Work Text:
Ash smiled as he looked around the bar. It took a little work to get it cleaned up after last nights ‘Ghost’ and ‘Easy Rider’ double feature event, but it was all worth it. Tonight was going to be a Valentine’s Day for the history books. “Ash, where have you been? Don’t go off wasting time, there’s too much to do.” Ellen scolded, coming into the bar. Ash couldn’t help but smile. Back when he was alive, he had stayed in Ellen’s Roadhouse. However now that they were in Heaven, the Roadhouse was owned by him. He wasn’t the best at running a bar though, so he and Ellen were partners.
“Where’s Jo?” he asked. Ellen sighed.
“She went to pick up the one hundred long stemmed roses. Bill is getting the tiara’s and diamond table center pieces.” She said. Ash nodded. There was two big events going on tonight and they needed to be ready for both. In about three hours at 4pm, Dean Winchester and the angel Castiel were going to be married in the Roadhouse. They were trying to keep it a quiet affair, only a few guests, before slipping off on their honeymoon. After that they would open the Roadhouse at 7 pm sharp for the Valentine’s Day crowd. Ash was still surprised that Dean and Castiel were finally getting married. He didn’t see them interact much himself until they arrived in Heaven, but even he knew they were perfect for each other.
“Tonight’s going to be epic!” he said. In preparation for the big event he had hired a new bartender and vegan chef, a young woman who he interviewed just a few hours before; he got a DJ who went by the name ‘Lil’ Gow-Wow’ as well as a number of other bands to play. And to top it all off, Andy Gallagher agreed to be the opening act of doing stand-up Comedy at 7pm.
“Was the ‘No Clowns Allowed’ sign really necessary?” Jo asked, coming into the bar with a number of bags. Ash gave her an offended look.
“After last time? It was completely necessary.” he said. Jo put the bags on the bar, pulling out different items as she did.
“Mom, I picked up the stuff to make the red lava cakes and the little cinnamon red hearts too.” she said. Ellen nodded in gratitude. After a moment another thought occurred to her and she opened her mouth to voice it but Jo just smirked. “Dad’s getting a barrel of rock salt too. We don’t want any demons causing any problems today.” she said. Ellen chuckled. Her daughter was definitely a hunter.
“Well, I’ll get started with those cakes.” Ellen grabbed the bags and was about to head to the kitchen when she froze. Turning back, she gave Ash and Jo a horrified look.
“Oh crap! I forgot the pie! Wait, do we need pie?” Ellen trailed off. It was Dean’s wedding day, he would demand pie. She didn’t want to send Jo out again, but Dean would be heartbroken if he didn’t get at least one pie today. Ash waved the concern off.
“We got those thousand pies in the fridge.” he said. A few days ago a delivery of one thousand pies arrived at the Roadhouse. There was only a single note attacked to them, saying ‘from a friend’. Ash used his old computer hacking skills to track the shipment back to a place called Family Business Beer Company. He wasn’t completely sure, but he thinks ‘Sister Jo’ had something to do with it.
“And the whiskey? Gwen Campbell and the others were going to bring some of their homemade whiskey…” Ellen started. Ash vaguely remembered the Winchester’s cousins. Gwen, Mark, and Christian if he recalled correctly. Apparently after arriving in Heaven, the hunters hadn’t had too many ideas on what to do with themselves so they started making their own alcohol. Turns out they were pretty good at it and Ash would periodically order some for the bar. Since it was Dean’s wedding day, they were donating the whiskey for free.
Free was Ash’s favorite price.
“We’re stocked for whiskey and shooters.” Ash assured her. Jo snorted in amusement.
“Good, because people are already lining up outside.” She said. Ash rushed to the window to glance out. Jo was right. For a moment he wasn’t even sure if it was for the wedding, the Valentine’s event, or both. A movement in the back caught his eye and he could see Bill making his way through, pushing a barrel with a box on top. Ash let out a relieved sigh when the crowd parted and let the man through without much fuss. He opened the door for Ellen’s husband, holding it open long enough for the man to pass through before pushing it shut again.
“That crowd is getting excited…oh no.” Bill groaned and Ash turned to see what he was looking at. “You really opened a gift shop in the bar?” he asked. Ash turned back to the old hunter, grinning.
“Hell yeah. And tonight they are offering mullet haircuts.” He said. With a dramatic flair, Ash tosses his hair behind his shoulder. He had put extra hairspray in it today, just in case things got too rowdy. Hearing a chuckle behind him, Ash turned back to see Jo was hanging up a sign, showing their new Thursday night Bingo events and Saturday night Karaoke. Ellen had argued against a weekend night for karaoke since hunters like to get rowdy and fight, but as Ash pointed out, this was a Roadhouse. Fighting was expected.
“Are we almost ready?” Bill asked. Ash shrugged. He figured they were ready as they ever were going to be.
“Good, because everyone is on their way.” Ash turned around in surprise at the new voice to see Bobby Singer had come in the back door. He wasn’t dressed like he was going to a wedding, but it’s not like Hunter’s had formal clothes. Besides, Dean and Cas wouldn’t want this to be a big fancy affair. They wanted it to be real, and hunters, demons, angels, and the souls of the dead were about as real as it got.
“Whose all coming?” Bill asked. The boys said they wanted it to be a small affair, but who knows what that meant when it came to hunters. Bobby shrugged.
“I don’t know. I think Jack said he was going to ‘bend the laws of the universe’ or some crap. I guess whoever gets the memo.” Bobby said. The others gave a small nod. That made sense. Jack was Dean, Sam, and Castiel’s son. He would want everyone possible to be able to attend. Ash didn’t know if Jack actually knew what a wedding was, but that was fine.
“I’m gonna go check on Ellen.” he announced before heading to the kitchen. Ellen was putting something in the oven. “How’s the lava cakes?” he asked.
“They’ll be ready in about an hour. Don’t bring any of them boys thru my kitchen, these cakes need quiet to rise.” She ordered. Ash gave her a mock salute to show he understood. He checked over a few more things in the kitchen before going back out into the bar. In the time he was back there, the bar had really been filling up.
Sam had made his appearance with his wife Eileen. Garth Fitzgerald IV and his wife Bess had also arrived with Gertie, Castiel, and Samuel Fitzgerald. Bobby stood in the corner talking to John, Mary, and Rufus Turner. Ash was still questioning John’s presence, but it wasn’t his wedding. Jo was making small talk with Jody and Donna while Kaia, Patience, and Claire were talking to Jack. Alex was setting up a tray of brownies and vegan snacks on a table. Ash had a mild suspicion they were ‘special brownies’ but who cares since there isn’t any police to arrest them in Heaven. Kevin Tran and Charlie Bradbury were discussing something nerd related and Meg and Crowley were already in an argument while Gabriel, Gadreel, and Balthazar were laughing nearby. Benny Lafette was talking to Rowena MacLeod and the two seemed to be getting along just fine. There were a number of others coming in that Ash didn’t really pay too much attention to, there was so much he still needed to get done.
“Hey, Ash…” Sam rushed up to him, looking a little lost. Ash raised an eyebrow, traying to remind Sam that he had a business to run. “Who’s…who’s officiating the wedding?” Sam asked. Ash shrugged.
“Not my department.” he admitted. It really wasn’t. Ash was just going to be in attendance. Sam nodded.
“I wonder if he’ll want Sonny to do it. Or Jim Murphy?” Sam started babbling on as he walked away and Ash, not knowing who Sonny was but having other concerns at the moment, ignored him. After helping a few of the other guests decorate, which was difficult because they all had their own ideas on how this wedding should go and just ended with Jack using his God powers to set it how he thought his dad’s would want it, 4pm finally arrived.
They had set up the Roadhouse for the Valentine’s Day party, so there wasn’t really many places to sit. There also wasn’t a specified side for Dean’s guests or Cas’ guests because outside of a few exceptions, everyone practically knew everyone. Jim Murphy ended up being the one Dean asked to officiate the wedding. After all he was the only parental figure for both Dean and Castiel present who was an ordained minister. Castiel didn’t have a father present, as his own was a piece of crap, so instead Amara his aunt, was there along with Claire. For Dean; John, Bobby, and Sonny were all there and since he had multiple mother figures in the form of Mary, Missouri, Jody, and Ellen he had asked Rowena to be the one to go with him. It also put Crowley in a rage. Cas’ groomsmen were Meg, Hannah, Balthazar, Claire, and Gabriel. For Dean it was Charlie, Kevin, Garth, Benny, and Crowley. Jack was the ring bearer and Kaia, Patience, and Alex were the flower maiden’s. And of course, Sam stood beside Dean as his best man.
The actual ceremony went out without a hitch, Ash touched by the number of people that appeared and the vows Dean and Cas made for each other. Then the speeches started. Sam was the first to go, pulling out a piece of paper with a flourish and bringing the microphone close to his face. “Mawidge…mawidge is what bwi us togewer today…” Sam started and Ash about choked on his beer and Dean about fell over in hysterics. Castiel gave Sam a confused look, almost like he wanted to ask what Sam was trying to acomplish. Apparently Sam was going to let everyone know how he felt about how long this took!
xxx
Ash didn’t know when exactly Dean and Cas slipped out, probably having every intention to have their honeymoon and leave the reception up to the others. It didn’t matter because they needed to get everything ready for opening in forty-five minutes and Andy wasn’t here yet! Ash pulled out his phone, still stunned that Heaven had such technologies, before hitting Andy’s contact information.
“Yeah?” Andy answered after a few minutes, sounding like he just woke up. Ash frowned.
“Brother, you’re late! You’re going on in 45 minutes!” he snapped. That woke Andy up.
“Oh, I’m on my way. What am I doing again?” Ash briefly wondered how much Andy smoked.
“Stand up.” Ash reminded him.
“Stand up?” Andy sounded confused, like he didn’t actually remember that he was supposed to perform a stand-up routine. Ash wasn’t worried.
“Just hurry up.” He said, then he hung up. The DJ will hold everyone over until Andy got there. For now he figured he could open the doors and let the people outside in. After all the reception group were in the bar and it hardly made a difference anymore. Tonight, only there would be no limit on the people allowed in the Roadhouse. Within moments of Ash throwing open the doors, people flooded in and the Roadhouse was packed.
Ash felt someone tapping his shoulder and turned around to see a delivery man. “Excuse me Sir, this is Harvelle’s Roadhouse correct?” Ash nodded. The man held out a clipboard. “I just need you to sign for this delivery.” he said. Ash tried to remember if another delivery was due but for the life of him he couldn’t think of one.
“Delivery…”
“The Five Hundred Bacon Roses.” The man said. Ash paused at that. He didn’t put in an order for that. Then again now that he thought about it, this had Aaron Bass’ name all over it. The man loved bacon, probably more so than Dean. Ash gave a quick nod to show he understood before taking the clipboard and signing. “Where would you like them set up?” the delivery man asked. Ash waved in the general direction of the pool table. It didn’t matter where they set them up, the food would be devoured anyway.
Hearing a commotion, Ash saw a few of the customers getting in each other’s faces. This wasn’t good. People are hungry and hungry hunters especially where nothing but trouble. Looking around he was surprised to see Ellen’s lava cakes weren’t out yet. They should have been put around hours ago. Ash quickly went into the kitchen. “Ellen, where’s the cakes?” he asked. Ash froze in the door. The oven was smoking, Bill putting out a fire with a fire extinguisher. Ellen was scolding two people, Ash was vaguely sure he recognized them, one a hunter and one wasn’t. Ellen turned to him, furious.
“Hang onto your britches, we’re bringing them out as fast as we can. As you can see we got a little backed up.” She said. Ash nodded.
“Alright, but people are getting a little rowdy.” He said. Ellen rolled her eyes.
“Then stall them.” She ordered. Ash opened his mouth to ask how, but Ellen beat him to it. “Give them free shots of fireball, tell a few jokes, I don’t know, you’re the MIT graduate, figure it out.” She ordered. Ash left the kitchen rather quickly to do as she said. In his absence people had been getting a little bit rambunctious.
“I told her we needed extra security tonight.” He hissed. Andy wasn’t here yet either. He raised a hand, signaling over his new bartender. “Set up a round of free shots with the Winchester cousin’s whisky and tell the DJ to play Pink Floyd.” She nodded and left to do so. Ash went behind the bar, pulling out a beer from the fridge. He didn’t realize how much work it was to run such an event.
“We got V-day cakes!” Bill yelled, coming out of the kitchen with a try. He barley made it two steps before people were swamping him, removing the treats from the tray. Within seconds the tray was empty and Bill turned back to the kitchen, probably to get some more.
“Hey Dr. Badass. There’s a masked man hanging out front.” a guy said. Ash frowned, that was unexpected.
“Don’t trust him.” Ash quickly said. Sure, there were all kinds of angels, demons, and monsters at the event but you should never trust a stranger wearing a mask.
“Aww, but he bought our table drinks.” Someone called. Ash ignored it for the time being. His bands hadn’t arrived yet and he was going to have to come up with something soon before people started tearing up the joint.
“No way! Dude, is that Jimmy Hendrix?” Ash turned to look at the stage where Jimmy Hendrix and Jim Morrison stepped up. That will definitely work. This truly must be the best place to go in Heaven for Valentine’s Day. Deciding his job as a host was done for the night and whatever would happen would happen, Ash sat at the bar and ordered a shot. He was done running the place, it was time to party!
Ash lost count of the number of drinks he took when the door to the Roadhouse flung open. He looked over in surprise to see Elvis storm in. Why was he in such a bad mood? He knocked over a table of lava cakes and bacon roses and picked up a chair that he threw. Ash narrowly avoided it, taking his beer with him for safe keeping. He had no idea what set off Elvis, but he was going to put a stop to the singer’s tantrum right now. Ash got up and walked over to the man. He handed off his beer to a nearby person, hoping he would see it again before the night was out. With one hand he tosses his hair back and threw a punch, hitting Elvis in the face.
For a moment no one spoke, then everyone erupted in cheers and yells. Ash could hear people yelling for both of them to win. Elvis got a good punch in himself and Ash stumbled back a step. “Fuck you Elvis, you ain’t walkin’ out of…” he started, ready to make Elvis pay for the damages he already caused but received a hard punch to the jaw. Ash went down hard but immediately picked himself back up. It wasn’t a party without a good brawl after all and fighting with Elvis was probably going to be the highlight of his week.
Ash had no idea how long they were going at it when a loud whistling sound overcame everything. He quickly put his hands over his ears, trying to block it out and saw many of the guests doing the same. Then everything erupted. The building shook so hard everyone fell over and a bright light blinded him. Ash closed his eyes until the sound faded before slowly getting up. Looking around he was horrified! Half of the building was just GONE! The guests were scrambling about, some talking about who they need to fight in order to get back to their party and a few even hiding under the tables. Hoping to discover the identity of the culprit, Ash scrambled around the bar only to find Enochian writing etched into the floor.
‘Please send help. We are under attack.’ Ash tilted his head in confusion. Who was under attack? Who needed help? Where was he supposed to send that help? What were they facing. A few of the guests were scrambling about in confusion, a few went back to drinking although all the food had been devoured. “What do you think Ellen?” he asked, looking toward the kitchen and expecting her to come out. However, no one stood near the kitchen door. Alarmed, and recalling the last time the Roadhouse was attacked, Ash dashed to the kitchen and threw open the door. There was no one inside. “Ellen?! Jo?!” Ash looked around frantically for his friends but there was no sign of either of them. Then someone bumped into him, knocking him to the floor. The bright light was back, as was the noise.
“What’s going on here?” Ash frowned. That voice was very familiar. A figure was standing in front of him, offering a hand to pull him up. Ash could make out the blue cardigan from the halo of light and knew only one person who wore that. Ash accepted the hand and Aaron Bass pulled him to his feet. The noise and the light were gone, almost like Aaron and his Golem’s presence scared off their mystery attacker. Aaron looked around, seeing many of the hunters and other guests staring at them. “I have no idea what is happening here.” The man admitted. Ash grinned and clapped him on the shoulder.
“You my friend, unwittingly and single-handedly just saved Valentine’s Day.” He said. Everyone cheered. “A round of drinks!” Ash yelled and everyone cheered louder.
Xxx
Ash looked at the boarded up building, although there almost wasn’t a point since half of it was just gone. The pool table was still on fire, the tables and chairs were destroyed, and even his gift shop was gone. Heaven won’t be the same until he can rebuilt, which would take about two weeks. However there was more important things to be done. He needed to find Ellen. Jo and Bill had contacted him to let him know they were fine but they hadn’t seen Ellen since the oven caught fire a second time. Ash felt it was his duty to find his friend. He climbed on his motorcycle, pulling down his sunglasses and revved the engine to life. ‘Born to be Wild’ started playing on his helmet radio and Ash turned it as high as it would go before driving off into the sunset.
Xxx
Ellen made her way back to the Roadhouse. She paused in shock, seeing half the building gone and the windows and doors boarded up. The ‘Do Not Enter’ sign on the door looked rushed, like Ash made it in a hurry. She wondered just what happened when she left last night. When she had finished making the cakes, she had slipped outside to get some fresh air. She was shocked to see Bobby Singer and Prince of all people smoking behind the bar. Bobby told her how they were old friends and the two invited her to join them for the evening. Her, Bobby, and Prince had a few whiskey’s and sang old classic rocks songs until the sun came up. Looks like she missed one hell of a party.
Ellen made her way back inside and went to the main office. She found the security cameras and decided to look through them just to see what she missed. It looked like everyone had fun, even if it was going to take weeks to fix this. And they had Saint Patrick’s Day coming up too. People were going to expect them to have an event for that day too.
As Ellen was about to call it quits she noticed a figure in the corner of the screen. She paused it, bringing up the image to make it larger and frowned. Dean Winchester was sitting at the bar while the fight with Ash and Elvis was going on in the back, ordering two beers while his new husband stood right behind him. The punk snuck back in and didn’t even have the decency to give her a hug on his way out? He was in for it now. She pulled out her phone, calling Ash.
“Dr. Badass!” Ash answered from the other side. She could hear his motorcycle’s engine in the background.
“Ash…” she started.
“Ellen!?! You’re alright?!” he sounded alarmed and Ellen smiled.
“I’m alright, but Dean isn’t going to be when I get my hands on him!” she said. Ash huffed.
“Where were you?” he asked.
“With Bobby Singer and Prince.” She said. Ash made an indigent squawk over the phone
“You partied and left me with the fights?” he yelled. After a moment he sounded much calmer. “I would have done the same. Anyway, we’re starting repairs next week. I’m taking a break.” Then the line went dead.