Chapter Text
Somewhere, in a universe and land far away, a land far away from despair, Makoto Naegi drooled peacefully on his pillow, tiny streaks of light flittering through the blinds.
Not too far off, a bleary-eyed Hajime Hinata stared dully at a coffee machine as it slowly poured out a small stream of coffee into a mug that read "HOPE." Had he been more conscious, he probably would've realized it wasn't his mug.
Just a floor below, Shuichi Saihara, groaning audibly, his face pressed into a pillow, as he failed, once again, to hit the snooze button on his phone.
Just outside, Kaede Akamatsu yelped quietly as she, dropped her keys directly into a muddy puddle. Groaning, she cautiously pulled the keys out of the puddle and begrudgingly made her way to her car.
But well, not that any of this matters, considering they're not the protagonists this time around.
In a distant, not too far away universe, there was a land where the phrase "killing game" was one never made known to mankind. A world where the great academy, Hope's Peak, was one truly known for being the pinnacle of hope.
Not that it mattered much to the girl with multi-colored hair, a lightning bolt of a girl sprinting through the empty corridors of a mall a few blocks away from Hope's Peak, her newly-bought purple combat boots slamming the floor with intensity that could have frightened a pack of gazelles so much, they, very well, may have perished on the spot. Still in a rush, she ran straight between a short boy with a blue spiked hat and a girl in a maid outfit, startling them. Glancing back, she yelled out a half-hearted "Sorry" as she continued running.
Sighing, the boy grumbled, pulling at his hat, "Jeez. Damn kids."
The woman at the maid outfit smiled gently before remarking, "Indeed... But isn't she an upperclassman?" He shrugged half-heartedly.
Neither said a further word as they continued walking.
Her location in sight, she sprinted with full fervor, and ended up leaping through the store's doors with an enthusiastic "YAAAAAAHOOOOOO!"
The store was empty aside from one person. Somehow, the sign reading Hot Topic seemed more worn and tired than it usually did.
The man at the counter seemed to look more bare than usual, wearing only a solid black t-shirt and jeans, but his scarf was more than identifiable. As if anyone could miss the glorious trademark of the great Gundham Tanaka.
"Gundham! Right on time!" she yowled, the sound of her voice bouncing off the walls. Chuckling nervously, she added, "...For once."
Gundham snorted. "Bahaha! It is typical of you, Overlordess of Metal. I expected no less than the most monstrous of... tardiness from you." Glancing at his phone, wrapped in a simple black case, he prodded the power button, his lock screen wallpaper a photo of the 4 Dark Devas of destruction with tiny suits and ties. He smiled every time he saw it. Not that he'd ever admit that.
He was still sorely disappointed that the manager refused to let the Devas into the store. Not that the manager would ever find out that the Devas resided in his scarf at all times.
"Aha! It is 10:01 AM. You live up to your monstrous reputation, it seems," he remarked boisterously, crossing his arms proudly.
Ibuki groaned, flopping onto the counter melodramatically. She huffed. "Ugh... Why did I CHOOSE to work on Saturday mornings?"
"Quell your complaints, mortal. Our time on Earth is temporary," he remarked, curling his lip.
Ibuki mumbled out a "Ah, well, guess it is fun sometimes. She dragged a long "Hmmmm.." as she walked over to the back of the store to check on merchandise. Another cool emo backpack design, another lip ring... She considered "taking one without permission." (It's not stealing, she'd remark fruitlessly.) When she popped back out, she was surprised to see a customer walking in.
"Hm," she said to no one in particular, "Didn't think anyone who walks into Hot Topic would even be up before noon."
She heard Gundham's booming shout from the back of the store. "Greetings, sinner!"
The customer froze in spot at the entrance, his mouth slightly ajar in shock.
She shouted back, "How did you even see him?" She paused for a moment, and answered her own question. "Oh, do you have a super evil eye watching the entrance of the store?"
The customer let his arms fall to his sides slowly as he attempted to construct sense out of a conversation between two people who likely never made too much sense to begin with.
Gundham laughed boisterously, responding with equal fervor. "Haha! One as powerful as I needs not the power of the evil eye for such a simple task."
The customer's dismay seemed to grow.
Gundham continued, still shouting from the back of the store. "For I have the power of my Four Dark Devas of Destruction!" A hamster crept out from behind the counter.
"Wow!" Ibuki remarked, her eyes shining.
The customer seemed to slowly taking steps out of the store.
"HEY!" Ibuki yelled.
The customer, clad in a white outfit, his orange hair falling messily over his shoulders, mustered out an "Uh..."
Ibuki ran up to him, looking him over, her face dangerously close to his as she examined him, muttering "peeking" as she did. After a close examination of his face, she had a sudden epiphany, suddenly yelping, "Yagh! You! You're Leon Kuwata! The um... baseball star, right?"
Still bewildered, he muttered out a small "Yeah...?"
"Oh, and welcome to Hot Topic." She laughed sheepishly, pressing her pointer fingers together.
Shaking his head, he simply grumbled, "I...I have no idea what's going on."
"My my my! Well, introductions are a go-go! I-buki-Mio-Da... put it together and whaddya get-"
As if his bearings had returned, he cut her off. "Oh, you're that girl from that girl band, huh?"
Ibuki puffed her cheeks out defensively. "Ibuki is much more than just a girl from a girl band."
A muffled shout from the back of the store seemed to sound like, "Do not belittle the Overlordess of Metal, fiend!"
"Right," Leon continued, still bewildered, glancing around the store, "What was I here for again?"
Ibuki put her fingers on her temples, as if summoning a thought. "Hmmmmmmm... Ibuki thinks you're here for a girl."
"Oh! Yeah. You're right." He raised his brow. "...How'd you know that?"
"Ibuki was using uh... intuition?" Her lips quickly spread into a wide grin. "Haha! Ibuki never uses big words like intuition!" Leon frowned at her.
"Feel like I've heard this schtick somewhere before." Shaking his head, he muttered out. "So... what do punk rock girls like? You'd probably know, right?"
"Uh... Mmm, Ibuki likes everything in here." Leon shrugged, seeming to be satisfied by her answer. He walkedover to a rack and picked out a red leather jacket, its cuffs lined with spikes.
"Not bad," he remarked to no one in particular.
"Yahoo!" She yelled enthusiastically as she skipped to the counter, Leon following her sheepishly, grumbling his embarrassment at being here under his breath.
Ibuki leaped over the counter dramatically, landing on all fours. Rapidly, she jumped to her feet and put her elbows on the counter, she placed her chin ion her palms, and asked, "Soooooo... who is it?"
Leon tossed the jacket onto the counter. "Who's... what?"
"Who's the girl? Duh."
Leon snorted. "As if I'd tell you. Just... ring me up. That's your job, right?"
Ibuki huffed and fumbled with the scanner. "Oh no..." She mumbled half-heartedly as she aimed the scanner at the ceiling. "It's not scanning..." Leon scowled.
"Come on, man!"
Ibuki pursed her lips, trying to get a smile of him."Is it that pop star girl... Mmm, Sayaka?"
He scoffed. "Not a chance. I don't wanna be with a girl that'll outshine me. Hmph... besides, she seems like the type to stab me in the back, you get me?"
Ibuki felt that what he said had some relevance in a distant universe. She didn’t mention it and simply frowned, crossing her arms. "Seems kinda mean. You're kind of a meanie." She placed her fingers on her tenples thoughtfully. "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."
Leon raised his hands above his head, frustrated. "Are you really gonna keep going with this shit, wasting my-"
Gundham seemed to materialize out from behind a clothing rack, shouting, "Aha! Silly mortal man, I pray for your wretched soul. Perhaps… the woman you pin for is the lovely and dangerous Swordswoman of Darkness?"
"I… what?"
Ibuki made a "pftt" noise, and added, "He’s always like that. Don’t mind him." After a moment of pondering herself, she continued. "Soooo… Is he right? Are you into Peko?" She paused, before pursing her lip. "...If you did, I’d say you have good taste." She grinned widely.
Leon looked back and forth between Gundham and Ibuki like he was at a mental hospital. "No. I don’t even know who that is."
"Damn…" Ibuki grumbled. "Well… well…"
Gundham said nothing, but turned around, fumbling with his scarf, as if deep in thought.
Ibuki glanced over at Gundham. Gundham glanced at Ibuki.
"Gundham," Ibuki started, "Are we thinking the same thing?" He narrowed his eyes.
"Perhaps."
They spoke at the same time, struggling to synchronize, but hey, they were trying. "Is it... the cursed one you pin for... the cute pianist - Kaede Akamatsu?"
He groaned and put both of his hands on his forehead. "No! a thousand times, NO! This is STUPID! Stupid stupid stupid!"
He was going to continue on his frustrated rant, had no one stopped him. But Ibuki and Gundham were suddenly silent, looking at something past Leon. Feeling dread fill his chest, slowly, he turned his head.
Someone had appeared behind him at the store’s entrance, waving her arm awkwardly. Kaede Akamatsu walked into the store, clutching her backpack straps nervously. Taking a determined stance, she spoke up.
"Uh… sorry, am I interrupting something?" She took their silence as a cue to continue. "Um, okay. Was just wondering what kinda, uh, hats you have here? I’m looking for something… for a friend? Birthday." She laughed nervously.
Leon seemed to recover from his stupefied state. "Uh… how long have you been standing there?"
She smiled awkwardly, her cheeks ruddy. "Long… enough, I guess? Heh…" Leon slammed his hands down on the counter, groaning. Pressing her lips together nervously, she added, "Uh, also, I’m also… not interested in… dating and stuff right now. Sorry."
Leon turned his back and briskly made his way out of the store, adding under his breath, "I’m never coming back in here again." Somehow, Ibuki and Gundham knew he was telling the full truth.
Ibuki mused to herself quietly, "Was he even into her?"
Gundham broke the silence in the store, exclaiming, "So! You seek a headdress, mortal? For a friend, you say, hm?"
Kaede seemed bewildered, but nodded. "Uh… I guess you could call it that, so yes!" She added under her breath, "Didn’t know they took the ambience here this seriously."
Ibuki grinned at her, waving to her as she tossed the abandoned leather jacket into a basket. "Hiya, Kaede!" Nodding at Gundham, who was peeking into a shelf full of hats, she added with a laugh, "He’s veeeery dedicated."
Kaede chuckled as she moved towards the hat rack Gundham was shuffling through. "I… can really hear it?"
With Fall Out Boy blasting in the store, Gundham thoughtfully pulled out several hats off the shelf, glancing at each of them carefully, before returning them all to the shelf aside from one, a black snapback, a small chain dangling along the side, the center design reading, "I'm Not Emo, I Swear." As he handed it to Kaede, her jaw fell open.
"Ah! This... is exactly what I was looking for! How did you...? Well, okay." Thinking to herself, she continued. "I'm sure he'll love it... he just got me a really heartfelt gift for my birthday, so I... just had to repay the favor somehow. Well... Thank you so much for your help!"
He shrugged, looking slightly more ruddy as he pulled his scarf over his mouth. "It... was nothing. Nothing but a simple task, for I, the Supreme Overlord of Ice..."
She took his hands into hers and earnestly exclaimed as she shook his hands."Thank you so much, Mr. Overlord of Ice!"
He sputtered, seemingly unable to construct a response.
Grinning from the counter, Ibuki yelled waving a raised hand, "Lemme ring you up, cutie!"
Kaede walked to the counter briskly, Gundham shuffling behind her, his face still a tint of pink.
As Ibuki rang her up, Kaede offered a question. "Hey... Mr. Overlord of Ice? Uh, I think Hope's Peak has an Ultimate Clarivoyant... Is that you?"
Finding his composure, Gundham shook his head. "No, Conqueror of the Chords. I am -"
Kaede chuckled awkwardly. "Conqueror of the- huh?"
Ibuki interrupted through a snicker. "Before he goes off on a suuuuuper long introduction, he's the Ultimate Breeder."
"Fiend!" Gundham exclaimed, "How dare you interrupt my introduction!" Ibuki giggled innocently as he took an intimidating stance.
Kaede, amused, offered him a question. "Hey, Gundham, so... you breed... animals, I'm guessing?"
He huffed. "They are more than simply 'animals,' mortal. I only work with truly great and powerful beings that I deem worthy to be my underlings." Kaede seemed at a loss, scratching the back of her head.
Ibuki, grinning, poked at Gundham's scarf, and a little hamster head poked out. "Like these little guys!" Ibuki giggled, running her fingers through the hamster’s head.
Kaede's expression softened in an instant, her lips emitting a small "aw..." Gundham beamed proudly, a grin growing on his face.
"This is Golden Hawk Jum-P! Truly one of my finest underlings and one of the great four Dark Devas of Destruction! Its skills are unmatched by any of its kind..."
"Really?" Kaede asked. "Is he, like, trained to do stuff?"
Gundham pointed at the counter, and the hamster leaped onto the counter, and the other Devas followed suit.
Kaede's grin was wide and bright as Gundham allowed her to pet the Devas, his arms crossed over his chest, like a proud father. Soon enough, he was scrolling through pictures on his phone, enthusiastically presenting pictures of his Devas being incredibly "intimidating and powerful." That is, if "intimidating and powerful" would define a picture of cute hamsters, with tiny sweaters, nibbling on a piece of cheese.
Eventually, Kaede left, bag in hand, with a smile that probably hurt her cheeks. Ibuki, looking over at Gundham feeding the Four Dark Devas of Destruction, realized that maybe working mornings on Saturdays was more than just okay- but was pretty great.
Bonus:
"Hey... Gundham. Did you ever tell Kaede your... actual name?"
"Psh. Overlordness of Metal, you, of all people, should know
Overlord of Ice is my real name."
"Ooookay. I'll take that as a no."
For the rest of the day, Ibuki amused herself with the idea that Kaede would, upon seeing him at Hope's Peak, call out to him as "Mr. Overlord of Ice."