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"We need to break up"
Bakugou keeps hearing those words over and over in his head, even though he hasn't heard Eijirou actually saying it.
His heart is about to explode out of his chest, his mind screaming at him that all he does is screwing up as he tries to stop his palms from setting off explosions, which is really fucking hard since he doesn't feel in control of his body anymore.
The only thing that makes him feel like he's still conscious is feeling the air against his skin as he runs, looking in every damn room of their dorms for Eijirou.
He can't be found in his own room. There isn't even any book displayed on his bed where he usually studies.
He isn't in a corner of the chicken, where sometimes he tries to make the weirdest sandwiches, saying how he would create the perfect recipe.
The couch in the common room, where sometimes Eijirou dozes off without realizing it, is empty too.
That message is the last contact he had with Eijirou since he isn't even replying to his texts. No matter how many messages he sends, how many "let's talk" or "what happened" or "where are you?" he types, he isn't getting a fucking answer and it's driving him crazy.
He already knew he would fuck up, eventually, he just hopes he knew what the fuck he did wrong.
He tries to look back at the last few days, but he is definitely missing some piece because he has no idea of what the fuck happened.
They were doing so good, he thought they were, but maybe he's that kind of asshole that can see past his own nose. How is it possible he didn't see how unhappy Eijirou is?
He has to be unhappy to break up with him, and Bakugou can physically feel his heart shattering into a million tiny shards as he thinks he's the only one to blame for that
How many times he imagined the day Eijirou would break up with him. He feared his disappointed face, or maybe more than anything he was terrified Eijirou would eventually fall out of love.
Did he, in the end, fall out of love?
Bakugou doesn't think that's the case, but he wouldn't be that surprised. After all, he can't wrap his head around how lucky he got Eijirou chose an asshole like him.
And yet, something isn't adding up, maybe if only he knew what's going on, he could fix this, but maybe that's just a little hope he clings to in order to not start to scream.
That wouldn't be constructive and the last thing he needs is a fucking suspension.
He swallows as he reaches Mina's room, hoping with everything he has that Eijirou is with her, before he unapologetically kicks her door open
"Bakugou, what the fuck!!" Mina yells, at the same time Bakugou says "Is Eijirou here?"
She frowns in confusion, and he can see the exact moment she notices his worried eyes, her gaze fixing on his sparkling hands for a second before she locks their eyes, "I thought he was with you?" She says, tone uncertain
Bakugou scrubs at his eyes as he thinks this is a fucking waste of time. He's tempted to just scoff and storming out of her room to keep his research going, but he knows she's worried too and she isn't going to drop this until she at least gets the minimum amount of information from him
"He obviously fucking isn't" He scoffs, not really managing to keep his tearing emotions out of his voice.
He's telling himself he isn't going to break in front of her. He doesn't need this shit right now, all he needs is to find Eijirou and to talk to him.
"Did something happen?" She asks as she approaches him, placing a hand on his arm.
If her eyes weren't filled with worry, he would mistake that for pity, but maybe even in that case he wouldn't be so stupid to actually believe that.
She's his friend too, after all
He nervously presses his lips, his eyes fixing on the ground, "He broke up with me" He almost whispers, his voice weak, like he's afraid to hear his own words, as he finally closes his eyes.
He doesn't know what he was expecting, maybe a giggle in disbelief or maybe a light punch. However, he wasn't ready for his eardrums to almost explode hearing her shout
"WHAT?!"
"What the fuck are you yelling for?!" He yells back, his throat on fire and he knows it's not because of his screams.
Mina taps a foot on the floor, giving him a hard look, "Did he really dump you?"
He wrinkles his nose, annoyed by her choice of words
"You had no idea?" He asks as he runs a hand through his hair, before he lets his mind wander a little.
Didn't Eijirou tell her about his plans? About his doubts?
She's his friend and, as far as he knows, Eijirou doesn't have problems to talk with her about his stuff
"No!!" She squeals, almost shocked, before her face twists in a scowl that matches Bakugou's usual ones, "What did you do?!"
Her accusatory tone makes his stomach drop, but he can't really blame her. Everyone would think he fucked up and, frankly, despite not knowing what he did, he thinks so too.
"I don't even fucking know" He says, frustrated, before the door cracking open steals their attention
Eijirou?
"Oi, Mina—" Kaminari says, but he's soon cut off by them both
"Why does anyone burst into my room?!"
"Do you know where Eijirou is?"
Kaminari just raises an eyebrow at Mina, but his attention is quickly caught by Bakugou's question
"Didn't he come back yet?" He asks, frowning a little
That only makes Bakugou more anxious, "From where?!"
"He said he was going out for a walk like, a hour ago"
"ALONE?!" He can't help but yelling, almost sorry as he sees Kaminari flinching
"I don't think he's still out, it's raining" Mina says, ignoring his question, as her eyes are glued on her window
Kaminari just nods, scratching at the back of his neck as he gives him an apologetic look, "Yeah, I think he went alone"
Bakugou nervously runs a hand through his hair, gritting his teeth so hard he almost hears his jaw click, "Fuck" He breathes, before he quickly storms out of the room.
He doesn't even pick up an umbrella as he thinks that Eijirou might be alone outside with a storm upcoming. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He at least hopes he's right about where he could be right now, since there aren't many places he goes to when he's upset and the park next their dorms seems to be the best option
"We need to break up"
Fucking Eijirou who won't talk to him, keeping pretending everything is fine even when the world is burning. Fuck, it's not like Bakugou is any better, they both have to improve in this communication shit.
"We need to break up"
Who the fuck is even "we" ? Because it's obvious none of them is better off this way, none of them is happier, that's for sure.
He runs under the rain, trying to not glide on the ground, gritting his teeth as all he can hear is his heartbeat. Fuck, probably he wouldn't even hear a car coming his away, too worried for Eijirou to notice what is happening around him.
The only good thing is the park is actually close, and he doesn't have to run much until he finally gets a glimpse of Eijirou and he lets himself sigh in relief
He's on the grass, his face hidden on his knees as he embraces his legs, not really minding the pouring rain
"We need to break up"
As Bakugou carefully approaches him, he can't help but think that's the farthest thing from the truth
"What the fuck are you doing here?! It's fucking raining" He half yells, trying to make himself be heard over the rain
Eijirou pulls his head off his knees enough for Bakugou to see him pout, but not enough to look into his eyes
"Oi, I'm talking to you, you're going to catch a cold" He lectures him, kneeling in front of him, as if he wasn't in the exact same situation
Eijirou still refuses to look at him, but this time he manages to mumble something, "I don't care"
"You don't care" He hums, chocking an eyebrow, before his eyes soften with worry, "Ei, tell me what's wrong" He says softly, almost feeling his heart stuck in his throat
He hears a sniff, and when finally Eijirou lifts up his face, Bakugou notices his tear strained eyes.
"I don't have to tell you anything, I broke up with you, remember?" He argues bitterly, clenching his hands into fists.
"Yeah I fucking remember alright" He scoffs, his jaw setting, not really managing to not sound worried.
Eijirou's lips are wobbling, and he clutches to himself as if he was keeping himself from laying on the ground. Maybe tears are still streaming down his face, but it's hard to tell since the rain is falling on his face, too
Eijirou doesn't hold his gaze for long, and as soon as he tears his eyes off him, Bakugou puts two fingers under his chin to make him look at him, "Why did you, though?"
He chews on his lower lip, his wet lashes seems to be even longer than usual as he barely manages to keep his eyes open, looking down on the grass, "I don't love you anymore" He almost whispers, his voice too empty to sound convincing, like it's just a script he repeated in his head over and over again to remember words he doesn't really believe in
And neither does Bakugou
"That's bullshit" He rasps, and by the way Eijirou widens his eyes he knows he's right, so he keeps going
"You broke up with me through a damn text and now you can't even tell me this shit looking into my eyes?" He says, not sounding as harsh as he wanted to, as with a finger he wipes away a tear from Eijirou cheek.
He doesn't reply, placing his gaze on the ground again
"Eijirou, look at me"
He snaps his head up, his eyes vivid with something similar to anger, "Fuck you, it's over, alright?" He says through gritted teeth, and Bakugou isn't sure who he's trying to convince out of the two of them, "It's over. Leave me the fuck alone"
He lets out a breath, "Alright, yeah, I will" He says, before tilting his head on one side, " If you can look at me and say you don't love me anymore"
"I—" He starts, only for his voice to start cracking as he visible holds a sob back, his eyes closing shut as if to not let any other tear stream down his cheeks
Bakugou's heart breaks a little more at that sight, and he doesn't waste any more time as he shifts on the grass to drag Eijirou on his lap, glad that Eijirou isn't making any attempt to slide out of his embrace
"Ei.. what's wrong?" He asks softly, tracing a finger on his cheek. Eijirou isn't looking at him, but this doesn't stop Bakugou from pulling him even closer
"Did I do something wrong? Please tell me so I can fix this" He adds, pressing his lips against Eijirou's head.
He must be cold, who knows for how long he's been under the rain, but at least he's shivering a little less in his arms
"No.." Eijirou mumbles as he shakes a little his head
Bakugou blinks. His heart feeling heavy in his chest as he doesn't really trust his answer
"No what? Because I definitely did something wrong, I just don't know what. Ei, please—"
"You did nothing wrong" He insists, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence, still refusing to look at him.
"Then why?" He almost whispers, clueless
Eijirou pulls a little back to look at him, his gaze falling on Bakugou's lips before locking their eyes. Bakugou's stomach flips as he sees his eyes filled with fear, his pupils shrinking as he visibly holds his breath.
Bakugou reaches his cheek, trying to give him comfort as two fingers linger on his rain-kissed skin
"The sports festival starts tomorrow" He says, his voice barely above a whisper
Bakugou frowns in confusion, not getting what he means. He even forgot about the sports festival, "What does it have to do with us?"
Eijirou presses his lips, his eyes nervously going down and up before his gaze sets on his own hands, "It's the first time we participate since we're a couple" He mumbles, shrinking in on himself
Honestly, every word he says makes him more and more confused, "I still don't get the point, Ei" He says, his tone soft, as he gently runs his hand in Eijirou's hair
Eijirou stays silent as he sinks his face against Bakugou's chest, despite his shirt being soggy. Not that it makes any difference, they're going to catch a cold anyways if they don't get off the street soon.
Eijirou's face is still buried into his chest as he mumbles, "People will know"
"About what?" He asks, rubbing his back, his eyebrows knitting together.
He got a thousand questions in his head, but rushing them out of his lips wouldn't be any good, so he waits, despite feeling like drowning as he has no idea what Eijirou is so distressed about.
Getting no response, he wraps his arms more firmly around Eijirou and nudges him with his own face, "People will know what, Ei?" He repeats, more softly
Eijirou sniffs, not looking at him as he speaks, "That you can do better than me, and I'm not good for you, that I'm just holding you back" He says, voice wavering, before he locks his sad eyes with Bakugou's, "People will realize that, and so will you"
What the fuck
He's no good? He's holding him back? That's the craziest thing he's ever heard and he can't believe Eijirou actually thinks that
"Who the fuck told you this shit?" He asks, grabbing his face with both his hands as he wipes away the tears that suddenly flow down his cheek
He swallows, shaking his head, "No one. I just know it's the truth"
Too many thoughts run in his mind. About how wrong he is, about how he's the strongest person he knows and nobody would ever think of him as a burner. About how Bakugou's a better person since he let Eijirou in. About how he will keep kicking asses at the sports festival and everyone will see that.
However, he has to calm him down before speaking, steadying his breath to not screw this up
"The truth my ass" He frowns, gently squeezing his cheeks as he notices how Eijirou tries to tear their eyes apart, "Ei, look at me. What everyone will know when they'll look at you, is how strong you are" He says before he swallows, biting his lower lip as he tries to collect his thoughts, "Fuck, you're the strongest person I know, and I don't think I have to remind you and I know All Might. You're so.. amazing and strong and you never give up. That's what they will see. You're not holding me back, jackass, you're pushing me forward"
He feels like screaming, this is so wrong, everything about this situation is completely wrong and he doesn't know what to do to make him realize how special he is
Eijirou's lips wavers a little more as lets out a sob, "Katsuki.."
He just shakes his head a little, "No, listen to me, you don't even realize how strong you are, how you make anyone happier. You're so amazing, and kind, and sometimes I can't believe you chose me when you could have literally anyone. You're so beautiful, too, and brave, no one can fucking compare to you, there's even a fucking competition. And tomorrow you will definitely kick my ass, fuck, Ei, you placed second last year. Second. Do you realize how fucking strong you have to be to beat over, like, 80 people?! Anyone had talked about you for days, pro heroes still wants to steal you off Fatgum which even if it happens it won't even for long because you and I will fucking open an agency together. So fucking stop saying all that bullshit because I fucking know tomorrow you'll tear that fucking first place away from me and break my record, idiot. You're right, people will realize something, people will know how fucking strong you really are"
Eijirou just stares at him with wide eyes, holding his breath before he starts crying harder, sobbing between his arms, and Bakugou panics for a second as he thinks he managed to fuck this up, probably choosing the wrong words, "Ei—"
Before he can say anything else, Eijirou loops his arms around Bakugou's neck and desperately clutches to him, keeping sobbing as Bakugou hugs him back. His heart still feels heavy in his chest, but at least he got Eijirou like this, in his arms, and he promises to himself he will never fucking stop telling him how amazing he is until he'll see that, too. And fuck, maybe even after that.
He lets Eijirou sob for a while, the rain kissing their skin and mixing up with Eijirou's tears
"I'll kill you if you talk shit about you again, understood?" He mumbles, a soft smiling plays on his lips as Eijirou nods
Bakugou lets himself breath again, pressing him even more against his chest as he speaks again, "And you have to talk to me when you're feeling like this, so I'll remind you how strong you are" He says against his ear, "Fuck, you can break through walls, Eijirou, what kind of weakling could ever do that?!"
Eijirou half chuckles between his tears, "Katsuki.."
"And your unbreakable, the other fuckers can only dream to take all the hits you do and still standing up" He adds, ignoring how embarrassed Eijirou is, "While looking fucking hot in the meantime"
This time, Eijirou giggles for real and Bakugou can't help but feeling proud of himself for once as Eijirou places his hands on his shoulders to pull back a little and Bakugou notices how his eyes are filled with light again, "Katsukiiii stooop"
He scoffs, pretending to be annoyed, "No, I had to listen to your nonsense so now you have to listen to me" He snarls, before his voice softens, "I'll never stop telling you how amazing you are until you'll see it yourself"
He sees the moment Eijirou melts in his arms, smiling softly at him, "You'll have a long way to go"
"I don't care, as long as it takes" He replies, pressing his lips against his forehead.
He really doesn't care how many times he'll have to keep saying the same things over and over again, how many times he'll have to tell him how strong he is. Because it's Eijirou and he would do anything for him, he just hopes his words are enough, that he is enough to make his boyfriend feel better about himself.
"I'm so sorry" Eijirou mumbles, but Bakugou really doesn't want to hear those words, not that he knows what's up.
"I know" He says as he gently tangles his fingers around a lock of red hair
Eijirou sniffs, "No, I'm truly really sorry"
"Ei, stop, I know. It's okay now, we're okay" He says softly, looking into his eyes before bringing his gaze to his lips, "Can I kiss you?"
"Please" Eijirou breathes, and it's all it takes to make Bakugou close the gap between their lips.
He tastes a little salty, maybe because of the rain, but he doesn't mind as he pulls him closer, his arms wrapping around him and he slowly tastes his lips.
He feels better, having him like this feels right, and he never wants to experience the fear of losing him ever again
"I love you" Eijirou whispers once he breaks the kiss, "I'm never going to break up with you again"
"You fucking better" He rasps, before his eyes soften a little, "I love you too"
Despite the pouring rain, a warm feeling spreads across his whole body as Eijirou leans in to kiss him again, still softly but, this time, more firmly somehow.
Bakugou groans a little before slightly pulling back as he realizes they're still under the rain and it's getting fucking dark, "Now let's go back to the dorms before your ass gets sick" He says before he softly nips at his cheek
Eijirou giggles, letting his cheek sinking against his lips, "You talk like you weren't soaked to the bone, too!"
"Oh, shut up" He says, at which Eijirou pouts a little, "Let's go back for real, I need to get you dry and take care of you" He adds as he get back on his feet, firmly holding him between his arms as Eijirou wraps his legs around his waist
"Not if I'll take care of you first" Eijirou replies as he adorably sticks out his tongue
"Tsk, is that a fucking challenge?" He asks with a husky voice, a cocky grin plays on his face as his gaze falls on Eijirou's lips
He feels his heart flutter with love as Eijirou grins back, "It looks like one to me"
"Fuck, I love you" He groans as he kisses him again, not really minding the stupid rain.