Chapter Text
12 Grimmauld place 1969
Regulus Black. The youngest Black brother. Always second to Sirius, in both age and favour.
Ever since he was small he could recall Sirius getting their parent's and extended family's undivided attention, treated like the perfect little heir he was destined to be.
It was as though Regulus had never been born
He often wondered why they ever bothered in having a second son, when they had a perfectly decent first born who would one day inherit the Black fortune. In truth his mother had told him many times how she'd prayed for a daughter, and how disappointed she was when she had found out she had conceived another boy.
Despite the neglect, Regulus adored his brother the same as everyone else. They were best friends, they'd spend their mornings with their stern tutor, making faces behind his back, then in the afternoon they withdrew to their den they formed in the attic. They would play endless games of gobstones, various charmed boardgames and wizards chess (which was a little bit too advanced for Regulus), making up ridiculous tales of themfighting dragons and dreaming of going to Hogwarts together.
He looked up to Sirius, only one year his senior but he thought him to be the greatest person he knew, despite his longing for even 1/4 of the attention his brother got, his jealousy never turned bitter.
Because he had Sirius.
They both had the elegance of a Black, but Sirius' was much more apparent. From the way he held himself, to his air, his posture, the way he formed his words like they were poetry to be spoken softly. Even at 9 years old.
The distinguished features, the dark silky hair, the stormy expressions and grey eyes that acted as barriers. If the eyes are the window to the soul, the Blacks' had their curtains drawn.
Their parents enforced antiquated views on them from the very start. That muggles (non magic people) were the sort of scum you scrape off your shoe. The word 'muggle' was never spoken kindly in their house. Always spat, like some kind of venom you didn't want to ingest.
Their regime never really stuck to Sirius, nor Regulus.
When they were alone Sirius would tell him about the muggles that played in the park across the street. How he'd sat on the "swings", a muggle contraption that swung back and forth without magic, as high as you can go. The way Sirius talked about them, it sounded almost like different kind of magic to Regulus.
His mother and father would bestow priceless heirlooms and gifts upon his brother, whatever the occasion. On Christmas Sirius would be brought presents like he was the baby Jesus, which he might as well have been, once he was literally given a pile gold from a relative.
Regulus would wake up with a far less from them, but always expensive and brand new, if the Blacks were to prove anything it was that they were never short of money. It wasn't that he wasn't grateful, just that they didn't seem to pay any mind to who the gift was going to.
For example, one Christmas (also the day he turned 8 years old) he had gotten a silk cravat with a curling 'A' emblem on it, 5 sizes too big, so it hung down past his thighs.
Regulus was by no means any less privileged than Sirius, who were both taught that their blood made them as good as royalty. But it was like Sirius was always the new pet that everyone wanted to shower with adoration, and he was the old Jack Russel that limped around trying to stay out of everyone's way.
That all changed that day in 1969, when their father found him fraternising with the muggles in the playground.
Orion Black had marched his way out of the house, his face red with aggravation, and into the play park, where Sirius was sitting on the round-a-bout chatting with a muggle girl.
"FATHER, PLEASE I'M SORRY" Sirius' voice cried across the square as he was yanked to his feet by his locks
The door to 12 Grimmauld Place slammed so hard the muggles next door were sure to feel the vibrations, despite the charms.
Sirius lay on the dirty floor sobbing, staring up at the portraits of his ancestors that were now glaring at him, his skin coming up in welts and bruises as his father threw stinging spell after stinging spell at him.
"HOW DARE YOU CONVERSE WITH MUGGLE FILTH? ARE YOU A PUREBLOOD OR NOT?! TOUJOURS PUR! TOUJOURS PUR SIRIUS! ALWAYS PURE! ALWAYS." Orion bellowed
"The muggles were nice to me.."
He could hear how Sirius' voice was so small, this scared Regulus the most. Even though Sirius was only 9 years old Regulus saw him as his protector, the person who would stand up for him when cousin Bellatrix sneered sinister remarks at him. The person who comforted him when he woke crying from a nightmare.
To hear him weak like this frightened him, the boy he could hear was no longer his brave brother who could pull him out of dreams of murderous grindylows or the boy who put bubble belch potion into Bellatrix's drink. He was a child, scared for his safety.
"I-I don't understand why I cant talk to them, it's not their fault they were born muggles." Sirius whimpered "They're just as smart as us! They told me about eleckytrickity and how they manage without magic!"
Orion stopped yelling abruptly, his voice came out in a threatening rasp, which was all the more terrifying
"Is that what you think?' Orion hissed
"Maybe we haven't done our job of raising you well enough if you think, that for a second, we are not better than those dirty creatures out there! They're of no more worth than a house elf! Maybe I should teach you a lesson the way I ought have done a long time ago!"
"Orion please.. he's only a child.." Walburga was clutching her mouth, with wide eyes and tear stained cheeks. Mirroring Regulus' terrified expression from where he cowered in kreacher's cupboard, clinging to himself and stifling hiccups
"The boy has to learn Walburga! This is how you and I were taught, and generations before us, don't you forget it." He seethed, turning back to the flailing boy on the ground
Walburga looked solemn and nodded stiffly
"WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE REGULUS, HE WOULD NEVER COMMIT SUCH UNSPEAKABLE ACTIONS."
His fathers voice snapped him out of his horrified trance.
Him? When had he ever be noticed by his father? He didn't even think he payed attention to what Regulus did and didn't do. He hated the acknowledgment and relished it at the same time.
Before he knew what he was doing he leapt out the cupboard and slunk through the house to the entrance hall and stopped frozen at the sight.
Sirius looked up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to do something, to stop the man who was meant to love them unconditionally, to stop him from hurting his own flesh and blood.
That was the day Sirius learnt blood meant nothing.
Orion raised his wand and pointed it at him
"You won't even dare look at a Muggle again after this is over." He hissed
It was hopeless, he knew he couldn't do anything.
Regulus looked down at his brother one last time with a sympathetic look, being met with cold silver eyes full of betrayal, before turning away.
'CRUCIO!!' The voice of Orion Black echoed off and absorbed into the horrified walls
The spell was only held for a few seconds, but there were no words to describe Sirius' agonising screams that day.
From then on there were no more parties in Sirius' honor, no more bestowed heirlooms or generous piles of galleons from distant aunts and uncles. From then on Sirius was the shame of the family. Just like uncle Alphard had been disowned just the year before. Except Sirius was still technically the heir, so they couldn't just blast him off the family tree. It would be "improper" and cause drama.
Regulus and Sirius were separated in their studies, their fort torn down and the two were not to consort in any way other than at dinner and out of necessity.
"Mother? Please, why I not allowed to see Sirius?" Regulus had gotten enough courage to inquire weeks after the incident
"I'm sorry, Regulus," Walburga pressed her lips into a tight line and knelt down to face him "he is not to corrupt you as well."
"You understand don't you? My darling boy, you understand why we must not lower our standards so far as to talk to muggles?..."
There it was again, that word, spat out like acid
"Your brother made a dire mistake, I know it seems harsh now but you will understand when you are older and have children of your own. When you have so much precious lineage to protect, like us, we do what we must to make sure we do not lose it. The muggles want to take that history away from us, they think they deserve the same opportunities as us for simply stealing their magic! If we let them have the upper hand they will hunt us down again and no witch or wizard will be spared. No.. no" She shook her head "We cannot let them, Regulus, you know we can't don't you?"
She stroked his hair tenderly, with more affection than he had gotten in years, it felt good. He felt loved for the first time. It provoked him to forget about Sirius, about how he was doing locked in his room alone, barely managing. Because in this house it was eat or be eaten.
So he chose to survive.
He nodded and leaned into her as she wrapped her arms around him. Emotion welled inside of him from this attention he had never experienced before, he decided then on the spot he would do anything to keep from disappointing her as Sirius had done. He convinced himself Sirius was wrong, Sirius had only himself to blame for these consequences. Now Regulus had the chance to prove he could was as good as him, better even.
"You'll be great, won't you Regulus? You have to promise you won't do as he did. You have to promise me. I can't have both my sons taken from me by muggle scum." Her eyes were bright
"Yes mother, I understand. I won't make the same mistakes he did, I'll be better. I'll make you proud."
And he really thought he meant it.
__________________________________
In the two years before Regulus left for hogwarts he grew lonely without his brothers presence. Sure they slept just across the hall from each other but it was like they were two strangers in their own house.
His mother ordered Kreacher, his house elf to be his friend. At first he scoffed at this idea, as if an elf could be anything more than a servant, let alone play a game of chess! It's clawlike fingers would barley be able to clutch the pieces to move them.
But in all honesty Regulus found the companionship of Kreacher comforting. He grew to care for the little elf, the way he tugged his ears when Regulus thanked him, the way he was there to offer a game of gobstones when he woke crying from visions of that day in 1969.
It was an August evening in 1971. Their mother and father were out for a while, going to some "meeting" they'd talked about in hushed whispers, and acting more suspicious than was normal, but Regulus didn't really care enough to ask.
It was just a couple days or so before Sirius would be packing off to Hogwarts, and he was reminded of this fact as he saw the luggage with the initials S.B printed on the side sitting by the front door.
He wondered what it would be like with him gone. 'Probably the same as it's been these last two years' he thought sadly
It wasn't that Regulus necessarily regretted "choosing" his parents over Sirius... it was just that without him he was left without the only things he'd grown to like in the dismal mansion, sure he had Kreacher, but wasn't the same. Kreacher didn't seem to have the ability to speak out of turn, or make the sly humorous remarks like Sirius used to make at family meetings, which would generally send Regulus into a reel of cackling and getting scolded by cousin Narcissa.
But now it had been years since they had talked more than a few words, he knew Sirius blamed him for not standing up for him.
'I would have done it for you!' Sirius said the day they last spoke properly. Regulus knew that Sirius was right. But he wasn't brave, he wasn't as hotheaded as his older brother, and after all, he saw how defying his parents ended.
He was fretting over just that as he made his way down the hall to find Kreacher for a game of gobstones.
"Kreacher?" He summoned
Sirius was just stepping out into the corridor as Kreacher apparated
"Yes, master Regulus? Is master hungry? Would he like Kreacher to fetch master a sandwich?" He simpered
"No Kreacher, would you mind setting up the gobstones in my room? I'll be up in a minute." Regulus said warmly
"Yes Master Regulus, Kreacher will set up Master's gobstone set."
CRACK
Sirius snorted and bristled past Regulus.
"What?" Regulus frowned
"Yes Master Regulus, anything Master Regulus, would you like Kreacher to wipe Master's arse for him?" Sirius mimicked Kreacher's hoarse squeaky voice
Regulus scowled
"At least I have a friend." He said, his anger getting the best of him.
"HAH! That's what you call him? A friend? Grow up reg, he's an elf." He marched away rolling his eyes
His demeanour had changed from being alone so long, the once smug and spritely boy he had know those years ago had become sharp and standoffish, he seemed to act much older than a boy of 11.
It made regulus feel bad. He jumped down the stairs after his brother.
"You're going to Hogwarts soon." He observed, gesturing to the luggage
"Tomorrow." He said bluntly
Regulus was surprised, he thought he had a few days before he left, but then again it wasn't like they were going to go on a grand adventure. They were hardly talking.
"Are you excited?" He trailed after Sirius' heels like a puppy dog
"Can't wait to finally get away from this place." He replied, not slowing down walking to let Regulus catch up
"Oh." Regulus, knew what that meant, he wanted to get away from his family
He didn't know what to say
So instead
"You'll write won't you? You know I'm starting Hogwarts next year as well.. you'll have to write and tell me about school, I heard the Slytherin common room is under the Black lake and there are all sorts of creatures there, like kelpies and mermaids and a maybe even a squid." He talked excitedly, forgetting for a moment everything that had happened. It felt like old times.
Sirius stopped in his tracks and turned round
"I won't be able to find out for you." He said ominously
"What? What do you mean? You are planning on going to Hogwarts aren't you?" Regulus asked
Sirius snorted
"Of course I'm going to Hogwarts, just saying I won't find out if the common room really is under the lake." He said, smirking and walking towards the kitchen
"What do you mean Siri?" Regulus had a quizzical look on his face
"Don't call me that." He scowled and pouted like a toddler, then a grin spread across his face and he lowered his voice.
"I'm not going to Slytherin.." he mused, "I'm going to be sorted into Gryffindor" At that he wiggled his eyebrows
Regulus' eyes grew wide
"How do you mean? I thought you can't pick your house? And why gryffindor? You don't know anyone who's in Gryffindor! And.. and.."
Regulus didn't want to say it, but back when him and Sirius were close, they'd discussed stories of when they'd go to Hogwarts, how they'd join the Slytherin quidditch team together. Sirius fancied himself a beater and Regulus a seeker, they even made a model quidditch pitch using a gobstopper as a snitch. Throwing it up for Regulus to to catch on his broom, that was when he'd done his first bit of accidental magic, by levitating the boiled sweet. He remembered it well because his mother and father were not impressed, stating 'he should have done magic already by now, he's 6 for merlin's sake'
But Sirius congratulated him and managed to get his hands on a bottle of butterbeer from the cellar which they had split. Regulus could almost taste the sweet butterscotch beverage warming him up as he reminisced. So much had changed, and even more was going to change once Sirius left for school. He knew that much from even before they drifted apart, but he'd always thought they'd be in Slytherin house together...
"Andromeda told me that if you really want, you can tell the hat where to put you. She also says she's holding out for another "white sheep" of the Black family, so when she tells everyone her news it doesn't make her the only outcast, I don't know what she meant by that but.."
Sirius drifted off into some chatter about how he couldn't wait to see his favourite cousin at school, and what a shame it was she was in her 7th year when he was just starting his 1st.
"I'll miss you." Regulus blurted
Sirius looked taken back
"Well you won't have time to miss me much, you'll be busy with all the responsibilities of being the favourite child." He said patting Reg on the shoulder.
He didn't say it in a sour way, he said it in a matter-of-fact way, trying to side step an awkward heart felt going away chat with his little brother.
CRACK
Regulus blinked and looked down at the elf
"Master Regulus did not come back upstairs? Is Master ok?" He croaked, eyeing Sirius. "Mistress tells Kreacher the eldest Black boy is not to corrupt Master Regulus, mistress says, eldest boy is filth." He sneered
"Do not call my brother filth! He is as much your master as he is mine." He snapped
Kreacher jumped at this tone
Sirius' lips twitched in the corner gratefully
"I is sorry Master Regulus, Kreacher is sorry Master, Kreacher was only wondering if Master was ready to play with his gobstones." The elf looked near tears
Regulus turned to Sirius
"Do you think.. do you want to play, you know one last time before you leave?" He looked at the floor and twiddled his hands, worried that Sirius would shout at him about betrayal and trust or simply laugh at him, but..
"Yeah." He smiled, sliding an arm around his shoulders as Regulus looked shocked at his reply
It felt just like old times
"I'm so going to win."
"Are not!”