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“You still love him, don’t you.”
Hermione tore her eyes away from the tall blond walking towards the exit of the tent with his adoring wife at his side. She turned to face her date and found him with a frown on his face.
Had she been that obvious?
“Theo, I’m with you.”
His expression didn’t change. His gaze made her want to squirm in her seat.
“That wasn’t the question I asked.”
But there was the rub, wasn’t it. It wasn’t as if he had done anything to break things off between them, and at some level, Hermione had known when they got involved that there was no future for them. Still, it had all been so unexpected and so intense for them both, that she couldn’t help but still feel some attachment to the man who had stolen her heart, no matter how she tried to tell herself it wasn’t so, no matter she tried to refocus her attention on the man she was now with.
She took a deep breath and clasped Theo’s hands in her own.
“What do you want me to tell you? You know what I was like when it ended. You know that the fact that you were there for me means everything. And you know that I love being with you.”
It wasn’t a lie. She knew it also wasn’t what Theo wanted to hear. What could she say? Hermione knew in her heart that if Draco called her name, she’d run to him without another thought.
But instead, she’d settled for what she could get. Steadfast, dependable Theo who’d made her hot chocolate and held her when she cried, and promised to make it all better.
When she’d finally stopped crying, he really did try his best to mend the pieces of her broken heart.
It wasn’t Theo’s fault that her heart preferred something different. She’d tried to reason her way around it, to convince herself that what they had was over and it was time to move on and Theo was a perfectly lovely person to move on with.
On paper, he had far more pros than cons. But still, Hermione had realized that ledgers didn’t always rule the day. Sure, Theo was intelligent. She loved his mind, but she couldn’t help that his smell was all wrong and he didn’t make her body sing in the same way. And even after all this time, she couldn’t help that she unconsciously oriented herself in Draco’s direction whenever he was near, hoping for some sign, event though it never came.
Theo took a deep breath.
“I guess I can’t blame anyone but myself. I knew what I was signing up for.”
Ouch. That stung. Theo was lovely in his own right. She did really care for him. But her heart… Her heart hadn’t yet made the switch. It was still stuck on things she couldn’t have. Hermione knew it wasn’t fair, but being with Theo meant she stayed in his orbit.
Hermione glanced over Theo’s shoulder and confirmed the other couple was indeed gone before reaching up and holding Theo’s face in her hands.
“You know I love you, Theo. You’ve been so good to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She leaned in to kiss him, ignoring the things their kiss lacked, instead trying to focus on what it had. She may not love him the way he hoped. Maybe that would come in time, maybe it wouldn’t.
But, at this moment, he was all she had.