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The clock read 4:39 a.m. and Satoru Gojo couldn’t sleep.
The root of his insomnia wasn’t rational, not anymore, now that everything was over (as much as it could be over in the world of jujutsu). Still the whole situation and its miraculous absurdity left a bittersweet aftertaste. It was unbearable lying there, knowing full well what had almost happened, yet didn’t.
Gojo sighed. This wouldn’t do. If he wasn’t going to sleep, he might’ve as well gone and checked up on Nanami. Just for the sake of it, because he could.
Quietly opening the door, he stepped out to the hallway, greeted by the cold light of the moon. These days, Satoru knew the route by hard, and so, going as if on autopilot, he let himself get lost in the thoughts.
Throughout all those years, Nanami remained one of a few constants in Gojo’s life in one way or another. It was weird, how the latter hadn’t noticed that before. Indisputability of it was even weirder, considering the life paths they chose in their early adulthood. While, for instance, it was only logical for Satoru to keep in touch with Shoko, as they never actually left the sight of each other, it was different with Nanami. He tried to escape the jujutsu world, but it seemed Kento could never really escape yours truly Gojo Satoru. Yet, as some might’ve thought, it wasn’t like Gojo had actively tried to pursue him. Well, not as actively as he could’ve anyway. It seemed that wherever they went, they would’ve always met again, be it by the coincidence, impulsivity or, as of later, aspiration. The most peculiar thing however, at least for Gojo, was the lack of resentment from Nanami’s side. He claimed to have no respect for Satoru, but then they would sit in a bar with Gojo blabbering about something stupid, and Nanami, as much as he tried to hide it, would listen nonetheless. In rare cases, when Satoru said something unexpectedly witty and not just taunting, Kento would smile. Okay, maybe not actually smile, since he almost quit this habit in his second year in Jujutsu Tech, but it would be something close. And, to Gojo’s horror, this half-assed resemblance of a smile did something to his heart, which no gesture that small should’ve.
Gojo exhaled as he approached another door. This was the hardest part. He slowly reached to the doorknob, when suddenly there were a loud thump coming from the inside. Immediately tensing, Gojo opened the door in a matter of seconds. He should’ve been more attentive, what if...
“Gojo-sensei!” Itadori said, then, remembering what time it was, continued in a lower voice, “What are you doing here?”
“I think I’m supposed to ask that,” Satoru looked around the room. Near Yuuji there was a chair, lying on its side. Gojo smiled, “Did you just fell?”
Yuuji pouted, scratching his head, “I might’ve accidentally fallen asleep”.
“When what about you go to your room and fall asleep on purpose?”
“No way!” Itadori raised his voice again, when shuddered and turned around to check on the sleeping figure beside him, “What if he wakes up, while I’m not here?”
“What if he wakes up and sees you tired as hell?” At this Yuuji must’ve pictured Nanami’s disappointed frown, as he seemed to reconsider his actions.
Satoru chuckled. “Yes, exactly. Let’s do like this: go to your room and I’ll call for you, when Nanami wakes up”.
Itadori sighed and grumbled, “Deal,” but, before making his way out, the boy locked his eyes with Satoru, “take care, okay?”
With that he exited the room. Gojo pursed his lips. The way Yuuji looked at him, expectedly, even appraisingly, was something new. He looked more mature, or, rather, cynical. Shit. Nanami was going to kill Gojo for letting this happen.
Speaking of which. As Satoru’s gaze moved to the bed, he was instantly met with a pair of eyes looking back. Or, well, a pair was an overstatement.
The silence that was comforting before now felt suffocating. They stared at each other, both as if searching for something, before Nanami spoke.
“Satoru. You’re back”.
Satoru, huh. Well, that escalated quickly. Wait... “Are you high?” Gojo raised his brows.
“I know you’re joking, but I kinda might be. Considering that my left arm feels like shit and looks like...” Nanami raised it, seemingly surprised by its charred condition, “...this... Well, it would be reasonable for Shoko to give me painkillers or something”.
Gojo hummed, mentally cursing himself for the comment. He sat at the foot of Nanami’s bed, trying to act nonchalant. “My, then why didn’t you tell me you were so talkative when stoned?”
Kento didn’t buy it. “Are you avoiding something?” a suspicious glint flicked behind his eye, then, panic, “Is everyone all right? Wait, is Yuuji...”
“Hey, shush,” Gojo pressed his hands on Nanami’s shoulders, grounding, “he’s okay. Everyone else... Well, everyone you know... Yaga, First years, Ino, Shoko as you can see. They are alive. Just... How do you feel?”
“Like I came back from the dead, which... I guess I did,” Gojo swallowed at these words.
There was a pause.
“Was it...”
“Itadori? Yea, his doing, thank him later”.
Instinctively, Satoru lifted his hand, brushing Nanami’s hair off of his face. It looked... Different. In place of the left eye there was now a carefully patched skin. Gojo felt something twist in his gut, making him want to cry and break something at the same time.
“That bad?” Kento asked, his face pensive.
“As if,” Satoru almost squeezed out a reassuring smile. “I was told scars adorn a man. Besides, you could always steal one of Nobara’s cool eyepatches and...”
“She lost an eye?”
“Oh, um,” god he was so bad at this, “Yes”.
They both sighed. Gojo was not used to greet people coming back from the afterlife. Although, as it had turned out, maybe he should’ve been. Nothing seemed normal any more. Not like it ever did to begin with, yet before he wouldn’t have gotten so worked up about something like this. That was the world they lived in. Death came sooner rather than later, and still Nanami managed to escape it. He was here, with him. Safe.
Nanami’s right hand moved to take Gojo’s own, tugging by it, so that they were both now laying on the bed, like it was the most natural thing to do in given circumstances. The way that Nanami tried to put his left arm further away, made Gojo uneasy, so he carefully took both of the younger’s hands in his own, as though to empathise that the sight didn’t gross him out even in the slightest.
Moreover, it was somewhat peculiar. Never would’ve Gojo thought that the scars could make a person look more vulnerable. Rather foolishly, but he’d always associated them with some sort of gamble, as if there was an epic story behind those. However now, holding Nanami’s hands it became clear how wrong he was. Kento’s left arm seemed so fragile, as if made from an already cracked marble.
“You’re thinking too loud,” Nanami chuckled, making Gojo stare in surprise.
“Am not! In fact, I don’t think at all, so don’t worry”.
“Good to know that at least didn’t change while I was gone”. Gone. The word felt heavy, despite how easily Nanami had said it.
“Hey,” Kento reached his hand out to cup Satoru’s cheek. The painkillers must’ve been really good, or, less likely if you’d asked Gojo, Nanami was actually happy to see him. “I’m sorry I’ve scared you. Frankly, I kind of scared myself. And I still don’t understand exactly what happened, but if everyone’s okay, I guess this couldn’t be too bad”.
“As I said, everything’s fine,” Gojo mumbled. “Don’t say you’re sorry, what scared me is how courteous you are all of a sudden”.
Nanami smiled (did he have to be on the verge of death to do it?), closing his eyes and drawing Gojo closer. They stayed like this for a while too long, making Satoru suspect that Nanami had fallen asleep again, however this wasn’t the case. Slowly, the latter opened his eye, looking straight at Gojo and spoke in a tone far too tender for Satoru to be on the receiving end of it.
“Whatever happened to me, I’m sure it’s not your fault”.
And that was so unfair of him to say. Gojo’s brows furrowed. “That’s not... that’s not why... God, I mean, if my fault was in keeping you... everyone... alive and in pieces I would gladly take it. It’s not that I want to remove the responsibility. I just... I just wish you didn’t have to suffer, neither for my sake, nor for anybody else’s”.
Nanami looked at him somewhat bemused. “Are you sure I’m the stoned one? This is not what I meant, and more so I’d never accuse you of this. You might show it in your own way, but it’s not that hard to see how genuinely caring you are”.
“Oh, come on now, first thing you do after waking up, is worry about the others. You, Nanami Kento,” Gojo mastered a weak smirk, pointing a finger to the other’s chest, “really are a big softy”.
“Then that makes the two of us”.
At this Gojo fully snorted. “Hell no, you are high as a kite, and here I was, promising Yuuji to get him up when you wake up”.
“Clearly, that’s one of those promises you shouldn’t keep,” Nanami’s face softend.
That was it. Gojo couldn’t take it anymore. “Can I hug you?” words left his mouth before he could register them.
“Huh?” Nanami looked around, making a point at their already very much close proximity.
“I mean,” Gojo let go of Kento’s hand, wrapping one of the arms around the latter’s back and the other finding its way to his shoulders, “like this. I’ll be careful”.
Nanami breathed out, visibly relaxing even more. “I know,” he said, drifting off to sleep.
Gojo tried to stay awake as long as possible, slowly stroking Nanami’s hair. And that was a fatal mistake, really, since the movement seemed to smooth Satoru himself as he soon could no longer fight the urge to close his eyes.
Whatever this feeling was, it felt like home.