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Buck was having a bad day. If Eddie was being honest, his husband had a bad couple of weeks so far.
When he came home from work, Carla told him that Evan was having a bad day and currently taking a nap in their bed.
When Eddie entered the bedroom, he found his husband asleep in the middle of their bed, laying on his left side facing the door. Eddie looked down at his napping husband and gently carded his fingers through the blond curls.
They thought that after his bad fall three weeks before, that resulted in a trip to the hospital and Buck meeting the 118, that they would catch a break. The cortisone had helped his inflamed optic nerve and the rest of his ailments, but Buck still had trouble with his vision. The stiches on his temple were removed last week and he needed another MRI.
Buck had trouble walking since his fall. His right side was more “on fire” than normal. Buck always has Paresthesia or commonly known as tingling on his right side. Mostly his right arm and leg, sometimes the right side of his face. Buck was so used to it, that sometimes he doesn’t even notice it anymore. But when he’s having a bad day or an acute attack, it gets worse.
Buck’s neurologist found new lesions in his MRI, which explained his Ataxia. His speech slurred slightly and he had trouble speaking, also he had gait abnormality. His right leg was weakened from the lesions. His doctor said it could resolve itself over time as the lesions lessened, but it could be possible that the weakened leg would be permanent. He was fitted with a leg brace that went from mid-thigh to the middle of his shin and was currently being ignored on their dresser.
Buck refused to wear it, which they argued about for a week now. It was getting incredibly frustrating.
His husband started to stir and snuffled adorably. Eddie couldn’t help himself and bent down to kiss Evan’s forehead.
“Hmmmm, hey, you-you’re home.” Buck whispered, his eyes still closed. He turned his head and puckered his lips for a proper kiss, which the older man gladly gave him.
“H-how was-was work?”
“Stressful. A couple of car accidents, a house fire and a cat that got stuck in a tree.”
Buck laughed at that.
“Chimney tried to get her out but the cat didn’t like him, so she went further up the tree.” Eddie told him and still laughed about that. “So I went instead and got her out. It was pretty hilarious.”
“Hmmm.” That was Buck’s answer for a lot of things these days. Eddie sighed and Buck tried to turn away from him.
“Hey, don’t do that. Don’t turn away.” Eddie said softly and turned Buck’s head back to him. He caressed his husband’s cheek gently.
“Listen to me, baby, this is not permanent. You heard the doc. The trouble speaking will resolve itself. You’ve already gotten better.”
A lone tear made his way down Buck’s cheek, which Eddie gently wiped away.
“I-I just wa-want it t-t-t-to stop. All…of it.” Buck rarely complained about his MS, but after the fall and him getting knocked down with the new lesions, he was at the end of his rope.
“I know, sweetheart and if I could, I would take it, so you wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. But you’re a fighter, Evan, you never give up. Never have and never will.” Eddie said insistently. “What is your motto, Lieutenant Commander Diaz?”
Buck gave him a pained smile. It took him a couple of tries before he whispered slowly
“The only easy day was yesterday.”
“That’s right. I know yesterday was just as bad as today. But this will pass. Like everything else you endured in the last two years.”
Eddie noticed that Buck’s leg was shaking again. His husband was grunting in pain.
Eddie felt so helpless. If he could, he would take Evan’s MS from him, but he couldn’t. And it was driving him insane, seeing the love of his life like this.
Eddie looked at the brace again.
“Evan.”
“N-N-No.”
“You heard what the doctor said. You will walk better with the brace...” Eddie paused and took a deep breath for what he was about to say next. “…and a cane.”
Buck gave him a glare. If looks could kill, Eddie would’ve dropped dead on the spot. He struggled to sit up.
“Baby, stop. Stop!” Eddie raised his voice.
Buck tried to speak but he looked so angry that he couldn’t form the words he wanted to say. And that made him angrier. But Eddie already knew what his husband was trying to say. That he was not an invalid.
“Evan, please stop doing that.” Now Eddie had tears in his eyes. “Why won’t you use the brace and a cane? It supposed to help you and not make you look weak or like an invalid. Is that what you’re trying to tell our son?”
Eddie knew it was a low blow, but he was out of arguments. Buck’s face crumbled and let out a heart wrenching sob. Eddie lay down beside Buck and took him in his arms. He gently caressed his back.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m just trying to help you. The cane does not make you look weak or old. It’s just temporary and it’s helping you keep your balance and walk. I don’t want you to fall and crack your head open again.” Eddie said. Buck still sniffled and hiccupped. He felt his husband nod against his neck.
There was a soft knock on the door and then heard it open. Christopher’s head peeked in.
“Are you guys okay?”
Eddie turned around to his son.
“Your daddy could use one of your special hugs, buddy.”
Christopher came further into the room and carefully leaned his crutches against their bed. He had a card tucked under his armpit, which he put on the nightstand. He held his arms up and Eddie picked him up and positioned him between himself and Buck.
Christopher, ever the sweet child, scooted into his daddy’s front and put his arm around him in a tight hug. The boy’s head tucked into his daddy’s neck, one arm caressed his neck, while the other caressed his father’s back.
Buck heaved a big sigh. A hug from his child never failed to calm him down and bring his world back into perspective.
“You’re okay, kid. Let the magic float right into you. Don’t fight it.” Christopher whispered.
Eddie and Buck let out a laugh.
“Wow, h-ho-how do y-y-you do th-that, baby? Are ye’ a wizard, Ha-Harry?” Buck asked and Christopher started to giggle. The boy was obsessed with Harry Potter.
“The magic of Gryffindor.”
“B-But yo-you’re a Raven-Ravenc-claw.”
“I know, but you’re a Gryffindor. You’re brave and courageous, like Harry.” Christopher said sweetly.
Buck’s eyes watered again.
“I made you a card.”
Eddie turned around and got the card from the nightstand and handed it to Buck.
On the front were Christopher and Buck. Chris with his crutches and Buck with a brace on his leg. Both had beaming smiles on their faces. On the bottom he wrote “The Di-aid-s Boys”
Buck laughed at the card and then he opened it. He read what his son wrote and let out a sob and a laugh at the same time.
“Em-Brace your inner weirdo!
Stay locked and loaded.
You’re going to crutch it!
Love, Christopher ♥ ”
Eddie peeked at the card and started to laugh. He always made fun of Buck’s weird obsession with random facts and his research binges.
“When did you become so sassy, mijo?” Eddie asked. His son was full of puns today.
The boy shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a punny guy.”
Buck burst out laughing. He laughed so hard that he had tears streaming down his face. That set off Christopher and Eddie.
When Carla came into the room to see what the ruckus was all about, she couldn’t help but take out her phone and snap a picture of the trio.
***
The next day, Eddie told the crew about Buck’s struggles and Christopher’s card. They were in the loft, chilling on the sofas. TV on a random documentary about meteoroids.
“I just don’t know how to convince him to use a cane. It’s not like I’m forcing him into a wheelchair. We know that is inevitable someday. But even Chris uses one occasionally.”
“Maybe it shouldn’t look like a typical medically used cane.” Hen said.
“What do you mean?” Eddie asked.
“You know there are different kind of walking aids. One that look like crutches with three legs. But those are bulky. When Selma Blair was diagnosed, she got a fancy walking cane with her initials on it. Maybe we need to pimp the cane up a bit.”
Bobby came over with a bowl of sliced apples. Everyone reached for a slice.
“We have the weekend off and Athena and I are hosting our traditional BBQ. On Saturday, 6 p.m. sharp. Bring Evan and Christopher.”
Before Eddie could accept, the bell rang.
***
On Saturday was the first day that Buck’s speech was back to normal. The Paresthesia wasn’t so bad anymore. His right side still tingled more than usual, but Buck managed. His leg was still weak and his balance still was shot, so was his gait, but Buck remained stubborn about the cane.
Christopher was in his room getting ready, so were Buck and Eddie in their room.
“Why are you being so stubborn about this, carino? Just wear the brace, please?”
Eddie looked at his pouting husband. He would’ve laughed if he weren’t so serious about it.
The older man kneeled in front of Buck and helped the man into his shoes and tied the laces.
“Remember the last time I was in this position?” Eddie asked quietly.
“You mean last night, when you gave me a blowjob?”
Eddie pinned Evan with a look.
“No. You were stationed in Hawaii and I came to visit you. We were on the beach in Waikiki at sunset. You had your face turned towards the ocean and your eyes were closed. You looked so serene. So beautiful and I just knew. I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Eddie leaned forward and rested his forehead against Buck’s. Their eyes filling with tears.
“That was one of the best days of my life.” Buck whispered.
“Carino, tell me why you won’t wear the brace.”
“You will see me differently.” Buck whispered after a while.
“I fished a bullet out of your ass cheek in Afghanistan.” They both laughed wetly at that memory.
“Evan, there is nothing in this world that will make me see you differently. You should know that by now. You’re still the most beautiful and strongest man that I fell in love with twelve years ago. That will never change. You are the love of my life.” Eddie said reverently. Buck nodded and tried to hold the tears at bay. “Please, wear at least the brace. For me.”
Buck looked in Eddie’s eyes. He sniffed and nodded his head.
“Okay.”
Eddie nodded at got the brace. He helped Buck into it and fastened the straps.
“Thank you.” Eddie kissed Evan softly on the mouth.
“I love you, carino.” Eddie caressed Buck’s nose with the back of his index finger.
“I love you too, babe.”
Buck smiled adoringly at his handsome husband.
***
They arrived at the Grant-Nash house at six p.m. on the dot. Christopher was walking in front of them, while Eddie and Buck slowly followed. Buck’s arm was tucked into his husband’s, so the older man could help him walk. The brace did help Buck a lot, but the younger man would be damned if he told Eddie that.
Eddie also carried a homemade bowl of chocolate mousse with strawberries in his other arm.
Christopher rang the doorbell and it was opened a couple of seconds later by Athena.
“Hey, guys. We’re so glad you could make it. Come in.”
Athena ushered them all in and took the bowl with the dessert from Eddie’s arm.
“Athena, this is my husband Buck and our son Christopher. Chris, Buck, this is Athena. Bobby’s wife.”
Buck shook Athena’s hand. “It’s so nice to meet you, Athena. I heard a lot about you.”
“Only good things I hope. I heard a lot about you too, Buck. I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Buck nodded in thanks.
Next Athena turned her attention to Christopher. “Christopher, you came at the right time. My son Harry is trying to play Quidditch in the backyard. Why don’t you see if he needs a hand with the Bludgers.”
Christopher turned around in excitement and looked at his dads.
“Go ahead, mijo. Don’t be the golden snitch and get lost.”
Christopher giggled. “I make no promises.”
The parents shake their heads fondly as they watched their son hurrying into to the backyard.
Buck and Eddie followed in a more sedate pace. Eddie helped Evan down the stairs and everyone greeted the couple. A couple of more introductions were made.
Buck met Karen, Michael and Michaels boyfriend David.
Eddie deposited Buck into a comfy looking chair on the deck. He gave him a kiss and went in search of a drink for his husband.
Conversation flowed easy between the adults. Hen and Chimney asked about Buck’s head, after they treated his fall, three weeks prior. Buck in turn thanked them for their help that day.
He also wanted to know how the date went between Chimney and Maddie. But neither of them were dishing, only blushing. Maddie sadly couldn’t make it to the BBQ, she had to cover a shift for Josh.
They all asked again, how Buck and Eddie met and Buck told the story on how they fell in love. He told them about his time in the SEALS, the crazy things that happened and how Buck and Eddie managed to stay together for so long.
“Babe, help me up please, I need to stretch my legs.” Eddie stood up and helped Evan to his feet.
“Here, take my hand.” Eddie reached his hand out, but Buck slapped it away.
“No, let me try to walk on my own. At least when I fall on my face, there is already help here. No need to call my sister.”
Buck’s steps were slow and deliberate and everyone was holding their breaths. The conversations picked up again as Buck reached Bobby, who was manning the grill.
“How you doing, son?” Bobby asked as he flipped the burgers.
“I’m doing alright. Could be better, but I’m not complaining. Eddie told me that you give him cooking lessons at the station.”
“Well I try. Eddie burned water yesterday.” They both laugh. “I don’t even know how he did it.”
“In the SEALS we always say “The only easy day was yesterday”.” They laughed again. “But thank you, Bobby, for teaching him. Maybe you and Athena could come over for dinner sometimes. I’ve been told you’re the next Guy Fieri and I always up for new recipes.”
“Well, whoever told you that is exaggerating. But Athena and I would love to come to dinner.”
They chatted for a moment longer, but Buck was getting tired. His tingling increased again and he turned around to walk back to his chair.
Eddie watched Buck’s every move and saw the moment his husband stumbled. He shot up and before Buck could hit the ground, Eddie caught him. There were gasp all around and Buck tried to hide his blush in Eddie’s neck.
“It’s okay. You’re okay.” Eddie whispered in Buck’s ear. “Come on, let’s get you to your chair.”
With an arm around his husband’s waist, Eddie lead Buck back to his chair. He lowered his husband carefully and Buck rubbed his trembling thigh, refusing to look up.
“Buck…” Athena started.
“I’m fine. I just didn’t lift my foot properly. Happens all the time.” Buck shrugged.
“What about a walking aid?” Hen asked gently.
“Nah, I don’t need that. I just need to lift my feet properly.”
“I would like to try something. Come with me.” Hen got up and held out a hand for Buck.
Buck looked at Eddie, who nodded at him to go ahead. The younger man sighed and got up with Eddie’s help.
Hen took Buck’s arm and led him inside away from prying eyes.
Eddie looked at their retreating backs anxiously.
“If anyone can convince him to use a cane, it’s Hen.” Karen said confidently.
“I hope your right.”
He knew the 118 got his husband a custom made cane. It looked bad ass.
Inside Hen and Buck made their way to Athena’s bedroom for some privacy.
“So I’m at your mercy, Hen. Do your worst.” Buck said as he sat on Athena’s bed.
“Did you know that I’m currently in med school?” Hen asked and went around the bed to get the gift they all got for Buck.
“Really? I thought you were a paramedic.”
“I am. Before that I was a pharmaceutical rep. After I lost a patient to improper care when we delivered him to the hospital, I decided to apply to med school.”
Hen came around the bed again with Buck’s wrapped gift. The young man eyed it suspiciously.
“Eddie had nothing to do with this.” Hen said, as if she could read his mind. “He told us about your aversion to the cane. I thought, maybe you think you’re too young for a cane. That only old people use it. But you’re wrong-“
“Hen, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But I don’t need a cane. I can walk.”
“Why are you so against it?” Hen wanted to know.
“If I accept defeat, then the MS wins. And I can’t let that happen. It has already taken so much from me. I won’t let it get my mobility. I’ll be damned if I give up now.”
Tears threatened to fall down Buck’s cheeks.
“You don’t give up, Buck. You fight. Everyone can see that. And just because you need the cane now, doesn’t mean you need it in two weeks or three. It’s an aid. Like Carla. Eddie is worried about you. He’s afraid you will fall again and hurt yourself more.”
Buck looked sharply at Hen and guiltily.
“He won’t talk about it with us. Not yet. We don’t know him well enough for him to come to us. He only told us about the cane.”
Hen opened the gift and handed Buck his custom made cane. It was in different shades of green, like the fatigues he wore back in the day. The SEAL motto was carved into the wood. On the handle was a tiny SEAL Trident etched in.
Tears spilled down Buck’s cheek.
“Just try it for me, please, Buck. See how you walk with it. It’s just us in here.”
Buck bit his lip and thought about what Hen said. He took a deep breath, set the cane down and stood up. Without Hen’s help.
He steadied himself and took a couple of tentative steps. He walked slowly around in Athena’s bedroom, getting the hang of walking with the cane.
“How does it feel?” She asked.
“It’s okay, I guess.” He walked by a mirror and stared at his reflection.
Hen could see the cogs turning in his head. Buck’s sight always went from the cane and back up again.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Hen asked.
“You win. It doesn’t look so bad. In fact, this cane looks bad ass.”
Hen laughed and agreed with him.
Buck hugged her and together they walked back to the others. Completely unassisted.
When they came back out, everyone stared at Buck and his cane.
Eddie got up, with a relieved smile and hugged his husband.
“I am so proud of you.” Eddie whispered and kissed Buck’s neck.
“I’m sorry I was such an ass.”
“Daddy!” Christopher exclaimed. They turned to their son.
“You crutch-ed it.” They all laughed at Christopher’s pun.
“You think you’re so funny.” Buck answered.
“I am a delight!”