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The first time it happens, she doesn’t think much of it.
After all, is Tomioka-san really someone who’d have such underlying intentions? As someone who’s known him for well over four years now, not to mention most likely the best out of the Hashira, she thinks her conclusion on the matter is solid.
He wouldn’t dare pull such a thing with something so sinister in mind. That’s how much of an airhead he is.
Which is why when she feels the sudden warmth of his hand encircle hers, she can’t say there’s more to it than a simple act of rescue. They’re caught in the mess of another demon extermination, and as she’d come to learn with Oyakata-sama, the team of her and Tomioka-san is one of his more favoured matchups.
She’d say that it’s because no one can speak to Tomioka-san as well as she does, though deep down, there’s a spark of enjoyment that fires through her when they’re paired on a mission together. Despite all his airheadedness and his sheer reluctance to talk, it really is quite fun with Tomioka-san.
He always seems to be especially aware of her presence when they’re taking on a higher ranked demon together, somehow at her side faster than she can blink just as a deadly move takes its course. This is one of those many moments.
The demon they’d been tasked to exterminate had been notorious for its ability to clone itself, creating a vast number of relatively weaker, yet abundant clones as a distraction before making its escape. Shinobu had decided on their plan of attack early on; Tomioka-san was undoubtedly much stronger than she was, so it was integral he went after the demon’s main body. In turn, she’d take care of the clones so he wouldn’t have had to worry about it.
At first, the plan had gone smoothly. Shinobu had dropped in on the demon clones from one of the trees higher up, plunging straight into a clone that was a few distances away from the crowd. She’d taken it out with one swift swipe of her blade, the poison working much quicker than usual as she’d employed one with a higher lethal dose.
Of course, this had attracted the attention of the clones and a number of them had come racing her direction. She’d been much too prepared for this, jumping on a lower tree branch first, before jumping on a few heads of the demons that had dared to confront her. Her small figure had allowed her the ease of navigating through the sea of clones without so much of a scratch, her light-footedness stopping her from stepping on their heads longer than usual.
Things had only started to go downhill when Tomioka-san hadn’t been as stealthy as they’d expected. A significant amount of stray clones had caught sight of him, not distracted by Shinobu’s little ambush, and had immediately headed in his direction. It was clear that if they didn’t take care of the clones quickly, the demon would be able to escape again.
Shinobu had changed her course of direction, trying to capture the attention of the strays once more. Whatever Tomioka-san was doing, it wasn’t working.
However, she’d been too distracted with trying to plan a move to match his that she didn’t realise she’d lost her footing before it was too late. One of the clones’ heads were too far for her to jump to, causing her to miss its head entirely. The force of gravity had rammed her harder than anticipated as she fell to the floor, trying to use her other foot to steady her.
Yet before she could tumble down completely, the warmth of his hand had become her moment of saving grace.
Tomioka-san had somehow sped in her direction quicker than her fall, his hand gripping hers as he pulls her away from the mass of demon clones.
He is quick to support her, switching his hold on her hand to an arm around her waist as he leaps onto a nearby tree branch, placing them above ground. It all happens too fast that she can barely register the feeling of his arm around hers, but the warmth of his hand lingers in her mind.
“Be careful, Kochou,” he says to her, voice gruffer than usual as her violet eyes snap to his.
He’d let go, yet she swears she can still feel his hand in hers.
“Thank you, Tomioka-san,” she replies, deciding not to say much more else.
He only nods, looking away. That’s all there is to it.
Yet the second time it happens, there’s no demon clones to exterminate.
In fact, they’re nowhere near any traces of demon at all. Oyakata-sama had decided to give them a break before assigning a new mission in a few days, allowing Shinobu to make time for her research at the Butterfly Estate.
What she hadn’t expected, however, was for Tomioka-san to make such an unexpected visit. As far as she knew, he too was off-duty. She’s not all too sure what he does during this time off, but visiting the Butterfly Estate for things aside from a health checkup is not one of them.
“Tomioka-san?” she repeats after Aoi had stumbled into her office, looking a degree more flustered than usual.
The young girl nods, equally as surprised as she is. “He’s sitting on the porch.”
Shinobu frowns, placing her glass bottle down. “On the porch? Did you not invite him inside?”
“I did but, Tomioka-sama was insistent on staying outside.”
“Whatever for?”
She almost wants to sigh at his behaviour.
“He was asking for you specifically, Kochou-sama.”
“I see,” she nods, her lips twitching. It seems that research will not be on her agenda today. There’s a certain Water Hashira that wants to make her life difficult.
Shinobu stands up from her seat, following Aoi to where Tomioka-san was supposed to be. As she’d reported, they find him leaning against one of the wooden poles, sitting on the porch. Aoi looks up at her, and she nods, granting her leave.
As Aoi turns on her heel, one lingering look at the pair before heading away, Shinobu’s eyes are kept on the unusual composition of his signature haori. He hasn’t revealed anything about it to her thus far, but she has an inkling that neither were originally his. It just seems like something he would do.
The young Hashira clears her throat, feet lightly padding against the wooden floors. Tomioka-san looks up, turning to see her approach. Funnily enough, he doesn’t make a move to stand, confusing her and making her frown all at once.
“Tomioka-san,” she greets, keeping her tone level. “It’s a surprise to see you here. Is there another injury you’d like me to look at?”
“Kochou,” he replies, before shaking her head. As she’d suspected, this isn’t one of his usual checkups. Still, the true purpose of his visit evades her.
“Then what is the purpose of your visit today, Tomioka-san? I must let you know that despite the break granted to us, there are still matters that require my attention.”
He goes quiet after that, his dark blue eyes shifting across her face. Shinobu isn’t sure whether she’s said the wrong thing or not, but judging from the strange, almost sulky look on his face, it’s not the answer he’d been wanting.
“I shouldn’t disturb you then, Kochou,” he finally utters, beginning to stand from his seat, and Shinobu blinks. She really shouldn’t be surprised by some of the things he does; anything unexpected should be on her list of expectations, and yet this takes her off guard.
There’s something he’s hiding and with enough prodding, she’s sure to make him spill. Wisteria research aside, it seems that Tomioka-san remains a subject she is still far too unknowledgeable about, much to her misfortune.
“Wait, Tomioka-san, you don’t have to leave.”
He pauses in his tracks, gaze meeting hers. “You’re busy.”
Her brow twitches, but she restrains herself from saying something more that would encourage his leave. Somehow, she’s ended up in a position where she needs him to stay.
“I can spare you some time. You’ve come all this way to see me, have you not?”
Tomioka-san nods, his gaze shifting downward.
“So, would you like to come inside? Or would the porch remain a more favourable location for you?”
“Let’s stay here.”
She’d been ready to head back inside, but in pure Tomioka-san fashion, he chooses the route less chosen. Shinobu decides to humour him, nodding as he takes a seat back onto the porch. She steps closer to sit beside him, leaving a polite distance between them.
She can’t say she’s done this with the other Hashira before. While they’re colleagues, and often grouped, that’s pretty much all they are. There are only three she’d remotely call her ‘close’ friends (Himejima-san is more of a father figure), and surprisingly, Tomioka-san is one of them.
Despite his brooding nature and overall reluctance to speak, she finds that he is a pleasant person to talk to when he does decide to open his mouth. He’s quite blunt, and surprisingly quick-witted when he wants to be, but those moments are far and in between. Still, he is pleasant company, despite all her teasings.
“So, Tomioka-san, what’s on your mind?”
She turns to look at him, but he doesn’t look back. From this angle, she has the perfect view of his side profile. No matter all that she’s said about him, objectively speaking, Tomioka-san is really very attractive. His unruly mess of raven hair could be tamed a little better, but she finds she quite likes the long hair. It brings out the dark blue in his eyes, ones that are as deep as the ocean he wields. His sharp nose and milky skin are features she thinks add to his attractive appearance. She can still remember that one time she’d witnessed the uncharacteristic grin of his as he’d heartily consumed a bowl of salmon-daikon, and without all the soup dripping from his face, he did look quite cute.
“...Kochou.”
Shinobu blinks, finding those dark blue eyes staring back at her, and she almost flinches. What is she doing? Had she been staring all this time?
She coughs, clearing her throat. “Yes, Tomioka-san?” she asks, trying her best to look as innocent as possible. Perhaps the airheadedness will work in her favour.
“Is there something on my face?”
Or perhaps not.
Her lips freeze, eyes lifting higher into crescent moons. “This is why everybody dislikes you, Tomioka-san.”
He frowns. “No one dislikes me.”
Shinazugawa-san and Iguro-san do , she thinks, but that’s something for another day.
“Only if you keep asking things like that.”
“If there’s something on my face?” he asks in confusion, and she almost wants to laugh.
“There’s nothing on your face, Tomioka-san. Can’t I just, look?”
She doesn’t even think what she did was looking , but well, she’s not sure what even came over her.
He blinks, lifting a hand to his face. “Is it, okay?”
Shinobu is at a loss. Where is this conversation even going? What is even happening?
She settles on a hum. “It’s enough.”
This is where things turn weird and strange. Just like the last time, it happens too fast for her to properly register. But unlike the last, it doesn’t happen out of necessity.
Tomioka-san reaches out to caress the edges of her palm lightly, Shinobu too stunned to move. She glances down to watch him, his fingers beginning to curl around hers. It’s not as tightly gripping as the last, and she’s not sure this really counts as them holding hands, but as she instinctively lifts her palm a little higher, his hand slips through. She feels his palm brush against hers, fingers giving her a light squeeze, and then as fast as it first happened, he pulls away.
He’s standing up before she can say anything, but her arms work faster. Her fingers are supposed to reach out to grab the sleeve of his haori, to ask what he’s doing, but they brush against the tips of his fingers for a second time that afternoon.
There’s a spark that runs through her, the hairs all over her body flinching up at the sudden contact, and she pauses. Tomioka-san is frozen in place; perhaps he too felt that spark.
But he scampers off quickly, leaving in his wake the memory of the graze of his hand against hers.
It happens again, with even stranger circumstances than the last.
The moment they had on her porch became a recurring dream in the weeks following, Shinobu unable to get the memory of his hand out of her mind. They hadn’t spoken of it when they saw each other again, teamed up on yet another mission, and she doubts they’ll ever speak of it.
She wishes she could ask someone about it, but quite frankly, it’s quite embarrassing. Did they even really hold hands? It had been more of a touch and squeeze, a graze even, but to hold hands?
Shinobu doesn’t want to begin to think about what Kanroji-san would say about it if she’d heard. The girl, while she has good intentions at heart, would probably conclude that it’s an act of love.
But love? In her world? It would never happen.
Especially not with Tomioka-san.
Though it’s a thought she doesn’t find strange to entertain. He is very attractive, and the view she’d had of him up close had undeniably changed a few things on her perception of him. He is a good company too, and she doesn’t mind spending long periods with him. There are still things she wishes to learn about him, but she will let him take his time.
Perhaps, in another life…
She shakes her head, refusing to let her thoughts go down that route. She doesn’t have the luxury yet, to muse over things that could never happen.
“Kochou.”
And speaking of the person who’d unwillingly clouded her thoughts the past few weeks, Shinobu turns around on her heel to meet his dark blue gaze. It’s almost imperceptible, but she’s known him long enough to see that he’s curious.
They’re standing just outside of the apothecary she’d visited for more herbs, and Shinobu is surprised to see him around. She hasn’t heard from him in a few days, doesn’t know what he’s been up to. But he looks good.
“Tomioka-san, what a surprise,” she greets, clutching her basket of herbs. “What are you doing here?”
He doesn’t say anything, pointing to a familiar restaurant across the street. Immediately she understands.
“Too much salmon-daikon isn’t good for you,” she hums, and somehow they’re walking down the street, paces matched.
Tomioka-san shrugs. “It’s good food.”
“But not for your health.”
“You should try it,” he says, and she glances up at him. He’s so tall.
“One day perhaps. I’d much prefer to eat something a little sweeter.”
He frowns. “Salmon-daikon can be sweet.”
Shinobu giggles softly to herself, shaking her head. He never does fail to amuse her.
“If you say so, Tomioka-san.”
A comfortable silence washes over the two, and for once, she’s not tempted to fill up the silence. Most of the time, she’d prod him, or continue chattering to try and draw some conversation from him, but silence, she now finds, is just as good too. It’s not awkward at all, despite what her fellow Hashira would think. Sometimes, a little quiet is all you need.
“Is it heavy?”
Shinobu blinks, glancing up at him.
“What is?”
He motions to the basket she keeps hugged around her chest. She indeed bought a lot more than usual, seeing as how her medicinal herb stock is running low, but it’s not heavy. Not really.
“It’s fine Tomioka-san.”
But he doesn’t seem convinced. She knows this because the next thing she knows, she feels him begin to pull the basket away from her.
Instinctively, she holds onto it a little tighter, but Tomioka-san stubbornly pulls it back. Of course, she’s at the disadvantage here, though that doesn’t mean she can’t try.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to help,” he replies, catching her off guard with his response. It’s in this moment that her grip loosens slightly, Tomioka-san taking the basket away from her. He holds it easily in one hand, leaving the hand closest to hers swinging freely.
Glancing down is a mistake. Instantly, she’s reminded of the dreams that had plagued her since that day. His warm hands, as fleeting as the moment had been, emanated a warmth she hasn’t felt in a long time. In the few seconds they shared, it felt safe.
And now, seeing his hand again brings forth the urge to hold it again back to the surface. It’s impossible to shoo it away now, not when his hand is right there. It’s swinging freely, almost tauntingly, close to hers, and while she knows she should put more distance between them to avoid touching, she can’t bring herself to. She wants to hold his hand.
As though reading her mind, his hand slowly snakes around hers, gripping it lightly. His fingers hold onto her own as though they are delicates, not wanting to push further in fear of breakage.
But Shinobu wants to feel more of his hand against hers; she wants him to grip her tight like he did when he saved her from the clones.
So she steps closer to him, thankful that their sleeves are long enough to hide the closeness of their hands. To an outsider, it would appear as though there are two people simply standing close together.
Yet in reality, their hands are interlocked. She shifts his fingers upward so that they are no longer only touching the tips. Instead, she manoeuvres her palm into his, squeezing his hand in reassurance. She can feel his hand freeze at the action, their eyes coming to meet each other at once, but neither says a word.
They continue to walk, hands intertwined, and hearts beating to the rhythm of the other.
Shinobu comes to learn that she really likes holding Tomioka-san’s hand.
It’s not a sentence she ever thought she’d come to say, but it’s the truth. His hands are callous from the years of strenuous training he’s placed himself under, rough and bumpy. Yet despite its rugged nature, his hand is warmer than anyone’s she’s ever felt.
His hand encloses around hers like it’s a missing puzzle piece. Her hand, so small and so fragile, is enveloped and cradled as though he’s keeping her safe from the turmoils the world has to offer. She offers him a touch of softness, to contrast the roughness of his skin, and he later admits to enjoying it very much.
They hold hands in secret, in moments when no one would expect. She doesn’t think anyone has seen them yet, but if they have, no one’s said much of anything.
She enjoys the feeling of his hand brushing against hers when they’re around too many people that they cannot do much more. Yet once they’re alone, with no eyes to peek, he whisks her away, their hands glued together.
It’s a simple happiness, something that remains as one of her most cherished moments, and she’s glad that Tomioka-san had come to visit that day. She still doesn’t know the reason why he came, but she doesn’t really mind anymore.
“Kochou.”
She looks up. “Yes, Tomioka-san?”
“I want to hold your hand.”
Shinobu blinks, her cheeks flushed from the directness of his words, and her nose twitches in embarrassment.
“You didn’t have to say it like that,” she halfheartedly scolds, but her fingers come to lace around his anyway.
Her hand in his, like it’s supposed to be.