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headcanon ; kaeya is a crying drunk
he has a very high alcohol tolerance, but when he does get absolutely *shitfaced*, he cries
so, one day, tartaglia challenges him to a drinking contest (because ofc he would he’s russian)
and kaeya just spills everything, his childhood with diluc, how he misses it, how he didn’t mean to be the thing that killed their father, or rather dilucs father. he says this with even more sadness in his eyes, because he really wanted to consider him to be THEIR father, but he knows that it can’t be like that.
tartaglia is just sitting there, taking it all in, and getting angrier and angrier at diluc. for kicking out his brother, for blaming him for their fathers death, and for being angry at kaeya over something like an impossible choice. for diluc ignoring the way kaeya decided to choose HIM over his entire nation, his homeland. even tartaglia isn’t sure he can do that.
later that evening, after getting kaeya to go to bed, tartaglia goes to the winery. he is still drunk, because while he does have a higher tolerance than kaeya, kaeya still has a high enough tolerance where tartaglia can get drunk to the point where he isn’t thinking about his actions.
he busts in the winery, diluc genuinely surprised to ever see him there
“childe? what are you doi-“ WHACK, a real fuckin hard punch to the face
“you’re a horrible fucking brother you know that?” he’s obviously slurring some of his words, but the intent is there. this takes diluc aback, what the fuck? how long have him and kaeya been talking that he opened up to him about them?
as if reading dilucs mind, childe replied,
C : “he didn’t fucking tell me because we’re buddies or whatever, he got shitfaced and started crying. because of *you*”
diluc isn’t sure *what* to do. kaeya was crying? that’s **very** new.
D : “you don’t know the whole story. you don’t know everything that happened”
C : “i think i know real fucking plenty. you two were close when you were kids, he was a child who didn’t know what he was doing, he just knew you two were brothers and he loved you and your father. he knows it’s his fault your father is dead, but when faced to make an impossible decision, one between you and his homeland, his people and his country, he chose you. he chose someone he considered family over his blood. but, you being the stubborn prick you are, didn’t notice that i’m assuming. i’m starting to think that he should have chosen them, instead of you.” he practically hisses that last part. that makes diluc punch him. he knows childe is right. he knows that whatever happened between him and kaeya should have been resolved a long time ago, he knows it’s what his father would have wanted. but he can’t bring himself to do it, he can’t bring his bitter and cold heart to melt away even for his own brother. his stubbornness is standing in the way, and he knows this. childe just accepts the punch, spits at dilucs shoes, and leaves.
diluc doesn’t sleep that night.
coincidentally, the failed experiment with albedo happens, and kaeya turns back into a child. during the fight between diluc and tartaglia over little kaeya, childe brings up again, “you’re a terrible big brother anyway”.
diluc does win, because his anger over that line made him rage to victory. he goes to zhongli, who is holding little kaeya, who is crying a little
K : “where is my brother? who are these people? where’s my dad?”
Z : “i’m not sure where your father is, but i know your brother is the one coming over here, with the red hair”
diluc makes his way over, and kaeya is hiding himself in zhonglis chest (who is just GLOWING, doting grandfather mode : ON)
D : “hey kaeya, do you know who i am?”
K : “mister zhongli says you’re my brother..and my brother is big, but he isn’t as big as you..”
D : “well, i just grew a little faster than you have! now look whos the taller one?”
that loosens kaeya up a little, he knows he and his brother compete heights.
K : “wheres dad?”
silence follows, but not for long
D : “dads away, and he’ll be gone for a couple days, so in the meantime, why don’t we get you better so he doesn’t nag on us for you getting sick, huh?”
kaeya nods, and is handed over to diluc, who takes them back to the winery.
he puts little kaeya to sleep, but it takes a while. it always has. kaeya had trouble sleeping since they were kids, but, thankfully, diluc already knew how to get kaeya to go to sleep, the method being petting his head and singing him a lullaby.
after kaeya has gone to sleep, diluc goes downstairs, the rest of the party (zhongli, childe, and albedo) waiting for him.
D : “so what are we gonna do?”
A : “i will try to make something soon. it shouldn’t take too long, mistakes like these have happened”
C : “you’ve turned others into children?”
A : not quite. just plants”
D : “my brother isn’t a plant”
A : “i’m aware of that. but i’m guessing that the reversal should be the same”
Diluc isn’t sure how he feels about Albedo’s conclusion. but, he isn’t a man of science, so he can’t really question him.
D : “can you please go make sure that kaeya is still sleeping? he has trouble staying asleep”
Z : “of course” (doting grandfather mode intensifies)
“awh, you don’t want me to check on little sir kaeya?” childe asks with a smile, same as a foxes
“you are to stay five feet away from him at all times.” diluc answers, coldly, staring down at childe. childe merely shrugs his shoulders, and leaves the winery with albedo, who is already coming up with a potion that could potentially turn kaeya back into an adult. zhongli comes back down in that same moment
Z : “he’s asleep. he stirred a little, but he eventually calmed down”
D : “ok. thank you.”
“it’s no trouble, master diluc”, zhongli says this as he’s leaving. diluc is left alone.
he has little kaeya, in his bedroom, asleep.
he still has childe’s words in his head from the day before. he isn’t sure what to do. for the first time in a long time, diluc is lost in his next course of action. kaeya doesn’t remember anything, he’s treating him as they did when they were kids. he still looks up to him. kaeya is still his little brother, more so even now. what does he do? what course of action does he take? will kaeya remember any of this? what are his options?
this is the second night, that he does not sleep, and instead, thinks about kaeya, while also checking on him to make sure *he’s* asleep.
morning comes, and kaeya wakes up, he’s always woken up early
K : “can we have pancakes?”
D : “...sure, why not”, those have always been kaeyas favourites. while he doesn’t know how to make them like their dad did, he thinks he did a pretty damn good job, because kaeya is eating them very feverishly, with seemingly no intentions of slowing down.
after a couple of hours of hanging out with now little kaeya, they are both crying with laughter, and diluc is remembering all the stuff they did as kids. he missed it. he missed it more than he is willing to admit, and his stubbornness is even less likely to admit even in his head that he misses kaeya. not just the kid one, the adult one. tartaglia was right, in what he said. ‘you’re a horrible big brother. whilst faced with an impossible decision, kaeya chose you, and you didn’t’. shit. why had he never thought of that? well he knows why, he was grieving his fathers death, and it was a possibility that his own *brother* could have helped in his death was devestating. he knows that. but he never took the time to realise that kaeya *chose* him. he chose diluc over an entire nation, over his people and his actual blood. and given by the fact that he hasn’t left, it seems that kaeya doesn’t regret that choice. that he still wants to stay with diluc, that he wants to stay with his brother.
while little kaeya is sleeping in dilucs arms, diluc is mulling this over, and is trying to plan for the soon to happen moment, the moment where he apologises to kaeya, the moment he sets aside his pride and ego.
hours pass, and eventually albedo comes in. kaeya is long awake, and is running around in the fields of grapes, chasing crystal flies. albedo catches something rare. he catches a genuine, soft smile from diluc, before diluc has the chance to notice that he’s here. albedo will never mention it, not to diluc and not to anyone. this is a precious moment, one that he’d prefer to keep in his own memories.
A : “i do believe that my spell is ready”
D : “i sincerely hope this works, because i’m gonna kill you if it doesn’t”
A : “yes, yes, you’ve said that on numerous occasions”
diluc calls over kaeya, who gleefully returns to his brother.
“this is albedo, and he has medicine for you to make you better”, diluc said kneeling down to face kaeya. kaeya looks over at albedo, who seems nice. he nods and is taken back to the winery.
diluc decides that this isn’t the moment to face adult kaeya. he can’t, not now, he has to think. he has to be alone. so he ventures out into the woods.
albedo has successfully turned kaeya back into an adult
A : “do you remember anything?”
K : “i remember everything from my adult life, and some bits and pieces from when you turned me into a child”. that is a lie. he remembers everything. he remembers diluc tucking him in, he remembers the pancakes, he remembers the laughter. he remembers it all, but he knows he can’t risk dilucs pride by telling albedo everything now. maybe another day.
whilst diluc is in the woods, he’s trying to reflect. in this process, he finalises in his brain that no, kaeya wasn’t directly responsible for their fathers death, because kaeya was a child, who did not know what he was doing. he also processes what childe told him. ‘he chose me. he chose my family, he chose us rather than his blood, than his people, than his nation.’
that is hard to accept, because diluc doesn’t know if he would have had the strength to do that.
as diluc is thinking it all over in his head, kaeya is notifying the knights that he’s alright, he goes and checks in with zhongli, who hugs him a lot now. interesting development. it’s all laughs, everything is fine. except it isn’t. diluc isn’t here, and kaeya doesn’t even know where to begin if he sees him anytime soon.
eventually kaeya returns to his own home. he’s tired, he’s had a very long three days. he just wants to sleep.
but not tonight apparently, as he hears a very soft knock on his door. it’s diluc.
kaeya stood in the door, shocked, because dear god where the fuck do either of them begin. he just steps out of the way, letting diluc come in, and he does, *progress*, he thinks.
they stood there. in the little hallway, neither of them saying a word. until diluc does say something, something kaeya never actually expected to hear
“i’m sorry”
the fuck does he do, say, think? what the hell is he supposed to do? he stands there for five seconds, until tears start rolling down his eye. he didn’t even notice that he started crying. and there’s no shaking, no gasping for breath, just tears. he never wants to be this vulnerable, ever, so he covers his face with his sleeve. but this is his brother, who knows him. has known him since childhood, and knows what he is like. diluc decides it’s now or never. he hugs him, just letting kaeya silently cry.
“i’m sorry too”
there’s no shaking in his voice, just a small tremble, which clenches dilucs heart. how could he do this to his brother? how could he kick him out, his family. how could he dishonour their father this way, who taught him to love kaeya as if he was blood.
“you were just a child. you didn’t know any better, and when faced with a choice, you chose my family. i’m sorry i didn’t see that earlier”
kaeya shook his head. “i should have told you earlier. i should have helped in some way, i should have been there and saved dad.”
brotherly love, it’s something that never goes away, even as time passes and you fall apart and lose contact. both boys knew that they couldn’t ever actually stop being brothers, and neither of them ever denied it, even when they did have bad blood against each other.
diluc decides he doesn’t want this anymore, he doesn’t want to blame his brother for their fathers death, he wants to forgive him for the mistakes he made as a child.
kaeya wants the same. he wants to forgive diluc for his anger. he knows it was justified, and how that diluc see’s him, knows him and accepts him, it’s all he could have ever wanted.
they end the night with drinking their past sorrows away, and healing old wounds. they remember their childhood, and remember their father. both of them cried that night, both from grievances and from laughter.
in the end, it was better this way. they knew their places in each other’s hearts, and knew that this brotherly bond can never fully be severed. no matter how much shit you go through together, no matter how many years of anger and resentment you have towards each other, in the end, you are family. and of all things in the world, that is the best thing to have.