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1) A phase pistol will never leave you to chase after some alien woman.
2) It won’t make snarky comments when it’s tired.
3) It doesn’t care if you’re feeling gloomy. Or even writing letters to all the women in San Francisco.
4) It gets itself (and you) OUT of dangerous situations rather than into them.
5) It never pulls rank.
6) The Captain doesn’t get fed up if a phase pistol wants to spend all its time with you instead of watching water polo.
7) You never have to worry about it getting stranded somewhere.
8) If it gets hurt, there are plenty of others just as good.
9) Practice really will make perfect.
10) Nothing you say can ever upset it.