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Kenma clicked through places Bokuto had sent over for ideas. Only two of the five were sentimental, the others were goofy and fun places. The training camp grounds were immediately ruled out; Kuroo didn’t have much attachment to how the two met, it wouldn’t be as sentimental as Bokuto was aiming for.
“Rule out anywhere with flashing lights.” Tsukishima set his phone down and took his glasses off, setting them on the bed between the pair and rubbing at his eyes. Kenma could see the bloodshot eyes even in the dimmed room, from a good two feet across the bed where they sat across from each other.
Kenma raised an eyebrow. “Kuro likes flashy places, crowds, all that. Amusement park actually sounds good.” They turned the laptop around to show Tsukishima as he put his glasses back on. An advertisement for some huge amusement park was next to a picture of Bokuto and Kuroo on their third date. Bokuto was smiling like a dork, squeezing Kuroo around the middle while the other held up the phone.
He shook his head. The fourth bandage of the evening was getting picked off again as he stared at the distorted, colorful lights in the background of the selfie. “No, Bokuto will get a horrible headache. Stress already gives him headaches, and flashing lights are as much of a pain as they are a distraction for him. He won’t be able to take his ADHD medicine close enough for it to fully work, anyway. Too much of a risk for sensory overload.”
They hummed. “Why not just take it a little late for once?”
“He’s almost certainly going to be in a swing no matter what answer Kuroo gives.” The bandage fell off, and Tsukishima’s poor skin was back to being a victim of jagged, chewed nails. “Adding a stimulant? The fact he’s taking it in the first place is still a trial run. It’ll ramp up a swing when it comes to something so intense. Plus, if he’s kept up super late while he’s manic, it could trigger a full blown episode.” He shook his head again, sighing. “I know he’d like it, but it’s just too risky.”
Kenma sat there for a while, watching Tsukishima stare blankly at the photo. They watched dead, bloodshot eyes slowly fill with tears while the rest of his face remained blank as ever. The tears dripped slowly for the second time that week. And Kenma gave him his time with the photo, just studying him silently as the ever moving gears of his brain started to shutter and give into the rust. They watched until the blankness was no longer careful and purposeful, until the blankness was just a result of the overwhelming numbness and vague sadness that came with the gears of his mind coming to a stop.
When Tsukishima’s stare was interrupted with a blink, Kenma closed the laptop and set it aside. They reached over and took his phone, setting it aside as well. And Tsukishima just kept looking at where the photo had been. They grabbed the TV remote from the bed stand and turned on some gaming compilation from a playlist the pair had made a while ago after they started hanging out more. Finally, they pulled back the blankets and carefully pulled Tsukishima to come up by their side, letting him burrow into the blankets.
The tears still fell, the gears still wouldn’t turn for a while, their loves were still getting engaged.
But at least Kenma could hold Tsukishima and offer a few forms of grounding, provide a place for his gears to stop working without judgement and be oiled to move again when he was ready. At least Tsukishima was there when Kenma snapped and threw things and screamed and sobbed, someone to rely on to carefully clean up their mess and put their gears back together as much as he could until they fell apart again.