Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jinki, startled, looks up under the hood of his coat. With winter has come the need to dress warmer, so the hood is lined with fur, and it fits snugly over his frame. The combination of his coat and the dark hoodie underneath has created a layered warmth, and so when he steps out of the SM building with Taemin bouncing beside him, the cold doesn't touch the warm bubble that he's created for himself.

"Hm? Tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Taemin is dressed... bolder than Jinki. His long trench coat is warm but stylish, and pretty rings glint on his fingers under the sun as he runs a hand over his dark, blonde-streaked hair. Still, he couldn't be intimidating, not with that familiar bright, childish smile in his cheeks. "It feels like forever since we went somewhere, just the two of us."

Jinki nods, a small acknowledgement. It has been a long time since he hung around the other members like this. The military brings with it a sense of isolation from home, and the world you used to know. Being around his friends and family again, so often, has taken adjustment. But it has been worth every second.

Being around Taemin though... that had not taken adjustment. Taemin is always easy to be around. Charming, funny, and so abashedly himself. Taemin will tell stories and giggle and send Jinki videos of his cat and Jinki is at ease, always, as if Taemin is a warm blanket, soothing all of his awkward and uncomfortable feelings.

Take today, for instance. They had ran into each other while training, and Taemin had went over one of the particularly tricky Don't Call Me moves with Jinki a few times until he grew comfortable with it. In return, Jinki had helped him hit one of the harder high notes. And none of it felt stilted - there was no prickle of judgement. Only comfort and occasionally laughter, even while working.

"You want me to buy you fried chicken? Lamb skewers?" Jinki asks. Taemin's smile widens, and that mischievous glint that's always in his eyes twinkles brighter, glittering like snowflakes under the sun.

"Thank you, hyung~" Taemin says. He always takes advantage of Jinki's soft spot for him, but then, Taemin's nature is the reason Jinki even has a soft spot in the first place. The maknae has all of them completely and utterly wrapped around his finger, and no one more than Jinki. "Yah, now I'm hungry. Let's just skip the photoshoot for my album and-"

Behind them, Taemin's manager grumbles don't even joke about that, and Jinki laughs.

"I was only kidding~" Taemin says sweetly. When he reaches the car, he turns on his heel, and Jinki almost bumps into him. Embarrassed, Jinki steps backwards, his cheeks turning pink. "See you tomorrow."

"Y-Yeah. Work hard, Taeminnie." Jinki smiles, still embarassed. Taemin is so easily comfortable. Like now, as he leans back against the car door, his eyes still glittering. Jinki, meanwhile, feels awkward in his own skin, feels shy as if still a teenager. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Take me out, hyung." Taemin smiles, and sets his hand on Jinki's arm. The touch is warm, and Jinki feels the weight of Taemin's palm even through his layers of clothing.

Jinki swallows, and averts his eyes. Ever since he got back from the army there's been this burning sensation in his chest. whenever he's around Taemin. Whenever Taemin smiles at him or looks at him there is a twist in his heart, an acknowledgement that wasn't there before. They say absence makes the heart grow stronger, but not that it changes your feelings and makes them brand new.

God knows Jinki shouldn't have a crush on his bandmate.

But here he is, cheeks glowing pink as the winter air swirls around them.

Taemin ducks into the car, and sends Jinki a smile before pulling out his phone. He's oblivious to the way Jinki watches him leave, with his hands tucked in his pockets.

*

There are cat hairs on Taemin's sweater.

Jinki can't help but notice him as they sit in a small corner of a restaurant they often frequent. The managers are good at keeping them out of the public eye, so they can have a meal peacefully here, away from the camera flashes and fans. Taemin is already sipping on his drink - something sweet and colorful. It stains his lips a deeper pink, and Jinki focuses on the cat hairs on Taemin's knitted sweater so not to gaze at his mouth, instead, shining prettily under the amber lights.

Jinki has ordered them an assortment of meats - Taemin, of course, is buzzing with excitement. When Taemin is happy, he's animated and talkative around the people he's close to, and Jinki is glad to bask in his enjoyment, his vibrant and lovely company.

"I have scratches here, and here-" Taemin holds out his arm, where thin red scratches line his skin. "Look at that!"

"You've met your match." Jinki smiles. He's seen the videos of Taemin and his cat, the two of them fighting and cuddling. It melts his heart, every time. "Did you get some of my cookies this morning, by the way?"

"Yes! You left them in the training room, right?" Taemin sighs happily, leaning his chin on his hand, "I tried not to eat them all before Minho and Key hyung arrived, but I almost did. They're too good, hyung. You should go on a baking show."

"Yah." Jinki, equal parts pleased and embarrassed, grins. "That's too far."

"No, I'm serious! You've got so many hobbies now. You'll be too good for SHINee."

"Hey." Jinki says, "It's just- silly really. It's fun to try new things, though."

"It's relaxing, right?" Taemin smiles, "I saw that video of you making pottery. I've always wanted to try that~ But I think I'd smash my pot before I could paint it."

"We had to shoot the episode twice, because I did that." Jinki grimaces.

"Really?" Taemin laughs, a bright, pretty thing, and Jinki struggles to tear his eyes away before Taemin can catch him staring. "I'm glad they always cut out the embarrassing parts."

"Me too." Jinki says, "It's still weird being in front of the camera again, especially when I'm on my own. I never know what to do."

"You're a natural, hyung~" Taemin says, "And don't worry, the fans think you're cute, anyway."

Jinki pauses, his glass halfway to his mouth. He wants to ask, do you?, but the question is embarrassing and too honest and of course he wouldn't let it slip from his lips. Still, it's tempting here, to imagine Taemin is not his bandmate of over a decade but someone else, someone closer. Perhaps they'd be on a date in this quiet, lovely little restaurant. Perhaps-

Thankfully, their food arrives before Jinki can fall further into the fantasy. Taemin makes a noise of happiness and appreciation before digging in immediately, and Jinki follows suit. They've always loved their food.

And there's so much pleasure in watching Taemin eat well.

"Manager-nim takes me out, too, but he would never buy me all of this." Taemin says, through a mouthful of chicken, sauce on the edges of his lips. "Don't tell him."

"I won't." Jinki giggles, tucking into a skewer. Blonde hair falls over his eyes as he watches Taemin eat. "Did you eat well, while I was gone, Taeminnie?"

The question comes out too warm, too bittersweet. Taemin blinks at him, but smiles, passing over the unexpected sincerity in Jinki's voice. Jinki is grateful for it. He's always been uncomfortable in confrontation, and when faced with his own feelings he prefers to ignore them, instead, and turn back to the world with a smile.

"Sure. When I first joined Super M we'd go out all of the time." Taemin's smile turns mischievous. "Soju helps make friends quicker, you know."

"I'm glad."

The food is rich with flavour and Jinki appreciates it. Since he returned he's been appreciating more. The people around him - his family, his members, his friends. Nature, and hard work, and new hobbies. Life has become a series of enjoyments, but this may be what he enjoys most. A warm evening with his favourite person, his best friend - Lee Taemin.

"I supposed you missed me a lot, out there." Taemin sighs dramatically, "You did, didn't you?"

Jinki raises an eyebrow, and takes another bite out of his skewer.

"Yah, don't ignore me. You've been so shy lately~" Taemin giggles, "Answer me, hyung."

"Of course I missed you." Jinki smiles, "Not more than food like this, though."

"Okay, that's fair." Taemin laughs.

Eating together is comfortable, familiar. They've had thousands of meals together over the years, alone or with the rest of SHINee. Though it's always lovely to have a meal all five of them, there's something about tonight with just Taemin that's... different. Jinki's unspoken feelings seem to crackle in the air around them, but maybe that's just Jinki's imagination.

"It's been different, since everyone got back." Taemin contemplates. He's always like this - thinking out loud. Jinki has got to watch him speak on v-lives lately, and he loves hearing Taemin think. He's always so... so wonderfully himself. Even when it's embellished for the camera, there's always that hint of Taemin, endearing and captivating. "We're all busy, and a lot of our activities are separate. I'm excited to hang out more as a group once promotions start."

Jinki thinks of Kibum and Minho, bickering, and his heart warms.

"Me too." He says gently.

"We should go on a trip." Taemin says. "When everything dies down, I mean. We could go somewhere warm, and go swimming..."

Taemin's eyes glaze over with the fantasy.

"We've got to work hard, Taeminnie." Jinki says, "But a vacation would be nice."

"Where would you go, if you could go anywhere?" Taemin asks.

The conversation continues like this, familiar and easy, warm words drifting over the restaurant tables as the night moves on. The moon rises in the sky and Jinki watches Taemin soften under the lights, growing sleepier and sleepier, as if being dragged along with the stars.

Then, while Jinki is in the middle of saying something, Taemin's face changes. He leans over and brushes a little of Jinki's hair away from his face with his fingers. The touch is soft and warm and Jinki stumbles over his words. Taemin always takes care of him. But now- now it flutters in his chest, like a baby bird's wings, and Jinki is helpless.

"What?" Taemin asks, perplexed as he takes a sip of his drink. Jinki blinks and shakes his head, his hair falling over his eyes again when he ducks his face away. "Yah, hyung, you really are so shy lately."

He's not really able to help it. He's always been shy and giddy around people he's infatuated with. Even around Taemin, who he's known for an extremely long time, his heart is racing. Jinki feels like melting into a puddle.

"Anyway, don't you have a schedule early tomorrow?" Taemin asks. Of course he knows that. Of course he's warm, and considerate, like this. "We shouldn't stay out too late."

"Yeah, and you look sleepy." Jinki says.

"Come on then. Bed time." Taemin stands and pulls on his coat, before holding out a hand for Jinki to take. Jinki can do nothing but take it.

When Jinki is pulled to his feet by Taemin's hand, he stumbles into Taemin's arms. Taemin laughs and rubs his hands up and down Jinki's arms, steadying him gently. So close, so warm, Taemin smells of a husky sort of cologne, and the winter air. Jinki can't breathe.

"Alright?" Taemin asks, his hands warm on Jinki's arms.

Jinki swallows and steps away. He pulls on his coat with bright red ears, and Taemin gazes at him, at once curious and teasing.

"Are you coming?" Taemin asks him, and now his smile has an edge to it that Jinki can't read. He's never seen this expression on Taemin's face before, but it makes him warm all of the way to his toes.

They pay the bill and then step into the cold air. Jinki hums as they walk together, his heart rate eventually steadying. He watches their shadows merge under the street lamps. Taemin keeps bumping their arms together, and as he looks up at the stars his face smiles and he shines. He's so beautiful, Jinki thinks, glancing at him every now and again.

He doesn't know if there's a reason he began to fall for Taemin. Perhaps the time away put things into perspective, and made Jinki realise he just couldn't live without the maknae. Perhaps one day Taemin shifted in his eyes, and became dearer to his heart than Jinki could've ever imagined. Perhaps it was something Taemin did, that suddenly made Jinki fall at his feet.

Either way, the fact remains that Jinki can think of nothing but him. He's everywhere - in Jinki's dreams, his fantasies. He's always been a casual person, a man with an easy smile and bright face which hides his deeper heart beneath. Now his feelings spill over.

"I miss those lamb skewers already~" Taemin is whining. "Buy them for me again, would you, hyung?"

If Minho were here he'd scowl and grumble, at least say please. Jinki, though, has never been good at scolding anyone. He just smiles sheepishly, his eyes crinkling.

"Only if you share."

"Deal." Taemin chuckles, knocking their arms together again. Just when Jinki thinks he has his heart under control it rebels again, leaving him a mess under the moonlight.

Finally they reach the corner where they split up for the night. Taemin rocks back and forth on his heels, smiling at Jinki from under his pretty eyelashes.

"Take me out again, okay hyung?" He asks, sweet as a peach, or the stains on his lips from whatever he was drinking.

Jinki nods, smiling back. If they were anyone else Jinki would shyly test his luck, and maybe step closer. But there's too much history, Jinki thinks, and too much to lose if it goes wrong. Taemin is probably oblivious to his feelings and saw this night as nothing more than time with his hyung and free food.

But still- still- moonlight touches the edges of Taemin's hair. He's so pretty, and so real, and Jinki adores him.

"Goodnight, Taeminnie." He says, and holds out his arms. Taemin giggles and stumbles into his embrace.

The hug is warm, snug, like coming home. They're the same height, so Jinki has to duck his head to bury it in Taemin's shoulder. It's easier to hide his flushed face, like this, and anyway, it's comfortable and sweet. His lips brush Taemin's neck, beneath his sweater, and the accident that makes his stomach flip.

Taemin pulls away from him. He runs a hand through his hair, and lingers for a moment. He considers Jinki, his eyes flickering over Jinki's face. Something in Jinki's expression must please him, because he smiles suddenly.

"Hey, actually, I've been meaning to ask you something." He begins, cautious and sweet.

Taemin shuffles his feet, a shyness passing over his features. Jinki imagines the same look is on his face, too.

"I, um," Taemin runs his teeth over his lips, "I noticed that lately, you, uh- hyung, do you like me?"

Jinki blinks in surprise. He ducks his head, so not to meet Taemin's eyes, which are clear and knowing and teasing.

"I didn't want to say anything, in case I was wrong, but lately you've been-" Taemin raises an eyebrow, and Jinki flushes darker. "Well, you know. And I didn't want to ask you in front of the others, so. Here we are."

Taemin pauses and tucks a lock of hair behind his ear with dainty fingers. Jinki watches the movement idly, his eyes drawn there.

"Do you?" He asks quietly Jinki swallows.

"Taeminnie, I-"

Jinki finally gives a curt nod. Funny, that he's been so embarrassed and so shy, and yet Taemin had solved it in an instant. Better to get it in the open, Jinki supposes, it might be easier to get over it this way.

"Yes." Jinki says softly, gazing at his shoes.

Taemin... Taemin laughs. It's so like him to react like that that Jinki almost isn't surprised.

"What?" Jinki pouts, his face burning.

"Nothing, hyung, just-" Taemin giggles, and shakes his head. Then he steps through the cold air, and takes Jinki's face in his hands, and kisses him.

Jinki, surprised, nearly forgets to react. Taemin's hands, his face, his lips - they're so warm, and so sweet, and when he realises what's happening Jinki makes a noise in his throat. Taemin is clumsy, and endearingly eager. Their noses clash as Taemin kisses him, but Jinki melts anyway.

When they pull apart Taemin smiles and puts his hands on Jinki's chest. He pulls his collar tighter around Jinki's neck, as if protecting Jinki from the cold.

"Silly hyung." Taemin says, patting Jinki's chest. "You seemed so scared of me."

"Not scared." Jinki says, his eyes flickering back to Taemin's mouth. He feels warm from the inside out.

"Yeah, right." Taemin cackles, and his smile is teasing, as if he knows exactly what Jinki wants, and exactly how much Jinki would do for him. He probably does, Jinki thinks wearily, but there's a happiness building inside of him that only grows brighter and brighter. "You were too obvious, hyung."

"Yah." Jinki pouts, and Taemin pulls him into his arms and kisses him again, deeper, his hair tickling Jinki's cheeks. Jinki is safe and held, in the cold winter night, Taemin's arms wrapped tightly around him. He feels smothered in him.

"It's okay, I, um," Taemin is a little more embarrassed, when he pulls away, shyness peeking through his persona. "I like you too."

Jinki turns pink but his smile is pleased as he buries his face in Taemin's chest. Shy, warm, wanting.

"This is a bad idea." Jinki murmurs, and Taemin's chest rumbles under his cheek as he chuckles.

"I love those." Taemin says, his arms snaking around Jinki's neck. He pulls Jinki back, to look at him. He's so good at that. He's so good at bringing Jinki into the light. "Take care of me, and I'll take care of you, okay?"

Jinki nods. Of course, he thinks, always.