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throughout the years, you’re bound to meet many people. some will come and stay, and some will come and leave. there’s nothing you can do to make them stay in your life and that’s just how things are.
you still remember your first heartbreak. it was during high school when you met him. his name is Gavin. he is two years ahead of you. he’s one of those people who looks cold, intimidating, and scary. there’s also a lot of rumors around him on how he often fought with other students. because of his demeanor, he’s often seen alone on the campus.
one day, however, your friend Minor, started following him and later on befriended him. you remember being scared for him because he might end up being hit by the cold senior. with Minor’s social skills, he managed to befriend him. it wasn’t surprising though, knowing how much of a social butterfly he is.
the first time you truly interacted with him was when Minor brought him to your usual hangout place. it was a nice Friday sunny afternoon. it was not hot though as the breeze is cool, making the ginkgo tree in the campus sway, with a few leaves falling beneath.
“hey! i’ve brought a friend! i hope that’s okay with you.” Minor’s voice came from behind you. without looking back, you replied and said “yeah that’s okay. i suppose it’s nice to see a new face except yours. i’m tired of it.”
Minor sat down in front of you and someone sat down beside him. upon seeing Gavin’s face, you were shocked. surely, you didn’t expect him at all. you looked at the senior’s face in front of you and notice the shock on his face too. it looks like you’re not the only one who is shocked by this encounter.
you introduced yourself first and extended a hand for a handshake. with hesitancy, Gavin took your hand and shook it while introducing himself. you were the first to look away, failing to see how the tips of his ears turn red.
after that day, he started to hang out with you (along with Minor) every after class. even on your study sessions with Minor, he was there too. sometimes, you hang out too even without Minor (in which he wasn’t thrilled at all).
one day, after class, you saw him waiting for you and Minor at the school gate. you noticed his hands were bruised a bit. judging by how his hair is slightly messy and how his uniform is unbuttoned, he was in a fight.
“what happened to you? did you get in a fight again?” you said as you inspected his body for injuries. except with a wound near his lips and bruised knuckles, he was fine.
“where’s Minor?” he looked around, trying to escape your question and prying eyes.
“who did you fight again this time? are you hurt somewhere?” you asked him again as you took his hand and examined his bruised knuckles.
“did Minor not go to school today?” Gavin said and pulled his hands away from your grip. he took your backpack from you to carry it. it has become his habit ever since and is usually the signal for the two of you to start walking. but as he was about to walk, you grabbed his hands, stopping him from walking.
“stop changing the topic. how are you? are you injured somewhere else? come on let’s go to the clinic.” you tried to drag him but he didn’t budge as he’s still stronger than you. you looked at him and saw a look of gentleness in his amber eyes. it’s a look you’ve accustomed to seeing over the time he’s with you. the first time you saw it, it shocked you. you didn’t know that you would see that look from him considering how cold he looks from the outside. Minor would tease you about how he only looks like that on you and that he has a soft spot for you. you would blush at the thought of it but you’ll quickly brush it away.
“i’m not hurt. the clinic’s close already,” he said and smiled at you. with that, the two of you started walking home. he didn’t answer your question on why he got in a fight. he never tells you, maybe it’s because he didn’t want you to worry or get involved with it. you’re too precious for him to get involved with the things he’s dealing with. he didn’t want to hurt you and he just wanted to protect you from all the harm in this world.
you stopped at the park nearby your apartment complex and told him to wait. you ran to the nearest pharmacy and brought a simple first aid kit. when you returned, you saw him sitting on a bench hugging your backpack while he’s staring blankly ahead of him. he seems lost in his small world yet peaceful.
you walked and sat quietly beside him. he didn’t seem to notice your presence as he continued to look far away. you took this chance to look (or admire, rather) his side profile. his soft brown hair that reaches above his eyes sways with the gentle breeze of the air. his amber eyes seemed to glow as the afternoon sun starts to set. he had always looked so handsome but he looked extra good today.
you realized you’re staring at him for quite some time so you cleared your throat to get his attention. he turned his head to look at you and flashed you a smile.
“where did you go? did you buy something?” he said as he noticed the plastic bag you’re holding.
you took out the ointment for his wounded lips and some bandages for his knuckles. with your clean hands, you said nothing and started to wrap his knuckles with the bandages. Gavin watched you silently with a small smile on his face. your hands are soft and warm and it took every fiber in his body to stop himself from holding it.
after wrapping enough bandages, you started applying the ointment on the corner of his lips. the proximity between you two is too close as you can feel his breath hitched for a while when your hand made contact with the wound. you were too focused on applying the ointment without hurting him to notice how intently he is looking at you and how the tips of his ears become red.
after applying the ointment, you cleaned up and gave the remaining ointment and bandages to him so he can change and apply it later on. you pointed at his hair and he looked at you confusedly. you just laughed and leaned forward to fix it. startled by your actions, Gavin frantically looked away and fixed his somewhat messy hair.
your laugh is Gavin’s favorite sound. it makes him happy just by merely hearing you laugh. it makes him want to protect you more that’s why he didn’t hesitate to beat the students up in the alley near the school. he overheard a couple of guys planning to place a bet over a few of the girls on the campus about something perverted. that alone made him mad but when he heard your name, that’s when he lost control of himself.
just before the sun has set, you’re already home. Gavin always makes sure that you’re home before it’s dark outside as it’s not safe although you feel safe (the safest, honestly) whenever you’re with him.
after doing your homework, you laid down on your bed preparing to sleep when you heard your phone beeped. you look at it and saw a message from Gavin:
“thank you for the ointment and bandages. i’m fine so don’t worry about me anymore. good night :)”
you smiled and texted him back with a simple “alright. good night :)” and before you know it, a giggle has escaped your lips. the moment you realized you laughed, a realization hit you. you like Gavin.
—
the time flew by and before you know it, Gavin is in his last year of high school. you still haven’t confessed to him. you just can’t find the right timing to do so. whenever you mustered up the courage to, something always happens. it’s like the universe is telling you that it is a bad idea.
Gavin, on the other hand, can’t seem to find the courage to. he is a man of few words, to begin with so telling you his feelings would be too hard for him. Minor keeps teasing him about you. he would do so by saying, “she’ll melt if you keep staring at her” and he would also help Gavin to spend time with her by coming up with (random) excuses to leave you two alone. he doesn’t mind though. in fact, he’s thankful for Minor for doing that. well, he’s thankful for Minor because he got to know and befriend you.
Gavin had first noticed you when he (stumbled) passed by the music room. you were there, playing the piano. the ginkgo leaves outside seem like it was dancing along with the melody. with the window open, your hair gracefully flowed with the wind and your face that was basking in the afternoon sun glowed which made you look like an angel. he was stunned by you and he forgot his surroundings. you filled his vision and his lingering thoughts before stumbling here was gone. he had just gone down from the rooftop after getting beat up by his seniors who found him “disrespectful” and “acting up” because he got into a fight with them earlier on that day. he was tired, in pain, and hopeless. he had wanted to give up right then and there so he started to wander and look for some empty rooms but he saw you instead. for some reason, seeing you gave him some hope and ignited a small fire within him. he gained strength from seeing you and since then, he made a vow to himself that he would protect you no matter what because you saved him that day.
you’re scared. the time is running out. it’s only a matter of time before Gavin goes to college. you wanted to confess before he graduated so that if it won’t turn out good, you wouldn’t have to deal with the awkwardness around him. but if things turn out the way you wanted to, it might not work out because he might start to be busy when he gets admitted to a college or university. you didn’t know what to do but the only thing you’re sure of is your feelings for him are getting strong day by day.
due to Minor’s consistent teasing, Gavin mustered up his courage and decided that he will confess to you. it’s nothing grand, but he’s planning to give you a ginkgo bracelet he brought somewhere and confess. Minor talked him out of his eternal “what if’s” and just said that, “just go for it! it will all be worth it, i’m telling you. there’s no way she doesn’t like you!”
Gavin asked if you’re free on the weekend and you were. you asked if Minor is tagging along and he simply said no. deep inside, you’re happy but you’re not telling him (and Minor) that.
the two of you walked around and ate street foods. there’s a festival so there are a lot of food carts and things to do. by the afternoon, you dragged him to a band that’s playing and sat down and watched it with him. Gavin had been smiling from ear to ear all day and it makes you happy seeing him happy like this. maybe Minor is right, he’s only this happy when he’s with you.
Gavin cleared his throat and gave you something. he simply “this is for you”. this time, you noticed how there’s a subtle blush on his cheeks and how his ears are slightly red.
confusedly, you opened the box and saw a beautiful ginkgo leaf bracelet. it’s simple but it’s elegant looking. you looked at him with your eyes wide and barely said “w-what’s this?”.
he laughed silently and took the bracelet. the next thing you know, the bracelet is on your wrists already. “it looks good on you.” Gavin said as he adorned how the bracelet seems created just for you.
you looked at your wrist and your eyes twinkled in delight. it really is beautiful. you didn’t know that Gavin has an eye for this type of thing. you looked back at him but before you said something, he spoke. “that’s a gift. that’s a thank you for the friendship over the years. that’s a thank you for making my high school bearable.”
what’s this? what is he saying?
you waited for more. your gut says that there’s something more he wanted to say. was it a confession? a farewell? an indirect rejection? you don’t know what it was but you can feel it. you waited but that was it. no words came out of his mouth after that and it left you hanging. he just looked away and watched the band play the last song of the day as the sun is almost setting. you weren’t able to focus on anything because you were too lost in your thoughts.
he took you home once again before it gets too late. it was a quiet walk and unlike before where the silence between you two is comfortable, this time, it was laced with tension and awkwardness, as if there’s something that had happened. he had his hands in his pocket and there seems to be a storm in his eyes. physically he’s right beside you, but you feel like he’s miles away from you.
he stopped in front of your door, preparing to leave since he’s walked you home but you stopped him. it was now his turn to look at you with confused eyes, waiting for you to talk.
your mind is a mess. there’s a lot of things you wanted to say but you don’t know what to. you’re too confused and frustrated right now and you’re not thinking straight anymore so you blurted out “i like you.”
it caught him off guard. you forced yourself to look up into his eyes, completely ignoring how you can feel the intensity of your heart pounding all around you. this wasn’t the ideal confession you’re thinking of doing. you’re planning on a more romantic setting and when you’re on your right mind and on the right timing as well, not this. this is the complete opposite. it’s not romantic, your mind is all over the place, and the timing is completely not right.
you were waiting for his reaction. just anything. but the tension became thicker and the silence grew louder that the only thing you can hear is your own heartbeat. it almost scared you because he might hear it considering how silent the world was.
Gavin only gave you a gentle look and patted you on the head, in contrast to how red his ears were. his lips curled into a small smile but his eyes were telling a different story. he still has that stormy look in them and that confused you more than ever.
“go inside. your father must be waiting for you. i’ll get going now. i had fun today.” is definitely not the response you were expecting. after a period of silence, that’s the only thing he’ll say? it’s like he didn’t even acknowledge your confession. did you even do it? or were you just hallucinating that it happened?
the weekend was over and you’re dreading going to school today. you’re thankful that you don’t have any homework because you’ve done nothing but to think about what happened. were you rejected? well, you feel like it because Gavin just practically ignored your confession. you feel like Gavin just couldn’t reject you directly so he just gave you a small smile. him saying nothing must already be a sign that he just doesn’t like you. great. you just made a fool out of yourself and you have possibly ruined your friendship!
the day passed by very quickly. Minor’s glances towards you and the bracelet on your wrist didn’t go unnoticed though. it looks like Minor knows something so you ought to talk to him before you go home.
the bell rang signaling it’s now time to go home. Minor made his way over you while you were fixing your things and said, “that’s a nice bracelet you got there. where’d you get it?” his eyes have some mischievous look in them, giving away that he knows who gave it. oh Minor, he’s always so easy to read especially when it comes to you and Gavin.
“uh, Gavin gave it to me last Saturday.” is just what you said, completely omitting everything that had transpired between the two of you. no. you won’t tell Minor that. you’re sure he’ll tease you for it until the very end and you just don’t want to embarrass yourself more. you’ve already lost face with Gavin and you wanted to protect the tiny pride you still have in you.
“oh. so you two went out last Saturday, huh? why didn’t you invite me? was it a date?” Minor nudged you playfully and you see him raising his eyebrows playfully. this guy definitely knows something.
you hit him back and tried to hide your blushing face but failed as Minor continued to tease you more and more.
“it was not a date, okay? plus you said you have other plans last Saturday that’s why we didn’t come with you. plus, Gavin gave this bracelet as a thank you gift. he said he’s thankful that i got to be his friend. he’s graduating in a few months, you know and he’s gonna be busy so i think that’s why he gave it to me. i’m pretty sure you’ll have one too” you explained defensively, trying to hide your disappointment that it’s probably a friendly gesture and not the type of gesture you were hoping for.
as you said it, Minor’s face subtly changes. it was barely noticeable, really so you might have imagined it. he quickly said, “a thank you gift, huh? i can’t wait to receive mine from him!” he grinned and grabbed you outside the classroom already.
while you’re making your way out, you started to get nervous. will Gavin be there, waiting at the gate again? will he say anything about what happened last Saturday? will he completely ignore you and act as nothing had happened? or, sadly, he won’t be waiting anymore because he’ll find it awkward?
while pondering over it, Minor’s voice pierced your ears. you looked up and saw Gavin. his face, which is usually cold and expressionless, suddenly lit up upon seeing you. he glanced at your wrist and saw the ginkgo leaf bracelet glistening in the sun and a look of relief flashed on his face.
unlike before, he didn’t reach for your backpack and started walking while listening to Minor talk. before it doesn’t really matter but now, it bothers you. and at that point, you knew that you have ruined your friendship by confessing.
you didn’t say much and nor does Gavin. well, it’s normal for him but he’s quieter than usual. Minor noticed this but he didn’t say anything and you’re thankful for that. he still walked you home that afternoon, though.
months had passed and you became busier in school. Gavin stopped waiting for you after school either. at first, it was gradual. he would still be at the school gate thrice a week, then it became twice, once, until he completely stopped. you can still see him around the campus but only if you look hard.
it hurt you, more than you could imagine. his sudden disappearance in your life hurt you in ways you didn’t expect. is this the heartbreak that people talk about?
—
the last day of school came and surprisingly, you saw Gavin in his usual spot, waiting for you. he was leaning on the wall with his hands in his pocket, scanning the crowd of students happily walking. and then he saw you.
you can’t forget how his face lit up upon seeing you. this, of course, made your heart race and breath hitch. it has been a while since you saw him and his smile (that was only reserved for you, as Minor keeps saying). he still looked the same, dashing and cool as ever. you smiled back and even gave a little wave before rushing over him.
“Gavin, my bro! you’re here!” a voice called from behind and before you know it, you were getting dragged by the boy with dusty silver hair. Gavin’s face returned to his usual because of Minor’s sudden interfering.
“it’s been a while! are you that busy to forget about us?” Minor said as he hit Gavin lightly on his arm.
Gavin only shook his head but you noticed a small smile on his face. that’s the Gavin you knew that most people don’t. he likes to put up a front to people that makes him appear intimidating and not the one you should mess with. people see him as this notorious kid who does nothing but fight and beat up students in the alley. what people don’t know, is that Gavin has this justice he follows. he did all of those things because he often catches them doing things that they shouldn’t be doing. people don’t believe him though, so he stopped explaining himself.
he was only on his true self when he’s with you. he’s kind, caring, and a very helpful person.
Minor disappeared halfway. he said he has other plans with his friends so that left you and Gavin alone. you don’t know if you’re thankful or angry at Minor for leaving you alone with Gavin when he definitely knows that something had happened between you two without him. you made a note to yourself that you might just have to strangle him the next time you see him.
it’s not that you don’t want to be alone with Gavin because it’s him for crying out loud but his sudden disappearance from your life after your confession hurt you. why won’t it? it’s like he deliberately rejected and ignored you, which is painful because it genuinely means that Gavin doesn’t feel the same way as you unlike what other people keep saying. everything he’d done and the way he acted was just a part of his caring nature and it’s your fault that you perceived it differently. it hurt because you hoped that Gavin harbors the same feelings towards you. the bracelet he gave you only made you hope more that he likes you too but that was completely crushed after he walked away from your confession.
so why did he suddenly show up, waiting for you? after months of ignoring you, with no communication with him or whatsoever, he’s here with you, walking side by side. what’s his deal?
you continued to walk, thinking of things to talk about. you’ve always played this scenario on your head with different topics you’ve planned on talking about to avoid the awkwardness to brew but you’re here, completely at loss for words.
Gavin was the first to break the silence. “want to go eat? i heard there’s a new food stall that just recently opened on the way.” he stopped you in your tracks with a hopeful look on his face. oh how you’ve missed looking at that gorgeous face.
as you were contemplating on whether to go and eat with him or not because of the awkward air around you, your stomach seemed to have a mind on its own and took it upon itself to growl, as if it’s answering Gavin’s suggestion. you couldn’t help but lower your head as embarrassment starts to kick in. you just can’t seem to stop making a fool out of yourself in front of him, don’t you?
Gavin chuckled and patted your head. he said, “alright then” and proceeded to grab your hand and lead the way to the said food stall.
upon arriving, your hunger just intensified as the delicious aroma filled the air. how Gavin found this place considering it’s out of his way home, you don’t know but that doesn’t matter to you. you found an empty table, sat and scanned over the menu. it’s full of delicious-looking food so you had a hard time choosing. Gavin just watched you in silence and he unknowingly smiled to himself.
after settling on a dish that made your mouth water, reality came and you’ve just realized how Gavin is looking at you (lovingly). you must have looked silly in front of him. great. you just keep losing face with him.
“what?” you said, feeling more embarrassed.
“nothing, nothing. it’s just that you look happy and excited. it makes me happy too.” Gavin said and gave you a smile. you took this opportunity to look at him. you studied his face and you see some faint bruise on his lip that’s almost healed, a new scar on his forehead and chin, and his cheeks seem to be thinner than the last time you looked at him.
you couldn’t help but worry. what has happened to him over the time he’s not with you? did he got into fights again? is he skipping his meals and not eating? is something bothering him?
he seemed to notice your stare that he knows all too well. he patted you on your head again and said with a chuckle, “i’m fine. don’t you worry about me.”
his eyes fell down to your wrist and were seemingly surprised when he saw that familiar bracelet, still on your wrist. he’s pleased though, knowing that you’re still wearing it.
before you could even talk and ask him some questions, the food you ordered arrived. you cannot help but marvel at how delicious it looks so you didn’t waste your time and started eating. the senior in front of you smiled fondly at you, seeing you eat happily. he started eating his dish afterward. the two of you started eating in silence and much to your surprise, it wasn’t awkward at all.
you have so many things you wanted to ask, but you don’t know what to ask first. how has he been? is he eating alright? what happened with him within this past few months?
Gavin seemed to notice your inner turmoil so he said, “let’s go somewhere else so we can talk.” that made you anxious and prepared yourself for whatever he’ll say.
he insisted on paying for the meal. he said that it is his treat and he wanted to make up for the times that he wasn’t with you.
after paying, Gavin led the way out. you walked a bit behind him and studied his back. his shoulders seem a bit broad as if he had started working out. the air around him is still the same but you feel a slight difference you just can’t point out.
you noticed that Gavin had brought you to the park near your apartment complex where you treated him once from the bruises and cuts he got from a fight.
you ran towards the tree in the middle with your arms wide. it’s a bit breezy today so a few leaves scattered around the wind. the sun wasn’t too hot and the sky was clear today. it was a beautiful day.
Gavin watched you as you ran and felt his heart clenched. at that time, you seemed so carefree and happy like there’s no problem weighing you down. the scene before him made him want to protect you more but he knows that he can’t. he has applied to a military academy which means he needs to move. for 4 years, he won’t see you. he won’t be with you. he won’t be able to watch and protect you closely.
“Gavin! look! there’s a kitten here!” your voice broke Gavin’s contemplation. he looked up, gave you a smile, and jogged over to where you were crouching down.
there was a small white kitten with orange spots purring. the kitten was playing with the tree before you arrived and immediately came to you. the kitten seemed to be waiting for its mother.
you were transfixed and busy playing with the kitten to notice Gavin watching you with a smile on his face. you only turned to him when the kitten’s mother came and walked away with it.
“what?” you asked when you noticed Gavin only staring at you.
he shook his head and said, “nothing. come on let’s sit there.” he pointed at the bench nearby and made his way to it.
you’re probably gonna talk about the things that had happened. are you ready? no, absolutely not. you’re dreading for this moment to come. you’re afraid once you sat down with him, you would have to deal with the awkwardness you’re trying to avoid. you’re afraid that you will feel the shift in your (relationship) friendship with him (as if the shift didn’t happen already by the time he stopped appearing on the school gate).
you jogged over his direction, trying to prepare yourself for the worst-case scenarios you’ve created in your head what if he formally rejects you? or what if he says how he started to uncomfortable because of you? what if he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore?
you finally sat down on the bench, trying to sit not too close to him, and was welcomed by silence. what now? should i say something or wait for him since he’s the one who called you over.
“i’m moving out.” those three words hung heavy on the air. you never thought how these three words are so capable of making your heart drop to your stomach. it never occurred to you that he will move out. sure there’s a possibility since he’s gonna be a freshman in college soon but you always thought that he’ll just study at Loveland University which is close.
“i’m enrolling to a military academy, which is on the outskirts of Loveland, almost near the next town that’s why I can’t stay here.” Gavin continued to speak while you’re still trying to gather your thoughts. you’re still unable to process all of this.
he never looked at you once, when he said those things. he knows that when he sees the look on your face, he’ll turn back and just enroll in Loveland University so he can still (be with you) keep an eye on you.
his father never liked him and that’s okay with Gavin. he’s used to never seeing his father for months with only his mother and his little brother appreciating his presence. but then his mother died because of an accident and his little brother was taken by his father because he was his favorite. from time to time, his father would come home but most of the time, Gavin’s on his own. he never saw his father smiled at him so when he smiled when Gavin told him that he’ll enroll in a military academy sent shivers down his spine. his words still rung in his head, “you’re not so useless after all”.
Gavin didn’t enroll because of his father. it’s because of his mother. her mother taught her about being just and good, how even if the world is in chaos, justice should and always will prevail in the end. he wanted to be the one to let justice prevail. he wanted to keep the peace and order in the world no matter how hard it is because his mother taught him that.
that’s why he didn’t hesitate to send his applications in. he tried to do his best to do well in the exams just to get accepted. all he wanted to do was to be enrolled and to get away from the city, but that was before you came along. he never expected that it would be this hard to leave now that he had found someone in his life who cares about him that isn’t his mother.
“oh wow. that’s great. it really is for you. i’m so happy for you, Gavin.” was your response. you really are happy for him because it seems like he finally found a place that’s right for him and you couldn’t be more proud.
“when are you leaving?”
“tonight. training will immediately start the day after that so i need to be on the campus tonight to settle and arrange the things i’ve got.” he finally looked at you and gave you a small apologetic smile.
“tonight? that fast? but we just finished school today how is it that the training is near?”
“it’s like a preliminary training. it will last for 5 weeks. they’ll assess us first based on our performance and we’ll be assigned different programs that fit our skills best. after the preliminary training, there will be a 2 weeks orientation which is the last chance to back out before the school actually starts. when the classes start, you are not allowed to drop out unless your condition isn’t the best and fit for the school and training.”
you weren’t actually paying attention to his words. you can’t help but to think that this will be the last time that you will see him. he just showed up again after those months and now, he’s saying that he’s leaving again. you’re just too stunned.
Gavin seemed to read your mind and said, “i know it’s our first time to see each other again after months and it sucks that i’m leaving again. i’m sorry but i just need to see you once more before i leave.”
there he goes again, saying those words that confuse you. why would he want to see you before he leaves? just... why?
“come on. i’ll take you somewhere else before you go home.” he stood up and took your hand, leaving no room for objections (as if you would).
you and Gavin arrived on the spot of the park you’ve never been into before. it looks like no one has been coming here for a long time. the fountain in the middle still runs but it’s not maintained because of the leaves floating around. there’s also a wooden swing and a bench nearby. it’s quieter than the entrance of the park where you were earlier. it’s almost secluded.
“i never knew this existed in the park. it looks like the old park i hear my dad talk about. how did you find this? it’s beautiful! we could use this as our new hangout place” you said as you observed the place.
“i just found out about it not long and i figured i’d share this place with you,” Gavin replied.
silence followed Gavin’s voice as you continue to look around. despite the old park was not maintained, the grass remained low. wildflowers are also blossoming all around.
“hey.” Gavin’s voice called you out. you turned to look at him and just then noticed how you were still holding his hand. your eyes grew wide and tried to pull your hand away from him but his grip remained tight.
“wait for me, okay?” he said and looked into your eyes.
“i’ll come back, i promise. wait for me. there’s a lot we still have to do and talk about. i will make up to the months i’ve been away with you and the years to come where i won’t be on your side, so please wait for me.” Gavin said, his voice filled with sincerity. you can feel his thumb drawing circles on your hands and somehow, that gesture calms your racing heart for a bit.
you remained silent so he continued, “keep wearing your bracelet until the day i come back, so i’ll know that you’re still waiting for me, okay?”
his gaze was soft and full of emotions you can’t read. your head was all over the place and you don’t know what to say. you were overwhelmed with emotions and you started to feel your nose tingle so before tears start to form, you lowered your head and just nodded.
Gavin chuckled and pulled you closer. you feel his warmth as his arms engulfed you into a hug. it felt comfortable, safe, and almost like... home. it was the first time Gavin hugged you and it made you want to stay in it forever.
—
after securing the deal with Victor, LFG’s mighty CEO, you’re more swamped with work. you were waiting for Victor’s response to your email regarding the monthly report he asked and you’re now in the middle of screening for a new employee and so far, it’s not going well. the applicants were qualified but they don’t have the qualities you are looking for.
“there’s only one left. hopefully, this one fits our company. i feel like i’m going crazy!” Kiki sighed and called the last applicant.
you received a notification from Victor so you opened his email. you crossed your fingers, hoping that he won’t ask you to rewrite and send it again.
“surprisingly an okay report. don’t forget the meeting tomorrow at 2 pm. don’t be late.” was Victor’s reply. completely straightforward, which is totally his style. you cheered internally and replied a simple response before turning your attention to the applicant that Kiki and Anna are screening.
“Minor?!” you blurted upon seeing his face. your communication with him stopped when you entered college as you became busy with your requirements and your father’s death two years ago.
“oh? didn’t expect to see you here!” Minor, who was unlike you, was not that shocked to see you.
“you two know each other?” Kiki exclaimed.
“yeah. we were in the same class in high school,” you answered and the interview with him went on.
he came with some proposals and ideas for shows which seemed really interesting and original so you, Anna and Kiki decided to hire him.
seeing Minor definitely brought back a lot of memories in high school. Minor reminded you of him. you start to wonder how he’s doing. it’s been years since you last heard of him. you have no idea where he is now or what he’s become. since he applied to a military academy, communication with him hadn’t been easy and almost impossible. cellphones weren’t allowed inside and even sending letters to him was hard so you lost touch with him.
you unknowingly fiddled with the ginkgo charm on your bracelet. it has become a habit of yours whenever you’re not doing anything. it also gives you a strange feeling of calmness every time like he’s there by your side. even though you’ve lost touch with him over the years, you never took it off. you’re still hoping that he’ll come back as he said, but a part of you thinks that he won’t because it has been so long since his promise. you weren’t sure that he’ll find you. you’ve moved to a new apartment since your father died. although it’s still within Loveland, it’s a new apartment complex that was just built right after Gavin left for the academy.
after your work, you proceeded to go to the food stall where Gavin took you on the day he left. it’s still the same but it was bigger. you stopped coming here when you started at the university.
the familiar smell greeted you once you’ve entered the place. it wasn’t too crowded like every time you came here but there are still people eating.
“oh my! it’s you. i haven’t seen you for so long.” the owner greeted you as soon as he saw you. you’ve grown close with the owners here as you were a regular here. one summer, you even helped them out by taking orders. they took good care of you and treated you well.
“yeah. i’m sorry i stopped coming. i became busy with the university so i didn’t have the time to.” you replied to the enthusiastic man in front of you.
“don’t worry too much about it. i’ve also heard about what happened to your father. we’re sorry that we couldn’t be with you during those hard times.” the man sat you at a nearby table that’s empty.
“it’s alright. i’m sure you were busy too. how’s your son doing?” you started talking with him, catching up with the things you have missed out on.
your talk didn’t last as a new customer came in and called for his attention to order something. he asked if you’ll get your usual and when you nodded, he gave you a small smile and went to the other customer.
you looked around and saw a corkboard with lots of sticky notes on it. you stood up and went towards it. every sticky note contains short messages about everything: about the food, the ambiance of the place, and some sentimental words addressed to different people.
you were scanning some notes when a note that was stuck at the very bottom caught your eye. it said, “as long as you’re in the wind, i can feel you.” there’s something about it that feels familiar to you. could it be? nah. he isn’t this type of person. you read the note once more and noticed something that’s written very tiny. you squinted your eyes to read it. “i’ve come back. i’ll find you.” you might be delusional but could it be really him? there’s no way, right? he’s not the only one who left so it’s probably not him. then again, those words hit too close to home for you right now to assume that it’s not him.
your train of thoughts was suddenly cut off when the owner called you out, letting you know that your food had arrived. you turned away and finally ate the food in front of you. the familiar taste made you forget your thoughts earlier.
you paid for your meal after you finished it and decided to go to the park that Gavin discovered. you always go there whenever you’re stressed from work or whenever you just needed a quiet place to think.
just like the usual, it was quiet. the fountain isn’t working anymore unlike the first time you went here but other than that, it looked the same the last time you went here.
upon sitting down to the wooden swing, you heard something within the bushes. you looked around and saw a cat that was stuck. it was a white cat with orange spots that seemed familiar to you. you free the cat and it immediately came to you. your curiosity is at its peak so you looked at the belly of the cat. it has a spot that looks like a heart. you gasped. it’s the cat—or kitten— that you played with when Gavin first brought you here. you can’t forget the cat because of its heart-shaped spot on its belly.
what’s going on? today seemed really weird. the day started with you reuniting with Minor, that note from the food stall, and now this cat. why does everything seem to remind you of him?
“i knew i’d find you here.” a voice from behind rang in your ears. your heart started to race and your thoughts are running wild because it’s that voice—his voice! are you going crazy? have you been thinking of him too much to actually hear his voice now?
nonetheless, you braced yourself and stood up to confirm if you really heard something or if your ears are just playing games with you.
you turned around and felt your heart stop. he’s there, standing, with his hands on his pocket, smiling. is this real or are you hallucinating right now?
“i’m really here. you’re not hallucinating.” Gavin spoke as you apparently just spoke your thoughts out loud.
you felt stuck. you wanted to move and look away but for some reason, you can’t. you’re glued to your spot, eyes fixed on his face that you haven’t seen for a long time. he undoubtedly looked more handsome and manly. his body seemed to be more lean yet muscular. his voice is also deeper than the last time you remember.
seeing you still in shock, Gavin took the initiative to move towards you. his face is adorned with the same tender smile that seems only reserved for you. emotions are swirling inside you. you can’t believe that he’s really here in flesh.
Gavin stopped in front of you and slowly opened his arms. as if there’s an invisible force, you gravitated towards him and the next thing you knew, you were enveloped into a hug that you missed. the hug felt the same; warm, comfortable, safe, like home.
you can feel how his heart is racing and it made you glad that you are not the only one reacting the same. it seemed like all these years, your feelings for him didn’t change as you thought but rather, it was just buried deep down your heart.
your nose started to feel a tingling sensation, a signal that you’re about to cry. you tried to control the tears forming in your eyes but when you feel Gavin tracing circles on your back with his hands, you lost it. he’s really here, holding you, after years of waiting for him.
Gavin chuckled and tightened his grip as if you’d slip away. his other hand also smoothed your hair to soothe you down which was effective as you soon stopped crying. the two of you remained in that position for a while, feeling each other’s presence that both of you missed.
you wiped your tear-streaked face and looked up. your face was so close to his and it startled you, causing your legs to turn to jelly which made you stumble. Gavin was quick to tighten his arms around your waist to prevent you from falling.
“you okay?” he asked you gently, his eyes showing a mixture of worry and happiness.
“yeah i am. i can’t believe you’re here.” you looked up again, trying to disregard the proximity between you two.
“me too. i just got off work and thought that it would be nice to walk around and go here. i never thought that i’d see you here today but here i am.”
“and i’m still waiting for you. look!” you pulled your arms away from his body which is muscular as hell, probably from his workout and lifted your wrist for him to see the bracelet still on you.
when Gavin saw the familiar bracelet, his eyes lit up more, and said, “you really waited for me after all these years, huh?”
“of course i did. you promised me that you’ll come back so i waited for you even if it took some time.”
“i’m sorry it took so long.” Gavin rubbed his nape with his free hand because his other hand is still holding your waist and apologized.
you playfully hit his chest and said, “it’s okay. what’s important is that you’re here now, right? come on, let’s sit! we have a lot to catch up on.”
you pulled him to a bench and sat so you can talk. you have so many questions you wanted to ask.
“we have the lifetime for your questions, but there’s one thing i’ve been meaning to say,” Gavin said as he grabbed your wrist, preventing you to walk away. you looked at him and waited for him to talk.
“Minor has been pushing me to say this ever since we were in high school. i went back and forth with my decisions but i made my mind up in the end. i like you. i didn’t say this earlier because i’m not worthy of you. you were this cheerful, friendly young student with a wonderful future. i didn’t want to ruin that so i didn’t confess. i wanted to be someone that’s worthy of you so i held back and worked on myself. i originally planned to confess when i gave you this bracelet but decided not to so when you confessed to me that night, it took every fiber of me not to confess.” all throughout, Gavin’s gaze didn’t waver as if you’re the only thing he sees.
hearing these words from him created a tidal wave of emotions within you. you’ve always wanted to hear this. you imagined this scenario over and over again but now that it happened, you didn’t know what to do or how to react. it feels surreal and much better than what you had imagined.
“those months after you confessed, i stopped waiting for you at the front gate, right? i’ve realized that i needed to be better and deserving for you so i spent all my time preparing for the academy. i stayed away from fights and trouble as much as i could. i know that it hurt you and i’m sorry for that. i truly am. i’m just afraid that i might say the wrong thing. but i’m here now, and i want to make up for the time where i wasn’t in your life. however now, i care even more about your future, our future. i want to share the future with you hand in hand. that’s the best possible future i can imagine.” Gavin remained in his position, his hand still on your wrist.
you can’t hold back your tears anymore so you ran towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist. in there, you said “silly. you don’t need to be sorry.”
Gavin laughed at the adjective you used for him and returned your hug. you felt his whole body vibrated when he laughed and it made you laugh too.
who would have thought that after all these years, you’d meet him again in this place? if in the past, this is where Gavin bid you goodbye, now he’s here to say that he’ll stay with you forever to make up for all of the time lost. who would’ve thought that after all this time, it’s still you and him no matter what.