Chapter Text
It was already dark and closed night, thick black clouds dimming the brightness of the few stars that could be seen from the luminous streets of Inazuma. The nocturnal shadows engulfed in their entrails the far corners of the shimmering shelter of the streetlights and the footsteps began to fade in the late hour.
Although it was still February it was not very cold, it was a mild night in the middle of a strangely warm winter; so the load of coats and scarves had decreased compared to other years among pedestrians who returned home after a long day of work or in more fortunate cases, of leisure.
In the case of that young man with long disheveled brown hair, it was the first assumption. He was walking slowly down a street not so busy because of the time, absorbed inside his mind. Whirlpools of thoughts that mixed university classes, work and his increasingly poorer personal life.
Among that tumult of fog and frenzy there appeared flashes of thoughts of strength and positivity that often lasted only an instant before succumbing to the sea of inertia. And on other less fortunate occasions the image of a boy with red eyes covered by stupid blue rubber goggles would slip in.
It was then that his sea-green eyes were flooded with hopeless apathy and a pang split his heart in a heart-rending cry of remorse and reproach. Had it been worth it?
Immersed as he was in the hidden depths of his mind, he did not notice a person walking in the opposite direction and who wasn’t aware of their presence either, as he was frowning at some papers held in a briefcase. He was dressed in a dark elegant suit and his long brown hair was parted in a ponytail and the rest falling freely over his shoulders. Standing out in that beautiful outfit, he wore glasses with large green lenses that cut off any sign of attraction that he could emit towards others, he looked like a lunatic lost in the night.
The two young men collided when their paths crossed, the dark-haired young man stood up with an annoyed face and turned to face the other for his inattention on the public road, something that should serve himself as well. However, the other was already somewhat far away because after murmuring an apology as automatic as his walk continued to advance.
The scent of a perfume was caught in the air.
That made the first young man even more upset and he was going to yell at him when he realized that there was a small rectangular leather object on the floor. It was the young man's wallet. He took it with a snort appealing to all his good human decency, it was a very good quality wallet and he had no doubt that the wallet itself was already worth more than all the money he carried in his.
"Hey! Hey!" he yelled, shaking the object briskly even though the other couldn't see it “Hey! You! The automaton! You dropped your...! " Suddenly his green eyes widened, he noticed how his heart skipped a beat "Yuuto."
He clenched his fists in fury, why? An icy sweat ran down his neck as his heart beat faster. Why? After so many years, after so many times he had told himself that it was better that way, after so many sleepless nights ... his stupid heart acted as if his feelings didn’t go through a barren winter, as if it was the day before when he said goodbye to him with a smile, a hug and the promise never kept to meet again.
"Akio."
The other young man stopped completely, his lips were slightly parted and the stupor, perplexity and astonishment of that encounter could be read throughout his body. He realized immediately that he couldn't move, his body trembling with a distant nostalgia and a feeling of guilt that prevented him from approaching. He noticed how his chest ached with anguish accumulated for years, his heart beat with expectation and behind the glasses his eyes were looking intensely at that person who seemed as puzzled by that encounter as he was himself.
With a hesitant step, the young man with glasses cut the space between them, stretched out his hand, noticing how his palm was sweating from that gesture, and took the object, trying in vain to hide the surprise that all that caused him.
Their hands touched in that gesture, just like so many other times in the past when they unconsciously sought to touch. Immediately they both felt a spark that ran through their bodies and the green-eyed boy hurried to withdraw his hand.
However, the red eyes behind the glasses did not miss a moment of those others. It was a painful encounter. He bit his lip, unable to order his mind, which until then was working quickly.
"How long, Kidou-kun" commented the other young man trying to smile, hoping to maintain a facade of good vibes despite his stormy interior at that moment.
Kidou Yuuto, shrugged, the papers he was reviewing so eagerly were completely forgotten in his hand.
"Six years and four months."
Fudou Akio blinked in surprise at that fact, not because he didn't know it himself but because his former friend kept the account so meticulously. He laughed, trying to ward off the nervousness and tightness, and rubbed the back of his neck.
"How quickly time passes" his green eyes let out a sad flash, he looked up and tilted his head slightly, trying not to think about how his stomach contracted when he heard the voice so serious and deep that Kidou had developed during those years. Why did he have to meet him just that day of all the days of the year?
The young man in a suit took a deep breath and muttered something that was not fully understood, he put on his glasses and with a soft voice that perfectly masked his nerves on the surface, he asked.
"Do you want to take a drink with me, Akio?"
That question caught the young brunette completely off guard, who could not react in time to prevent it from being noticed, his ears rose in color and Kidou allowed himself a slight smile, remembering the many times he had witnessed those blushing ears for years.
"Everything is closed at this hour" Fudou mused without wanting to answer yet, it was difficult for him to be honest with himself, the easiest thing would be to run away, to stay was to face decisions that he had long regretted.
"Nearby there is a club that is open until dawn" answered the other without getting upset.
The green eyes closed for an instant and he sighed heavily.
"I have a better idea, around the corner there is a store that is open 24 hours, we can buy something there and sit in the Inazuma Tower Park, it is not far."
Kidou scrutinized Fudou's face, slightly frowned, and nodded.
"Fine."
Because even though he didn’t feel like staying outside, it was the only way he could gain more time with that person. Without a doubt, Fudou was still Fudou, with him he always had to expect the unexpected.
The two young men immediately arrived at the little store in question and bought a couple of cans of drink that the young man with glasses insisted on paying for. When Kidou left he couldn't help but think that this was far from being the elegant club to which he would have preferred to take his friend, quality drinks, crystal glasses, dim lighting and background music. And despite everything the situation was as intense as the sea green eyes that at that moment were looking at him from the corner of their eye, secretly, as if they wanted to treasure the moment with their entire being; but that when discovered they fled immediately.
They reached the dark park in a matter of minutes, barely exchanged a few words during the journey. The streetlights barely kept the night at bay, and the weather-worn benches loomed gloomy and lonely before them.
Fudou did not hesitate to sit in one of them, away from the entrance of the park and protected from the gaze of people who would not appear. Habits that never died, Kidou supposed. He obediently followed him and sat next to him. After a few moments of silence, he took one of the drinks out of the recycled plastic bag where he carried them and offered it to Fudou with a smile.
"Let's toast."
A laugh broke the melancholy, his amused green eyes accepted the proposition with the metallic click of the cans opening.
"What do you suggest?"
Kidou smirked and offered him the can to toast.
"For us, because our paths crossed again, for you to have a good birthday and so many others."
The brunette boy went white for a moment, then joined his can with Kidou's.
“My birthday… Do you remember? After so much time?"
Kidou's smile widened and he leaned back on the bench taking a swig of the drink.
"Always."
The young brown-haired man was stunned for a moment, the can trembling subtly in his hands, when he looked up at his old friend.
"Thanks."
Kidou laughed heartily and shrugged, his papers were left behind on the side of the bench. He put his free hand to his eyes and lowered his glasses, putting them in his jacket pocket. Fudou looked at him avidly, those red eyes had always driven him crazy and he saw immediately that he was no different then, his body trembled and a strong heat invaded him suddenly. He silently cursed for being so pathetic, he could not continue with Kidou, if he continued sitting on that bench everything would fall and he would be exposed in a deplorable life and lack of joy.
"Despite the years you didn’t improve your sense of fashion, those glasses are horrible" observed Fudou placing a strategic mocking smile on his lips.
"So they say" the other young man replied without losing his composure "But they were a gift from Haruna and I treasure them."
The brown-haired young man sipped his drink in a tense pause, tense as their relationship always was. Reliable, intimate, passionate; tense in the secrets they both kept, in the impulses that ran through their bodies, in the words they never said.
"What are you doing here Kidou?" Before the appellee could say anything about having a drink with him, Fudou hastened to add "Someoka told me that you were living in Italy."
A note of sadness and nostalgia entered Fudou's voice that the other young man immediately caught.
“That's right, I'm studying in Italy; but my father got very sick ... "
" My condolences. "
"He is not dead!" growled Kidou "He is awaiting an emergency surgery, when everything is fine I will leave again, meanwhile I help him in Kidou Corporations."
"I see" Fudou frowned and took another sip of his drink feeling suddenly sullen, that was silly. That meeting would only make the separation he was used to more painful. A new wound on his chest.
The red-eyed young man did not miss Fudou's change in mood and sighed rubbing his eyes.
"How is life for you, Akio?"
The young man's green gaze splashed at him, then he straightened up again and leaned back on the bench with a casual attitude, but his voice was so laden with sarcasm that Kidou raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Wonderfully."
"What happens?" he asked with concern.
Fudou groaned, rubbed his already disheveled hair and looked back at him with eyes so intense that Kidou felt his stomach lurch.
“Nothing… I'm just saturated with the work and the Thesis. But soon I will present it and I will be free. "
Kidou was even more surprised by that, Fudou was too young to have reached the Thesis level, he himself had not finished his university degree yet.
"What have you studied?"
"Aerospace engineering."
Kidou's mouth opened wide, that career was very complicated, Fudou frowned when he noticed the other's puzzled expression.
"Hey, hey. That surprise is offensive to me."
Kidou shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Sorry, it's just that ... you ..."
That bothered Fudou even more, who pursed his lips until they lost their color.
"Me what?" he asked with a hint of danger in his voice.
Kidou's face reflected for a moment a sad grimace and he looked down.
"You are amazing, as always."
Fudou's anger immediately dissipated like a haze in the sun and was replaced by a strong heat in his face and a slight feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Nonsense" he stammered, showing that despite that he was pleased by those words.
Kidou smiled and reached out to touch his shoulder, something that made Fudou's ears turn even redder.
"When do you present the Thesis?"
"In two weeks."
"Can I go see you? I will still be in Japan."
Fudou's body shook with a chill, as if a draft of cold air had gone through it.
"So that? You will not understand anything, it will be very boring. "
"But I’ll see you again."
Fudou grumbled something, but Kidou wasn't able to understand it; He just kept smiling until after rolling his eyes and letting out another grunt, the brunette young man gave him the information of when and where he had the presentation of his Thesis.
After a while of silence in which they almost finished their drinks that got cooler, Fudou looked at Kidou again.
“And how are you doing? Someoka also told me that you were getting married."
That question was something that really bothered Fudou, how stupid, after all there was nothing to do. However… His fingers tightened around the can, it was late he thought, always late.
Kidou choked on the drink and began to cough, his face blue and his eyes unfocused, Fudou realizing he leaned over him to pat him on the back and help him spit out the liquid. When Kidou recovered, he gave a long hiss and wiped the corner of his mouth with a handkerchief.
“It was my father's idea and there was a time when I ended up believing it was a good one. But one day something happened and I realized that if my father wanted to win a business partner through an arranged marriage, I could satisfy him simply by offering a good business alliance. I don't want to marry a person I don't love, be forced to live with someone just for financial gain, just for running away from my real feelings."
Fudou opened his eyes in surprise, his pupils dilated and suddenly feeling a lightness of mind take over him. Maybe it wasn't that late? Right away he answered himself, it was useless to have strange ideas, their relationship had died out like the dinosaurs did, and he was responsible for it. Why then was he still so hopelessly attracted to Kidou? Why didn't his heart obey the commands of his reason? It was a loss of hope.
"Sounds logical" Fudou smiled "What made you change your mind?"
Kidou was silent for a few seconds, when he spoke a slight blush covered his cheeks.
“Almost three years ago I was reading the Japanese newspaper like every morning and a news caught my attention. A photo in which it was said who was the winner of the CXLVIII National Competition for Young Promises in Science."
The young man paled and flushed in equal parts when he heard that answer, he felt a lump in his throat and suddenly the saliva had become thick and he seemed unable to swallow without thinking. In his stomach a bottle, no, ten bottles of champagne seemed to have been uncorked.
"That year, that year I won ..."
"I know."
Fudou didn't understand, why? Why were they still connected? Why did they keep spinning around each other in an eternal dance? He had decided to put an end to their relationship, it took him a lot of time, effort and tears to believe that he was forgetting Kidou, why did he have to return to his life? Why did it have to be shown that their relationship continued without a dent? Why couldn't they be two mere strangers in the vast universe of their desolation?
He fell silent, overwhelmed by the force of his partner's decision, then looked up again and asked in a soft voice.
"How is Italy?"
"Very pretty" Kidou observed Fudou, that face that moved him inside like a gale, that sharp smile that so many times led him to situations outside of logical sense, those cheeks dyed with a soft blush that made him wake up at night, those eyebrows ready to show their cynicism in the most unexpected situations, those eyes that threw him out of time "But why tell you when you can see it for yourself."
Fudou shook his head and leaned back on the bench.
"If I had so much money I would have already gone."
Kidou's red eyes flashed in surprise, his ears turned red.
"To visit Someoka?"
The other young man laughed, as if he found this the funniest comment in the world.
"I don't have to cross half the planet to see Someoka, every time he returns to Japan we meet and catch up."
"I understand."
"No, Yuuto. You don't understand," Fudou answered sharply, squeezing his can and throwing it with such accurate aim at a trash can several meters away that it made Kidou let out an admiring murmur "You don't understand."
A provocative smile appeared on Kidou's lips.
"Do I not? I thought it would be to try to see me."
Fudou's face rose so quickly in color that Kidou laughed, it seemed like they had put him to toast. He knew immediately that he hit the point.
"Of course not! Don't think you're so important Mr. Know-It-All! I’ve been told that it is a very beautiful place and… stop laughing!"
But Kidou couldn't stop laughing, happy as a bell ringing in the wind.
When he calmed down he took another gulp of his drink hearing Fudou protest, suddenly thoughtful. There was something that weighed on him about all this and he wanted to ask it before Fudou decided it was better to leave. He tapped his can a few times.
"Why did you break up with me, Akio? And don't tell me it was natural because I know it wasn't."
A flash of frustration, fear and anger lit up Fudou's eyes as if he had fallen in the middle of the sea in a fierce storm. There it was… The thing he didn't want to face. That which ate at him, that which did not heal in his heart.
“No, there is no reason… It just happened. We had to move to Ehime to take care of my grandmother and…"
"Akio, it hurts me that you try to lie to me in such a stupid way. I don't know if you have ended up believing that nonsense; but it is not the truth."
The young brown haired man lowered his gaze, the truth was so harsh, the truth was so cruel. His hands clenched into a fist of anger.
"The truth, how dangerous and hypocritical."
"Akio ..."
He sighed heavily, almost as if he was groaning in pain.
"Okay ... The truth is I didn't want to see you again."
Kidou raised his eyebrows, knowing that although it was true it was a false truth, but then something crossed his mind again, the true truth that he had suspected for a while. His expression tightened with anger.
"What did my father tell you?"
Fudou shuddered on the bench and shrugged in on himself. Kidou knew he was hitting it again, a furious buzz rising in his stomach.
"It wasn't just your father ... Everyone was furious with me after you almost died because of me, including myself."
Kidou felt the heat leave his body suddenly, his voice sounded cold and hard.
"Listen, idiot, first of all it wasn't your fault and secondly I didn't die, I just broke my leg and ..."
He trailed off when he saw how fast tears formed in Fudou's eyes.
“It was my fault, I always made you do stupid and dangerous things. And on that occasion I realized what I was doing to you... What would have happened if you had died? What if because of my fault you had to stop playing football? I was a poison to you."
"Akio! Hey, it's true that you were reckless all the time and I was foolish for listening to you; but nothing ever happened to us because of your ideas... "
"Until it happened! "
"That was different! You were trying to save a poor cat!"
"And I ended up putting you in danger."
"Be all the stupid you want but I do not regret at all that you decided to jump to save him, nor that I jumped to catch you when you slipped. It was a life, and surely he would have died if it weren't for you, not to mention what could have happened to you if I hadn't jumped too."
Fudou sobbed remembering the moment, the little animal shuddering in his arms after the blow, the momentary sense of relief before discovering his friend lying on the ground unconscious and in a pool of blood. The nausea, the dizziness, the tears, the despair.
"I'm sure the cat's fine now and happy to be able to continue living wherever it is" tried to comfort the red-eyed young man.
"Surely he does, he lives like a king, part of my salary goes to his maintenance."
"Did you keep it… him?"
The brown-haired young man nodded and wiped away his tears.
"His name is Mr. K and now he is a fat and affectionate cat."
Kidou rubbed his forehead in dumbfoundedness, despite knowing that he was again diverting the subject he really wanted to talk about, he couldn't help asking in amazement.
"Mr. K? "
"Yes, Mr. K. Mr. K from Kidou, from Kageyama, from Kill... You can choose the one you prefer."
Kidou smiled then, it was not a happy smile, it was a sad, nostalgic and sad smile.
“If you didn't want to leave, why did you do it? Do you really think that between you and soccer, I would choose soccer?"
"I couldn't bring you anything good, that day was clear. I was bad for you."
"I think it would be fairer to let me decide that, I don't think the same."
"Anyway, it's late."
Kidou stirred on the bench, he didn't agree with that either. He had been yearning for years to meet Fudou again, he was not going to allow to lose him again, not after he had met him so fortuitously.
“It is not, Akio. Let's get back in touch. Come ... come with me to Italy when you finish the Thesis."
Sadness immediately flooded Fudou's face, his eyes came back to flooding with tears. He couldn't, the decision was made a long time ago.
"Listen, Yuuto. You are a brilliant, wonderful person. You have to succeed and be happy, and I can’t help with this, I’m just a burden for you."
Kidou's pupils contracted.
“You are not a burden, Akio. Besides, I'm not happy without you."
"Don't talk nonsense, you'll be better without me."
Fudou frowned and jumped to his feet, but Kidou quickly grabbed his wrist.
“Let me decide this time, I'm tired of others deciding what is better or worse for me; I am an adult who can make his own choices."
"You are not being logical."
"When have I been with you?"
Fudou's lips were white, his face had an unnatural rigor, and his chest hurt so much that it seemed like it was going to explode at any moment. He let go of Kidou's hand knowing that it was the last mooring that prevented the ship from entering the sea of solitude.
"Goodbye, Yuuto. Take care of yourself."
Fudou didn't turn his head, he didn't look back. Because if he did he knew he couldn't hold his composure any longer. Each step he took hurt him as if he were walking on blades, his knees were weak but his gaze remained fixed in the distance, completely convinced that it was the best for the person he continued to love. Tears ran down his face with the bitterness of heartbreak.
Kidou stood still in the gloom, watching how the figure of that young man disappeared in the same darkness that surrounded him. He knew it was useless to chase him; but he had never had anything so clear as that, he would not allow their paths to separate again, not after having found him again, not after discovering that he still felt the same way for him as when he left, not after understanding the reason behind the acting of his friend, of that person he loved. How much would Fudou have tortured himself by blaming himself for the accident to decide to walk away from his life? How much would others have tortured him, blaming him for the accident so that he decided to leave his life?
He finished his own drink and threw the can into the trash. They would meet again. Fudou was a jerk if he thought he was going to give up. That he would be better without him?, hell no; he had already lived without him and was clear about what kind of life he preferred: the life where Fudou was by his side.