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There was nothing worse than a stolen prize.
Erron Black had tracked down the location of a high paying bounty, only to enter the home and find someone else standing over the target's passed out body slumped in a chair. The figure was tall, a green poncho doing little to hide his toned physique or his weaponry. But Erron was also fit and armed with guns, and he wasn't going to let all of his work getting there become all for naught.
"Hands off," he demanded, making his presence known to the other bounty hunter.
As he looked over his victim, the poncho-wearing man scoffed at Erron's words. "No need to be some hero. The guy's wanted, and he's getting what he deserves. Leave me to my work." The man then turned to face Erron, looking rather annoyed to be interrupted. At least, he looked as annoyed as he possibly could. His head was made out of pancakes, expressions limited to what his simple eyes could convey.
Erron was caught off-guard by this human-food combination, but his focus remained on the money he was losing. He quickly responded with rising anger, "I know who he is; I know he's wanted. That's why I'll be the one turning him in for the reward."
"Am I not the one who knocked him out?" the pancake man asked. "The bounty is mine, fair and square. Besides, I don't think you'll want to try me." After he finished tying the captive's limbs, he calmly gestured to one of his guns.
Erron wasn't frightened off in the slightest. "I didn't spend a week hunting down this fool only for you to take my gold!"
"It was anyone's gold, and I happened to earn it first. A pity you wasted your time, but I've gotta pay for syrup somehow. I shouldn't really have to explain that I'm here to take care of myself and not you, do I, Shortstack?"
"That's Mr. Black to you," Erron sternly introduced himself. He never thought of himself as short, so this pancake entity pointing out how he was taller than the cowboy made Erron feel oddly insecure. He tried to straighten his posture to lessen the height difference without being too obvious.
"Okay, white boy," the other outlaw seemed to joke as he slung the unconscious body over his shoulder to turn in. "Better luck next time, but the better man always wins. Get used to it."
"More like the butter man, you pancake freak," Erron tried to insult the ominous being, but his words fell on deaf ears. The pancake man was quickly gone, leaving the cowboy alone to grumble at the loss of his goal. This other gunslinger had a lot of nerve to rub it into Erron's face. He wasn't going to let him get away with it if they ever met again.
Erron's blood boiled for days as he continued searching for other sources of money. He was employed and didn't urgently need extra koins, but he was a thrill-seeker; he liked the excitement of chasing down bounties and getting into fights even when unnecessary. And the thought of dishing out a brutality to that big flapjack as revenge sounded very appealing...
So, he was both pleased and displeased when he went hunting down the next wanted criminal and found the other outlaw holding a smoking gun over the guy's bloodied body. Displeased to have lost another fortune. Pleased to have a chance to rectify these wrongdoings and get further justice.
"Shouldn't have made the same mistake twice," he warned the pancake man, pointing his revolver at him threateningly.
The other fellow raised an eyebrow at Erron and sighed. "Well, you just don't quit it, do you?"
"Neither do you, apparently," Erron retorted. "Who even are you?"
"Why do you care so much? I'm just here to do a job."
"I want to know who's stealing all the plunder in my turf. I'm the one who collects bounties around here. Not whatever the hell you are," Erron sneered, waving his fingers at the other man's mutant body.
He looked back at Erron steadily, one hand on his hip. "They call me Mancake. And since you're so keen on getting all up in my business, I'll let you know that I'm only making sure I can afford to keep feeding my habits while I'm passing through this area. Normally I just steal for my gold, but being unfamiliar with the laws of this weird place, I figured I should play it a little more safe. Be grateful I'm not robbing you for getting into my business. You're not worth another arrest warrant."
Erron Black? Not worth it? That was far more insulting than just mentioning his shorter height, and Erron wasn't going to stand for it.
"Stealing all the work is one thing. Treating me like a lame horse is a worse one," he growled, stomping up to Mancake with a fist raised to punch his lights out. But Erron hadn't even started to wind back his swing before Mancake pushed his shoulder and caused the cowboy to fall backwards with little effort.
He laid there in a bit of a daze, so shocked that he had been knocked over so easily. Mancake begin walking over him to leave the room, but paused over Erron's body. The two met eyes for a few quiet moments until Mancake said in an almost mocking tone, "Stay out of my face. You're asking for trouble." With that, he was gone again.
Erron was so mad.
They didn't cross paths again for a while, but he still couldn't get the image of that smug, syrupy head out of his mind. Why did he have to be so great at what he did and look so cool while doing it? Erron was being bested by a stack of pancakes in thigh high boots that were far too fashionable for the outskirts of Outworld. There wasn't going to be any fun left to had if Mancake kept taking it from him.
Erron was jealous. He wanted everything that Mancake had. And he found himself ranting about it to Kotal next time they were together.
"I don't get it, Kotal! Why can't I get this idiot off my mind? I should be able to forget about him and move on, but it's like he's haunting me. Whispering in the back of my mind about how I'll never get as good as him. What does such a stupid creature like him have to be so great for, anyway?!"
"Hmm. Almost sounds like you're in love with the man," the Kahn suggested.
"What in tarnation?! Full offense, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say, Kotal. I hate that clown! How could I be in love with him? Besides, it'd be gay," Erron said like an annoying ten year old boy who would call anything he didn't like "gay."
But Kotal Kahn would be fully supportive of Erron crushing on some pancake man. Kotal may have been slightly racist, but at least he wasn't a homophobe. That wouldn't be good business when he had always had a sense that his three closest confidants had some homosexual tendencies. At least Ermac definitely had to have been made of at least one gay soul. That would explain why he would mention that Earthrealm TV show so much, RuPaul's Drag Race or whatever it was. Kotal wasn't really sure what it was all about. Men in makeup racing each other? Odd, but whatever made Ermac happy...
And Kotal wanted Erron to be happy too, so he offered some surprisingly wise words to his friend. "I don't see why any of that would stop you. I thought you liked living outside the norms of society."
Erron sighed. "Damn. You have a point. Loving a pancake man who's ruining my life is the most chaotic thing I could possibly do right now. And I do love chaos."
"I think it's more than just you loving chaos. Your rants about this Mancake seem almost adoring."
The idea seemed preposterous -- what was there to adore about the man stealing all of Erron's side gigs? At the same time, there was something to admire in Mancake's confidence. His strength. His fashion sense. The way he filled the air with the smell of warm, sweet, homemade pancakes...
Mancake did make Erron feel hungry. And not just his stomach, but his heart. Deep down, he didn't want to compete with the other outlaw; he wanted to be respected by him. He didn't want to feel those strong arms pushing him away, but pulling him close instead. It didn't make sense by any normal reasoning, but Kotal was right. Deeper than his anger, Erron was attracted to his new rival.
He had to chase the pancake down again. And not to attempt to beat him up this time.
With some digging and bribery, Erron quickly got a lead on where the other outlaw might be. He saw him in the distance, a familiar silhouette. Erron immediately called out for him to stop walking away. "Mancake!"
Mancake paused and silently chuckled with a shake of his shoulders. "Well, I'm just your huckleberry, aren't I, Mr. Black? Stop trying to start trouble with me. You should just lie low until I'm outta town, save your energy. I'll even help you out and start walking away first."
"Hold on, hombre! You aren't walking away that easy this time!"
The pancake man shrugged. "Watch me," he replied with a nonchalant confidence, continuing on his way. If Erron tried picking a fight with him, he was certain that he would win. Mancake thought that Erron surely knew this as well, and figured he would just stand there seething as Mancake walked away instead of daring to challenge him to a duel.
But Erron wasn't looking for a fight. He was looking for something else. He took a rope that was hanging at his side, quickly fashioning a knot and twirling it like a lasso. With an accurate toss, Mancake's arms were pinned against his skinny hips. Completely unexpecting to be lassoed, his large white eyes widened in surprise. He didn't move, curious what Erron would bother trying to do next.
Erron began pulling the rope in, Mancake willingly stepping backwards towards the other man so he wouldn't be pulled over. Once Mancake was close enough, Erron spun him around and said, "You know why you aren't getting away? Because I ain't the kind of person who gives up on what I want, Mancake. And I've realized what I really want... You."
"Oh really, Mr. Black? Be more specific," he responded in his low, buttery voice, as if taunting Erron.
Erron swallowed nervously. He hadn't thought about what he would do if Mancake actually seemed keen on the idea of getting together too. But Erron never let uncertainty hold him back, so he made his intentions fully clear. "They say keep your friends close but your enemies closer, and boy do I want you close. I want your loving, Mancake. I want to know what it's like in your arms, and I want to kiss your syrupy face--"
"You want my loving? Say less." Mancake suddenly flexed his muscles to break free of the rope that bound him. "I always thought you were a little cute, Shortstack. I'm happy to oblige."
As Erron stared in shock and awe, Mancake put his gloved hands on the smaller man's face and brought his lip-like pancakes to Erron's real lips. The cowboy never thought that ever having his face submerged in maple syrup could be so wonderful. The fluffy pancake texture that pressed against him was so soft and inviting. Erron thought he could die happy in such a sensation.
Not wanting it to end, his hands held onto Mancake's waist, and the waffle-like pattern of abs he could feel underneath his shirt were a delight to behold. His last ex's abs were hardly as defined, Erron noted. It was hardly a dealbreaker, just a reason that Mancake was better. Or perhaps even best. Erron definitely wished that he hadn't wasted time not doing this sooner. He needed to remember to thank Kotal for helping him realize his feelings.
The kiss soon ended since Mancake wasn't particularly interested in the act, as he didn't have any lips to actually feel Erron's with. Regardless, he liked having Erron's adoration and wanted to keep him around. So, he made a suggestion while staring deep into Erron's brown eyes. "Two outlaws can do more than one. Let's work together and get rich."
"Getting lots of gold and being with you? That's the best offer I've ever had the pleasure of hearing."
Erron's crooked smile did something to make Mancake's heart swell with affection. "You're almost convincing me to stick around this place. Or maybe you can come with me back to my world, Mr. Black."
"Call me Erron now," he finally introduced his first name. "And I don't care where we go. As long as I'm having fun with you."
"Oh, we'll have fun, Erron," Mancake promised. And with that, they rode off into the sunset on a horse that conveniently appeared near them. It was the beginning of an epic love tale between two outlaws...
Erron was going to have syrup in his hair for weeks, if not a lifetime, but it was so worth it.