine recoiled in shock, her hand feeling like it had just been burned. These dreams, those kinds of images, they'd been happening to her for her entire life, but never quite so detailed. That felt like a memory, of a life she'd never lived. Of a person she didn't know - had that really been her? Had that really been him, the barista behind the counter, staring at her with his lips parted and the hand holding her drink shaking ever so slightly?
Without thinking, she snatched the drink from him, returning to where she'd left her stuff in her usual chair. She put the cup down on the counter, mind reeling from what had just happened. Had he seen it too? The way he looked at her after she snapped back into reality told her yes, but she couldn't be sure. Maybe he had just been surprised the weird girl who he'd been jokingly flirting with had let his fingers touch her own for an elongated amount of time.
Lumine sighed to herself. Picking up her book again after that seemed silly. There was no way she'd be able to focus when her chest still hurt from that sudden surge of emotions. It was taking all her self control not to just start crying in the middle of the damn place, let alone be able to retain words on a page.
She stole a glance back at the ginger barista, who seemingly had gone back to making drinks and serving customers like nothing had ever happened. Though she didn't mean to, Lumine continued to watch him for a moment.
Everything he did, he seemed to do it with such confidence. Despite this apparently being his first day at the place, he had no trouble finding his way around or even making some of the more complex drinks the customers had asked for - her own included. One sip told her he'd done it exactly the way Venti did. Maybe he'd worked at a coffee shop before moving here?
He caught her eye, then. And just for a moment, his smooth movements faltered. On any other day, Lumine might have laughter, or at least thrown an innocent looking smile his way for catching him off guard. Instead, she just watched, and observed; taking in the way his own cheeks finally flushed, the color spreading to the tips of his ears, and the way he stared right back at her, completely unabashed.
The smile he gave her was wide, but much less for show then the one he'd given her earlier. Now, it almost looked as if he knew her. Like he was already familiar with who she was, how she worked, and he was already comfortable with it all.
It made Lumine shift in her seat, somewhat uneasy. Did he know her? If he had seen what she had seen, maybe he did - she'd never put much thought into those dreams, or what they meant, or even the knowledge and understanding she'd seemed to just pull out of thin air about the world around her. Aether had always found it more unsettling then she had. So what if things seemed familiar, if she seemed to have knowledge about people she was only meeting for the first time, or any of the other side effects? She'd lived with the knowledge for as long as she could remember.
But this was new. Never had it been such a vivid experience, and never had it so purposefully centered around one person like that. And had that been Aether, that had stood there watching them, that had…
She gulped, forcing her eyes away from Childe. In that vision, her own twin had been the run to cut right through him like he was made of butter. The thought made her sick to her stomach. If Lumine were to believe that she was seeing her past life, did that mean that she and Aether were once at odds in such a drastic way? That she would really fight her own twin in earnest?
Shaking herself, Lumine tried to keep herself grounded and in the present. Whatever happened, happened. It didn't really matter what had occurred a lifetime ago anyways. Nobody else seemed to remember, when she met people, so why would it matter if she did? Maybe she was making it all up. It was a theory Aether had been keen on for years when they were younger and she was starting to creep people out.
Despite that, she couldn't help but wonder. He did seem familiar, in a way that made her uncertain of everything. From his mannerisms to his boyish grin when she'd first walked into the place, Lumine could swear that she had once memorized those exact features on a person - as if she was afraid of losing them, or something. As if she were afraid they might not be around forever.
When her eyes met Childe's again completely by accident, she had a feeling it might matter. Even if just a little.
Since when he looked at her now, he seemed to be having the same thought her heart was pounding on repeat.
I finally found you.
She looked away, and could've sworn she heard Childe laugh.
The next time she saw him, his grin was a little wider and a little less forced. "Hey, pretty girl," he greeted, sliding into the seat across from her after taking his apron off. "Fancy meeting you here again."
Lumine scowled, but she was positive the effect was ruined by the way she blushed at the intrusion. "I started coming here before you'd even moved here," she reminded him bluntly, raising her book a little higher so maybe he wouldn't catch the red on her cheeks. "What do you want?" Though her words might've sounded a little aggressive to someone else, for whatever reason, Childe just laughed. She bristled at the sound.
"We can skip all this if you want." Childe's voice was suddenly serious, and Lumine wasn't sure what to make of the change. "I know you saw it too, last time. I know you remember."
Her eyes widened for a split second before she frowned at him. "Remember what?" She said, genuinely unsure of what he meant. "I mean, it's nice to know I'm not crazy," she paused, trailing off for a moment as she finally lowered her book to the table, "but I really don't know who you are, past whatever I guess you saw, too."
It wasn't a lie. Since Lumine had met Childe last time, there had been no more dreams. No more weird memories of him dying at her side, of him taking blows that had clearly been meant for her, of him smiling and telling her that they would meet again someday.
Of him promising it, like nothing in the universe would keep him from doing so.
She was too lost in her own thoughts to catch the flicker of disappointment on his face. "You don't remember me at all?" He asked, and she could've sworn his breath hitched a little. Time seemed to slow around them, the world seemed to fall out of view. Soon, it was just Childe staring at Lumine, and Lumine could do nothing but stay caught in his eyes.
No, she really didn't remember. But her heart certainly did; with the way it sped up and made her feel like she should be lunging for the boy across the table. With the way everything he did seemed to line up so perfectly with some unknown image that she'd already created of him. As if she knew this person inside and out, as if…
As if they really had been looking for each other for a long, long time.
When she didn't respond, Childe smiled. This time, though, it was a little strained. "You wound me," he said, dramatically leaning over his his hand over his heart. She didn't laugh, and he didn't break character. "Oh, well. To be honest, I don't remember much else myself," he continued, and she narrowed her eyes a bit at the admission. "But I remember knowing you. I remember dying for you." He said the word with practiced nonchalance, but Lumine flinched at it. She remembered him dying for her, too, even if she remembered little else. "Maybe we should touch again, and see what happens."
It wasn't supposed to sound so suggestive, and Lumine knew it, but she couldn't help but grow warm at the words. They had only brushed their fingers. Over a stupid cup of… whatever it had been that she'd ordered last week. There was no reason for her to take it any other way.
Yet her mind still wandered, and Childe's smile turned wolfish, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking about. Her glare deepened.
Before she could react, he reached out across the table, plucking one of her hands up into his own. Lumine squeaked, but couldn't find it in her to pull away.
Her knuckles were turning white. Paimon looked at her in worry, but Lumine paid her friend no mind. "We don't have to keep doing this, you know," she said, her voice shaky as she struggled to keep the air in her lungs. "You can stop, and we can…"
Though she couldn't see his face with the blasted mask in front of it, she knew he would be giving her a sly smile. "We could what, pretty girl?" Childe stalked towards her, electro pole arm vibrating the air around him with static. Electro was always a more unstable element, like Pyro, but the Delusion just made it worse. It was much like the mutated slimes she'd see occasionally. "I could take you out to all those nice Liyue restaurants and feed you and your little fairy on Fatui money, we could play at friendship, and then I could creep around and steal the gnosis without you ever having to know to keep it up? Where's the fun in that?" He laughed, then, and it took every ounce of willpower in Lumine not to flinch away from the manic sound.
"It wasn't all fake," Lumine said, pleading now. "We were friends! You don't have to do this, Childe! We can- we can-"
"You don't even know what you want, Outlander," he cut her off, shaking her head as he separated the pole arm once more. The dual blades at his side hissed, waiting to be sliced through something. Namely her. "You're right, it wasn't all fake. I did quite enjoy my time with you. But unfortunately now, that time has come to an end. I will take the gnosis and be done with this, and you."
The words were harsh. Much colder than she'd ever heard him, in the months and months of traversing Liyue with him and preparing for the Rite of Passing. Childe was always an easygoing person, never one to hide behind the schemes of the other Harbingers. He'd told her once that he preferred to do everything at face value - if there was a fight to be had because of it, all the better. And even hearing him now, saying that their friendship had not been faked but that he would carry on with his duty… It sparked at least a little bit of hope within her.
Paimon nervously fidgeted at her side, before opting out of saying anything and smartly returning to her own pocket space. Lumine appreciated it. Not having to worry about her companion getting injured meant that she could go all out.
She steeled her grip on her weapon, along with her will. "Okay, Tartaglia," she said, breathing in and out slowly to calm her nerves. "Let's fight, then!"
What she hadn't expected was for him to teleport upwards, find out the gnosis wasn't there at all, and instead turn to her in fury. She wasn't expecting his enraged transformation; his whole body quaking with Abyssal energy, all that rage directly solely at her. She wasn't expecting to have to beat him within an inch of his life, while she clung on to her own for dear life.
She wasn't expecting him to wake up an ancient god from the bottom of the ocean near Liyue Harbor, laughing the whole way through it. She wasn't expecting him to tell her point blank that he had somehow enjoyed their battle, and that he would consider them friends so long as she sought out power as he did.
She wasn't expecting to fall to her knees, Paimon hovering over her in concern, completely emotionally drained. She wasn't expecting to allow herself but a moment to sob in earnest before picking herself up off the ground and continuing to defend Liyue and its people. To continue to defend a world that she still barely knew anything about, that she would not be staying in, that had taken her brother from his place at her side.
But Lumine wouldn't hesitate. She would fight that stupid monster with the Adepti and the Qixing. She would fight the awful hoards of Fatui soldiers, quaking in their shoes as they stood atop of the elemental platform with the rain coming down on them in sheets. She would watch in pain as the Jade Palace would crash into the ocean, taking down Osial with it.
She would not cry again until she wound up at the Northland Bank, watching as Childe find out he'd been used just as she had; that they were both just pawns in a plan much, much larger then they could ever dream to be on Teyvat.
And in a few weeks, if she ended up coming across Childe's little brother and forcibly reuniting with the Eleventh Harbinger Tartaglia, well, she wouldn't cry then, either. And she certainly wouldn't cry when he asked, months later after she still couldn't find her way into Inazuma, if she would allow him to join her on her travels.
"I have to go," Lumine said as soon as she came to, snatching her hand back and shoving her book into her bag. Without waiting for Childe to react, she pushed the chair in noisily, turning away from him in a rush.
What had that been? It was like months had flashed before her eyes. A quick glance at the watch on her wrist told her that it had only been a few minutes since he'd joined her, not at all the hours she thought had passed. It wasn't even dark out yet; the winter sun in Mondstadt sitting low in the sky. But what she had seen had not just been a flash, had not just been a moment frozen in time. What she had seen had been a lot more then that.
How had they managed to get from there to the very first thing she had seen? They must have known each other quite well, for her body and heart to already be missing his presence as she left the store, but the first half of that memory had told her otherwise. They had been fighting, sword and weird weapon made of a sparkling purple mass clashing without a care in the world.
Electro, her mind unhelpfully supplied. Lumine had no idea what that meant, but she remembered. She remembered knowing it wasn't a normal element, as if using them was something she'd grown accustomed to, but then again, in that same memory, she'd used air to propel herself during the fight. She'd used the ground to create chunks of rock, strategically placing them all around the battlefield.
Her head pounded. There was too much information, too much going on. Too much to take in, and worst of all was knowing that Childe himself get seeking her out. The fact that he'd waited to take his break until she had arrived and immediately chosen to sit next to her told her all she needed to know about that. Even Venti said that anytime he'd mentioned her, Childe would actually become invested in their conversation, asking questions and wanting to see whatever stupid Instagram pictures they'd taken together over the week.
"He totally has a crush on you," Venti had told her a few days ago over the phone, and Lumine had laughed outright. "He totally does, don't deny it!"
Lumine remembered rolling her eyes. "We've met a few times, Venti," she had replied, irritated he'd even suggest something so ridiculous. "He doesn't even know me well enough to like me beyond superficially yet."
But it looks like she had been wrong about that. He did know her, or at least, knew her in the same way she had known him. He knew her intimately and intrinsically, but the her from another time - he didn't know her likes or dislikes now, how she liked to lounge in the house in her pajamas and read and read and read, or how she felt so much better outside and moving and longed to travel or even that her favorite color was blue or that her favorite breakfast food was oatmeal. He didn't know any of that, but he had known, once. He had known just as she had, the kind of person she was and could be and will be in the future. Had known her well enough and had loved her enough to step in front of a blade without a second thought, allowing himself to be killed just for the sake of keeping her alive.
She barely made it around the corner of the coffee shop before a wrist clamped down on her hand. Tensing, she prepared to kick whoever her assailant was but they quickly let go now that she had stopped. Childe put up his hands in an attempt to get her not to attack him, looking at her with concerned blue eyes and a frown.
"Wait, Lumine, please," he said, the sadness in his tone make her heart feel like it had sunken to the bottom of her stomach. "I… I know that this is really weird, like really weird," he continued, laughing a little as one of his hands crept up to rub at his neck, "but I want to be your friend. I think we were supposed to meet again, somehow, and I want to get to know you again. Here, and now, I mean."
Lumine searched his face, scrutinizing everything twitch he made. She'd never been good at telling lies, nor had she ever been good at figuring out when someone was lying to her, so it was important to her that she try very hard this time around.
But when she was done in her assessment, she really couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. Childe was just… Childe. He stayed there and let her inspect him, completely unperturbed at the treatment he was getting. He clearly wanted her to trust him, no matter what it took. She couldn't lie and say that she didn't find that even the slightest bit endearing.
"What if I never want to see you again, Childe?" She asked finally, crossing her arms tightly in front of her, equal parts attempted defiance and self comfort. "What if I want these weird dreams to stop, and to go back to my normal life without you in it?" It wasn't what she wanted, not really. Not with the way her heart screamed out in her chest at the idea of never seeing this person before.
She had to know, though, how seriously he took her word. If they were to be friends, she didn't want him using their unconventional past against her. After that last memory, where they had clearly been at odds in a fight for their lives at some point, Lumine couldn't help but be wary.
Childe, however, just smiled. "Call me Ajax," he told her. "It's my given name. I don't use it much here because I wanted to start fresh, but I think I'd like for you to call me that. And if you never want to see me again after that, I'll live. I won't force you to do anything you don't want, pretty girl."
Before she had the chance to doubt herself, Lumine stuck a hand out in front of her expectantly. "Lumine," she said, though they both obviously knew who she was. "Don't blow it, Ajax."
His smile grew impossibly soft. The way he gripped her hand told her that he wanted to be doing more, but he would take what he could get. She appreciated that. "I do so like a challenge," he said, and she couldn't help but return his smile with full wattage.