Chapter Text
It wasn’t like how it was back in the 8th. Not anymore. Back then, his overindulgence of sake the night before meant sleeping late into the afternoon till Nanao-chan deemed it necessary to come find him.
Last night, he’d spent a bit of time with Ukitake, toasting his life with just a cup of sake. It had meant to be just one cup but toasting his best friend’s life in front of his memorial slowly spiraled into a full-on imbibing session to forget the reality.
And now, here he was, in his office way before he wanted to be, keeping his eye open by force. Being the Soutaicho took a lot out of him. Especially his sleep. Not to mention his peace of mind.
At least he had Nanao-chan.
“Taichou,” she called out to him, softer than usual. She didn’t hesitate when needed to snap him out of his laziness with a strategic slap from her kido text book but she couldn’t today. Not when she knew where he’d been last night.
They never really spoke of it but Ukitake-Taichou’s death had hit him hard. Now, even ten years or so later, the pain was yet to lessen. She thought it was understandable and perfectly reasonable. You couldn’t stop missing someone who’d been by your side for over a millennia in the matter of decades. So she tried to be softer on him when she could.
“Hmm,” he murmured startled out of his own company.
“You’re here early.”
The shock in her voice made him give her a lazy impertinent smile. “Or I never left.”
She shook her head in disapproval but said no more. Instead, she laid out the mail and some paperwork in front of him before settling down at her own desk to see what was on their agenda for the day.
Most of it were fund requests and what not from divisions for certain projects. There were some formal correspondence addressed to the 1st Division. Among it all was one envelope that caught his eye. For one, it was far too fancy to be just another Squad related missive. It was also addressed to him too casually - “Kyouraku Shunsui” written in an elegant feminine hand with no mention of his title or division in sight. He suspected it to be a hand delivered invitation of some sort so he opened it first.
The contents left his mouth opened in awe.
Dear Shunsui-kun,
Even if I lived a million lives, and felt a million things, I still would’ve fallen a million times for you.
I wish I could forget the distance that lies between us and truly tell you what’s in my heart but…
You are you and I am me, and I don’t know how it all could ever be.
So let me leave my love for you confined to these words and hope some day this distance won’t matter.
That love alone would be enough.
Until then,
With much love,
Your secret admirer.
Nanao glanced up at him. Noticing his strange expression, she almost laughed but her professionalism made her bite it back. “What is it?” she asked calmly.
Startled, he held the paper he was reading to his chest, as if trying to hide its contents. “Nothing!” he told her.
Nanao narrowed her eyes at him, knowing very well that it was not in fact nothing. But she didn’t push further. He seemed excited for some reason, and despite her curiosity, she was reluctant to burst that bubble. She hadn’t seen her Taichou excited - genuinely truly excited - for anything in so long. Not since the Quincy war. He’d lost so much in one single war - his eye, his father figure, his best friend, and his freedom to name just a few. It was a rarity to see him with that mischievous glint in his eye so she let it go.
He stuffed the missive inside the inner pocket of his haori that was usually reserved for sneaking in sake to unacceptable places. “So, how do you want to torture me today, Nanao-chan?” he asked.
She took a pile of forms and dumped them on his desk. “Sign these, Taichou, and I might let you out for lunch.”
“Lunch?” He glanced at the pile in front of him in mock-despair. “It’s barely 8 in the morning! You are mean, Nanao-chan,” he whined.
She ignored him mostly, and concentrated on her own work while he whined on and off. They were used to this dynamic. It felt familiar in a world full of responsibilities and burdens.
As Shunsui mindlessly lazed over the paperwork, his thoughts kept drifting to the letter he had received. Even though he’d only read it once, he could remember it word to word. And he kept wondering who it could be - this secret admirer.
The letter smelled of lemon and books. The script elegant and neat. Definitely a woman. He was certain of it. But as much as he thought of it, he couldn’t come to a clear conclusion who it could be.
The next one came a few days later - almost a week had gone by. It was left on the window sill he usually napped on when he could and was the first thing he saw the moment he arrived back from lunch seeking his favorite nap spot to take in some afternoon sun.
Nanao was scribbling away at something at her own desk, oblivious to his shock and dilemma. He quickly walked up to it and opened it as quickly as he could without tearing it in the haste.
This time, the contents actually made him gasp.
Nanao looked at him with a strange expression on her face, so he quickly schooled his expression to one of normalcy.
“Taichou?” she inquired.
“Who was in the office after I went to lunch?”
She found his question strange but answered nonetheless. “I was here for a bit, waiting on some paperwork from the 13th. Then I went out to get lunch myself. I got back just a few minutes before you did, actually.”
“Was this here when you left?” He held up the letter, now carefully folded once more.
“Uh. I’m not sure. I suppose I didn’t notice it. Why? What is it?” she asked.
“Oh nothing. Just wondering…don’t mind me,” he said, dismissing it casually. Too casually. “I’m going for a walk.”
“Taichou, you just got back.”
“Well, I’m going again. See you in a bit, Nanao-chan!” he said cheerily, sauntering out before she could stop him.
Once at the tree under which he usually sought his solitude, he settled down and re-read the letter.
Dear Shunsui,
Sometimes, I wish I was the sun, so I may linger upon your skin.
I wish I was the sake you sip, so I may kiss upon your lips, with none the wiser to our love.
To let my body drown in yours under the moonlight, to love you endlessly in anyway you’d let me.
I yearn for you. You could never know just how much I wish you were truly mine, nor how much I wish I was forever yours.
Love,
Your secret admirer.
Unlike the one before, this was more serious and sensual. His secret admirer was attempting to seduce him with her words.
It was working, he realized, as his mind instantly went to thinking of slow lovemaking under the moonlit sky on a crisp summer night. Perhaps under this very tree, away from prying eyes. The thought had him adjusting his hakama unconsciously as his body responded.
Who was she? he asked himself, uselessly. And he vowed to himself that he would find her out. But in the meantime, he decided to enjoy being romanced and seduced by an ardent admirer.
After all, it wasn’t every day that Soutaicho got sensual love letters…
…to be continued.