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Philippa hadn’t sought her out.
She had known she was there, somewhere on the station. She hadn’t gone out of her way to find her, but hadn’t tried to avoid her either.
But then she saw her.
She hesitated only the smallest moment, eyes widening in surprise before looking away and moving subtly through the crowd towards the other side of the wide, open corridor. But it was enough.
“Pippa?”
The voice was a low, warm whisper behind her.
If it had been anyone else, she could have ignored it. Would have. But even she couldn’t just ignore her wife.
When Philippa took the place of her counterpart after being brought to this universe against her will, she’d received access to all of the records and logs of this Philippa. So she knew that Philippa had been married, knew the details of their lives together.
But a spouse was a complication, and one Philippa wasn’t interested in dealing with. She was not about to play someone’s wife, and she was relieved that Philippa’s wife hadn’t sought her out after she had come back from the dead.
And yet now here she was, dark eyes full of sadness and longing.
Fuck.
“I am… sorry. I didn’t… call.” The words were awkward and uncomfortable, but it seemed like the sort of weak apology her counterpart would give.
The other woman choked out a sad laugh. “You don’t— I know… I know you’re not… mine,” she trailed off sadly.
Philippa blinked then shook herself, ponytail swinging. “Thank god.” Then her eyes narrowed. “No one is supposed to know. Not even…” Not even you.
“Katrina told me,” she replied.
Philippa nodded. She watched as Afsaneh began to take down her hair, fought the desire to touch it. “Then why did you ask me here?”
Afsaneh shook her head. “I honestly didn’t think it would affect me like this. But I saw you, and it was like she was back.”
Philippa’s voice was hard. “I’m not her. She’s dead.”
“I know that,” Afsaneh snapped. She stood up and walked towards Philippa. “And I know I’ll probably regret this.” She reached up to touch Philippa’s cheek, and they stared at each other silently.
“I’m not her,” Philippa insisted.
Afsaneh leaned in anyway, and Philippa followed, lips meeting hesitantly. Philippa moaned softly and Afsaneh sighed.
“This is a terrible idea.”
“I know,” Afsaneh agreed, kissing her hungrily.
The memory of her Afsaneh slammed into her, the years disappearing in a heartbeat. The feel of her lips, the taste of her mouth.
“Pippa,” she whispered, her voice a low rumble against Philippa’s mouth.
Something squeezed in Philippa’s chest, but she ignored it, pushing their bodies together. “Don’t call me that. I’m just Philippa to you.”
Afsaneh nodded. “Philippa,” she agreed. Their mouths met again and Philippa tugged on Afsaneh’s lip with her teeth. The desperate little noise she made sent a thrill up Philippa’s spine.
“Stay,” Afsaneh begged. “Gift me with your company for one night.”
Philippa obliged.
Afsaneh’s naked body was warm and soft, and Philippa curled around her contentedly.
“Did you know me, in your universe?”
Philippa stiffened.
“I’m sorry—”
“It’s fine.”
She was silent for some time before she finally spoke, idly drawing circles on Afsaneh’s hip. “I knew her,” she whispered. “Loved her. But it was not to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“It was too dangerous. She would have been a target. We couldn’t.”
Afsaneh was quiet for a long time. “Losing Philippa was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. But to never have even had her… I’m so sorry.”
Philippa just grunted.