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English
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Part 9 of dandelion wine
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Published:
2021-02-24
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2,183
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1/1
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45
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when can we meet again? (i want to see you again)

Summary:

it's been a long while since he's seen them - nearly three years at this point. scaramouche is the tsartia's harbinger and has snezhnaya's dark side at his disposal but if he leaves the nation, he's going to take advantage of all his resources.

set around the ending of the [unreconciled stars] event

Notes:

t his is essentially another drunken fic.. dandelion wine has never been beta'd and we're just going along for the drunken ride at this point.

alternatively titled: "scaramouche is just grumpy"

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

although the tsartia let him go to liyue in order to investigate the glowing sleeping meteors, there was also another ulterior motive behind agreeing to leave the cryo nation for a while. by this point, it had been almost two and a half years since he had last seen nao. since then it had only been the extremely rare letter sent to his new address in the cryo nation.

although the last letter he received was nearly seven months ago at this point, nao had mentioned that they were skirting around the base of dragonspine while going to springvale for any supplies that needed restocking. it was barely anything substantial anymore, written far too long ago and it barely filled a full page, but it was the only thing he had left of nao.

however, his search would have to be put to the side. he was on a job for the tsartia and he would be damned if he did a shitty job at it. that blonde traveler and especially the strangely talking girl had seemed convenient to use, what with the happy front that he displayed for them. of course, his plans for the investigation would be thrown off course by that mage girl and immediately followed by the biggest meteor to crash down onto teyvat so far. things were beginning to get more and more frustrating as he turned around to snap at the fatui soldiers with his last thread of patience.

scaramouche didn't want to believe in luck (because then that would mean he wouldn't be able to fix a situation deemed “unlucky”), but it was most fortunate that he arrived at the location of the meteorite before those other two did. the dream was cold and revealed things that made even he reluctant to surface and face the reality. but he had something to do after this - he was going to find nao after this ended so he had to wake up.

his job here for the tsartia was done, and the decision to leave the fatui soldiers to take those other two down was an easy one. now he was going to hunt down his fellow inazuma vagrant.

 

nao had just come back down from dragonspine, passing through the adventurers’ camp with the intention to make his own settlement a ways off. the mountain had been so cold and he had a moment to wonder if that was how scaramouche was living now in the cryo nation. and speaking of which, they should probably write him another letter soon so that he wouldn't think that they had died or anything.

when nao had first left inazuma with scaramouche, his name back then had been minami. nao and minami made their decision right around the time rumors said that baal would be closing the gates to their country and the pair had left their country behind, hand in hand, in the middle of the night. they were wandering vagrants and picked up everything they could for money. somehow, at some point that nao couldn't figure, their shared bed at the inn became a bed too big for one. one day, nao woke up to the sinking acceptance that minami just hadn't been coming back. despite waking up alone for over a month, some of minami’s belongings were still here, making nao hold out hope that he would be coming back soon.

when his coworker came asking for him to cover an overnight shift, nao thought back to the inn room that was booked for two but only housed one. agreeing, nao trudged through the graveyard hours in hopes of being distracted from unwanted emotions creeping into his mind.

only to fall to his knees the moment they came back to the inn room.

minami had been back.

minami had gathered all of his belongings and left.

there was a note on the table saying that he would be back to explain soon, and nao grasped onto those words with desperation. but again and again, he was left with empty days without his partner. and when yet another month passed without minami, nao couldn't keep his grasp on his shattered expectations anymore. there was nothing left of minami, so he gathered his belongings and left when a coworker invited him on an adventure away from this small town they had settled in.

nao eventually returned back to the small town months later, merely stopping by on his way to the next place he would wander around to. the inn lady had recognized him and said that minami had finally come back weeks after nao left, and let him know that she had passed on his letter to minami.

calling it a letter could be an exaggeration though. it was merely minami’s note and nao’s last message to him stuffed into an envelope in case minami really did come back.

“i'm sorry i couldn't stay any longer. i wake up without you every day and then wonder what being awake is worth. i left inazuma because i love you but i would rather we be apart than come to hate you so this is my goodbye to minami.”

nao came back to the inn within a month the next time, stopping by to say hello to the inn lady while in town to restock on supplies. surprisingly, minami had been back for a bit during that time as well, enough to leave a letter for nao at any rate.

but nao couldn't help but be reminded of the last time minami had left them a message - a promise to return, only for nao to grasp at the broken seams of their heart in a desperate attempt to keep it from shattering. he didn't take the letter and left it unopened. nao would preserve the minami that he knew in his heart, but would lock his heart up to keep it from breaking again.

 

scaramouche was rooted to his spot, eyes fixated on nao’s side profile. they hadn't seen him yet, and he honestly feared what his reaction would be to see him. he hadn't seen them in nearly three years at this point, not since the fatui had suddenly taken him in for “training”.

the very first moment scaramouche could get a break, he was headed right back to their small town inn to see nao again. but he returned to an empty room without nao. he had hoped that nao would be home since he only had that afternoon off before he would have to go back. scaramouche had paced the room and tried to wait as long as possible, but nao hadn't returned to the inn at all.

and the next time he could finally return, with his training finally over, he came back only to be told that nao was gone. the parting letter had fear gripping at his heart. it wasn't as though he couldn't live without nao. they were both independent and could live away from each other. but this was goodbye. this was a break up.

no matter how many times he tried, nao never opened his letters. by the time scaramouche had to move to the cryo nation and became a harbinger, he had spies looking for nao across teyvat. he'd left his new address with the inn lady in hopes that nao would send him a message occasionally, since their communication had become one-sided.

two months after moving to the cryo nation, a single letter arrived with no return address but he had been staring at the last letter from nao every day for nearly a year. nao’s handwriting was practically ingrained into his memory by now. inside the letter was a poster announcing scaramouche as a harbinger, clearly ripped down from wherever it had been posted, and a curt “congratulations'' written onto the poster.

now he was hiding away from nao's sight with a nervousness he hadn't felt since they were both schoolchildren behind the high school gym. just as he was making the decision to come out, nao suddenly locked eyes with him and gazed at him with a lingering look before turning away. surprised, he chased after the retreating figure as he called out to his- partner? ex-boyfriend? acquaintance? he wasn't sure where they stood anymore.

nao was visibly startled as he reflexively turned to his voice. nao cursed and stumbled back as he stared at him. “now i'm hallucinating about minami on ground level, too? isn't that just great for me.”

he hadn't heard that name in a long time. he'd spent so long as scaramouche that he had almost forgotten that his name was minami. looking closer at nao, the other was starting to pale and sweat was beading at his temples, despite still being able to feel dragonspine’s chill from down here. “are you alright, nao?” he tried to reach out to the other only to have nao bodily jerk away from him with a resigned look in his eyes.

“don't touch me, you cursed ghosts. i thought i left you all back in the snow.” nao’s voice was brittle and full of defensive walls. “let's hurry it up, which nightmare have you come to inflict on me today? will you tell me that i'm a letdown again? or that you should have never taken me with you out of inazuma? or have you finally decided to tie up your loose ends from before your harbinger days?”

scaramouche rushed forward to grasp onto nao, looking at him seriously. “i would never do that to you, nao!”

it only took a moment for things to go the opposite way he expected. nao was suddenly looking at him with fear in his eyes, trying to push away from him with newfound strength, but scaramouche had gotten stronger after his time as a harbinger and he wasn't letting nao go anymore. nao’s skin was burning up with a fever and he wasn't steady on his feet, yet he kept trying to push scaramouche away while yelling curses until it became begging sobs. “please just leave me alone! i prepared myself to be left alone but i don't want you to say it! i thought i already prepared my heart but i don't want to see you anymore! let me go! leave me alone!”

nao quickly collapsed in a faint after hyperventilating, and scaramouche was distraught about the situation, about nao’s state of mind, about nao’s health, about everything. he hadn't known it was this bad, or else he would have left to search for nao sooner. the only thing he could do now was to care for his lover like he should have been doing years ago.

 

nao felt far too warm. he could feel the sweat at the nape of his neck and dampening the back of his shirt. his face was too hot and it felt like the beginnings of a really bad headache was going to show as soon as he woke up. a cooling sensation on his forehead soothed him for a bit and he couldn't help a relieved smile when he faintly saw minami’s figure at his bedside. “you came home. welcome home, minami. i've been wanting to tell you that for a long time, you know? i missed you so much, please don't leave me. when will you be home? i miss you, minami.”

on the verge of falling back asleep, nao felt a soft press of lips on his forehead and a shaky voice. “i'm sorry, nao. i'm home now.”

 

the campsite that nao had previously set up wasnt very large, just enough for a single person. as such, scaramouche could hear the moment that nao began to regain consciousness. crossing from the lit stove to the tent only took a couple strides, settling next to the bedside as they began to stir. noa turned his attention to the side when he felt a warmth encompass his hand.

scaramouche could see the moment that nao recognized him, jolting upright from the bedding, despite his gentle encouragement to lay back down. “please be careful, nao. you’re still at the ends of a fever.” he couldnt help the worried tone his voice took as his free hand brushed against nao’s forehead, checking the temperature. a wry and empty laugh was the only way scaramouche could react as nao’s eyes began to tear up again. despite being a bit older, nao had always been a crybaby.

it had been a long time since they’d done it, but nao dove into his arms while crying like he used to years ago. despite everything that had happened between them, scaramouche held onto his lover in a tight embrace, cherishing and trying to make up for all the times he couldnt hold nao before. there was a tight feeling in his throat and the telltale burn behind his eyes. it had been so long but they easily fell back into each other, and scaramouche was still just as much in love with nao as when they were schoolboys and they shared their first kiss underneath the summer fireworks.

Notes:

i occasionally post things about the 'dandelion wine' series on my tumblr so (○゚ε^○)v

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