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Chapter Text

“Do you think the new transfer student is gonna be cute?” 

Sunghoon sighed, glaring at the clock and silently willing for class to just start already so he wouldn’t have to deal with Jay’s nonsense. “Jongseong, you literally have a boyfriend,” he said exasperatedly. 

“Yeah, you literally have a boyfriend,” Jungwon echoed. He jabbed Jay in the chest with his pencil, and the boy fell back in his chair dramatically as if he’d been dealt a mortal blow. 

When they’d been given the choice of picking their seats in homeroom at the beginning of the year, Sunghoon had of course went with the seat right behind his two closest friends. This turned out to be a huge miscalculation. Once they had finally gotten their shit together and came to terms with their feelings, Sunghoon was stuck in full view of the pair of disgustingly lovesick idiots. There is nothing more annoying than a lovesick idiot when you are not one of them, which Park Sunghoon most definitely was not. 

“Not for me obviously,” said Jay, righting himself with a grin and smacking a loud air kiss in Jungwon’s direction. Sunghoon gagged. “Maybe the newcomer will be the one to finally thaw Hoonie’s frozen heart.” 

“My heart is not frozen. It just doesn’t beat for idiots like you,” Sunghoon said crossly. 

“C’mon hyung, we all know you only care about studying,” Jungwon said. Traitor. 

“What a surprise. You’re taking Jay’s side,” he said drily. 

“Because Jay’s side is the cold hard truth,” Jay said. “You need to lighten up a little. Drop the books. Meet a cute boy. Maybe join a club?” He waggled his eyebrows meaningfully. 

“For the last time, I’m not joining your stupid music club,” he groused. Jay had been pestering him about it for ages. It wasn’t that Sunghoon had anything against music. But he didn’t play guitar like Jay, and he couldn’t write lyrics like Jungwon. Sure he sang a little, but not in front of people. On top of all that, he saw plenty enough of his idiot friends during school hours, which left him with very little incentive or reason to join the music club. And he’d be damned if he picked up the triangle. 

The bell finally rang just as Jay was opening his mouth to argue. Sunghoon tauntingly spun his finger in a circle, and Jay reluctantly turned to face forward in his chair with a huff. 

“Okay class, we have a new student joining us today, as I’ve been mentioning for the past week. I hope you’ll all give him a warm welcome,” the teacher announced. She looked towards the door, and everyone else craned their neck to see. A boy stepped hesitantly into the room. His face was turned towards the floor, but Sunghoon could see he had a head of fluffy black hair and slender white hands that were nervously clenched around the straps of his backpack. 

“Kim Sunoo, why don’t you introduce yourself?” The teacher prompted warmly. The boy took a few more tentative steps. Then stopped. Sunghoon waited, curious despite himself. Sunoo lifted his head. 

“Oh shit,” Sunghoon mumbled. 

“Oh shit,” Jay hissed giddily. Sunghoon managed to supress the urge to smack him upside the head, but only because his focus was completely fixated on the front of the room. 

Sunoo had wide, feline-like eyes that were a honey brown color, and Sunghoon was silently grateful that his seat was in the second row so that he could notice such a detail. He had a tall, elegantly sloping nose and rosy lips that matched the flush on his cheekbones. He was the prettiest boy he had ever seen. Sunghoon sat, enraptured, and waited for his first words. 

They never came.

Sunoo's shoulders dropped, and he turned towards the teacher, giving his head a little shake. She sighed, before smiling at him kindly. “Well why don’t you go ahead and take the seat behind Sunghoon then?” 

Sunghoon froze. Jay and Jungwon turned to stare at him. In the midst of their bickering, all three of them had somehow forgotten that the only empty seat in the class was right behind him. Of course it was. 

Sunoo silently made his way over, stepping in between Jay and Jungwon’s desks to plop into the one behind Sunghoon. His two friends openly stared at the boy as he passed by, and Sunghoon kicked the back of Jay’s chair. 

Jay turned to frown at him. What? He mouthed. 

Stop staring, Sunghoon mouthed back. He got an eye roll in return. 

The teacher began her lecture, and Sunghoon drummed his fingers on his desk restlessly, trying to resist the urge to turn around. He heard a snort come from in front of him, and he stilled his hand. Oh to hell with it. It was polite to greet a new classmate, wasn’t it? 

He swiveled around to face the boy. “Sunoo, was it?” He whispered, with what he hoped was a welcoming smile. Sunoo looked up at him with wide eyes and nodded mutely. Sunghoon racked his brain for something to say. “How are you enjoying it here?” 

Sunoo’s demeanor immediately changed. His shy but open expression became closed off and he hunched in on himself like he had in the front of the class. Instead of answering, he pressed his lips into a thin line and shrugged, before looking away, effectively signaling the end of the conversation. Sunghoon blinked, and when it became clear that Sunoo was done with him he turned back around, cheeks burning. He saw Jungwon’s pitying look out of the corner of his eye (of course the brat had been watching the whole interaction), but he kept his head hung low and did his work silently for the rest of class. 

Meet a cute boy, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

This was what happened when he took advice from lovesick idiots who were intent on converting him into their kind. Nothing good ever came from becoming infatuated with someone. 

So why couldn’t he get those golden brown eyes out of his head?

---

“Well that was an epic fail.” 

“All those admirers, and he gets rejected by the one boy he approaches first.” 

“Guess he’s not single by choice after all.” 

Sunghoon glared at his two idiot friends, who were antagonizing him while lazing around leisurely on his bed. “Will you two shut up? I did not get rejected. I didn’t!” He emphasized as Jay began to snicker. “And I will be remaining single for the forseeable future.” Jungwon covered Jay’s mouth to stifle his giggles, all while openly laughing himself. “By choice,” Sunghoon added forcefully.

"How are you enjoying it here?" Jay mimicked Sunghoon's deep voice. "What a brilliant thing to ask someone who's been there for all of two minutes." Sunghoon felt heat rise in his face again at the memory.  

“Okay okay, now that we’re done teasing Hoonie—” 

“I will never be done,” Jay interjected. 

Jungwon continued, ignoring him. “I actually don’t think he was trying to ignore you, hyung,” he said with a thoughtful frown. “We met him at music club after school, and I don’t think he talks. Like, at all.” 

Sunghoon frowned. Sunoo was mute? Now that he thought about it, he hadn't introduced himself to the class either. Then the other part of what Jungwon said registered with him, and he perked up. “He’s in your club?” 

“What, now you’re interested?” Jay exclaimed in disbelief.  

“No,” Sunghoon replied defensively. “That would be hypocritical of me, and it would mean that I care more about getting to know some boy I just met than spending time with you.” 

Jay snorted. “We’ll see about that,” he said.

Sunghoon signed up for music club the next day. 

Chapter Text

Sunghoon couldn’t stop himself from biting his nails, an anxious habit that he could never quite manage to kick. He was nervous. 

Seeing Sunoo again was one thing, after the failed conversation of yesterday. This morning Sunghoon hadn’t even tried to attempt to speak to him again. Not because he didn’t want to- but if Jungwon was right, and Sunoo really couldn’t speak, he didn’t want to put the boy in an uncomfortable position. 

Then there was the other thing. That thing being the fact that some lovesick idiot had possessed his body and signed himself up for music club. Jay’s music club. The club whose supervisor was the one and only Mrs. Park, the only woman who terrified him more than his own mother. He knew Jay delighted in this knowledge. 

In addition, he didn’t know what kind of contribution he could possibly make there. This was the case he had made several times for not joining, to which Jay always countered with the same rebuttal. 

“You like writing, don’t you? Write songs with Jungwonie.” 

“I like creative writing,” Sunghoon corrected. “I’m not a lyricist.” 

Jay would wave his hand dismissively, insisting that he would “figure it out.” 

Well the time for figuring it out had finally arrived, because he was on his way to his first meeting right now. He was flanked on either side by Jay and Jungwon, who had each linked one of his arms with theirs in what Sunghoon suspected was a preventative measure in case he got cold feet and tried to make a run for it. 

“I can’t believe that after all my years of begging, all it took was a pretty boy to do the trick. Am I not pretty enough for you?” The boy on his left whined. 

Sunghoon disentangled his arm from Jay’s in disgust. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” 

“Anyways," Jay continued, "We should come up with a game plan for you. I personally suggest you play hard to get." 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jungwon remarked.

If even Jungwon was disagreeing with Jay, Sunghoon thought, that meant it was doubly bad advice. 

“Why not?" Jay said. "It’s a classic, always works.” 

Sunghoon looked at him disbelievingly. “When have you ever played hard to get, Jay?” If his memory served him right, the closest Jay had ever come to playing "hard to get" was signing the secret admirer notes he left in Jungwon's desk with the wrong initials to throw him off. He had continued on with this until Sunghoon knocked some sense into him and told him that if he ever wanted to get the boy, he needed to "stop hiding behind anonymous notes like a hopeless loser, and actually say it to his face." Those had been his exact words, and they'd been effective. 

Which is why Sunghoon was truly appalled by the audacity of his friends to lecture him on his love life. If it weren't for him, Jungwon would still be thinking his secret admirer was "JZ" to this day. 

“Well Jungwon’s a cutie, I can’t resist him!” Jay protested while grabbing his boyfriends cheeks in his hands and squishing them together. Jungwon emitted a squeak through his forcibly puckered mouth. 

“You two are disgusting,” Sunghoon commented dispassionately. “And what makes you think I’ll be able to resist?” 

Jay immediately released Jungwon from his clutches and gaped at him. Sunghoon realized what he’d said. Damn it. 

“Yah, Park Sunghoon! Is the new kid making you go soft on us?” Jay said with a shit eating grin. 

“Don’t even talk,” he deflected. “You two are so mushy, you’re tainting the hallway.” 

“Well in any case,” Jay said. “We’re announcing a new project today, and I think it’ll be the perfect in for you,” he winked. Sunghoon did not like that sly smile on his face. 

“This damn club has homework too?” 

“What’s wrong? Thought you loved homework?” Jay teased. 

“I don’t love homework, I just turn it in, unlike you. There’s a distinction.” 

“And I refuse to do anything I don’t love doing,” Jay said proudly. “So I guess we each have our own set of principles.” 

“Sounds like a preachy way to say you’re just lazy,” Sunghoon muttered. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” 

“Hyung, are you going to tell him what the project is?” Jungwon whined. 

“Patience garden, he’ll find out soon enough.” 

They rounded the corner to where the music classroom was located and ran into Niki, who was lingering outside the door. 

“Hi hyungs,” he chirped, looking at Jay and Jungwon. His eyes slid over to Sunghoon and widened. “Sunghoon hyung? You’re finally joining?” 

“He’s whipped,” Jay explained. 

“Not whipped,” Sunghoon said.

“Definitely whipped.” 

“For who?” Niki asked curiously. 

“I’m not whipped. ” 

“The new transfer student, Kim Sunoo,” Jungwon chimed in. 

“Ohhh,” understanding dawned on Niki’s face. “I see. He’s very cute. Why are you glaring at me?” 

Sunghoon quickly looked away, trying to school his features as Jay and Jungwon burst into synchronous laughter. 

“Have you ever seen anyone more whipped?” Jay wheezed. Jungwon giggled and flung his arms around Jay’s neck. 

“Carry me innn,” he pleaded. Jay obediently bent down to scoop the boy onto his back before kicking the door to the classroom open with his foot and strolling inside. 

“Is he self aware, do you think?” Sunghoon asked Niki, watching them go. 

Niki snorted. “Are you?” 

Sunghoon entered the room after his friends without another word. 

---

Sunghoon didn’t know what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t to walk in on a screaming match. 

“PARK JONGSEONG.” 

“WHAT.”  

“Put that boy down!” A flash of blonde hair swept by Sunghoon’s vision as Jay ran by, Jungwon still clinging onto him like a koala. 

“What do you have against a little fun, mother?” Jay yelled back. 

“You can have fun in a way that won’t damage expensive equipment,” Mrs. Park barked. 

“I won’t damage him!” 

“I think she means the instruments, Jay,” Sunghoon interjected. Mrs. Park spun around, finally taking notice of him in the doorway. 

“Oh, Sunghoon-ah,” she exclaimed. “You’re here. And you’re absolutely right,” she added, shooting a glare in her son’s direction. “This is why you’re my favorite child.” 

Jay dropped Jungwon in indignation. “Excuse me?!” 

Jungwon stumbled over to hide behind Sunghoon, extricating himself from the Park vs Park crossfire. But Jay’s mother immediately calmed down, her temper fading away until she appeared cool and collected, as if she hadn’t been screaming across the room just moments before. She smiled placidly. 

“Now that the crisis has been averted,” she said in a subdued tone, “you’re my favorite son again.” 

“I better be,” Jay huffed. “It took Sunghoon three years to show his face here. He's afraid of you, you know.” 

Mrs. Park raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?” She turned to him. 

“Oh my god, Jay.”

"Am I wrong?" Jay asked innocently, a pure evil gleam in his eye. 

Sunghoon was thankfully spared from whatever was going to come next when the door burst open and a stream of people flooded into the room. Huh. He hadn’t realized the club was this popular. Despite the number of students there, the only other people he recognized were Niki, Jake and Heeseung from his P.E. class, and… 

The last person to enter was Sunoo. He shuffled in shyly, the manner in which he seemed to enter every room, like he was afraid to be seen. Everyone took a seat somewhere on the floor, and Sunghoon noticed that Sunoo sat in the far back, as distanced from everyone else as possible. 

Once they were settled in, Mrs. Park clapped her hands loudly, commanding everyone’s attention. “Listen up musicians and troublemakers,” she said with a particular glance towards Jay and Jungwon. “We’re going to be starting a new assignment, and I’m excited to announce that it will be a collaborative project.” 

Sunghoon spied Jay’s grin from the corner of his eye. That, combined with what Mrs. Park had just said gave him a sneaking suspicion of just what exactly Jay thought his “way in” was going to be. 

“Can I announce it, mom?” Jay interrupted, practically vibrating with eagerness. He clapped his hands together excitedly. “The project is going to be,” he began without waiting for an answer, “drumroll, please!” 

To Sunghoon’s horror, everyone started stomping their feet on the carpeted floor, creating a muffled, off-kilter beat that only served to set the rhythm to his mounting anxiety. 

Jay slung an arm around Jungwon’s shoulders and pulled him in close. “You’re going to partner up with one other person,” he said giddily. Of course we are. “And…” He trailed off dramatically, building up the suspense. 

“Just tell us Jay,” Sunghoon snapped. 

Jay rolled his eyes. “Fine. You’re going to perform a love song.” 

What.

Without his command, Sunghoon's eyes sought out the dark corner where Sunoo was seated, almost concealed from sight.

“With your partner.”   

What. 

Their eyes connected, and he felt his heart weaken.  

“As a duet,” Jay finished, looking mighty pleased with himself. 

To his shock, Sunoo didn't look away from him this time. As he met Sunghoon's gaze head on, his lips tilted upwards into an almost imperceptible smile. It was faint, so much so that it almost could have been mistaken as a trick of the shadows, but it was definitely there. And it was the brightest thing he had ever seen. 

Park Sunghoon had officially joined the club of lovesick idiots. 

Chapter Text

“No, you cannot join our group,” Jay repeated for the millionth time. “You always complain about being the third wheel, and the one time we don’t get pleasure out of making you one, you’re suddenly chasing after us.” He shook his head, clicking his tongue. “Plus this is a duet activity. I’m sure you know how to count, Hoonie dear.” 

“I would know how to count, but someone told me to put down the books and loosen up,” Sunghoon retorted. Jay ignored him. 

“I hate to say it, but we're performing a love song, and while Jungwon and I deeply care for you, you do not have a place in this particular love story," he chuckled. "Go find your own.” 

“Can’t you see I’m trying?” Sunghoon said exasperatedly. Jay quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh?” He said with a creeping smile. “Finally coming around, are we?”

“No,” Sunghoon replied quickly.

Why did everyone keep trying to get him to admit his crush on Sunoo? He barely knew the boy. Although he desperately wanted to, but luck was not on his side.

Jay looked at him pityingly. “I can’t believe you let your man get finessed by a sophomore kid. Right under your nose.” 

“At least Niki can play the piano,” Sunghoon grumbled. “What do I bring to the table?”

Jay hummed, pretending to think. “You have a decent face,” he decided. 

Sunghoon scoffed. “I have a more than decent face. I meant talent wise.” 

“You’re extremely talented, Sunghoon," Jay said genuinely. "It’s only when it comes to wooing a certain Kim Sunoo that your skills seem to be a bit lacking.” 

Sunghoon shoved a roll of kimbap in his friend's face to shut him up and Jay automatically opened his mouth to accept the food. 

“Where’s your boyfriend at, by the way?” He asked, changing the subject. 

“He’s coming with Niki in a bit,” Jay mumbled mid chew. Sunghoon wrinkled his nose. "Oh wait, they're here." Right on cue, the two boys appeared and put their trays down next to Jay and Sunghoon. 

“Hello, my love. Hello, backstabber,” Jay greeted them. 

“I must have missed this development in our relationship,” Niki replied. 

Jungwon snorted. “I’m pretty sure you’re the backstabber.” 

“Who did I stab?” Niki asked innocently. 

“Sunghoon. In the heart. Repeatedly,” Jay said. 

“Is this about yesterday? I thought Sunoo and I would work well together, and I thought you weren’t whipped for him, hyung,” he said to Sunghoon sweetly. He had a deceptively angelic face, but Sunghoon now knew the truth. 

“Are you two going to do an instrumental cover or something?” Jay asked curiously. 

Niki looked confused. “Instrumental cover?” 

“Yeahhh,” Jay said slowly. “Does he play piano too? Ooh, a piano duet would be cool.” 

“No, hyung,” Niki said, still looking puzzled. “He sings.” Jay dropped his fork. 

“He sings ?! How do you know?” 

Sunghoon and Jungwon looked at Niki in equal measures of shock.

The boy looked back and forth between his three friends, wondering why they were acting like he'd just dropped groundbreaking news. “Uh, he told me?” 

It was Sunghoon's turn to drop his food in surprise. 

“Looks like Hoonie really did get rejected after all,” Jungwon said in wonder. He reached over to pat him on the hand sympathetically. Sunghoon scoffed and pulled away. 

“Well tell us Niki, we’re dying to know,” Jay said eagerly. “Is his speaking voice as cute as his face?”

Niki shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. His handwriting is cute though.”

“Handwriting?” Sunghoon asked, frowning. Maybe he wasn't hopeless after all.

“Yeah he carries around a notebook to write down what he wants to say. That's how he talks to people. Haven’t you seen it?”

“He didn’t quite get that far,” Jay snickered. “So you just asked him to partner with you without knowing what he sounds like? If he can’t speak, how can he sing? What if he’s horrible?” 

Jungwon nudged him. “Don’t be so close-minded, hyung,” he scolded. “You don’t need words to sing.” Jay looked properly chastised. 

“It didn’t matter to me,” Niki said mildly. “I told you, he’s cute.” Sunghoon bristled.

“Uh oh,” Jay said. “Careful, you’re gonna send Hoon into sulking mode again.” 

Niki held up his hands defensively. “If he wanted to work with Sunoo, he should’ve asked him first.”

“You were too damn fast!” Sunghoon blurted in protest. Jay suddenly perked up.

“Niki! I’ll do your homework for a week if you give your partner to Hoonie.” 

Niki looked aghast. “You want me to let Sunghoon steal Sunoo?” He asked indignantly. He paused. “Two weeks.” 

Jay turned to Sunghoon sorrowfully. “I tried Hoon, I really did. The price is too high.” 

Sunghoon sighed. “You’re all idiots,” he said, pointing at each of them individually. “All of you.”

“What did I do?” Niki exclaimed. Sunghoon gathered his tray up and rose from the table. 

“Backstabber,” he said over his shoulder. He walked away with the sound of Jay and Jungwon's giggles echoing in his ears.

Sunhoon headed for the music room. He would find Mrs. Park and tell her that this was all a mistake, and that he didn’t have the time for extracurricular activities. He shivered at the thought of confronting her, but it had to be done. 

When he got there, however, the room was completely dark. He really should have asked Jay before assuming that she took her lunch break here. He jiggled the door knob, and to his surprise it was unlocked. Upon cracking the door open, he thought he heard a noise coming from inside. He stepped in curiously. 

The room was soundproof, but as soon as he entered, the sound of a sweet voice filled the space around him. Someone was singing. 

The voice rose and fell in waves, somehow encapsulating every emotion there was even without the use of words. The melody started off sorrowful, a haunting tune that lulled his senses into a deep valley. Then the key suddenly changed and it crescendoed into a hopeful anthem that made him feel like he was standing on top of the highest mountain. 

Sunghoon was frozen, completely starstruck. If he pictured an angel singing, this voice, that was thick and smooth and sweet like honey, was exactly what would come to mind. 

Unable to help his curiosity any longer, he reached over and flipped the light on. The room flooded into full color, and the voice broke off into a high pitched squeak. 

The person who’d been standing with their back turned spun around in horror, mouth wide open. 

The two boys stood still for what seemed like eternity, silently staring at each other.

Well shit. 

Sunghoon cleared his throat. 

“Hi, Sunoo,” he said weakly. 

As if Sunghoon didn't already have enough things to deal with, Kim Sunoo of course had to have the voice of an angel. 

Chapter Text

Sunoo stared at the boy who had just entered. Park Sunghoon. Sunoo knew who he was, because he sat right behind him in their morning class. There was also the incident of their first interaction, the memory of which made Sunoo want to curl up into a ball of embarrassment and disappear. 

Sunoo had always been a sociable person. He never used to have a problem introducing himself to others, and in fact, would usually be the one to approach someone first. Of course, that was no longer the case. 

When Sunghoon turned around to talk to him, Sunoo froze up. Something about the way Sunghoon looked at him made him incredibly nervous. There was an open curiosity and admiration on his face, and Sunoo wanted to be looked at like that forever. So when Sunghoon asked him a question, he wasn’t about to ruin it by whipping out a notebook and start scribbling away like a weirdo. 

And now, Sunghoon probably just thought he was an asshole who had snubbed him, which was even worse. Sunoo had already resigned himself to never getting the chance to communicate with the boy ever again. Until he had showed up in that music club the next day. 

When Mrs. Park had announced the duet project, Sunoo’s heart sank. Who would want to partner up with someone who was mute? He stayed put, not bothering to rise up and mingle. For a moment, he thought he saw Sunghoon walking in his direction from the corner of his eye, but before he could turn to look, someone popped up in front of him with an offer. 

Now he was finally face to face with Sunghoon again. Sunghoon, who had just heard him singing. His cheeks flooded with warmth. 

“Hi, Sunoo,” Sunghoon said casually. As if they were friends. 

Sunoo gulped, not knowing what to do. He raised his hand slightly in a weak wave. He had left his notebook in his desk, he realized in panic. When he had skipped lunch to come here and practice he hadn’t exactly been expecting to run into anyone. 

“Your voice is amazing.” Sunghoon sounded genuinely awestruck. Sunoo opened his mouth. Thank you. But nothing came out. He felt the frustration bubble up inside him, threatening to spill out of his eyes. He looked at the ground and toed at his backpack, wondering if there was any scratch paper he could use. 

“There’s a whiteboard.” Sunoo’s head shot up. Sunghoon was looking at him with a hesitant smile, like he wasn’t sure if he was making the right suggestion. He pointed to the front of the room, where a large whiteboard hung on the wall. Sunoo all but ran to it. He didn’t care how weird he looked anymore, he just didn’t want to carry on and have Sunghoon continue to think he was rude. Sunghoon followed him and circled around the teacher’s desk, opening the top drawer. He handed Sunoo a dry erase marker. He accepted it gratefully, uncapping it and turning towards the board. 

He hesitated. Where to start? 

Thank you, he wrote. I was just playing around. 

Sunghoon whistled. “Well, your ‘playing around’ is the best thing I’ve ever heard.” Sunoo ducked his head shyly. He was grateful that Sunghoon wasn't asking him any questions about his method of communication. He still avoided the boy's eyes for fear of seeing a trace of judgment, or worse, pity. 

“Sooo,” Sunghoon stuffed his hand in his pockets. “You’re paired up with Niki.” Sunoo nodded. He wondered if he was just imagining the vaguely annoyed tone of voice. Had Sunghoon wanted to pair up with the pianist instead? Who was the lucky person that Sunghoon had snagged as his partner? He seemed like the popular type, and Sunoo was sure he could have his pick of anyone he wanted. A part of Sunoo wished that Sunghoon could want him. 

“How are you going to sing a love song if…” Sunghoon trailed off, perhaps realizing how offensive the question might sound. Sunoo heard the unspoken words anyway. How are you going to sing a love song if you can’t sing lyrics? “Wait,” he said frantically. “I didn’t mean--” 

Sunoo just smiled and scrawled something on the board. 

Have you ever loved someone so much you can’t put it into words? It can be done. 

Sunghoon’s eyes widened and Sunoo realized with some embarrassment how sappy he sounded. Before the other boy could reply however, the bell rang, signaling the end of break. Sunoo quickly gathered up his bag, eager to leave before he could say or do anything cringey again. You'd think he would have a better filter since he had to take the time to write out his thoughts instead of blurting them out; however, once Sunoo had something to say, nothing could ever stop him from getting it out. 

He paused in the doorway and turned back to Sunghoon who was still looking at him with an indescribable expression on his face. Sunoo gave him a quick, flustered wave before rushing out. 

Once he was well on his way to his next class, he let out a loud breath that was forceful enough to stir his bangs. As far as second meetings went, Sunoo didn’t think he had screwed this one up too badly. 

He smiled.

Park Sunghoon thought he had an amazing voice. 

Chapter Text

“So what did you call an emergency meeting for? You haven’t done that since we were like, twelve,” Jungwon said curiously. 

They were lounging around Sunghoon’s room again after he had texted Jungwon and Jay to come over immediately. He only shared one class with his friends, the one in the morning, so he hadn’t seen either of them since he had walked out at lunch. 

“I skipped dinner for this,” Jay complained, sprawled out on his bed as usual. “You better take responsibility and feed me.” 

“I talked to him,” Sunghoon said dazedly. 

Jay sat up straight. “Him? I’d assume you mean Sunoo, but I don’t have that much faith in you. Who did you talk to?” 

“Sunoo,” he replied, amazed himself. Jungwon made an excited noise, while Jay just looked at him skeptically. 

“Just to clarify, we are talking about Kim Sunoo?” 

“No, Park Sunoo,” Sunghoon snapped. “Of course I mean Kim Sunoo!” 

Jay nudged Jungwon. “Sunghoon wishes his name was Park Sunoo,” he snickered, wiggling his eyebrows meaningfully. 

“That’s not what I meant,” Sunghoon spluttered as Jungwon burst into giggles. 

“How exactly did you talk to him again?” 

“I ran into him in your mom’s classroom during lunch. I heard him sing.” The memory was still fresh in his mind. Sunghoon almost wished he'd been able to record it, but as someone who prioritized privacy himself, he probably wouldn't have done it anyway. 

“How is he?” Jungwon asked eagerly. 

“Stunning,” Sunghoon said immediately. Jay smirked. “I mean good,” he hastily corrected. “He’s good.” 

“So you heard him sing? I thought you said you talked to him.”

“I did,” Sunghoon said. “He used the whiteboard.” 

“Sunghoon, who loves his peace and quiet, meets Sunoo, the boy who doesn’t talk. It’s a match made in heaven,” Jay said dreamily. 

Sunghoon frowned. “I don’t like him because he’s quiet,” he felt the need to say. “I like him because he’s…” Jungwon and Jay looked at him expectantly. “He’s sweet.” He decided to settle on that, not knowing how to begin sorting through the multitude of reasons that came to mind. 

“And you gathered that from some words written on a white board?” Jay asked, not unkindly. Jungwon pinched him. “Ow.” 

“It doesn’t matter how he communicates. He’s still who he is.” Jay and Jungwon had been his friends for years, but when they met, he'd still been painfully introverted. It had taken them months to break him out of his shell, but for some reason they persevered and stuck around. Sunghoon knew how it felt to have difficulty speaking. The fact that Sunoo couldn't speak at all didn't make him any less in his eyes. 

“Wow, you’re so gone for him. Is this character development I smell?” 

Sunghoon scoffed. “It’s called being a decent human being.” 

“Like I said,” Jay nodded thoughtfully. “Character development.”

“So what’s your grand romantic gesture going to be?” Jungwon asked excitedly. Jay patted his boyfriend on the head. 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, garden. Romance and our Hoonie do not mix. The only gesture Sunghoon knows is one involving the middle finger, and I don’t know if that will have quite the effect we’re hoping for.”

“Do I need to remind you about your failed venture into the romantic gesture department?” Sunghoon said with a dangerous smile. 

Jay shot to his feet. “I am going to raid your kitchen,” he announced. “I will not tolerate being bullied on an empty stomach.” 

Once Jay had left the room, Jungwon turned to him. “You can leave Sunoo-ssi love notes like Jay did for me,” he said slyly. Sunghoon raised his eyebrows. So despite Sunghoon's threatening to expose him, Jay had already spilled the beans about his stupid notes after all. 

“When did he end up telling you that it was him?” He asked. 

“He didn’t have to."

Sunghoon's brows shot up even further. “You knew?”

Jungwon looked at him like he was stupid. “Of course I knew. JZ? Obviously Z wasn’t a real last initial, but Jay is the only J person I know other than Jake, and he’s with Heeseung hyung. Plus Jay-Z is his favorite American rapper, so it wasn’t hard to put together. Also," he added, "this may come as a shock to you, but Jongseong is not the most subtle person.” 

Sunghoon had no argument for that. “If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”

Jungwon winked. “Playing hard to get is a classic, hyung. Always works.” 

---

“Go talk to him.” 

“I don’t want to!” 

“Lies. Go!” 

Sunghoon was unceremoniously pushed right into the line of sight of Niki and Sunoo, who had started warming up on the baby grand in the corner of the classroom. They were just doing simple exercises, but Sunoo's resonant voice made even a basic major scale sound enchanting. He cleared his throat. 

“Hi guys.” His voice cracked nervously and he saw Niki press his lips together. His cheeks pinked from the willpower it took him not to laugh, but Sunghoon appreciated the effort. He wanted to die. Sunoo, the sweetheart that he was, just smiled at him warmly. 

“Hi hyung,” Niki said. “What’s up?” He glanced at Sunoo, then smirked. “Did Jay hyung change his mind about my homework offer?” 

“Shut up,” Sunghoon hissed. Sunoo looked between them, confused. 

“Sunghoon is partnerless,” Niki explained. Sunoo’s eyes widened. Great. Now he looked like a loser.

“I wanted to work solo,” he lied, trying to save face. 

“Mhmm,” Niki said disbelievingly. “Is that why Jay hyung tried to bribe me to--” He broke off at the sight of murder in Sunghoon’s eyes. “Right, solo,” he laughed, changing track. “Just like how you’re single by choice?” 

Sunghoon shot a look towards Sunoo in panic. The boy tilted his head at him curiously. “Single by choice?" He laughed, and his voice came out embarrassingly high-pitched. "When did I say that? I don’t think I said that,” he rambled. “I mean for now, yes, but if the opportunity arose…” He stopped. Both boys were staring at him. “You know what? I’m gonna leave you two to practice." Sunghoon bobbed his head, feeling his dignity disintegrate with each word out of his mouth. "Yes, I’ll do that.” He whirled around and made his escape, leaving an extremely entertained Niki and a stunned Sunoo behind. 

He made his way back to his friends- nay, traitors- who had been watching him from a distance, just out of earshot. 

“How did it go?” Jungwon asked.

“Did you make a fool of yourself again?” Jay added, an almost hopeful expression on his face. 

“I hope you have a nice suit, Jungwon,” Sunghoon replied.

“What?” Jungwon said, baffled. 

“Due to personal reasons, I will be passing away.” He turned to Jay. “You’re not invited to the funeral.” 

With that, he spun around and walked out of the room. He made his way down the hallway, down the front steps of the school, and walked all the way home, up the stairs to his room, where he collapsed onto his bed face down and screamed into his pillow. 

For as long as he could remember, no one had ever managed to reduce him to a bumbling mess. Ever. With mounting horror, he realized that he would have to admit to himself the one thing he swore that he would never admit: that Jay had been right about something. 

Park Sunghoon was officially whipped. 

Chapter Text

“How was school?” His aunt greeted him as soon as he stepped through the doorway. Sunoo smiled genuinely and flashed her a thumbs up before heading to his room. 

He didn’t fail to notice the way she zeroed in on the silent gesture with a slight twitch of her mouth, like she wanted to frown. As supportive as she had been these last few months, she never ceased her relentless attempts to get him to speak. 

He knew he was letting her down every time he got out a pad of paper and pen in reply. In a way, he was letting himself down. There were so many things he wanted to say- but the thought of opening his mouth to form a sentence, to hear his own voice again, made his heart race and his throat close up. 

Singing was different. Music was art, and art was left to interpretation. When he sang, he could weave any emotion he wanted into the melody, yet not give it the words to solidify its meaning. Singing was fine. Singing couldn’t hurt anybody. 

Your voice is amazing...

… the best thing I’ve ever heard. 

Sunoo smiled to himself. Park Sunghoon was an anomaly to him. Sometimes the boy appeared chic and aloof, and Sunoo was in awe of the almost cold sort of charm that he exuded. But other times- mostly when Sunoo was talking to him up close- he seemed endearingly shy and awkward. 

Sunoo sat down at his desk and pulled a worn out notebook from his shelf. Not the one he used to talk- the other one, one that he hadn’t used in ages. He flipped through the pages, scanning the words he’d scrawled between the lines and all over the margins. He felt a twinge of something; maybe nostalgia, maybe regret. 

There was no use writing lyrics anymore, now that he wouldn’t be using them. He had stopped writing everything down like he used to, even as ideas and pieces of rhymes floated into his head, unbidden. 

He thought of the music club, and the love song project. 

Sunghoon’s friend, Jungwon, had introduced himself at the last meeting. He told him that he was paired up with his boyfriend, Jay, and that he was going to be writing an original song. 

They were very cute together, Sunoo thought. They seemed to tease Sunghoon a lot. He immediately decided they were good people. From what he had observed, despite Sunghoon acting fed up with their antics, his demeanor was more relaxed around them, and he seemed genuinely happy. Anyone who made Sunghoon laugh freely like that won points in Sunoo’s book. 

Hearing about Jungwon’s songwriting had reminded Sunoo of this notebook he had stashed away. He stared down at it. Even if he would never be able to perform it, there was no harm in experimenting, was there? 

A love song... Sunoo considered himself a romantic, but he’d never written those feelings into a song before. Mostly because he only wrote from his own experiences, and he was young enough that he had yet to feel inspired by someone in that way. 

Have you ever loved someone so much you can’t put it into words?

Sunoo let out a loud groan, remembering the sappy line he had replied to Sunghoon with during lunch that day. He had been curious as to how a seemingly mute boy would perform a love song. Sunoo was curious about this himself; he’d planned to just figure it out as he went along, never expecting to actually be approached by someone to work together. Niki was a nice kid, and he’d told Sunoo that whatever he wanted to do was fine with him. 

All the people he had met so far had been nice, something he’d been worried about before transferring. But although everyone was nice enough, there was something different about the way Sunghoon acted around him. He didn’t avert his eyes out of pity, or avoid conversation out of awkwardness. 

He looked at Sunoo like he cared about what he had to say, and didn’t mind having to wait for Sunoo to spell it out by hand, letter by letter, word by word. If it hadn’t been just the two of them there the day they’d ran into each other, he would have even said that Sunghoon looked at him like he was the only person in the room. 

Sunoo took a deep breath, and pulled the notebook closer to him. It can be done. 

He picked up his pen. 

Chapter Text

“Uh, Sunghoon? The cafeteria is this way.” Jay had stopped in his tracks, finally noticing that his companion was going in the opposite direction from him.

“You go on ahead, I’m heading to the music room,” Sunghoon replied. 

Jay crinkled his brow. “Music room? For what?” 

Sunghoon opened his mouth, then hesitated. To hopefully run into Sunoo again. “To practice my song,” he said. 

Jay’s face lit up. “Have you decided what you’re going to sing yet?” He asked excitedly. Truthfully, Sunghoon hadn’t even begun to explore his options yet. He grimaced.

“I’m working on it,” he said vaguely. 

“Oh speaking of,” Jay said, reaching into his backpack. “Here.” He pushed a box of tupperware into Sunghoon’s hands. He stared down at it in confusion. Through the transparent container, he could see rice, meat, and mixed vegetables, all doused in a generous helping of gochujang. 

“What is this?”

“An apology,” Jay answered. 

Sunghoon narrowed his eyes. “You owe me several apologies a day, but what specifically is this one for?”

“For pushing you towards Sunoo and Niki yesterday and causing you to make a fool of yourself-- something that would have happened regardless, but I regret that I was the catalyst,” Jay explained, in a decidedly unapologetic tone. 

Sunghoon popped the lid open to find a plastic spoon tucked inside. He heaped a chunk of beef and rice onto it and shoveled the food into his mouth. 

“How is it?” Jay asked expectantly. “I labored away in the kitchen for hours.”

“It’s awful.”

Jay’s eyes widened in outrage. “Hey! My mom made that,” he exclaimed. 

“I know,” Sunghoon said with a smirk, taking a second bite. “Cook your own apologies next time, loser. And it’s delicious by the way.” He took another bite, and then another, unable to help himself. 

“This is also a preemptive apology for something else,” Jay continued, not caring that he’d been caught in a lie. 

“What did you do?” Sunghoon asked in a low voice. 

Jay gulped. “Well it’s not really my fault at all, so I’m not sorry towards you, more sorry for you,” he said nervously.

“Spit it out.” 

Jay sighed. “So you know the talent show that’s coming up?”

“Jay,” Sunghoon said slowly. “ Please tell me you didn’t do some stupid thing like sign me up to perform in front of the entire school. ” 

His friend laughed awkwardly. “Well no, I didn’t. You sort of signed yourself up?” he said, cringing. 

“What.” 

More nervous laughter. “Remember that little love song project we’re doing in club? Well you didn’t think we were just gonna perform it to the walls, did you? So yeah, we’ll all be performing with our partners. At the talent show, that is.” Jay smiled forcefully. 

“I don’t have a partner,” Sunghoon cried out. 

Jay made a regretful face at him. “Yes, well. I heard from Niki that you prefer to work solo.” 

“Not in front of the whole school!” Sunghoon yelled.

“Hence the bibimbap,” Jay said, backing away slowly. “Eat up!” 

Sunghoon stared after his receding back as the boy turned tail and ran. He looked down at the peace offering in his hands and his stomach clenched painfully. He suddenly had no appetite. 

Sunghoon was not an unpopular person in their school. There was no shortage of people who approached him wanting to be friends, or girls and boys alike who stuffed love letters into his hands before dashing away. He never entertained the attention of those people, mostly because he hated any kind of attention at all.

Perform. In front of the whole school. Alone.

He groaned in anguish. Just what had he gotten himself into? 

---

“Sunoo,” Sunghoon exclaimed, closing the door behind him. “What are you doing here?” He feigned surprise, even though this had been the exact outcome he had come here hoping for. 

The boy raised an eyebrow at him pointedly, as if to ask him the same thing. Sunoo was sitting on the floor with his lunch and notebook spread around him, one hand holding a fork, the other tapping his pen against a page absentmindedly. 

“You eat here?” he asked in surprise, spotting the food. Sunoo nodded shyly. “Mind if I sit?” When he received a shake of the head, Sunghoon made his way over and sat down next to him. Sunoo’s eyes landed on the food Jay had given him, and his face lit up. “You like bibimbap?” Sunghoon asked. The boy nodded vigorously, and he couldn’t help but smile. Cute. 

“You can have it,” He pushed the container towards him. Sunoo looked hesitant. “Jay’s mom made it, it’s good,” he encouraged. With a smile and a pat on his knee, which Sunghoon assumed meant thank you , Sunoo began to dig in. 

He suddenly felt flustered, his knee tingling where Sunoo had touched him. He wasn’t one for casual contact; while he was used to Jay’s tackling bear hugs and Jungwon’s clingy cuddles, when it came to everyone else, he tried to avoid touch altogether. Which is why he was caught off guard when he found himself hoping that Sunoo would touch him again. 

Sunghoon let out a loud sigh, and Sunoo looked up at him curiously. He tilted his head and tapped his temple with his finger, a questioning look on his face. What’s on your mind? 

Sunghoon didn’t know if it was because Sunoo was just an extremely expressive person, or if it was because he was already that much attuned to the boy, but he was able to decipher his various silent gestures even without the help of the notebook. 

 “I’m trying to figure out what to do for the club,” He told him truthfully. “You know we’re performing at the talent show?” Sunoo nodded. He didn’t look phased. Sunghoon wondered if he was the only one who was an anxious wreck over the news. “Aren’t you nervous?” 

Sunoo held up his thumb and index finger, pinched close together. Little bit. 

Sunghoon let out a huff of laughter. “I’m that, times ten. What are you going to sing?” 

Sunoo pointed to himself, then mimed writing something down. 

“You’re writing a song?” Sunghoon asked, baffled. At first he thought he’d interpreted wrongly, but his guess was confirmed with another nod. Sunoo never ceased to surprise him. He wondered briefly how he would be able to sing a written song, but he figured the lyrics were for Niki. Not only could the sophomore play piano, he could also sing. And do it all in front of a crowd without a hint of stage fright. He was probably the better choice as Sunoo's partner after all. Sunghoon envied him. 

“Anyone in particular you have in mind while writing?” he asked, trying to sound casual. 

Sunoo smiled and shrugged. He tried not to let his disappointment show on his face. Of course Sunoo didn’t like anyone that way yet, let alone Sunghoon. He had only been here for a few days. It was different for Sunghoon, though. In all his eighteen years of being alive, he had never had a crush before, and it was all hitting him at once. He was starting to understand why Jay had been so insufferable during his pining-for-Jungwon stage. Yesterday's fumble in front of Niki and Sunoo had taught him very well that liking someone made your head stupid. 

Sunghoon glanced down at Sunoo’s notebook, wondering why he’d foregone using it until now. Not that he minded. Call him sappy, but he liked conversing with the boy while looking at his face, rather than a piece of paper. 

Sunoo noticed where he was looking and hastily flipped the page over, but not before Sunghoon caught sight of the scribbled lines of writing. He had seen the notebook Sunoo used to talk with, and he knew that the boy would write haphazardly anywhere on the page until all the space was filled. The writing he had caught a glimpse of was organized into neat lines. Like stanzas. 

“Are those your lyrics?” He asked. 

Yes. Sunoo was blushing.

He picked up his pen. On the new blank page, he wrote, Don’t be nervous. I’ll cheer you on.  He flashed a thumbs up and Sunghoon laughed, choosing to ignore the quick subject change.

The thought of Sunoo in the audience, clapping his hands as he mounted the stage made his heart flutter. The only thing that would make that image better, was if everyone else in the crowd apart from Sunoo disappeared. 

“Are you ever just… afraid of being seen?” Sunghoon asked him. He should have felt vulnerable voicing his fears out loud like this, but he found that in Sunoo's presence, it was impossible to feel anything but comforted. 

I’m afraid of being heard. 

Sunghoon blinked at the boy in surprise. Was Sunoo self conscious about his singing? Even if he couldn’t speak, he had to know how amazing his voice was. Sunghoon hadn’t heard him properly sing since that last time he’d found Sunoo here in the music room, but he couldn’t get that voice out of his head. 

“I heard you," he said. "Does that scare you?” He watched Sunoo’s face carefully, waiting for his reply. Sunoo wrote something down on his notebook again, and it took a few moments for Sunghoon to redirect his eyes down to the page. But he didn't need to. In the dimpling of his cheeks, in the delicate curve of his mouth and the slight scrunch of Sunoo's nose, he had already read the answer.

I'm not afraid with you. 

Chapter Text

Sunghoon’s eyes drooped as he struggled to stay awake. For the last week, he had stayed up all night practicing the song he had finally chosen. The talent show was still just under a month away, but he wasn’t going to slack off and make a fool of himself in front of hundreds of people. 

Just as he felt himself nodding off for the tenth time, someone tapped his shoulder. He snapped his head up, thinking the teacher had caught him dozing. The apology died on his tongue when he saw that it was just the quiet girl who sat next to him. 

“Sunghoon oppa,” she said shyly. She held something out to him. “Will you take this?” Sunghoon looked at the heart shaped box in confusion. 

“What for?” He asked bluntly. Jay turned around to insert himself into the exchange. 

“It’s Valentine’s day,” Jay informed him. “Did you forget?” He looked at Sunghoon judgmentally, which he thought was completely unwarranted. 

“What would I need to remember for?” He mumbled.

He addressed the girl awkwardly.  “I’m sorry, but…” 

She shook her head, smiling slightly. “You don’t have to say anything. Just take it, please.” She pushed the chocolate into his hands, before burying her nose back in her workbook. 

Sunghoon looked at Jay helplessly, who just rolled his eyes at him and turned back around. He’d turned down countless confessions over the years, but it never made him feel any less guilty. Especially when they gave him things like this. He didn’t feel comfortable eating the chocolate. 

He felt another tap on his shoulder, this time from behind him. He turned to see Sunoo grinning at him. He opened his mouth and tapped his bottom lip expectantly. Give me.  

Sunghoon opened the box to find rows of truffles neatly wrapped in bright pink foil. He carefully unwrapped one, and held it up for Sunoo, who was still waiting with his lips parted. Without even thinking about it, he popped it directly in the other boy’s mouth. 

Sunoo’s eyes widened in surprise. Then the chocolate kicked in, and he closed his eyes in delight, savoring the sweet. Sunghoon shoved the whole box onto Sunoo’s desk and quickly faced forward. 

He caught Jungwon staring at him, looking delighted. Jay glanced over at his boyfriend in question, having missed what just went down, and Jungwon leaned over to whisper in his ear. Jay looked back at him with a smirk. He sunk low into his chair.

His good for nothing friends had always been a two-person gossip mill, and Sunghoon had become the hot topic of the season. 

༺♥༻

“What did you get him for Valentine’s day?” Jay pressed him at break. Sunghoon seethed. He had been going to the music room during lunch all week, until his friends finally complained that he’d been neglecting them. He would have asked Sunoo to join him with Jungwon and Jay, but Sunghoon liked him too much to subject him to his demons. 

“Did you miss the part where I completely forgot that such a day even existed?” Sunghoon grumbled. “This is a capitalist holiday, anyway.” 

“You’re right,” Jungwon said. “But this is the perfect opportunity for your grand gesture, hyung!” 

“I gave him chocolate?” Sunghoon offered hesitantly. His friends looked unimpressed. 

“Secondhand chocolate,” Jay specified. “Nothing says romance like handing him evidence of another girl’s affections for you,” he snorted. 

“He liked it,” Sunghoon protested, but he knew that Jay was right. He had never made a grand gesture for anyone; he didn’t even buy things for himself. He had no idea where to begin. 

When he got home, he immediately hopped on his computer and googled ‘Valentine’s day gift ideas.’ All the results that popped up mostly consisted of chocolate, or teddy bears, or equally gag-inducing things. Plus, he had already given Sunoo chocolate. 

Suddenly an idea struck him. A crazy idea, but Sunghoon was crazy these days. As far as grand gestures went, this one may be a bit too grand, but he thought it was worth it. 

He made a quick search to check the price and cursed. He checked his savings account, then called Jay. 

“Sorry, I already have a date for tonight,” Jay said in greeting. 

“I need a loan.” 

“....What?” 

Sunghoon sighed impatiently. “Look, I’ll pay you back, but I’m twenty-something bucks short.”

He told Jay his idea, and was met with silence. “Hello?”

“Are you crazy, Park Sunghoon?”

“You told me to get him something!”

“Yeah, like flowers or a teddy bear, not this. You know I’m the biggest Sunsun enthusiast, but you’ve known the kid for what, two weeks? And you’re already ready to spend your life's savings on him?” 

Sunghoon was not used to Jay being the one to try and talk him out of a stupid idea. He didn't like this reversal of roles. “It’s not my life's savings, just some spending money. And you splurge on shit for Jungwon all the time,” he said defensively. 

“I have the means.” 

“Are you calling me poor?”  

Jay sighed. “I’ll give you the money, you don’t need to pay me back. But even if you do this for him, there’s no guarantee that he’ll like you back. I don’t want you to invest so much and get hurt.” 

“I’m not trying to make him like me back," Sunghoon said honestly. "I’m just trying to make him smile.” 

Two stops later, one at Jay’s house, and one at the mall, Sunghoon had his grand gesture wrapped and ready to go. 

༺♥༻

He didn’t give it to Sunoo during class, not wanting Jay and Jungwon to bear witness to his potential humiliation. Instead, he waited until lunch, then headed over to the music room. 

“Sunooo,” he sang, flinging the door open. Sunoo was lying on his stomach, notebook open in front of him. He looked up. His mouth was puckered into a large pout, and he had his pen wedged in the crook between his upper lip and nose. Sunghoon laughed and sat down in front of him. 

“So,” he began nervously. Sunoo frowned at the waver in his voice, and pulled himself into a sitting position, looking at him attentively. “I know I’m a day late, but…” he rubbed his neck. “This is for you,” he mumbled, pushing the bag he was holding over to him. 

Sunoo looked down at it, confused. He pointed to Sunghoon and then himself, and wagged his finger back and forth. You didn't have to get me anything. 

"Just open it," Sunghoon laughed.

Sunoo shook his head in wonder and slowly removed the tissue paper that he had stuffed inside to conceal the gift from sight. He could tell when it was finally unveiled, because Sunoo froze. Sunghoon froze too. 

“I know you’re used to using your notebook, but I- I thought this might be convenient,” he stuttered. “There’s a stylus so you can easily write and erase, and you won’t waste paper.” 

Sunoo stared unblinkingly as he pulled an iPad pro out of the bag.

The next thing he knew, Sunghoon had an armful of Sunoo as the boy tackled him into a hug. Just as quickly, he pulled back, before Sunghoon even had the chance to wrap his arms around him. He shook his head with wide eyes. Too much. 

Sunghoon had predicted that he might have some qualms about accepting such a thing. “It’s really a gift for me, actually,” he told Sunoo. “I thought it might make it easier for you to talk, and I… I like talking to you," he admitted. 

He heard a quiet gasp, and then those familiar dimples appeared again. He didn’t know if he had managed to win Sunoo’s heart; but there it was, the sign that Sunghoon had accomplished what he had set out to do. 

He had won Sunoo’s smile. 

Chapter Text

For the rest of the week, Sunghoon felt a deep sense of satisfaction every time he spotted Sunoo carrying around the iPad. Despite Jay’s nagging, he couldn’t think of a better use of his money. It was the best purchase he had ever made. Well, the only purchase actually. 

His parents gave him a small allowance every week- nothing too crazy, just a few dollars to spend here and there. But since he had never been interested in spending money, it had added up to a sizable sum. Just enough to buy an iPad. Give or take twenty dollars. 

“Did you know that I’m apparently a bank now?” Jay said to Jungwon sarcastically. 

The three of them had met up for breakfast before school and had gotten to class together early, so they were among the only ones in the room. Sunghoon kept glancing at the door, waiting for a certain someone to walk in. 

“What?” Jungwon said. 

“I loaned Hoonie some money the other day. If he doesn’t get the boy, my investment will be for naught,” Jay said dramatically. 

“What investment?” 

“Don’t,” Sunghoon warned. He had told Jay not to tell anyone about his gift to Sunoo, not wanting to make a big deal of it. Of course, when asked directly, Jay could never refuse Jungwon anything. 

“Have you noticed Sunoo-ssi’s little upgrade from his notebook?” Jay said slyly. 

Jungwon turned to gape at Sunghoon. “You got him that?” He exclaimed. 

Jay looked affronted. “Um, I think you mean we got him that.” 

Sunghoon scowled. “I said I’ll pay you back.”

“Don’t,” said Jay, a wide smile spreading across his face. “One day, when you’re walking down the aisle, and you’re reciting your vows while staring into those big brown eyes, I want you to remember that it was all thanks to me.” 

“Bold of you to assume you’ll be invited to the wedding,” he replied. 

“Bold of you to assume there’ll be a wedding,” Jungwon snickered. 

As Sunghoon whipped around to look at him in betrayal, a screen dropped down in front of his face. 

What wedding? 

Sunghoon looked up at Sunoo, who had materialized beside his desk. “Hi Sunoo,” he stuttered, heart suddenly hammering in his chest. “No wedding,” he answered quickly. “There’s no wedding.” 

“Sunghoon’s wedding,” Jay supplied helpfully. 

“He’s in love,” Jungwon added with a dreamy sigh. 

Sunghoon really would have considered throwing his friends away, but unfortunately, he was a bit attached to them. Sunoo looked at him curiously. 

With who? 

“No one,” he said firmly. 

He got a raised eyebrow that meant, Really, hyung? 

“They’re just messing around. I do not like anyone,” he insisted. Sunghoon hoped that he was a good liar. It was hard to know, because he didn’t remember the last time he had lied about anything. 

Sunoo just shook his head with a laugh and slid into his chair. Sunghoon found himself searching his face for something, not quite sure what he was looking for. Then it hit him. 

Disappointment. He was searching for any hint of disappointment in Sunoo’s face. There was none. 

Did that mean that Sunoo didn’t care whether he liked someone or not? Sunghoon had definitely wilted a bit when Sunoo had implied that he wasn’t writing his love song for anyone in particular. Was he just overthinking things? 

He was definitely overthinking, he decided. 

That overthinking put him in a mood for the rest of the day. 

---

“What is wrong with you?” Jay confronted him during lunch, after Sunghoon’s tenth forlorn sigh. “All the poor boy did was not break down into tears at the idea that you might not like anyone, and here you are acting like you got dumped.”

“I wish I had gotten dumped,” Sunghoon lamented. “That would mean that we were dating in the first place.”

Jungwon started giggling and said something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “simp,” while Jay continued staring at him in disbelief.

“Who are you, and what happened to the grumpy and cynical Park Sunghoon I know and grudgingly love?” 

“He met a boy,” Sunghoon said mournfully. “A beautiful boy."

“You called?” Niki set his tray down, taking a seat beside Jungwon. 

“Sorry Niki,” Jungwon laughed. “The beautiful boy he’s talking about is your beloved duet partner.”

Niki looked at Sunghoon, who stared back at him with anguished eyes. “Why does he look like someone just kicked a puppy in front of him?” 

“He’s the puppy,” Jay snorted. “And he didn’t even get kicked, he’s just being dramatic.” 

Sunghoon let out his eleventh forlorn sigh. “How’s your song going?” he asked Niki. “Is Sunoo a good writer?” 

Niki looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Isn’t he writing lyrics for you?” Sunghoon frowned. 

Niki shrugged. “I don’t know anything about that, so far we’ve just been playing around with some melodies,” he said. 

If Sunghoon was secretly glad that Sunoo had shared something with him rather than Niki, he tried not to show it. 

Jay coughed. “Lyrics or no lyrics, I hope you all have something somewhat presentable already." 

Sunghoon turned to him. 

“What are you talking about?” 

---

“Alright everyone, with less than three weeks to the talent show, you should all be making some decent progress with your songs,” Mrs. Park announced to the class. “To make sure that we’ll be ready in time, we’re going to start doing midway checks.” 

What? 

“For the rest of the week, we’re going to have each pair come up and perform in front of the class,” she continued. Sunghoon saw Sunoo visibly tense up next to him out of the corner of his eye. “Since our practice ran long today, we only have time for one pair before the next meeting. How about... “ Her eyes scanned the room. 

Please not me, please not me, Sunghoon chanted silently. 

“Niki and Sunoo?” 

Sunoo jolted like he had been electrocuted, and Sunghoon’s heart dropped. He had been so worried about having to sing in front of the whole class, that he’d forgotten that Sunoo was probably just as apprehensive, if not more. Whatever his reasons were, one look at Sunoo’s round eyes told him that the boy definitely did not want to go up there. 

I’m not afraid with you. 

Oh, the things this boy made him do. Sunghoon steeled himself. “Can I go instead?” He called out. 

Two Parks, mother and son, whipped around to look at him in shock. 

“Sunghoon?” Jay asked, baffled. He knew better than anyone how Sunghoon felt about being in front of people. 

“Of course you may,” Mrs. Park exclaimed, oblivious. “Our one and only solo act, everyone,” she announced, smiling at him. 

“Fighting!” He heard Jungwon yell from somewhere in the room. His head swam and he thought he saw Sunoo looking at him worriedly. With shaking legs, he made his way over to the front of the class. 

He belatedly realized that he hadn’t even figured out his accompaniment yet. His first time singing in front of others, and he would have to do it acapella. Great. 

He cleared his throat, and began. His head was so muddled with anxious thoughts that he could barely hear himself, but he knew that his voice was trembling. He didn't even made it through the first couple of lines before his voice cracked, and he broke off. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to look at anyone. Above the ringing in his ears, he heard a few scattered claps. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, mostly to himself, and fled the room. 

---

Sunghoon burst through the front doors of the building, breathing in gulps of fresh air. As he started walking down the steps two at a time, he felt a hand grab his wrist. Sunghoon kept walking, but slowed down to accommodate Sunoo’s pace as the boy fell into step beside him. 

Did you do that for me? 

Sunghoon laughed breathlessly. “Did you think I did it for myself?” 

Sunoo frowned, not liking that answer. 

Why?

They made their way off campus, and Sunghoon took the sidewalk, heading in the direction of his house. Sunoo kept following him. 

“I lied,” he blurted. He instantly wanted to bite his tongue, but he’d already faced one thing that scared the shit out of him today. What was one more? 

About what? 

Sunoo’s face was pinched in that cute way it always was when he was trying hard to figure something out. 

“I lied, this morning,” Sunghoon said. His heart was picking up speed, and he felt his pace quicken as well, as if his feet were subconsciously trying to outrun the other boy’s earnest gaze. “I actually do like--” 

“Sunoo?” An unfamiliar voice interrupted. 

Sunoo froze, just like he had back in the music room, except this time his face blanched as all the color leached out of his face. Sunghoon stopped to look at him worriedly, then at the source of the voice. 

A boy that Sunghoon had never seen before approached them, looking at them in amused curiosity. 

“Kim Sunoo? Is that really you?” 

Chapter Text

Sunoo’s reaction to the stranger immediately set Sunghoon on edge. 

“Do I know you?” He asked politely, stepping forward so that he was standing slightly in front of Sunoo. 

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the boy laughed, shaking his head. “Sunoo, I haven’t seen you since you transferred so suddenly. How’ve you been?” 

Sunoo, of course, did not respond. The boy cocked his head. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” He said teasingly. Sunghoon snapped his head up. 

“How could you say something like that?” He snapped. The boy blinked at him, taken aback. 

“What do you mean? I just asked him how he was!” He said defensively. Sunghoon felt Sunoo tug at his sleeve, but he was too fired up. 

“Not that. ‘Cat got your tongue?’ If you know him, you already know he doesn’t talk. So why would you feel the need to say that?” Sunghoon was relentless, unwilling to back down when he had just witnessed Sunoo being so blatantly disrespected. Again, he felt Sunoo pulling at his arm, and saw him frantically shaking his head. 

The boy was frowning. Despite his taunting words, he didn’t look like he was trying to be mean, and for some reason, he looked genuinely puzzled. “What do you mean he can’t talk?” He chuckled hesitantly. “This kid was the biggest talker in our grade. We couldn’t shut him up. Right, Sunoo?” 

Sunoo’s lips stayed tightly sealed. 

“I think you should go,” Sunghoon said firmly. 

The boy now looked extremely awkward, and glanced at Sunoo uncomfortably.“Uh yeah, sure,” he said. “It was nice seeing you, I guess,” he mumbled, before turning and jogging away. 

Sunghoon stared after him in a daze, not knowing what to think. His trance was broken when Sunoo shyly moved the iPad in front of his face.

You probably have a lot to ask me. 

Sunghoon looked at him carefully. The boy looked visibly shaken, like he had seen a ghost, and his lip was trembling slightly. “Do you have a lot to tell me?” He asked.

Sunoo hesitated, then shook his head miserably. Sunghoon smiled at him. “What would I have to ask then?”

He saw Sunoo’s shoulders sag in relief, and the boy looked at him in wonder, as if amazed that Sunghoon wasn’t pressing him for answers. Of course, he was dying of curiosity, but the reason he restrained himself was simple: he liked Sunoo. 

Though he didn’t have much experience in that department, Sunghoon did know that liking someone shouldn’t be conditional. If you like them based on the parts you’ve already seen and know, what’s the need for prying into secrets? 

Soon after he and Sunoo parted ways, Sunghoon’s phone rang. He picked it up quickly after seeing the flood of notifications on his lock screen. 

“Sunghoon, finally! I’ve been texting you like crazy,” Jay exclaimed. 

“What do you want?” 

“Well firstly, I just wanted to check up and make sure you’re fine after, y’know... “ After you humiliated yourself in front of the whole club. Sunghoon grimaced. 

“But more importantly, I need your help with something, so get your butt to my house immediately.” 

---

Sunghoon stared down at the black velvet box in Jay’s hands. “You’re proposing?!” 

“What?" Jay said, caught off guard. "No," he laughed. "It’s a promise ring, and I’ve thought of the perfect idea for how to surprise Jungwon with it.” 

“Promise ring?” Sunghoon echoed, a thoughtful look on his face. 

“What are you-- No! No,” Jay said forcefully. “I may have enabled your iPad shenanigans but I will die before I let you give that boy a ring.”

“Why not?” He asked innocently.

Jay exhaled loudly through his nose. “Look, Hoonie. I know you’re new to relationships and all, but you need to start small. Maybe a confession first?” 

“Start small?" Sunghoon said contemplatively. "Like how you started small with anonymous love letters, and then took months to even ask Jungwon on a date? Like that?”

Jay spluttered. “There’s nothing more romantic than taking things slow! Just promise me, Hoon. No rings.”

Sunghoon may have been inexperienced, but even he had the self awareness to know that too much, too soon, could potentially scare someone off. “Okay,” he agreed. “No rings.”

“Thank you,” Jay let out a sigh of relief. “As far as stupid ideas go, that would have been catastrophically stupid,” he said. Sunghoon shrugged in reluctant agreement. 

 “Now,” Jay continued, flipping open the velvet box to reveal an elegant silver band. “Will you help me bake this into a cake?” 

---

“And that’s the story of how Jay nearly killed me and saved my life, all in the span of minutes,” Jungwon said, flashing his finger where the ring sat in all its gleaming glory. 

“I knew that learning the Heimlich maneuver would come in handy,’ Jay said with misplaced pride. 

“And you just let him do that, hyung?” Niki asked Sunghoon, baffled. 

“I don’t let Jay do anything. And if I hadn’t helped him, the cake would’ve tasted like shit in addition to containing a choking hazard, so you can thank me for that.” 

“Thank you, hyung.” Jungwon chirped. “It tasted heavenly.” 

"I think you saw heaven," Niki muttered.

“Hate all you want,” Sunghoon addressed Jay, “but at least my gift didn’t nearly kill my boyfriend.” 

“At least I have a boyfriend to kill,” Jay retorted. Jungwon looked alarmed. 

“Now that Jungwon’s story time is over,” Niki said as Jungwon’s hands drifted to his throat, reliving his brush with death, “Didn’t Sunghoon hyung have something to tell us?” 

“Oh yeah,” Sunghoon said. He paused, wondering how he should drop the bomb. He decided to be direct about it. “I think Sunoo can talk.” Three pairs of eyes turned comically wide.

“Huh?!” 

“I mean, he obviously doesn’t speak, but like, I don’t think he’s physically incapable of it?” His voice trailed up into a question, unsure. 

“Explain,” Jay demanded. 

“We ran into someone he knew from his old school. He seemed to remember Sunoo as a talkative person,” Sunghoon elaborated.

“I knew it,” Jay exclaimed. “He’s deceptively innocent looking, but he has a dark, hidden past. Nobody transfers schools for no reason!” He lowered his voice into a whisper. “We may be harboring a criminal.” 

“How’d you arrive at that conclusion?” Jungwon snorted. Sunghoon sent him silent thanks for calling out his idiot boyfriend. “All that we maybe know is that Sunoo used to talk, and now he doesn’t.” 

“I don’t think you should be trying to uncover other people’s criminal records when you’re literally guilty of attempted murder,” Niki added casually, plucking a chicken wing off of Jay’s plate. 

“Hey!” Jay cried out, watching helplessly as his food disappeared into a mouth that wasn't his. “Also, that would make Sunghoon an accomplice to attempted murder.” 

“All I did was measure out the flour,” Sunghoon said, holding his hands up defensively. 

“Isn’t that Sunoo over there right now?” Niki said suddenly. 

Sunghoon turned his head so quickly he felt something crack. Sunoo was in the cafeteria? His eyes searched around until they finally landed near the entrance to the dining area. It was indeed Sunoo standing there, recognizable even from a distance. And he was talking to a boy. 

Sunghoon recognized him as Yeonjun, another heartthrob in their grade. In terms of popularity, him and Yeonjun were probably about equal, but unlike Sunghoon, the boy actually wore it well. He knew how to handle the attention, and was even known to be a bit of a flirt. 

He watched as Sunoo held up his iPad to the older boy, who smiled and said something in return. Sunghoon could hear Sunoo’s tinkling, bell-like laugh even from where he was sitting. 

“He’s glowering,” someone whispered. 

“Well,” replied a voice that was definitely Jay, “I don’t think I’m the one you need to worry about committing murder.” 

Chapter Text

Sunghoon watched in horror as a smiling Sunoo followed Yeonjun over to his table, where two boys that he identified as Jake and Heeseung were sitting. He frowned. “I didn’t know those three were friends,” he commented. 

Jungwon glanced over to look. “Jake is friends with everyone,” he said offhandedly. 

“And now with Sunoo too,” Jay said. Sunoo had taken a seat with the three boys and it looked like they were exchanging introductions. Sunghoon had assumed that Sunoo didn’t want to eat in the cafeteria for some reason or another, choosing to hole himself up in the music room instead. Apparently all it took to draw him out was Yeonjun’s pretty face and cunning words, he thought bitterly. 

“Why would he cheat right in front of me?” he said with a sigh. 

“First of all,” Jay said. “I’m pretty sure having lunch together is a completely platonic act. Unless you finally want to confess your feelings for me.” He stared pointedly down at their adjacent trays of food and Sunghoon snorted in disgust.  

“And it’s not cheating if you’re not together,” Jungwon added. “If you wanted him to eat with us why haven’t you asked him before?”

“Jay told me to take it slow,” he said wistfully. 

Jay looked at him, appalled. “Hoon, I never said you couldn’t invite him to lunch, I just said maybe don’t ask for his hand in marriage just yet.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Jeez, is it all or nothing with you?”

“Yes,” Sunghoon replied immediately. He turned his attention back to the other table and watched as Heeseung patted Sunoo on the head. “He’s being awfully touchy for someone with a boyfriend,” he muttered. 

“You’re just upset you’re not brave enough to pet Sunoo’s hair," Niki teased. "I bet it’s soft."

Sunghoon twisted his fingers in his lap, feeling shy at the mere thought of it. “Should I? Do you think he’d like that?” he asked softly. 

Jay looked like he was either trying not to laugh, or trying not to coo at his pitifully enamored expression. “Yes Sunghoon,” he smiled indulgently, “I think he’d like that very much.”

Sunghoon stood abruptly. 

“Woah, where are you going?” Jay exclaimed. He turned to Jungwon in panic, as Sunghoon stalked away from their table. “Where is he going?!” 

“Don’t stop him,” Niki drawled, kicking his feet up onto Sunghoon’s vacated chair.  “Nothing exciting has happened today. I need this entertainment.”

“Get your entertainment elsewhere, demon," Jay snapped, "This is my best friend’s dignity on the line. And stop eating my damn food,” he said, slapping another chicken wing out of Niki’s hand, before leaping to his feet to chase Sunghoon down. 

—

Sunghoon had already learned that liking someone made him stupid. Today he learned, with the assistance of a lecture from Jay about “time and place,” that there was something else that made him even stupider. 

“A little green-eyed monster called jealousy,” Jay had called it. After the boy had successfully dragged him back to his seat before he could march up to Sunoo and stroke his hair unprovoked, he’d made an announcement. 

“We need a plan,” he said firmly. “After this debacle, I’m deadset on scoring Sunghoon his man, before he does something that will get me killed.”

“What could he do that would get you killed?” Jungwon asked confused.

“The embarrassment, Wonie!” Jay cried. “The embarrassment of being associated with such a love-sick fool will strike me dead on the spot.” 

“That’s my line,” Sunghoon mumbled halfheartedly. 

“So what’s the plan?” Niki asked, looking bored now that Sunghoon’s complete and utter public humiliation had been averted. 

Jungwon snapped his fingers. “Jay is friends with Heeseung hyung!” 

“So?” Sunghoon asked. He usually didn’t entertain his friends' stupid ideas, but unlike their usual antics, this might be something that would benefit him. 

“Ohhh,” Niki said, his eyes widening in understanding. 

“I’m confused,” Sunghoon said helplessly, feeling lost. 

“Me as well,” Jay raised his hand. 

“You’re a future CEO, this should be right up your alley,” Jungwon smirked. "What we need," he said, placing both hands down on the table, fingers spread wide. “Is a merger."  

—

The next day, the four of them had lunch together in their usual spot, this time joined by Sunoo, Heeseung, and Jake. 

“I can’t believe we’ve all never hung out before,” Jay commented. He pumped his fist into the air. “We are seven now!” 

As it turned out, Jungwon’s grand plan was just to get Heeseung and Jake to sit with them so Sunoo would tag along. He probably knew that if left to his own devices, Sunghoon would take ages to muster up the courage to just ask Sunoo directly. 

Sunoo had immediately taken the seat right beside him though, so he couldn’t say he was complaining. 

Jake smiled at them warmly. “Thank you for inviting us,” he said. 

“I thought you never would,” Heeseung told Jay. “How is it that we’ve never eaten together when we’ve been friends for years?” He said, acting hurt. The twinkle in his eyes gave him away. 

“I’ve never spoken to you people in my life,” Niki remarked around a mouthful of food. 

“Ah, that’s the maknae, Niki,” Jay informed the newcomers. “He’s a sophomore, so your paths probably haven’t crossed much outside of music club.”

“Don’t ask us how we became friends,” Sunghoon added. “I’m pretty sure we adopted him by accident at some point.” 

“Noted,” Heeseung said in amusement. 

“Our group is finally complete now,” Jungwon cheered. 

Sunoo scribbled something on his screen. What about Yeonjun-oppa?

Sunghoon's soul left his body. 

“Yeonjun-oppa?!” Jay screeched. Heeseung snorted, and Jake made a valiant effort to hide his smile in the palm of his hand. Normally, Sunghoon would have nagged him to use his inside voice, but the volume of his internal screaming outmatched Jay’s. 

He said I could call him that. Sunoo looked around at them innocently. Should I not?

“Only if you call me Jongseong-oppa,” Jay snickered. He quickly ducked to hide as Sunghoon turned his murderous stare on him. “If you can’t beat em, join em,” Jay laughed from behind the shield of Jungwon's shoulder.

“Yeonjun has his own group that he usually sits with,” Heeseung informed Sunoo. Sunghoon desperately wanted to change the subject.

“Are you and Jake ready for the talent show?” He asked. 

Jake perked up. “Ooh yeah, we’re doing a vocal and violin duo,” he explained excitedly. 

“How romantic,” Jay pretended to swoon. 

“You know what would be romantic?” Jungwon asked, a smug look on his face, “Using the performance as an opportunity to confess to someone.” He sent a not so subtle look in Sunghoon’s direction. Sunghoon coughed loudly. 

He heard Sunoo make a sad noise, and looked over to see that the boy had finished all his meat and now had an excess of rice. He picked up his chopsticks and absentmindedly transferred all of his own beef over to Sunoo’s plate. Sunoo lit up and patted him on the knee, before beginning to eat enthusiastically. 

“Does Sunghoon have someone he wants to confess to?” Jake asked curiously, noticing Jungwon’s look. Sunghoon’s face turned red. Why were his friends so intent on exposing him? 

He could deny it again, and relive the disappointment of Sunoo having no reaction whatsoever, but then he felt a sharp kick under the table. He looked up to see Jay mouthing the words, say it. 

He sighed, and threw caution to the wind. “Yes, I do,” he admitted. A chorus of jeers erupted around the table, and he wanted to bury himself. 

“Who is it?” Heeseung crowed. Jay and Jungwon exchanged knowing looks, while Niki was too busy trying to sneak some beef off of Jay's tray to care. 

“Enough questions,” Sunghoon grumbled. 

In the midst of the onslaught of teasing that got thrown his way, he didn’t notice that beside him, Sunoo had halted his eating and gone very still. 

—

Sunghoon found Sunoo after school, running up to him and tagging him on the shoulder. Just like Jay had advised, he was going to start small. He took a deep breath. But before he could say anything, Sunoo started writing. 

Sunghoon paused, waiting for him to finish. Just because Sunoo couldn’t form his sentences vocally, didn’t mean that he was going to interrupt him. 

Do you want to come over to my house?

Sunghoon laughed, and Sunoo looked at him in question. “I was going to ask you the same exact thing,” he explained. Sunoo grinned. 

In the end, they decided to go to Sunoo’s house; Sunghoon was dying to know more about him. He wondered if he woud be meeting Sunoo’s parents. As they stepped through the door however, they were greeted by a woman, a bit younger than the age Sunghoon would imagine Sunoo’s mother to be. 

“Sunoo!” She exclaimed when she saw them. “Who’s this?” She looked at Sunghoon in wonder. Sunoo turned to him expectantly. 

“I’m Sunghoon,” he said quickly. “Sunoo’s friend from school,” he added. She stared at him for a few moments in awe, and he squirmed. 

She laughed, shaking her head. “Sorry, it’s just that Sunoo has never brought home a friend before. I’m his aunt, by the way,” she said, extending her hand. Despite her firm grip, Sunghoon noticed that she had gentle eyes that reminded him of her nephew's. 

“Why don’t you two take a seat in the living room, and I’ll bring you guys some snacks,” she suggested. He smiled and thanked her. Sunoo tapped him and lifted his backpack, nodding towards the stairs in indication that he was going to go drop his things off in his room. Sunghoon nodded, and then took his seat on one of the couches. 

He looked around. There were pictures everywhere, documenting Sunoo throughout the years. He wasn’t the least bit surprised to see that the boy had been adorable throughout the entirety of his life. Most of the pictures were just of Sunoo by himself, but one particular frame on the mantle caught his eye. 

It was Sunoo sitting at a picnic table with a man and a woman, and they were laughing. Sunghoon wondered if these were his parents, and noticed that it was one of the more recent photos. He couldn’t have been a year or two younger in the picture than he was now. 

It was a candid shot, caught mid conversation. The man had his head thrown back in laughter, while Sunoo’s mouth was caught halfway open, as if he was in the middle of saying something. 

“Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon nearly jumped out of his seat, and he twisted around to face Sunoo’s aunt, who had returned from the kitchen with two small cartons of banana milk. She set them down on the coffee table, and then to his surprise, sat down next to him.

“You’re the friend who bought him the iPad,” she said, “aren’t you?” Her eyes were steady on his face, searching. Sunghoon felt his face warm. 

“Y-yes,” he stuttered in reply. He wondered if he was about to get the shovel talk. He could already hear it: What are your intentions with my nephew, she would say. Of course, he’d only introduced himself as a friend, because that’s all he was. But she apparently knew about the gift he had gotten Sunoo, and her scrutinizing gaze left Sunghoon positive that she could see his feelings written clearly on his face. All he could do was desperately hope that she would approve of him. 

He almost sagged in relief when she nodded decisively. “You seem good for him,” she told him softly. “But I hope that you’re a patient person.” 

Sunghoon frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“He’s still… recovering from something,” she explained. “I’m sure you’ve noticed one of the side effects of that,” she said pointedly. Was she talking about his muteness? 

He opened his mouth to tell her that it wasn’t necessary for him to be patient, because it didn’t make the slightest difference to him whether Sunoo spoke French, gibberish, or not at all. 

But then Sunoo returned, brightening at the sight of the banana milk on the table, and his aunt left them alone again with one last lingering smile at Sunghoon.

—

The boys sat cross-legged on the floor, doing their homework together and munching on the sliced fruit that Sunoo’s aunt had brought out for them. 

“So I’m the first person you’ve brought home, huh?” Sunghoon said teasingly. Sunoo rolled his eyes. “I must be your best friend then.” 

Sunghoon expected to be scoffed at, but to his surprise, Sunoo just nodded. You are. 

“I’m your best friend?” He asked, surprised at the easy admission.  

Of course. 

Sunghoon didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t reply in kind; the truth was, Sunoo was not his best friend. 

And he couldn’t figure out yet how to tell Sunoo that he wanted to be more. 

Chapter Text

Do.

“Do.”

Re. 

"Re.”

Mi. Sunoo plunked the E on the piano, indicating the note for Sunghoon to sing. 

He sighed. “Why is learning this necessary? Why can’t I just sing la la la and be done with it?” Sunoo looked at him, unimpressed. 

“Are you teaching him solfège?” Heeseung appeared beside them. 

Sunoo scrunched his nose. Trying to. 

“It’s easy though,” he laughed. Sunghoon scowled at the older boy. 

“Yeah okay, Mr. Perfect Pitch,” he grunted. 

“Okay, class,” Mrs. Park announced, clapping her hands to grab their attention. “It’s time for our midway checks.” Sunghoon gulped and looked at Sunoo. “For our first duo of today, we have a volunteer!” She said cheerfully. 

Sunoo stood up from the piano bench, biting his lip nervously. Sunghoon grabbed his hand. “Are you sure?” He asked worriedly.

Sunoo shrugged. I have to do it eventually. He looked at Heeseung, who nodded and sat down at the piano where Sunoo had just been. 

Niki had called them that morning, informing them that he was out sick, to which Jay had replied that he needed to stop sticking his grubby hands in everyone else’s food. Of course, this left Sunoo without a partner. When he’d told them that he wanted to perform today and get it over with, Heeseung immediately jumped up and offered to stand in for Niki. 

Sunoo had written down the basic chords for the accompaniment, trusting Heeseung to improvise by ear. He pulled out the sheet of paper from his folder and propped it up on the stand. Heeseung scanned it over and nodded, and Sunoo took his place at the front of the class. 

It immediately became clear to Sunghoon that his decision to sacrifice himself for Sunoo the other day had been futile, because unlike him, Sunoo didn’t falter and run out of the room in a flurry of panic. He opened his mouth, and the room around them disappeared. They all sat, in awe, as the most beautiful voice they’d ever heard filled the room. Sunghoon felt like he was hearing it for the first time all over again. 

Some inane part of him felt regretful that the whole class was hearing him sing, that he now had to share the secret of Sunoo’s voice with everyone else. He wanted to keep it all to himself, to hear that voice everyday and memorize its breathy falsettos and buttery bass notes. 

Sunghoon heard a whistle that he identified as the one Jay let out whenever he was impressed by something. He wished he was sitting within reach of the boy so he could pinch him to make him shut up, but he couldn’t blame him for being amazed. 

When Sunoo finished, and the last notes of the piano died away, the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. And then, Sunghoon started to clap. One by one, everyone else joined him, and soon Sunoo was blushing as he was appraised by as thunderous of an applause as could be generated by twenty something people in a small room. Despite wanting to keep Sunoo to himself, Sunghoon couldn't help but think that the boy deserved to sing in a packed arena.  

Heeseung shook his head, laughing softly. “That was really something, Sunoo-ah,” he said with a small smile. “If you’re not careful, I just might fall for you.” Sunghoon looked at him sharply, but Sunoo just ducked his head shyly. Heeseung met Sunghoon’s annoyed stare and quickly schooled his features into an innocent expression. 

Someone cleared their throat loudly. “Instead of falling for Sunoo, why don’t you and your boyfriend go next, Heeseung-ssi?” 

Sunghoon decided that he was no longer afraid of Mrs. Park. In fact, he had never appreciated a person more. 

***

~Two Hours Earlier~

***

“Gather round, friends,” Jay announced. “It’s time for phase two of the plan.” 

“What plan?” Jake asked. 

“Where’s Sunghoon?” Heeseung observed, noticing his new friend’s absence. 

“He’s eating lunch in the music room with Sunoo,” Jungwon told him. 

“As one does when they’re hopelessly whipped for someone but don’t know how to make a move,” Jay said. “But we’re going to change that.” 

“How?” 

“I am so glad you asked, Jakey,” Jay said with a devious grin. “If there's one thing that me and Sunghoon have in common, it's that we’re jealous creatures.”

“He almost had a meltdown when he saw Heeseung hyung pat Sunoo on the head,” Jungwon remarked. 

“Doesn’t he know I’m dating Jake?” Heeseung asked in surprise. 

“Hee,” Jay said with a sigh, “What you need to understand is that logic, and a Park Sunghoon who’s in love, do not mix.” 

“So what’s the plan?” Heeseung questioned.

“Well normally, Sunghoon is too shy to do anything. But when he saw you two with Sunoo, he damn near marched over and confessed his love in front of the entire student population,” Jay recounted. “So how do we prompt him to make a move?” He looked around at his companions expectantly.

“Uh…” Jake said. 

Jay let out an impatient sigh. “We make him jealous.” 

“And how do you suggest we do that?” Heeseung asked. 

Jay looked at him implicatingly. 

“Me?!” Heeseung exclaimed. “I’m taken,” he emphasized, to which Jay just shrugged. “Why can’t you recruit Niki for your stupid plan? He’s the single one.” 

“Yes, but he’s currently lying in bed at home, sneezing up a storm,” Jay replied. “And he better stay there until he’s not in danger of spreading his plague to the rest of us. So for now, you’ll have to fill in.” 

“Why can’t you do it?” Jake asked. He looked like he was trying not to laugh, seeming more amused at the idea of his boyfriend pretending to flirt with another boy than jealous. 

“I’m too loyal to Jungwon,” Jay answered proudly. Jungwon nodded firmly in affirmation. 

“And I’m not loyal?” Heeseung spluttered. 

“Well sure, but Sunghoon doesn’t know that,” Jay said dismissively. 

Heeseung looked at him, aghast, but Jay didn’t waver. He groaned. “Just until Niki comes back, right?” he asked in resignation. Jay nodded excitedly. “And if Sunghoon kills me before then, you’re not invited to my funeral,” he warned. 

Jay gasped. “I don’t know what I’ve done to be uninvited to so many of my friend’s funerals, but don’t worry. Sunghoon is all bark and no bite. At most he’ll just sulk intensely in your direction.” 

Heeseung’s idea of a good time didn’t exactly involve one Park Sunghoon sulking at him, but he had already committed himself to this matchmaking fiasco. 

“Let Operation Jealousy commence!” Jungwon yelled. 

Later that day, Heeseung learned that Jay was right; Sunghoon was all bark and no bite. However, that didn’t stop the boy’s glare from drilling a hole into the back of his head. 

He could only pray for Niki’s speedy recovery. 

Chapter Text

Sunghoon hummed under his breath absentmindedly, scribbling away at his math homework. He was lying on his stomach on the floor of Sunoo’s bedroom, elbow to elbow with him. They had been doing this for a week now, and while Sunghoon was usually one to prefer solitude while completing his work, he found that Sunoo’s presence made him more productive than ever. 

Sunoo suddenly looked over at him curiously, and he realized what he had been humming was the song that Sunoo had sang. “It’s stuck in my head,” Sunghoon told him. Though he hadn’t had the pleasure of reading Sunoo’s lyrics yet, the boy could write one hell of a melody. 

Sunoo smiled. You like it? Sunghoon nodded vigorously. 

“Do you have a name for it?” He asked, curious. Sunoo nodded, but didn’t say anything else. “Aren’t you gonna tell me?” Sunghoon prodded. 

Sunoo laughed. It’s a secret. 

Sunghoon pouted. “Aren’t friends supposed to tell each other secrets?” 

You tell me one then, Sunoo said, looking at him in amusement. 

I like you, Sunghoon thought. It was the first thing that popped into his mind. He wasn’t a secretive person, mostly because nothing else in his life was interesting enough to be a mystery. Enter Sunoo, who’d slipped into his day to day routine and turned his world upside down. 

But of course he couldn’t tell him any of that. He coughed. “Keeping secrets it is, then.” 

—

Niki made his grand return back to school the next day, supposedly fully cured. As soon as he sat down at their lunch table, Jay said, “I have something for you.” 

The six of them watched as the boy reached into his backpack and pulled out something neon yellow that was folded up into a neat square. He stood up from his seat, and with a dramatic shake, the object came unfurled. 

“Are you fucking serious,” Niki deadpanned. 

“Where did you even find a hazmat suit?” Heeseung asked, looking both judgmental and incredibly impressed. 

“You can get anything online,” Jay replied. “Which has lead to some very unfortunate impulse purchases. If any of you need dog food, lemme know. I have twenty pounds of it.” 

“You don’t even have a dog,” Jungwon said, looking at his boyfriend incredulously.

“It was on sale.” 

“You must be out of your goddamn mind if you think I’m wearing that,” Niki swore. “I’m not even sick anymore.” 

“You’re out of your mind if you think you’re coming anywhere near my food before putting this on,” Jay retorted. 

Five minutes later Niki was glaring at all of them from inside his full-body neon suit. 

You look like a teletubby, Sunoo said. Sunghoon snorted into his hand. 

Niki started to turn his glare on Sunoo, then decided he didn’t have the heart to do it, and went back to glaring at Jay. 

“Are you a germaphobe, Jay?” Jake asked, trying not to laugh. 

“No, I just thought it would be funny,” he answered. 

“I’m eating your entire lunch,” Niki informed him. 

“Fair enough,” said Jay, and slid his tray over. 

“How have your study dates been going, hyung?” Jungwon asked, looking at Sunghoon with a sneaky smile.

He flushed. “Study dates?” 

“With Sunoo,” Heeseung said, just as slyly. 

Sunghoon coughed nervously. “They’re not study dates. We just do homework.” 

“Oh so you’re not exclusive?” Niki asked with a raised eyebrow. “Can I have a study date with Sunoo hyung today, then?” Sunghoon froze.

Jungwon buried his face in Jay's shoulder, trying to contain himself, while Heeseung thanked his lucky stars that he wasn’t the one being used as bait anymore. 

Sure, Sunoo told him with a smile. 

Sunghoon wilted inside. He would have to do homework alone today then. Of course, he hadn’t expected Sunoo to reject Niki. He was too nice for that, and plus there would be no reason to, since they were friends. Just like he and Sunghoon were. Sunghoon scowled. He did not want to share the same title as Niki. 

Sunoo nudged him. When Sunghoon looked at him, the boy nodded at the food on his tray that he had been neglecting. 

Are you going to finish that? 

In an act of petty defiance that he was truly ashamed of, he shoveled the food into his mouth all in one go. Sunoo blinked at him. 

“Here, you can have mine, hyung,” Niki chirped, sliding the tray over to Sunoo, who brightened and began to dig in. Niki looked up at him and smirked. 

Sunghoon stood abrubtly and left the table to put his plate away. 

“What do you mean, yours?” He heard Jay say to Niki behind him. 

Sunghoon knew he was acting like a child. But if Sunoo chose a neon yellow teletubby with an overly large appetite over him, he thought a tantrum was in order.  

Chapter Text

Sunoo liked Niki. He really did. They got along well, and had a good rapport when it came to practicing music together. Niki was sweet to him, despite their other friends claiming him to be the biggest brat alive. Sunoo had always wanted a little brother, and now he felt like he finally had one. 

He enjoyed Niki’s company, truly. He just couldn’t help but miss Sunghoon, and he didn’t think he’d imagined the crestfallen look on the boy’s face when he’d agreed to breaking their routine with Niki coming over either. Had he been jealous? The thought made Sunoo’s heart race, though he wasn’t sure why. 

Even his aunt had looked surprised to find that it wasn’t Sunghoon accompanying him today, but she just greeted them both warmly and got them snacks without a word. 

“Hyunggg,” Niki whined. He had already eaten his way through two plates of biscuits. Sunoo was almost impressed. He had never met anyone who could match his appetite before. “You’re distracted.” 

Sunoo blinked. He clicked his iPad back on; the screen had shut off while he’d been lost in thought. Am I? 

Niki nodded firmly. “You are,” he said. “What are you thinking about?” His face suddenly changed, and he leaned closer to Sunoo, a boxy grin on his face. “Or who?” 

Sunoo scoffed. What are you talking about. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Niki said innocently. “Maybe you’re wishing I was a certain Mr. Park Sunghoon?” 

Sunoo felt his cheeks warm, and he cursed his tendency to go visibly red whenever he was flustered. Why was he so flustered, anyway? Sunghoon was probably the person he felt the most comfortable around at the new school, and he never felt nervous or uncomfortable when they were together. 

But Niki’s line of questioning was making him fidget. 

“By any chance… do you like him?” 

Sunoo’s eyes widened. Did he like Sunghoon? They had only known each other for a few weeks, and yet, they had fallen into an easy rhythm that made it feel like they had been life-long companions. Did he like Park Sunghoon?

“I—” he began. He clamped his mouth shut. 

Niki froze. Sunoo froze. 

The younger boy stared at him in shock, and Sunoo realized with mounting horror that without thinking, he had opened his mouth to answer Niki. 

His breaths started to come out in starved gasps and Niki looked at him in alarm. “Hyung! Hyung,” he said, placing a steadying hand on Sunoo’s arm. “It’s fine,” he said gently. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Sunoo closed his eyes and nodded. He waited for a few moments, until his throat opened back up and he no longer felt like he was clinging to the edge of a cliff. 

Niki had asked him a question. He had asked him if he liked Sunghoon, and Sunoo had started to speak without thinking. He may have cut himself off before he could reply to Niki, but the foreign sound of his own voice had startled him into becoming aware of the answer himself. 

He thought about Sunghoon constantly, and at the same time, Sunghoon rendered him unable to think.

And more than all of that, Sunghoon had made him speak. 

---

Niki pulled Sunghoon to the side the next day. 

"How was your study date?" Sunghoon asked him with a tight smile. 

Niki ignored the question. “I think you were right,” he told him in a low voice. Sunghoon looked at him in confusion, and Niki realized he had blurted out the statement with no context. “I think Sunoo can speak,” he elaborated.

Sunghoon’s eyebrows shot up. “How do you know?” he asked skeptically. 

Niki hesitated, wondering how much he should say. “Well, uh,” he stammered, suddenly feeling put on the spot under the weight of Sunghoon’s intense gaze. “Because he… did?” 

Sunghoon inhaled sharply, then started choking on his own spit. “He— you… what?!” he spluttered unintelligibly. He paused to collect himself, then asked in a strained voice, “He spoke to you?” 

“Y-yes?” Niki wondered if he should tell Sunghoon exactly what Sunoo had been responding to, but then decided against it. He had probably said too much already. "It was just one word, but..."

He was quickly regretting saying anything at all, because it looked like a light had gone out in Sunghoon’s eyes. “I see,” the boy said, sounding defeated. “I guess you two are getting pretty close.” Sunghoon’s mouth twitched upwards, like it was trying to fight against gravity. Niki could see that he was making a conscious effort to keep his facial expression neutral, but he could tell that something was off. 

Niki felt a pit in his stomach. This wasn’t what he had wanted at all. “I think he likes you, hyung,” he said softly. He wasn’t just saying it to humor his friend. Anyone with eyes could see that the softness in Sunghoon’s eyes when he looked at Sunoo was reflected right back at him. 

“Of course he likes me,” Sunghoon replied, but his face was still clouded over. Niki’s heart sank. “We’re friends.”

Chapter Text

Jay approached their table, and seeing as how only his boyfriend, along with Heeseung and Jake were there so far, he made an announcement. 

“Sunghoon is in stage four,” Jay said gravely. 

“Stage four of what?!” Jake exclaimed, looking extremely alarmed. 

“Of his stages of grief,” Jungwon explained, catching on.  

Jake furrowed his brow and his eyes rolled up into his head as he tried to remember exactly what the stages of grief were. 

“Don’t bother,” Jay told him. “Sunghoon has his own set of stages. He is currently in stage four, which is self hatred.” 

Heeseung nodded slowly. “I can see that.” Ever since they’d enacted their stupid little plan and Niki had been getting closer to Sunoo, the shadow over Sunghoon’s face grew darker and darker each day. He found it quite worrisome, and the only silver lining was that he had only been the target of the boy's jealousy for a day. “What are the first three stages?” 

“Anger, sulking, and pettiness,” Jay said matter-of-factly. 

Jake stared at him. “Rightttt,” he said. 

“Don’t believe me?” Jay said. “Look,” he nodded towards where Sunghoon and Niki were approaching with their trays. 

“Ya, Park Sunghoon,” Jay addressed him as soon as the boy sat down. “You have a stupid face.” 

“Excuse me?” Sunghoon blurted, looking affronted. Jay discreetly held up one finger. 

Sunghoon’s annoyed expression quickly transformed into a pout. “I didn’t have time to do a face mask this morning, leave me alone,” he said, sounding sullen. “And your face is stupider, stupid,” he added childishly. 

Jay held up fingers two, and three. 

“At least I don’t look like I got ran over by a tractor,” Jay remarked, a taunting grin on his face. 

Sunghoon’s shoulders slumped, and he suddenly fell face forward on the table, smacking his forehead with a loud bang. Jungwon jumped a little in his chair. “Maybe that’s why Sunoo doesn’t like me,” came his muffled voice. 

Jay’s fourth finger joined the rest, and he looked at Jake and Heeseung triumphantly. 

“Wow,” was all Heeseung could say. 

Jungwon patted Sunghoon’s shoulder soothingly, while cringing up at the rest of them. “There, there, hyung,” he comforted. 

“Where is Sunoo, anyway?” Niki asked. 

Sunghoon lifted his head and looked at the boy balefully. “Shouldn’t you know?”

“Oh boy,” Jay sighed. “And we’re back to stage three.” 

“Have faith Hoonie hyung!” Jungwon exclaimed in a cute voice. “I will go down with this ship. If you two don’t get together I’ll have to resort to writing fanfiction,” he huffed. 

“Oh lord, not the fanfiction,” Jay groaned, all too aware of his boyfriend’s obsession. “They’re all like, ‘The boy had ebony hair and soulful eyes, and smelled like fresh laundry and soap.’” He scoffed. “What a weird way to describe someone. Everyone smells like fucking laundry and soap, you know, if you do your laundry and shower.” 

“I guess that’s why no one’s writing fanfiction about you,” Niki commented while munching on a cookie, having taken the opportunity to steal Jay’s dessert during his impassioned rant. 

“Don’t lecture me on hygiene when you just stuck your filthy hands in my food again,” Jay said indignantly. “Where’s your biohazard suit?”

“Yellow isn’t my color,” Niki scowled. 

“Send it to me when you’re done writing, Jungwonie,” Sunghoon told the boy sorrowfully, ignoring his friends’ squabbling. 

Jungwon looked at him sympathetically. “Don’t be so pessimistic, hyung. There’s no way Sunoo would choose Niki over you,” he said. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I don’t know if he would choose me even if I was the only option,” Sunghoon said, ignoring Niki. 

“You’re a catch Sunghoon,” Jake supplied sweetly. 

Jay paused on wrestling with Niki- which had apparently started at some point- and looked up from where he was trying to get the boy into a headlock to scowl at Sunghoon. “I don’t like self deprecating Sunghoon. Go back to being petty. At least petty Sunghoon is funny,” he said. 

“I’m so sorry that my misery isn’t consistently entertaining for you,” Sunghoon intoned.

“Apology accepted,” Jay replied cheerfully, reaching over to slap him on the shoulder. “I guess now would be a good time to tell you we hired Niki to make you jealous?” 

“…” 

“I think you should run,” Niki said nervously. 

“I think you mean we should run,” Jay responded, sounding equally as panicked. The boys clung on to each other, ready to make their escape. 

“…” 

“There’s the murder eyes,” Jungwon observed. Jay and Niki scrambled to their feet, tripping over each other in their haste.

“I’ll cover you from behind—” 

“Go, go, go!” 

They were halfway out of the cafeteria before Sunghoon finally processed what he had just heard.

“You WHAT?!” 

Chapter Text

“Where were you yesterday?” Sunghoon asked. 

I was visiting my parents, Sunoo answered, avoiding his eyes. He didn’t want to see the curiosity there, the questions that he would be unable to answer. Sunghoon had yet to meet his parents— something the boy was probably keenly aware of every time he came over and saw only his aunt in the house. Sunoo didn’t know how to tell him that he never would. 

But Sunghoon didn’t ask him any questions. That was something Sunoo loved about him. People were naturally curious, which he understood, but it still put him in a tough spot whenever that curiosity extended to areas he was terrified to touch on. But Sunghoon never required more of him than he was able to give. 

Sunoo wanted to give him everything. 

“One week until the talent show, folks!” Jay exclaimed, sitting down across from them, Jungwon in tow. “I hope you’re all prepared for me and Jungwonie to make heart eyes at each other on stage.” 

Sunghoon rolled his eyes, and pretended to retch. “I’m forced to see that every single day,” he said. “It’s no longer a novelty, trust me.” 

“I could say the same about you,” Jay muttered under his breath petulantly. 

“When are you going to show us your lyrics, Sunoo hyung?” Jungwon asked, resting his chin in his hands and leaning forward in curiosity. Sunghoon looked over, wanting to hear the answer as well. 

Sunoo smiled and shrugged. When the day comes. 

Jungwon pouted. “I can’t believe you’re making us wait,” he whined. “Is Niki going to sing?” 

We’ll see, was Sunoo’s cryptic reply.

“Where is Niki, anyway?” Sunghoon asked. 

“He’s sitting with Heeseung and Jake today,” Jay said, slurping up a spoonful of ramen happily. 

“How come?” 

Jay huffed. “I banned him from eating my food for a week, and he called me petty,” he explained. “Can you believe it? I’m petty for wanting to eat my own lunch!” Jungwon patted him comfortingly.

Sunghoon's mind wandered. He had been feeling guilty for acting jealous and bratty towards Niki recently; that is, until he had found out that it had all been a set up. 

None of it changed anything though. Even if it had been orchestrated by his friends, it didn’t change the fact that Niki and Sunoo had gotten closer, and that Sunoo had felt close enough to the boy to speak in front of him. 

He didn’t want to feel any type of way about it. He would never force Sunoo to talk if he didn’t want to, ever. But some part of him still felt the sting of rejection, knowing that the boy had shown that vulnerability in front of someone that wasn’t him. 

“What’s your song about?” Jungwon directed his attention back to Sunoo. 

Someone special. 

Jungwon and Jay gasped, while Sunghoon stared at him in surprise. “I thought you said it wasn’t about anybody,” he said accusingly. Sunoo just smiled to himself, his cheeks coloring. 

Sunghoon’s heart sank. That was it, then. Sunoo had finally found someone who inspired him to speak, someone who inspired him to write. While Sunghoon was used to the Jaywon heart eyes, he didn’t know if he could bear to watch Niki and Sunoo look at each other like that while performing. 

He wanted to feel bitter towards Niki again, but he couldn’t. The two of them complemented each other. More than Sunghoon ever could, probably. He had moved past his petty stage and like Jay had said, was on stage four: self deprecation. 

Sunoo nudged him, jerking his chin towards the leftovers on his tray like he always did. Sunghoon nodded his permission, and the boy reached over to grab the plate. His fingers brushed against his arm, and Sunghoon jolted. In a burst of mindless impulse, he seized Sunoo’s hand and held it. 

Sunoo stared at him. Jungwon and Jay stared at him. Sunghoon stared down at the hand that was now clasped in his. “His hand was cold,” he said, feeling like he had to justify his actions. 

It was the truth. When Sunoo had brushed against him, goosebumps had erupted on his skin, the boy’s hand cold as ice. He had acted without thinking. But despite his initial intentions, he found that he didn’t want to let go, even though Sunoo had already warmed up underneath his touch. 

Sunoo cleared his throat, and then proceeded to grab the plate with his other free hand. He began eating, again using only the hand that had not been commandeered. The other tightened around Sunghoon’s and remained clasped there, resting on the table. 

Sunghoon felt like he was dreaming. He had to be. But until someone came and woke him up, he would carry on pretending that this hand was his to hold.

Chapter Text

“Why are we letting him do this again?” Niki looked like he was questioning all of his life choices, mainly the choice to be here in this moment. 

“Why wouldn’t you?” Jay sniffed. 

“Maybe because the last time you baked, a life was nearly lost.” 

“Sunghoon helped me, so it’s at least fifty percent his fault,” Jay said. 

“Are you kidding?” Sunghoon scowled. “I take twenty percent of the blame, at most.”

“Thirty.”

“Twenty-five.” 

Jay stuck his hand out playfully, and they shook on it. Jungwon stared at them. “Yeah, instead of negotiating how much of the blame to take for my death, maybe just don’t kill me next time.” 

“That’s why we are all gathered here,” Jay announced. “To make sure nobody dies today.” 

“Why can’t you just buy your mom a birthday cake from the store?” Sunghoon asked. He had grudgingly accepted Jay’s invitation to come over and help him bake for his mother. He had turned slightly less grudging once Jay had told him he would be inviting Sunoo too. 

The boy stood next to him, not talking much. He had set his iPad aside in fear that it would get covered in food, but Sunghoon didn’t mind. He liked having Sunoo next to him anyway, his presence warm and fulfilling.

“A cake should be filled with love,” Jay said. 

“A cake should be edible,” Niki grunted, but he licked his lips as he surveyed the ingredients spread over the kitchen counter. 

Jay snapped into his leader role, assigning each of them tasks to complete. “Sunoo, you’ll measure out the dry ingredients. Niki, you’re on whisking duty. Sunghoon,” Jay grinned, “you go hover over Sunoo and see if he needs any help.” Sunghoon flushed, but was more than content with that arrangement. 

“What about me?” Jungwon piped up. 

Jay glanced at his boyfriend in adoration. “You just stand there and look pretty,” he cooed, pinching the boy’s cheek. 

“Sunoo’s already doing that,” Sunghoon said mindlessly. He froze. Beside him, Sunoo ducked his head shyly, hiding his face in his hands. 

Jay looked gleefully amused. “There’s no reason there can’t be two pretty boyfriends, right?” He snickered.

“He’s not my—” Sunoo looked up at him and he faltered. 

“I’m pretty too,” Niki interjected out of nowhere. 

Sunghoon cleared his throat. “Let’s get on with it,” he said gruffly. “Your mom will be home soon.” 

Just like Jay had instructed him to, he hovered over Sunoo’s shoulder, watching him work. The boy’s tongue poked out of his mouth as he concentrated on measuring out the exact amount of flour. 

Sunghoon didn’t know what was wrong with him lately. He kept getting struck by impulses, which resulted in him blurting things out about Sunoo being pretty, or doing things like grabbing his hand during lunch. Now, the impulse made him dip his hand into the sack of flour and fling it into Sunoo’s face. 

The boy’s mouth parted in shock, and Sunghoon couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. The flour completely coated his nose and cheeks and there was a light dusting of white on his eyelashes, like fine snow. Sunghoon suddenly had a strong desire to witness the first snow with Sunoo someday. 

The next thing he knew, he was coughing uncontrollably as particles filled his lungs. He waved his hand, dispersing the cloud of flour that had been thrown at him in retaliation. 

When the air between them cleared, he was faced with Sunoo’s sly grin. “You!” He said incredulously. Sunoo laughed, a tinkling sound that sounded like sunshine. He wanted to hear it again. He reached for the the bag. 

Before long, they were in a full on flour flinging fight, until they both looked like ghosts from how completely caked in white they were. Sunoo kept dodging him, and Sunghoon was ready to tackle him into a hug when Jay yelled, “Stay on task lovebirds!” 

They immediately straightened and dusted off their clothing, looking shamefaced. The two continued working side by side, their energy spent, but both wore small smiles on their faces. 

—

Sunghoon had his back turned when it happened. The oven was beeping, indicating that the cake was ready to come out. He was about to yell at Jay to get it, when he heard a clatter and a scream. 

“OW!” 

He whipped around in panic. The cake was safely on the counter, though dropped in haste, but he only had eyes for the boy who was now cradling his hand in pain. Everyone turned and stared, and Sunghoon realized. 

Sunoo had spoken. It was just a reaction, a simple word spoken out of reflex, but it was still strange and shocking to hear come out of his mouth in his familiar, yet unfamiliar voice. Nobody moved for a moment. 

Sunghoon was the first to snap out of it. He stalked over to Sunoo and pulled the boy over to the sink by the wrist. He quickly turned on the faucet, twisting the handle so that the water was as cold as possible, and shoved Sunoo’s hand under the stream. The boy hissed. 

Sunghoon inspected his face carefully. His cheeks were flushed and red, but he wasn’t crying, which he took as a sign that he hopefully wasn’t too badly hurt. “Are you okay?” He asked softly. Sunoo turned to meet his gaze, bringing their faces close. Too close. 

He suddenly realized the position they were standing in, barely an inch of space between them. Sunghoon’s eyes flickered down to Sunoo’s lips. He told himself that there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for looking at the boy’s mouth, that it was only a reaction to hearing him speak for the first time. 

But he knew he was lying to himself. That wasn’t at all why he was looking; because he knew it had never mattered to him whether words came from Sunoo’s lips or not. He stared at them all the same. 

—

They all waited in anticipation as Mrs. Park took the first bite. She chewed slowly, her face completely blank, and then swallowed. “Jongseong,” she said. 

“Yes?” He replied nervously. 

“Did you mix up the sugar and the salt?” She asked calmly. His face dropped. 

“What?!” He leaned forward to scoop a bite off of the plate, and immediately started gagging. 

“What the— what the fuck,” he said around coughs. “Who measured out the sugar?!” 

Sunoo raised his hand timidly. It was now neatly wrapped in gauze, which Jungwon had retrieved in a panic, breaking Sunghoon out of the moment. It was probably for the best. God forbid he continue staring at Sunoo uninterrupted, and do something stupid like kiss him. 

“You said the bag of sugar was on the table,” Sunghoon came to Sunoo’s defense. “There was only one bag there.” 

“There were two bags, one was full of salt and the other had just enough sugar left in it for the recipe,” Jay argued. 

“Oh, did you need that?” Niki suddenly looked extremely guilty. Jay turned to him slowly. “I was hungry,” he said in a small voice. 

Jay was shaking his head in disbelief. “You… you ate the sugar?!” He cried. “There was like a cup’s worth in there!” 

“… I’m a growing boy with a growing appetite?” 

Jay stared at him with wide eyes. “What is wrong with you,” he whispered in awe. 

Mrs. Park stood up from the table, plate in hand. “We’ll use it as compost,” she said decisively. 

Jay nodded vigorously. “A wonderful idea,” he said. “Wait— let Sunghoon try it.” 

“Why me?”

“It’s almost as salty as you, you might like it.” 

Mrs. Park held the plate out to him with a poorly disguised smirk and Sunghoon reluctantly took a bite. He immediately spat it out. 

“What’s the verdict?” Jay laughed.

“I would feel guilty feeding that to my trash can,” he proclaimed.

“That should teach you a lesson about ogling Sunoo instead of helping him properly, like I told you to,” Jay scolded him smugly. 

Sunghoon couldn’t even argue with that. He hated how often Jay was right about things these days. 

Chapter Text

Park Sunghoon was the bravest person alive. He could overcome any challenge, and remained fearless in the face of even the most daunting of situations. He was unstoppable. 

At least, that was what he was telling himself over and over in his head as he faced the most daunting challenge of all: asking Kim Sunoo on a date.

He cleared his throat for what was probably the fifth time in the span of a minute. Sunoo looked at him strangely, probably thinking he had acid reflux. 

“Sunoo,” he began. “Tomorrow is Saturday.” Sunoo nodded slowly, wondering why Sunghoon was announcing this fact to him. “Do you… do you want to go watch a movie with me?” His voice came out hoarse, and he cleared his throat again. “I’m parched,” he mumbled. 

When he finally gathered the courage to look Sunoo in the face, he found the boy beaming from ear to ear. Sunghoon blinked. He had always thought that cliche descriptions were cheesy as hell, but there was no other way to describe the boy’s smile other than blinding. Sunoo nodded enthusiastically. Of course I will. 

Sunghoon felt an enormous weight lifted off his chest, and he sagged in relief. “Okay,” he said, his cheeks hurting from the effort it took not to grin with teeth. “Movie tomorrow then. You and me.” 

When Sunoo’s aunt poked her head into the room to ask them if they wanted anything to eat, she found the two boys lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with equally giddy expressions. 

—

“You WHAT?!” Jay’s fork clattered to the ground, abandoned in his state of shock. 

“Why are you so surprised?” Sunghoon said huffily. “Isn’t this what you’ve been rooting for?” 

“Well, yes, but I didn’t think you’d actually manage it,” Jay spluttered. “Can you believe it Jungwonie?” He asked, shaking his head, “I can’t believe it.” He suddenly narrowed his eyes at Sunghoon and crossed his arms over his chest. “What are your intentions with my son?” 

“Are you fucking serious?” Sunghoon replied flatly. 

Jay raised his eyebrow. “I’ve grown quite protective over our Ddeonu,” he said with a sniff. “I can’t let just any random boy come and sweep him away.” 

“You’ve know me for years,” Sunghoon said, unimpressed. “And I was your friend first.” He heard Jungwon let out a snort, and he realized with a wince how childish he sounded.

“Where are you taking him?” Jay interrogated. 

“Just dinner and a movie,” Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “Stop being so dramatic, it’s not like I’m going to elope with him or anything.” Jay fixed him with a skeptical look. “I promise.” 

“Wait, hyung,” Jungwon said. “You did tell him you want it to be a date, right?” He and Jay both looked at Sunghoon expectantly, waiting for his answer.

“Um. Isn’t that implied with dinner and a movie?” He asked nervously. 

Jay reached out to steady himself on Jungwon’s shoulder, pressing a hand to his own forehead. “Omo,” he gasped. “He’s so stupid.” 

“What did I do?” Sunghoon cried. 

Jay patted his head, and Sunghoon batted his hand away in annoyance. “Okay Hoonie, I trust you with Ddeonu now. You’ve put me at ease.” 

“Why?” He asked with a frown. 

Jay sighed, exchanging an exasperated glance with Jungwon. “You’re definitely too chicken to do anything.” 

Chapter Text

“Are you seriously wearing that?” 

Sunghoon tugged on his clothes self-consciously. “What’s wrong with it?” He asked. “I thought I’m supposed to dress nice.” 

Jay let out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah, but you already missed your chance to establish that this is a date. He's going to dress casual, and you're going to show up looking like you’re about to present at the UN.” He snatched the blazer off of Sunghoon’s shoulders, before turning around to rummage in his closet. “Here, wear this,” he said, tossing over a black shirt. 

Sunghoon caught it and looked at it skeptically. “A turtleneck? It’s too hot for that,” he complained. 

“If you want to look hot, you gotta be hot,” Jay told him firmly.

“Why don’t you take your own advice?” Sunghoon remarked, eyeing the boy’s tank top and tattered jeans.

Jay just shrugged. “There’s no need for me to dress to impress anymore. I’ve already secured the love of my life,” he said, unable to keep himself from smiling at the mention of Jungwon. 

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “You are hopelessly obsessed with that boy.” 

Jay tossed him a pair of black jeans before flopping onto the bed, giving Sunghoon a look. “The mirror is over there. Go repeat that sentence in front of it.” 

Sunghoon grumbled and donned Jay’s chosen outfit without further complaint. If he had to sweat a bit to secure the love of his life, so be it. 

—

Sunghoon was immediately grateful that he had dressed down after Sunoo showed up in his usual hoodie and sweatpants. The boy trotted up to him with a bounce in his step, his cheeks dimpling. Sunghoon was pretty sure that even if he had showed up in a suit and tie, Sunoo would still outshine him every time. 

“You look nice,” Sunghoon blurted. Sunoo frowned down at his simple attire, then looked up at him with a laugh. Sunghoon flushed, wondering why he even bothered opening his mouth these days.

“Let’s go inside,” he muttered, leading Sunoo into the movie theater. The sooner they were in a pitch black auditorium with a movie blasting from the speakers, the sooner Sunghoon’s chances of completely embarrassing himself diminished. 

Sunghoon purchased two tickets for the new romance movie that was playing, based on another piece of Jay’s advice. 

“Subliminal messages,” Jay had said. “Pick a movie with some cheesy love story, and with you sitting right next to him, he’ll think ‘that should be us.’” 

“Is there anything cheesier than you and Jungwon?” Sunghoon had muttered. 

Sunoo raised an eyebrow at his selection, but didn’t comment. Sunghoon suddenly felt paranoid. “What? Do you not like these types of movies?” He asked shyly.

Sunoo smiled and patted his arm reassuringly. I usually watch horror. But this one seems really good too. 

It was Sunghoon’s turn to raise an eyebrow. At this point, he really should’ve been used to Sunoo subverting his expectations. The thought of the boy who buried his face into Sunghoon’s sleeve every time a fly buzzed too close to his ear— I mean really, who’s afraid of flies?— enjoying a genre of film even Sunghoon was too chicken for was mind-boggling. 

Next, Sunghoon led him over to the snack counter. “Pick whatever you like,” he said casually, pretending to inspect their selection of candy very carefully. Sunoo patted his pockets, to tell him: I don’t have enough money. Sunghoon pulled out his wallet and smacked it into the boy’s palm. “Go crazy,” he said. 

Sunoo stared down at the object in his hand with wide eyes, and Sunghoon realized with a twinge of remorse that maybe he shouldn’t have called Jay out for being hopelessly obsessed. 

But when they walked into the theater a few minutes later, their arms loaded with treats and Sunoo looking at him with shining eyes, Sunghoon decided it was more than worth it. 

—

The movie ended, and if Sunoo had been struck by some grand epiphany about his feelings for Sunghoon during the course of the film, he didn’t inform him about it. 

Sunoo’s hand had been resting on the arm of the seat the whole time, and Sunghoon had been so tempted to grab it. His fingers had twitched with intention multiple times, but they ultimately stayed firmly put in his lap. His palms had been slick with nervous sweat anyways, and Sunghoon did not want his first move to culminate in Sunoo having to wipe his hand off on his pants. 

All in all, he was content and Sunoo was happily stuffed with sweets, so he considered the day a success. 

“Do you need a ride home?” He asked. 

Sunoo shook his head. I live super close by. I can walk. 

“I’ll walk you,” Sunghoon said immediately. Sunoo bit back a smile, looking pleased. 

They walked in peaceful silence for most of the way, hands swinging almost close enough to brush, but not quite. “Did you have a good time?” Sunoo nodded, but there was a look of slight unease on his face. “What’s wrong?” Sunghoon asked, trying not to panic. Had Sunoo not enjoyed himself as much as he'd initially thought? 

I’m sorry if I’m a bit boring to spend time with. 

Sunghoon halted in his tracks. “What are you talking about?” He asked in disbelief. 

It’s hard, only being able to write. Sunoo looked down, biting his lip. It’s hard holding a conversation. It’s hard being understood. 

The confidence that had been nowhere to be found back in the theater suddenly came back to Sunghoon now, and he grabbed Sunoo’s hand with his thankfully dry one. Sunoo looked up at him in surprise. 

Sunghoon had been so in his head, that he hadn’t even considered that maybe Sunoo was worried about Sunghoon enjoying his company as well. He thought it was obvious, just by the way he looked at Sunoo like he hung the stars in the sky. He knew this because Jay had told him.

Sunghoon let himself look at Sunoo like that now, putting in none of the usual effort he did to try and conceal how he felt. He watched the pink spread from Sunoo’s cheeks down to his neck, and thought that maybe his message was getting across. Sunghoon leaned closer. “I understand you just fine,” he said throatily. 

This time, it was Sunoo who looked down at his lips. Sunghoon wondered what his excuse was. He himself had no excuse for continuing to lean forward, his long bangs hanging off his forehead and sweeping against Sunoo’s. When Sunoo made no move to pull away, he started to close the gap. 

His phone rang. 

The two of them sprang apart, suddenly looking anywhere else but each other. In an act of what he thought was remarkable self restraint, Sunghoon answered the call instead of flinging the device clean across the road.

“Hello?” He said, his voice strained. 

“Hoonie!” Jay cried. “Are you back home yet? How did it go?” 

Sunghoon closed his eyes and breathed in and out slowly, counting to ten. 

“…Hello?” 

“Park Jongseong,” he growled. “Your days are numbered.” 

Chapter Text

“Where’s Jay?” 

“I killed him.” 

Niki’s eyes widened. “Really?” 

“No,” Sunghoon admitted with disappointment.

Niki looked dubious. “I’d believe it.” 

“I’m hereee,” Jay yelled, swinging the door open with a flourish. Mrs. Park gave her son an unimpressed look. 

“You’re late,” she stated.

“Fashionably.” Jay trotted over to Niki and Sunghoon and sat down beside them. “What’s up, dumplings?” He said cheerfully, pinching Niki’s cheek before reaching over for Sunghoon’s face. He slapped the hand away before it could touch him. 

“I really wish I had,” Sunghoon told Niki. 

“Had what?” Jay asked curiously.

“Killed you,” Niki answered blithely. 

“Aww are you still mad about that, Hoonie?” He teased. Jay turned to Niki. “He claims I interrupted him from going in for a smooch, but knowing him, he wasn’t going to do it anyways.”

“I was!” Sunghoon protested. 

“What’s the problem then?” Jay challenged. “Just try again.”

“No,” Sunghoon huffed petulantly. 

“If you don’t, I will.” 

Sunghoon’s eyes widened. Jay looked at Niki nervously. “Uh Niki, we’re not doing that anymore, remember?” 

The boy shrugged. “What’s that got to do with anything?” He smirked at Sunghoon. “If you don’t move quickly enough, I might just use the talent show to confess to Sunoo through song.”

“I’m already doing that,” Sunghoon snapped. The performance was this Friday, just days away. He had practiced tirelessly in front of the mirror, in front of Jungwon and Jay, and he had even forced his parents and little sister to listen and give him feedback. 

He was taking every last measure and precaution to ensure he didn’t croak in front of an audience again, especially not in front of the one person he was trying to impress.

“Are you actually?” Jay asked him in surprise. Niki blinked curiously. 

“I—” He clamped his mouth firmly shut when he saw Jungwon and Sunoo enter the music room together. The two boys joined the rest of the group, and Sunoo stared at Sunghoon a moment longer than he usually did. Sunghoon, in his awkward panic, avoided his eyes at all cost. 

Even if Jay hadn’t interrupted, there was no guarantee that Sunoo wouldn’t have shoved him away at the last moment. Sunghoon wondered if Sunoo had caught on to what he was trying to do, and wondered how he felt about it. He wasn’t about to ask. 

“Hey!” Jay complained. “How come Wonie and Sunoo don’t get scolded for being late?” He scowled at his mother. She ignored him, and he pouted. 

“Are you capable of scolding Jungwon or Sunoo?” Niki asked pointedly. 

Jay pursed his lips in contemplation. “Good point,” he finally said. 

“We were just talking about what Sunghoon is planning to do at the talent show,” Niki brought up casually. Sunghoon silently added him to his hit list. 

“What is he planning?” Jungwon asked, clueless. 

“To sing,” Sunghoon said with gritted teeth. “I’m planning to sing.”

He noticed Sunoo continuously trying to catch his eye, but Sunghoon adamantly kept his face turned away. After the awkward ending to their date (not date), he was afraid to confront the boy. He didn’t know if he could bear the rejection right now, not when he had so blatantly put himself out there. 

Still, he would have his chance to face the music— literally, and figuratively— and bear his heart. He just had to wait a few more days, and he would either end up a happy lovesick fool, or a miserable one. 

Just a few more days. It was the grand gesture they’d all been waiting for. 

Chapter Text

Sunoo was not an idiot. He knew when he was being ignored. He was also used to it, despite the initial sting that he felt when he had first stopped talking and everyone else subsequently started talking over him. It seemed obvious, but nobody listens to you when you’re not able to say anything. 

But it was different with Sunghoon. He never talked over him, always waited patiently for Sunoo to formulate his words on paper, and he always listened. Sunghoon would never ignore him, ever.

Well he was now. 

He had some idea of why. After their outing (as Sunoo had firmly dedicated himself to calling it, after realizing that there was no possible way Park Sunghoon would ask him on a date), the boy kept avoiding his eyes, like he was ashamed to even look at him. 

Sunoo had thought they’d had a good time. For him personally, it was the best day he’d had in a long while. He had never gone out with a boy before; not one on one, and certainly not with a boy that made him blush like crazy and want to fling himself into the sun. He had worried though, that him being voiceless meant that such an outing could not be nearly as entertaining for Sunghoon as it was for him. 

The boy had managed to convince him that that wasn’t the case. There had even been a moment, when Sunghoon was walking him home, that Sunoo thought that something might happen. He had looked at Sunoo, the same way he’d looked at him in Jay’s kitchen while he held his hand under running water, his eyes drifting down Sunoo’s face. 

But then the loud ringing of a cell phone had snapped both of them out of their trance, and Sunghoon had jerked away. Even afterwards, they continued walking with a gap between them that hadn’t been there before, no longer brushing sides. 

And then Sunghoon hadn’t looked at him or talked to him at all at school the next day, despite Sunoo’s best efforts. He should have expected it, he supposed. 

Despite making excruciatingly slow progress, he knew he had a long way to go before he could manage to form a full sentence. Until then, he would forever be burdened with the curse of being looked over. 

His aunt had taken him to multiple specialists but they all said the same thing: it was all in his head. He was the only one who could help himself. 

He thought back to the day he had gone silent, almost a year ago now. He thought of the final conversation he had had with his parents, his final spoken conversation ever. In more ways than one, it was a day full of regret and last words. 

He couldn’t even remember what the fight had been about. But he was sure that like most fights, it hadn’t been worth the pain that it caused. Some small squabble had escalated into an emotional rant on both sides, raised voices saying things nobody truly meant. 

It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. Sunoo and his family didn’t fight often, but when they did they were quick to apologize and move on, closer than ever. But in his frustration, he left the house to get some air and cool off. He didn’t tell anyone. 

He lost track of time. He didn’t know how long he had been out, but based on the shade of the sky when they finally found him, it must have been multiple hours. 

They told him that his parents had been driving around looking for him when it had happened. They were always so overprotective and cautious, and it was these traits that probably instigated most of their quarrels. But they had always wanted what was best for him. They'd been worried about their son being alone outside at such an hour, no matter how safe the neighborhood was. So they both took the car out and drove along the streets, searching in the dark.

It was a drunk driver, Sunoo found out later. Going over fifty in a residential area. They never saw it coming. 

Sunoo moved in with his aunt. Everyone thought he was just being unusually quiet at first, in shock from the incident. But the silence continued. Not a sound escaped Sunoo’s lips since that day, other than when he sang. His mother had always called him her songbird. 

The last thing he had said to her was some heated remark about how they were ruining his life. The memory made his throat close up and tears come to his eyes whenever he tried to open his mouth to say something. Words were poisonous. Silence was always the better option. 

Nobody seemed to care what he had to say anymore anyway, even if he were to say anything. So he remained comfortable in his muteness, and despite his aunt’s best efforts, continued to carry around a notebook as his main mode of communication. 

And then Park Sunghoon came along. Sunghoon, who had spoken to Sunoo first. Sunghoon, who looked at Sunoo like he wanted to listen. 

Suddenly, everything was easier and harder, all at once. 

Chapter Text

Like he often did these days after fumbling things with the boy he liked, Sunghoon was kicking himself. And Jay, ever the supportive friend, was kicking him while he was down. 

“Would you like to explain to me why my son has been pouting and looking like a kicked puppy the whole day?” Jay asked with narrowed eyes. “I thought I warned you not to hurt him.” 

“How do you know I’m the one who hurt Sunoo?” Sunghoon protested. 

“Because I witnessed you giving him the cold shoulder with my very own eyes,” Jay said flatly. 

“I wasn’t giving him the cold shoulder,” he mumbled guiltily.

“I know. You were just moping and retreating into yourself like the scared, lovesick boy that you are,” his friend said bluntly. 

Sunghoon stared at him. “Are you ever nice to me?” He wondered. 

Jay continued on like he hadn’t heard him. “But to everyone else who doesn’t know you like I do, it looks like the cold shoulder. Which is obviously what Sunoo thinks,” he said.  

Sunghoon knew he was right. He had somehow garnered a reputation at school of being some cold, aloof guy, but the truth was, he was just shy. And that was just with people whose opinion he didn’t care about. Sunoo was a whole different story. 

“I’ll make it up to him tomorrow,” he sighed heavily. 

“You can make it up to him now,” Jay told him sternly. “I’m pretty sure he’s in the music room getting some last minute practice in with Niki.” 

That was the thing about Jay. He loved and defended all his friends equally, no matter how short of a time span he had known them for. And if he really had hurt Sunoo unintentionally, then Sunghoon could admit that he deserved the talking-to he was getting right now. 

He would very much prefer to wait until tomorrow, but he knew he shouldn’t procrastinate on this, as nervous as he was. He would find Sunoo and tell him that it was all a misunderstanding, that Sunghoon had just been mortified that he had tried to kiss him and failed. The thought of saying the words out loud to him made his cheeks burn. 

The music room was mostly empty as expected; everyone had already gone home for the day. But Sunghoon could hear the faint sound of Niki’s voice coming from inside. 

He cracked the door open, not wanting to announce his presence yet and interrupt. He peeked inside to see Sunoo and Niki standing close to each other, Niki resting an elbow on the piano as he leaned into Sunoo’s space. Neither boy noticed him. 

“Sunoo-ah,” Niki said in an uncharacteristically low voice. 

Sunghoon almost snorted out loud. Was he trying to sound older than he was? And why was he speaking to Sunoo informally? 

“I like you.” 

Sunghoon’s heart dropped. His eyes darted over to Sunoo, trying to gauge his reaction to the confession. The boy had both hands on his face, trying to cool down the rising flush in his cheeks. He looked flustered, shy, but certainly not uncomfortable or put off by Niki’s announcement of his feelings. 

Something wilted inside him. Even with all of Niki's teasing, he had never suspected that it was more than just that- teasing. The boy had warned him that if he moved too slowly he would go ahead and try for Sunoo's heart himself. He supposed it was his fault for not taking him seriously.

Sunghoon closed the door quietly and slipped away. He was too late. 

Chapter Text

Niki. Do you know why Sunghoon is mad at me? 

Niki blinked at him in surprise. “Sunghoon is mad at you? Is that even possible?” He said jokingly. Sunoo hadn’t thought so either, but there was no other explanation for the boy’s radio silence today. “Maybe you should tell him that the song you wrote is for him,” Niki said slyly. Sunoo whined.

Those lyrics are never seeing the light of day. Ever. 

Niki shrugged. “His loss. You know,” he said, leaning forward with a mischievous grin on his face, “if things don’t work out with Sunghoon hyung…” Sunoo snorted and swatted his arm, and he pulled away cackling. Niki was flirty a lot of the time, but Sunoo thought of him as a little brother, and he was sure that the younger boy felt the same. 

Do you think we’re ready for tomorrow? Sunoo asked. 

“As ready as we’ll ever be,” Niki replied, plunking out some random keys on the piano. They’d practiced as much as they could, but Sunoo still worried about putting on the perfect performance. He wanted to see that look again, the look that Sunghoon gave him whenever he sang. 

“A little birdy told me that Park Sunghoon is going to confess to someone tomorrow,” Niki said casually. Sunoo’s breath caught. 

Don’t get my hopes up.

“Who said he’s confessing to you?” Niki snickered. Sunoo glared at him. “Kidding! Kidding,” he added hastily. “Geez, you’re scary when you’re mad.” Sunoo pouted. “That’s more like it,” Niki nodded.

Even if he did, I wouldn’t know how to act, Sunoo said, looking at his friend wistfully. 

Niki looked at him in disbelief. “And you think Sunghoon knows how to act around you?”

Sunoo shrugged. He was done making assumptions about a boy who may or may not like him. 

“We should practice,” Niki said suddenly. Sunoo looked at him questioningly. “For when the boy finally pulls his head out of his ass and spills his heart out,” Niki explained with a smirk. Sunoo rolled his eyes. 

Niki took a step towards him, bringing their feet close. “Sunoo-ah,” he said in a deep baritone voice that didn’t belong to him. 

Sunoo wanted to laugh at how much the boy sounded like Sunghoon, and not at all like him at the same time. He forgot to scold Niki for speaking to him informally, even if he was in character. 

“I like you,” Niki continued, staring at him intensely. Sunoo imagined those same words being spoken to him in a voice that was naturally deep, from a person who naturally looked at him like he was the most important person in the world. 

Sunoo covered his face and blushed. He kept himself hidden for a good minute, trying to calm himself down from his little fantasy. 

Niki finally stepped away again, laughing like crazy. “You’re cute, but don’t forget to actually give him an answer when the time comes.” 

Isn’t my answer obvious? Sunoo asked, his complexion finally starting to return to its normal hue. 

Niki looked at him thoughtfully. “That’s true. Neither of you are very subtle.” He suddenly let out a loud groan, and Sunoo looked at him in alarm. “I just realized,” the boy said in exasperation. “I’m going to be the only single one in the group.” 

It was Sunoo's turn to snicker at him. Niki looked at him pleadingly. "Are you sure you want Sunghoon over me?"

Sunoo shook his head fondly, and patted Niki on the head. 

He's the only one for me. 

Chapter Text

“Here,” Jay said, tossing a small bottle at Sunghoon. It fell into his lap with a rattle. 

“What is this?” Sunghoon asked, looking down at the unidentified substance. 

“A gift.” 

“These are laxatives,” Sunghoon stated flatly after inspecting the label on the pills. 

His friend grinned, and Sunghoon felt a bad joke coming on. “For your emotional constipation,” Jay said proudly. 

Sunghoon turned to Jungwon. “Do you think he’s funny?” He asked with genuine curiosity. 

Jungwon shrugged. “I didn’t fall for him because of his humor.”

“That’s because I have so many other swoon-worthy qualities that attracted him to me,” Jay said. 

Sunghoon squinted, glancing him up and down. “Jungwon must have better eyesight than I do,” he concluded. “And I’m not emotionally constipated,” he scowled.

Jay looked at him, unconvinced. “Then you promise you won’t chicken out tonight, and you’ll actually go through with telling Sunoo how you feel?” He challenged. 

Sunghoon bit his lip. “About that…” Jungwon groaned. “I don’t think I should anymore.” 

Jay threw his hands up in exasperation. “And why the hell not?!” He cried. 

“Well… I sort of saw Niki confessing to him,” Sunghoon said, his gut twisting at the memory. 

Jay blinked in surprise. “Well damn. Way to go, Niki,” he said, sounding impressed. Jungwon nudged him and gave him a look. “I mean,” he added hastily, “Booo! How dare he!” 

“What did Sunoo say though?” Jungwon asked. “That’s really the important part.” 

Sunghoon opened his mouth to answer, and then realized he didn't actually know. “I sort of left immediately,” he admitted. 

“Wow,” Jay said, shaking his head in disappointment. “Ready to give up so easily, and you don’t even have all the information.” 

“I didn’t say I’m giving up,” Sunghoon argued. “I was just considering it.” 

“Well you have an hour to consider not being a colossal idiot, or I will actually feed you these laxatives and then your performance won’t go quite as planned either way.” 

—

After putting Jay’s "gift" safely out of the boy’s reach, Sunghoon slipped on his blazer and slacks, the ones Jay had convinced him not to wear on his day out with Sunoo. He looked himself up and down in the mirror. He looked good. 

Jay and Jungwon came up behind him dressed in a similar fashion, and he heard a whistle. 

“Well don’t we look like a bunch of rockstars,” Jay remarked. “The whole school will be swooning over you in that outfit,” he told Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon looked at the mirror and straightened his shoulders. “I don’t want the whole school,” he replied resolutely. “I want Kim Sunoo.” 

Jay nodded and slapped him on the shoulder proudly.

“That’s the spirit!” Jungwon cheered. 

Jay pulled back the sleeve of his suit jacket and glanced at his watch. “Not to cause any panic, but we have to be at the school in twenty minutes and there’s always traffic,” he announced. 

“You should drive, Jay hyung,” Jungwon told him. 

Sunghoon scoffed. “Are you kidding? Do you want to get there alive?” 

"No," Jay corrected, “We want to get there on time."  

Thankfully, they pulled up in front of their school’s auditorium both alive and on time, with minutes to spare. Students were milling about, mingling with each other in the parking lot as seats were still being set up inside. 

Jay parked the car and they stepped out, just as Sunoo and Niki did the same in the space right across from them. Sunoo’s aunt waved at him through the windshield from the driver’s seat, and Sunghoon waved back before finally, finally, meeting Sunoo’s eye. 

The world stopped. 

If Sunghoon had thought that he looked good, Sunoo looked downright ethereal. He too, was dressed in neatly pressed slacks, but unlike the rest of them, was jacket-less. He wore a flowing silvery-white dress shirt that gave off a rippling sheen effect whenever he moved, and his bangs were parted down the middle, showing off his forehead. Sunghoon couldn’t stop staring. 

“Oh boy,” Jay said from beside him, though he barely registered anyone else’s presence at the moment. “He’s not even on stage yet and he’s already catatonic.” 

Chapter Text

After Jay invited Sunghoon over to help him bake the cake for Jungwon— which he had thought was a spectacularly bad idea, and he had been right— Sunghoon couldn’t get the idea of the promise ring out of his head. 

Jay had warned him against doing anything too drastic too soon, and unlike most of the things that came out of Jay’s mouth, this was probably sound advice. But still, the thought of Sunoo wearing something that Sunghoon had gotten for him… 

Sunghoon grabbed his jacket and made a trip to the store. 

“I come bearing gifts,” he announced to everyone at the lunch table the next day. He slung down the plastic bag containing yesterday’s impulse purchases. 

“What is it?” Niki asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. 

“Candy,” Sunghoon answered nonchalantly. “But if you don’t want any…” 

Niki’s eyes brightened at the promise of sweets and made a grab for the bag. Sunghoon snatched it away. “I’m in charge of distribution,” he snapped. 

The boy scowled, his hands retreating back into his lap. “Touchy,” he muttered. 

Sunghoon pulled out the chocolate first, tossing it over to Jay and Jungwon. 

“Sunghoon is performing an act of kindness,” Jay said, catching his share with one hand. “Should I be concerned?”

“You’re not dying, are you, hyung?” Jungwon’s brows knit together in a semblance of worry. Jay unwrapped his candy bar and stuck it out for Jungwon to take a bite. Sunghoon hated them both. 

“Licorice for Niki,” he continued, ignoring their quips. He wrinkled his nose as he handed the candy over. “Why do you like this stuff?” He asked, eyeing it skeptically. 

“It’s black, like my soul,” Niki stated solemnly. 

“Geez, lighten up kid,” Jay snorted.

Sunghoon cleared his throat. “Well for Sunoo, I guess that leaves…” He slid the bag and the remainder of its contents over to the patiently waiting boy without making eye contact. The wrapper crinkled as Sunoo pulled the last item out.

Jay choked. “Park Sunghoon—” He began hysterically.

“Nobody asked you,” Sunghoon cut him off quickly. He looked over to Sunoo in apprehension. 

The boy beamed and slid the ring pop onto his ring finger without hesitation. Sunghoon felt faint. 

"Will you look at that," Niki whistled, shooting a smirk at Jay. "He actually got a ring onto his boy's finger without it making a detour down his esophagus."

"Some would argue that's where a ring pop is meant to go," Jay replied haughtily. 

"A ring pop, yes. A titanium band? Not so much." 

Sunghoon didn't care much what his friends thought of his silly little gift. The piece of candy jewelry had cost him 25 cents at the local convenience store; it wasn't much of a grand gesture, not yet, but maybe it was a mini stepping-stone gesture for what was to come. 

He watched Sunoo with a smile on his face. The boy twisted his hand this way and that in admiration, as if Sunghoon had just given him the most precious gem in the world. 

Chapter Text

They met up with Mrs. Park backstage, who herded them into the dressing rooms to warm up. Sunghoon, Jay, and Jungwon got put in the same room, while Sunoo and Niki, along with Jake and Heeseung, were directed to another. Sunghoon found himself feeling grateful for the division- if he and Sunoo were in close quarters leading up to the performance, he would definitely lose his nerve. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone’s jaw literally drop to the ground like that,” Jay teased him. 

“Nobody has the right to look that good,” Sunghoon protested, feeling justified in his reaction to seeing Sunoo stepping out of the car looking like an actual angel. 

“Jungwonie does,” Jay replied, pinching the boy’s cheek. Jungwon beamed. 

Sunghoon let out a slow breath through his mouth. HIs stomach was swooping up and down like he was on a rollercoaster, even though he was standing perfectly still. “How long until we go?” He asked, fidgeting. 

“Thirty minutes,” Jay said, checking his watch. “Try not to puke on my shoes before then.” 

“Hyung,” Jungwon said, turning to Sunghoon. “Let’s go practice in the bathroom. The acoustics are good there.” 

“Good idea,” Jay said. “That way there’s a toilet on hand if he needs to hurl.” Sunghoon scowled at him but obediently followed both of them to the restroom. 

—

“What the hell are those noises you’re making?” 

Jay stopped singing. “Vocal warm-ups. They loosen your vocal cords, you should try.” 

“No thanks,” Sunghoon replied. “I don’t want to add to Jungwon’s pain.” 

Jungwon dropped his hands from his ears sheepishly. “You’re doing great, hyung,” he told Jay. 

“At least tell me you’re not giving up on Sunoo yet,” Jay said, glancing at Sunghoon with a challenging look. 

Sunghoon knew the minutes were ticking by quickly. He would soon have to get up on stage and confront two of his worst fears. Singing in front of people, and being upfront about his feelings. The more he thought about his plan to dedicate his song to Sunoo in front of the whole school, the more nauseous he felt. 

“I think you were right,” Sunghoon said, trying to pace his breaths. 

“What?” Jay said, startled. “You’re going to give up?” 

“No,” Sunghoon winced. “I might throw up.” 

Jay let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, good,” he said. Jungwon took a step back in alarm. “Wait, don’t,” he added quickly. 

“Hyung, you’ll be fine,” Jungwon said comfortingly. “It’s just Sunoo.” 

“Yeah, even if he rejects you, he’ll probably do it so gently it’ll just feel like a warm hug,” Jay contributed, not so comfortingly. 

Sunghoon groaned, dragging his hands over his face. “It’s not just Sunoo. You guys don’t understand,” he cried out exasperatedly. In his frustration, he didn’t hear the creak of the door being cracked open. “How could someone like me, ever be with someone like him? I can’t even imagine it. It’s making me sick to my stomach,” Sunghoon said, as he felt another nervous lurch in his gut.

The door closed once more, unnoticed.

“What makes you sick, hyung?” Jungwon inquired gently.

Sunghoon shivered, feeling the hairs on his arms stand straight up, pebbling his skin with goosebumps.

“Not being with him,” he said quietly. “The thought of not being with him makes me feel sick.” 

—

After Sunghoon decided that he would manage to keep his food down, but that he was too nervous to practice, the three of them returned to the dressing room. They sat around idly, waiting for their names to be called. The show would be beginning any minute now.

The door suddenly swung open with a bang. Niki appeared in the doorway, looking out of breath. “Guys,” he gasped, placing his hands on his knees. 

“Niki, what’s wrong?” Jungwon asked worriedly. 

“Why are you getting yourself all sweaty and gross right before your big performance?” Jay remarked. 

Niki straightened up, a look of dread on his face. “I don’t know if there will be a performance,” he said gravely. 

“What? Why not?!” Jay exclaimed. 

Sunghoon felt his heart sink in anticipation. 

“Sunoo is gone.” 

Chapter Text

“What do you mean he’s gone?” Sunghoon asked hollowly. 

Niki pursed his lips. “He left to go to the bathroom a while ago and he didn’t come back. When I went to check, he wasn’t there.” 

Sunghoon felt all the blood drain from his face, and his forehead erupted into a cold sweat. Mrs. Park poked her head into the room.

“Five minutes,” she said, before disappearing once more. 

Sunghoon stood up abruptly, making his way over to the door. 

“Where are you going?” Jay asked. “There’s not much time left.” 

“I’m going to do what I should have done from the beginning,” he answered, and pushed his way past Niki and out into the hallway. He ran out the double front doors of the auditorium, across the parking lot, and towards the main campus. 

It was just a hunch, an inkling, but he felt like he knew where Sunoo could have gone. He ran all the way there like his life depended on it. 

He flung open the door to the music room. It was completely dark, none of the lights on. But Sunghoon could see the faint outline of a figure sitting at the piano, and the soft sweet sound of Sunoo singing under his breath. The shadow looked up at Sunghoon and fell silent. 

Sunghoon stepped forward, forcing himself to place one foot in front of the other until the distance between them had closed. “I have to tell you something,” he said. Sunoo dropped his gaze. From the look on his face, it seemed like the last thing he wanted to be doing was hearing out whatever Sunghoon had to say. 

Nevertheless, he forged on. He felt like he had gotten pretty good at reading Sunoo, but he still was not a mind reader. He would not allow himself to assume whatever Sunoo was thinking right now and give in to the doubts swimming around in his head. Not this time. 

“I like you,” he blurted. Sunoo’s head shot up. Sunghoon was done scripting out what he was going to say. The more he ran over the lines in his head, trying to formulate the perfect confession, the more he lost his courage to say it out loud. He let all of his feelings just flow out of him now, unplanned, unfiltered. He hoped that Sunoo would hear his raw honesty and finally be able to define the softness in Sunghoon’s eyes every time he looked at him. 

“I liked you the moment you lifted your head up in front of the classroom that first day, because you were the prettiest thing I had ever seen. Shallow, I know," he said with a dry laugh. "But I liked you again the first time I ever heard you sing, because you had the most enchanting voice I had ever heard. I wanted to keep hearing that voice every day. And I liked you the first time I ever talked to you, and I liked you all the times after that. Because you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, Kim Sunoo. Every part of you; when you sing, when you’re quiet, when you laugh, when you cry. I love all of it." He took a deep breath. "And I think I love you too.” 

Sunghoon finally finished, his heart hammering in his chest. Sunoo was looking straight at him; he had looked at him the entire time he was talking, but his face didn’t betray any expression. If he were anyone else, he might have interrupted Sunghoon’s ridiculous, lovesick rant. But he had remained as quiet as always, a silent songbird who only opened his mouth to sing.

The seconds ticked by with no response from Sunoo, and he made no motion to even type or write anything down. All of Sunghoon’s previous dread returned as his brain flooded with clarity. What had he just done? What had he just said? 

“You don’t have to give me a reply,” Sunghoon said numbly. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I— I want to still be friends, if you want to. Or I can leave,” he said desperately, already turning around. 

He would do what he did best in an anxiety-filled situation, and flee. “I’ll go,” he whispered, and with brisk steps, carried himself further and further away from Sunoo. He felt like he was floating; the weight that had been lifted off his chest with his confession made him lightheaded, but the weight of the rejection pressed back down on him. This was what happened when he let all of his thoughts out without a script. He placed his hand on the handle of the door. 

The electric shock zapped through his fingers at the same time as another, different shock wracked his whole body. 

“Don’t go.” 

Sunghoon froze. Slowly, ever so slowly, he turned around. With a trembling hand, he reached over to flick on the light, and the boy before him became illuminated in color. His cheeks were painted with a rosy flush, and his lips were trembling. His lips, which had just parted to speak the first real words Sunghoon had ever heard him say. 

“Did you just…” Sunghoon trailed off. There was no use in continuing the question. There was no one else in the room but the two of them. Without a doubt, Sunoo had just spoken. 

“Stay,” Sunoo whispered. His voice was quiet, a bit rough around the edges from disuse, but it was still soft, just like when he sang, just as Sunghoon had always imagined it. “Stay, and I’ll sing to you every day if you want.” 

Sunghoon felt like he was dreaming. He must be dreaming. “I want,” he breathed. 

Sunoo continued, his voice growing in volume, blossoming with a newfound confidence that came so easily when it was just the two of them together. “All my lyrics are for you. Did you know?” 

“I know now,” Sunghoon said, and Sunoo half rose up off the piano bench as Sunghoon crossed back over to him in three long strides, and pulled the boy into his arms.  

Before he could even draw in another breath Sunghoon leaned down, and in the moments that followed, neither of them spoke. Both of them were quiet with no words left to say, save for a silent song that passed between their lips. 

And it was the most beautiful song they had ever sang. 

Chapter Text

"Don't walk so loud! You have to be quiet." 

"You're telling me to be quiet?" 

Sunoo responded with an exasperatedly fond look, and continued tugging him forward by the hand. "What happens if we get caught?" Sunghoon asked nervously.

Sunoo let out a huff of hair through his mouth, rustling his bangs. "We won't get caught," he assured him. "I'm a master of stealth." Sunghoon looked at him skeptically. "I am!" He insisted. "I was invisible for a year, after all." Sunoo said it nonchalantly, but the words struck a dissonant chord in Sunghoon's heart, and he suddenly dug his heels into the ground, bringing them both to a halt. Sunoo looked at him in confusion.

"You were never invisible," Sunghoon told him softly. "Not to me." 

Sunoo rolled his eyes, but Sunghoon could see the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I know, hyung. Now come on, we don't want to be here all night." 

They approached the front door of the auditorium, the place where they were both supposed to have performed the night of the talent show. It was the performance Sunghoon had planned to confess with. He had gotten a confession out, but it hadn't been quite the one he had planned for. Still, with Sunoo's hand clasped in his, and his warm honey voice finally speaking back to him, available whenever he wanted to hear it, he couldn't wish that it had gone any other way.

Sunghoon reached forward and jiggled the handle of the door. "It's locked," he observed with some disappointment. "Of course it's locked. How did you expect us to get in?" It was after hours, and the entire campus was dark and vacant. There was not a single soul in sight save for the two of them, but Sunghoon still did not want to risk being caught in the act of breaking and entering.

But Sunoo only smiled at him slyly. He reached into his pocket and procured a key, waving it around in the air. The light of a street lamp from the parking lot glinted off the rusted metal. 

"Where did you get that?" Sunghoon hissed.

"Jay gave it to me," Sunoo said.

"Jay?!" 

"His mom has access to all the keys," he explained. 

"And he just handed it over to you?" 

"Well," Sunoo said abashedly, "I told him if he didn't, I might show Jungwon the embarrassing poem Jay wrote for him that I found in his backpack."

"So you blackmailed him," Sunghoon said, stunned. "You're a little bit evil, Kim Sunoo, do you know that?"

"Am I?" Sunoo asked innocently.

Sunghoon shook his head in disbelief. "It's always the quiet ones," he mumbled. 

Sunoo quickly unlocked the door, and it swung open on its un-oiled hinges with a grating creak. They slipped inside. 

It was strange being here, when nobody else was around. It felt like a different world, where only the two of them existed in this empty, dark auditorium. It was strange, but a bit thrilling, and Sunghoon found it infinitely easier to step onto the stage at the front of the room, with the knowledge that nobody was watching or judging him. 

Sunoo made his way over to the center of the stage where the grand piano was still placed there, as if waiting to be played. He sat down on the bench, and motioned for Sunghoon to take a seat on the floor near him. He obliged with some amusement. 

"I bet you're wondering why I dragged you here with me at this hour," Sunoo began.

Sunghoon chuckled, but shook his head. "I didn't wonder. I don't need an excuse to follow you," he said honestly. Sunoo flushed and mumbled something about how he needed to stop saying things like that. 

"Anyways," he continued, "I wanted to show you what I meant to show you that night." He looked down at his hands nervously. "The song I wrote for someone special. Well the special one is you, obviously. And this song is for you." He cleared his throat in embarrassment, and turned to face the keyboard. Without further preamble, he began to play. 

Upon hearing just the opening notes of the piano, Sunghoon thought there was a chance he might be able to survive a performance from Sunoo, directly for him. Then Sunoo opened his mouth and began to sing. And he turned out to be very, very wrong. 

No matter how many times he heard it, Sunoo's voice never failed to put him in a trance. And the fact that this song was something Sunoo had created, created for him was almost too much to wrap his head around. The boy's soft, dulcet voice permeated the air, enfolding Sunghoon into a gentle caress. 

That first day that we met

I don't know what you saw

Everyone looked at me In sympathy

While you just looked in awe

If I'd had my voice back then

I would have told you the truth

I may have lost my words for now

But I want to sing for you

Listening to the lyrics, Sunghoon couldn't stop the lump from rising in his throat. 

All my lyrics are for you. Did you know?

Sunoo's voice faded away as the song came to an end, and the boy swiveled in his seat expectantly. "Do you know now?" He asked, breathless.

"I know," Sunghoon replied, tears blooming in his eyes. Did Sunoo know what he had just given him? The enormity of what he had just received? "Do you know?" Sunghoon asked him, stepping forward. Sunoo met him halfway, rising up and pressing his forehead to Sunghoon's. 

"I know," he whispered. "I know." 

Chapter Text

The air was crisp, the streets dusted with powdered snow. Sunoo leaned over the railing of the balcony, staring out onto the road below. People were gathered in huddles, bundled up in their fleece lined coats and fuzzy ear muffs. 

Three stories separated those celebrating down there, and his friends who were celebrating up here. The funny thing to note about this, was that Sunghoon was nowhere to be found in either of those places.

“Don’t worry,” Jay had assured him, after he’d pulled out his phone for the tenth time only to see that Sunghoon still hadn’t texted him back. “He’ll be here later, he said he just has to pick something up first.” 

Sunoo smiled weakly, more lonely than agitated.

Everyone was there: Jay and Jungwon obviously, being the hosts (who were even more sappy than usual given that New Year’s happened to fall around the same time as— what was it now? Their eight year anniversary?). 

Also in attendance were Heeseung and Jake, whom he had grown much closer to after graduation. 

Their friend group was filled with blessings, Sunoo thought fondly. All these pairs of high school sweethearts, still joined at the hip even years later. 

Ni-ki, to everyone’s amusement, was the life of the party. As much as Sunoo felt the ache of Sunghoon’s absence, if anyone could take his mind off of it, it was that kid.

He’d plopped himself down at Jay’s little piano— getting that up to the third floor of the building when he and Jungwon had moved in two years ago had been an ordeal— and all of them immediately gathered round, improvising wild tunes and not-quite harmonizing.

As they filled themselves with booze, the volume grew louder, their antics growing more out of hand. Finally, they decided to call off the mini-concert for the night before they got a noise complaint.

That had been an hour and a half ago.

Updates since then:

- Sunghoon still wasn’t there

- Jay and Jungwon had slipped away into their room to do nobody-wanted-to-know what

- Heeseung and Jake were stuffing their faces with pie in the kitchen

- Ni-ki was completely, stupidly, mind-boggingly wasted.

“Are you even legal?” Sunoo muttered, poking the boy’s limp form. He was half passed out on the couch, head hanging over the edge and legs kicked up against the wall.

“Yes,” Ni-ki groaned, eyes fluttering. “For three weeks now.”

Sunoo sighed. “I guess everyone has to figure out their tolerance the hard way.” 

After that, he’d left his friends to their own devices, stepping out onto the balcony for fresh air. The cold made his eyes sting and numbed the tip of his nose. 

No matter how stupid or crazy his friends got at times, Sunoo never forgot what they had done for him. How they had welcomed him, made him feel safe. And Sunghoon— Sunghoon, Sunghoon, Sunghoon.

The boy who had led him back to his own voice. The boy who had seen him, heard him, and decided he was worth waiting for. 

The boy who still hadn’t shown up to the New Year’s Eve party, with five minutes left until the clock hit midnight. 

Sunoo laughed to himself softly, shaking his head. 

He turned to head back inside, only to stop short as soon as he stepped into the living room. The space was completely empty— no Jay, no Jungwon, no chewing sounds coming from the kitchen, even Ni-ki’s lump of a body had upped and walked away. 

The only movement came from the flickering of a hundred candles, which now covered every inch of available surface in the apartment. Orange and gold danced up the walls, and Sunoo would have marveled at the beauty if he wasn’t so thoroughly confused.

He spun around in a slow circle, about to call out to the others, when someone beat him to it.

“Excuse me.” 

Sunoo froze. His breath caught in his throat, and he half believed that he would turn around only to find nothing there. 

But when he did, when he reanimated his petrified body and moved to discover the source of the voice, he found himself staring into the sparkling eyes of Park Sunghoon. 

“Hyung,” his breath escaped him in a delayed gasp. Sunghoon said nothing, only stepping closer and closer, until they were toe to toe. He reached up and gently touched Sunoo’s cheek, like he was cradling a pearl.

A faint chill swirled around them, wafting in through the open doors that Sunoo had forgotten to close behind him. Outside, from the streets below, the crowds began to chorus in a singular, chanting voice: 

Ten,

Nine,

Eight,

Sunoo closed his eyes. The hand slipped around to the base of his neck. 

Seven,

Six,

Five,

Warm breath swept over his cheeks—

Four,

Lips trembling over his own— 

Three,

His hand was suddenly enveloped, clutched between slender fingers—

Two,

Sunghoon closed the last millimeter of distance between them—

One.

His mouth melted under the kiss, 

Happy new year!!!

Something cool and smooth slipped over the knuckle of his finger. 

Sunoo jerked back, coming to his senses with a jolt just as the rhythmic pop, pop, pop of fireworks began erupting in the air. Sunghoon pulled his hand away, looking at him expectantly as Sunoo slowly processed the new shine ornamenting his finger. 

He was silent for several seconds, the quiet filled in with echoes of cheers and ecstatic screams.

“It’s not a ring pop,” he uttered at last, his face feeling numb. Sunghoon looked infuriatingly calm, albeit slightly flushed in the cheeks.

“No,” he agreed, biting back a smile. “No, it’s not.” 

“Oh…” Sunoo stared down at the glistening diamond, flexing his left hand so that it could better catch the light— so that he could confirm, without a doubt, with his very own eyes, that this was real.

At his delayed response, Sunghoon’s relaxed expression had morphed into one of worry, and the sly biting of his lip had turned into an anxious gnawing. 

“I guess it was a bit presumptious of me, just sliding it on like that, but well, I figured—” he was doing that cute rambling thing again, that habit of putting his foot in his mouth in the face of awkwardness that had so endeared Sunoo to him back then. 

It was still endearing, and while he would’ve loved to continue watching Sunghoon try to properly articulate his thoughts, he figured he’d put the poor boy out of his misery.

Sunoo kept his head down, letting his bangs hang over his face, concealing his smile. 

“Park Sunghoon,” he said in a low voice, “Are you asking me to marry you?” 

“Yes,” Sunghoon exhaled heavily, part relief and part apprehension. “Yes, I am.” 

“And,” Sunoo said, finally looking at him directly, no longer able to keep the grin at bay, “even though you’ve taken it upon yourself to slide the ring onto my finger already, would you like me to say yes?” 

Sunghoon let out a sharp bark of laughter, the sound almost pitiful in its desperation, before moving forward to slump against Sunoo’s body, letting his head rest limply against his shoulder.

“I would really like that,” he mumbled into the fabric of his sweater. “Really, really.” 

“Say yes already!” Jay barked from somewhere deep within the apartment. Jungwon’s bell-like laughter followed suit.

“What the hell,” Sunoo said. “I thought they were…”

“No,” Sunghoon snickered knowingly. “Just busy lighting a bunch of candles.” 

Sunoo huffed. “Was everyone in on this except for me?”

“That’s kind of the point of a surprise proposal,” Sunghoon pointed out. “So, yes.” 

“Well,” he said with a dramatic sigh, crossing his arms, “since this was all for me…”

Sunghoon’s eyes shone with hope, tilting his face forward. 

“Yes.” Sunoo finally allowed himself to burst into tearful laughter. “Yes, yes, yes.” 

The kiss that followed was deeper, more passionate than the first. 

Their friends emerged from the shadows with ear-shattering cheers; multi-colored stars sprinkled the sky;

And when they finally pulled away, they simply stared at each other in giddy disbelief, neither of them saying a thing.

They didn’t have to.

After all, words had never been needed between them.