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The savage blaze tearing through her heart. ..
thick smoke filling her lungs...
rage and hatred razing her body, setting her ablaze, incinerating her organs....
she was burning, she was crumbling into ashes, she was on fire—
She woke up screaming and sodden in sweat.
The door to her quarters slid back violently as the flames in their candle holders sputtered and flickered, the shadows dancing on the walls.
"Your Majesty!"
The girl sobbed and sobbed as the maid hurried to engulf her in a hug, rocking and comforting her.
"There there, just a pesky nightmare...it's alright, it's okay...do you want me to get Jisoo?"
The girl's crying quietened even though her trembling didn't cease. "Isn't she asleep?"
"The light was on in her room when I was coming here. She must still be reading."
"Jennie?" called a new voice from the door, laced with concern.
Jennie's heart swelled in elation and she reached out to the silhouette. "Jichu..."
"Jisoo, where's your cane?" The maid said, stricken as she got off the bed and went to her side. "You can't keep running around without it like this, it will only—"
"You worry too much, I have many days ahead of me. I'm like a spring chicken you know," Jisoo said. Her smile was clearly visible in the gloom, but Jennie knew her well enough to detect the strain in her voice.
"Thank you Chahee," Jisoo nodded to dismiss to the maid. Chahee bowed and left, a small smile on her face as she slid the door shut. Jisoo turned to the girl still waiting with arms open. She gladly walked the last few paces to reach Jennie and wrapped her arms around the shivering girl, kissing her forehead.
"Jendeuk...you cried again..." Jisoo said gently. The other girl nodded against her shoulder, breathing deeply in the crook of her neck.
"And you came here without your cane in the middle of the night...again," Jennie muttered.
She felt Jisoo chuckle against her.
"Guilty, but no regrets," Jisoo grinned. "I would climb mountains and swim rivers for you, you know that. Coming here without a cane is nothing."
"I know. You already did climb mountains and swim rivers for me," came the other girl's muffled reply and her arm momentarily tightened around Jisoo's waist.
Jisoo drew back and cupped Jennie's face as she sat on the bed, eyes turning serious. "Jen, this is the third time this week. They're getting more frequent and not letting you rest. I couldn't sleep knowing at any given time, you'll be plagued by those troubling visions..."
Jennie lowered her head, guilty for worrying Jisoo but the older was quick to catch on to her thoughts.
"I don't mind staying awake for you, love," Jisoo whispered, wiping away the tear streaks with the pads of her thumbs, "if anything, it's a perfectly valid excuse for me to come spend the night with you. But to see you so troubled over something like this...it hurts me knowing I'm powerless to ease your pain—"
"No, you're not!" Jennie burst out, taking Jisoo by surprise. "With just your presence, I already feel better. Please stop saying that. I'm alright, I'm not hurt. I'm controlling the dreams as much as I can. But the fire....it burns."
She hugged herself, her gaze wandering out of the window. "There's so much hatred and...and rage in them, whoever they are. Jisoo, it feels like I'm choking up, like I'm being suffocated. It's too strong sometimes...I think they are growing aware of their power too, I've been thinking that's the reason I'm having nightmares more often."
Her jaw clenched and her tired eyes met Jisoo's worried gaze. "What if...what if I'm not strong enough? What if my soulmate brings chaos and I'm powerless to stop him once we find him?"
"You've been training."
"Yes but still, he's so strong, maybe even stronger than me, I can feel it—"
"You've been training," Jisoo said stubbornly, "there's no way you won't be able to hold your own against him, whoever he is. Believe in yourself, Jen."
Jennie turned away, unconvinced. What if she was too weak to protect her subjects?
It was always the same questions running through her head, keeping her awake at night even though Jisoo did her best to dispel her doubts.
Speaking of which, Jisoo's face was stoic as usual when the soulmate was mentioned, but Jennie spotted the displeasure in Jisoo's quick pout, the brief clench of their interlocked fingers, the slight twitch of her shoulder...
Much like the books she enjoyed poring over well into the small hours of the morning, Jisoo was an open book to her lover as well. Despite her predicament, Jennie couldn't help but smile. She yawned and decided to let go of her worries—now that Jisoo was here, the nightmare and sensation of being burned alive had already faded to the deep recesses of her mind.
She lay on her back and patted the pillow next to her. "Care to stay the night?"
She chuckled as the other girl quickly flung off her slippers, slipped out of her hanbok and climbed into bed without further ado.
Jisoo undid her silky raven-black hair from the pins, letting it stream freely over her shoulders and down her back in long waves as she flopped down on the mattress, with her arm immediately finding a home around Jennie's waist, snug and cosy.
Jennie loved combing Jisoo's hair, even when she didn't have a comb to do it. Seeing her lover relax beneath her touch was very satisfying. The cold moonlight splashed across Jisoo's flesh making her take on a statuesque appearance, ethereal in slumber. Her heart-shaped lips were slightly parted, entrancing Jennie.
"Do not speak of your ring soulmate," Jisoo grumbled at length, eyes still closed.
Jennie could only shake her head. "Aren't you forgetting the magic words?" she teased.
Some more grumbling ensued before Jisoo exhaled. "Please refrain from speaking about rings and soulmates, Princess."
Jennie leaned in and kissed Jisoo's forehead, deducing the real reason behind Jisoo's huffy act. It was always the same reason whenever those two topics had been brought up in conversation.
She now leaned in close to soothe her lover as she had done many times before, but it wouldn't hurt to give her a little reminder.
"I won't love anyone but you, and I won't marry anyone but you," Jennie whispered tenderly, "and if I can't marry you, then no one else will have me, but you. It doesn't even matter who my ring soulmate is. And you know why?"
She smiled to herself as she tucked a lock of hair behind Jisoo's ear, sensing the other girl holding her breath in anticipation.
"It's because you are my true soulmate," Jennie said in a low voice. "The ring's soulmate, the second soul that resides in me...that's someone else, someone's reincarnated essence. I may be a slave to its magic, but I vow to never be a slave to any destiny prerequisted of me by some ancient deity...."
Jisoo was listening with eyes wide open now, watching as Jennie's declaration came to a close.
Wordlessly, their hands slid across the negligible space between them and intertwined in the middle, fingers locking tightly once again.
Jennie's heart ached seeing the insecurity gleaming in the other girl's eyes, reflecting candlelight.
She knew of the doubts that riddled Jisoo's heart like poisonous arrows.
By Goryeo's law, their love was forbidden and considered a crime more heinous and repulsive than murder.
For years, they had consorted with each other secretly—only a select few were privy to the true nature of their bond that went deeper and beyond mere friendship. The revelation of their illicit relationship would definitely cause an uproar, especially amongst the royal court.
Add to that cheerful mix the not-so-small issue of Jennie's body hosting a second soul of some powerful ancient deity searching for its lost soulmate, and their stars looked definitely crossed.
Jennie leaned in until their foreheads touched, their breaths playing a game of push and pull in the intimate space they shared in the darkness.
"My own soul— the soul that belongs to princess Jennie—that soul sees its equal in you, Kim Jisoo. And no one— no man, no law, no divine being—will ever make me give you up."
"That's sweet and all," Jisoo said wistfully, "but did I mention I'm craving chicken?"
Jennie smacked her.
The other girl yelped as she tumbled out of bed to land with a splat on the ground.
"Can't you be serious for one moment? I was confessing my undying love for you!" Jennie groaned, burying her face in the pillows as heat flared up across her cheeks. "Sometimes I wonder how I fell for such an idiot..."
"Would you like me to remind you?" Jisoo winked from her spot on the floor before launching into her story: "It was a balmy summer evening when young princess Jennie—"
"Oh I remember clear as day, Chu," came the disgruntled reply and Jisoo chuckled.
"You love me, and I don't blame you. I mean, I am quite a sight to behold—"
"You vain peacock," Jennie mumbled, "and here I thought I was allaying my love's woes."
Jisoo's face cleared. "Oh! You must have mistaken my beseechingly famished expression for woe! My apologies, Princess—"
She dodged as a pillow missed her shoulder by fraction. "We need to work on your aim Prin—OOP!"
Jennie did a victory dance on the bed as Jisoo went down with a pillow to the face. "Ha! How does it feel to be hit, General?"
Her triumph didn't last long before she was hit with the same missile she threw at Jisoo.
"I could ask you the same, your Highness," Jisoo grinned as Jennie sat up again, spluttering. "Shall I bring you some vittles from the kitchen and we'll have a little midnight snack? I hope they didn't feed the left-overs to the dogs—"
"There's always left overs Chu," Jennie sighed, "I make sure of it, to keep your ravenous appetite at bay. How can you even eat fowl practically every day?"
"Chicken is good for you," Jisoo laughed, the sounds caressing Jennie's ears and filling her with warmth.
The princess sat up properly, concern etched on her face again. "You didn't hurt your leg, did you? Come back to bed."
"By the gods, you people must think I'm made of porcelain," Jisoo groaned, "it's been years already, I fall down plenty times every day and I'm still right as rain. I'm the Clumsy General after all!"
"Well excuse me for caring about your well-being, General," mocked the princess, "should I get rid of the cane too, while we're at it?"
"If only..." came the wistful answer.
Jisoo fell quiet and Jennie faltered, realising she had hit a nerve.
"Chu, I—"
"It's alright," Jisoo said lightly as she plopped herself down on the edge of the mattress. She cleared her throat. "Let's talk about other things."
Jennie tilted her head with interest. "What is it going to be tonight? A lecture on Daoism? The principles of Confucianism? Some new folk tale? I loved the legend of Jwigmi."
She enjoyed listening to Jisoo—the girl was a learned woman. Her military prowess and bookworm tendencies made her an intelligent and sharp court official, as well as entertaining company during banquets. People crowded around her to be regaled with tales from faraway lands and distant times, or else to discuss political insights and military accomplishments.
Jisoo winked. "Even better."
She reached out to cup Jennie's cheek, brushing the pads of her thumbs along the soft skin.
"By the gods, you're so beautiful. An exquisite, pure gemstone dropped down from the heavens itself to bless this wretched world," she said fondly, grinning when she felt Jennie's face heat up beneath her fingertips. "Then when you smile...I am rendered utterly speechless by your divine magnificence, I am blinded by your dazzling radiance. You are the stars in human form—"
"Eloquent flattery won't get you anywhere," Jennie said primly. "I'm still mad at you for making light of my confession to you. Away with your face, I'm going back to sleep. You can go back to your books, they seem to keep you company well enough."
"Jendeukie you just asked me to stay a few moments agooooo," Jisoo whined, giggling when Jennie cringed. "Hey, at least we got that pretty smile back on, love. I was only trying to take your mind off things."
She sobered up and took Jennie's hand, pressing the knuckles to her beating heart. "Thank you, for your love," Jisoo said quietly. "I'm the luckiest woman alive to have that. I go to sleep every night dreaming of announcing to the whole world that I'm yours, that you own me—body, mind, soul..."
Jennie nodded, for Jisoo had spoken about such dreams many times. Jennie herself shared such fantasies of being free from the tedious shackles imposed on them by a narrow-minded society.
"As long as we have our love, nothing will be too hard to overcome," Jisoo whispered as she brought Jennie's knuckles to her lips and kissed them tenderly, "no ring nor reincarnated soul will stand in my way to love you, Jendeuk. No army, no king, no god. You know that. I am wholly yours."
Jennie did know that, and she smiled gratefully as she leaned in to kiss the other woman in haste before Jisoo's impish side made an appearance and interrupted the mood again. Her eyes fluttered close when she saw Jisoo's own eyelids slid shut—
"So, about those chicken leftovers?" Jisoo asked, a hair's breadth away before their lips met.
Jennie groaned exasperatedly. "I'll ring for Chahee in a moment if you'll just shut up and kiss me—"
Her lips were immediately captured by Jisoo's, the welcome warmth coursing through her veins as Jisoo kissed her firmly and pulled her closer from her waist. Jennie arched against her, hands knotting in Jisoo's hair as they kissed, mouths moving languorously slow to savour this sacred moment of two hearts beating as one.
For mere seconds, Jennie forgot she was a princess with terrible powers that she didn't quite understand, because for a few seconds her heart was soaring as Jisoo's scent and Jisoo's warmth consumed her being.
They pulled apart for air and paused, panting slightly out of breath, their gazes heavy with longing. Jennie's face was on fire, but this was a different fire than the terrible inferno of her dreams.
Jennie reached out for the small bell sitting on her bedside table to ring for her maid as she promised. "Let me call—"
She squeaked when Jisoo pushed her down on the mattress without warning, knocking the bell to the ground with a sharp clang. The movement was so sudden the remaining candle flames went out, casting the room in darkness except for moonlight streaming in through the window.
Both froze in position, but Chahee thankfully did not show up.
Jisoo quickly turned her attention back to brunette beneath her—she pinned the princess's arms above her head as she straddled Jennie.
Heat simmered in Jennie's gut when she looked up into the General's smouldering gaze, holding her breath as Jisoo dipped closer and closer. Jennie grew suddenly aware of the undressed state they were both in, with a mere thin slip separating their bodies, and she blushed furiously. Jisoo seemed to notice as well—her grin widened.
Their combined breathing was deafening to Jennie's ears and she briefly wondered if they could be heard from all over the palace grounds.
But her thoughts were obliterated the moment Jisoo's lips started trailing along her jaw, burning kisses into the feverish skin. Nothing mattered anymore other than Jisoo's touch, which Jennie craved like a parched man in the desert craves water.
"Forget the chicken," Jisoo croaked as she sat back, her husky voice sending a shiver down Jennie's spine. "My desire for you is greater than my hunger for food. I could ravish you right now."
Jennie smirked. "Go ahead then."
She giggled when Jisoo groaned.
"Don't tempt this poor subject of yours or I might get carried away, your Majesty."
"You'll take me right here, in my royal quarters? My my, General, how scandalous."
The implication excited Jennie, with a fresh tingling sense of anticipation sparking and crackling at the back of her skull only for it to fizzle out when Jisoo resumed with her delicate kisses down the princess's throat.
"Sorry, my love. Another time," Jisoo whispered contritely. "We cannot afford to take risks."
Jennie sighed; Jisoo was right of course.
They had to be vigilant and careful about their actions, more so during their official duties in the morning in the presence of several officials, frequently joined by court visitors from the Royal Palace. It was a daily torture, being in each other's presence, so tantalisingly close, without even being allowed to touch or sneak a chaste kiss. They didn't dare fraternise in broad daylight.
For crying out loud, even an innocent cheek kiss had some of the officials present raising bushy eyebrows and squinting disapprovingly.
The princess' residence was a treacherous place to consummate their love. Although Jennie trusted her subjects innately, Jisoo was far more wary of lurking informants reporting back to the Royal Palace in Goryeo's Capitol on the mainland.
Thus the two lovers had to be content with nightly meetings and steamy kissing sessions in Jennie's chambers. Jisoo had impeccable self-discipline which Jennie knew she should be thankful for, but at times it was exasperating to be on the brink of losing themselves in pleasure, only for Jisoo to tug them back up to the surface of lucidity.
Jisoo seemed to be in a particularly affectionate mood tonight though, Jennie reflected absently as the other girl nosed along the slope of her throat, whispering her name reverently like a prayer.
Not that she was complaining about being pampered, but Jennie wanted to do her part too. She wanted to hug and kiss and touch Jisoo but unfortunately, her arms were still trapped in Jisoo's grip above her head.
Jennie made a small disgruntled noise at the back of her throat, catching Jisoo's attention.
"My arms are tired, can I hug you?" Jennie asked plaintively.
Jisoo smiled widely as she released the princess and rubbed feeling back into her wrists. "I though you were never going to ask, love."
"You little tease. Come here." Jennie sighed as she pulled Jisoo down from her neck to connect their lips once more, eager for her lover's touch that set off firecrackers under her skin until she was blazing like a sun.
Jisoo broke the passionate lip-lock to nuzzle Jennie's nose. Her hot breath fanned the princess's face. "I missed you all day, Jendeuk. I couldn't even finish my food today because I was missing you so much."
"Good to know I hold a higher place in your heart than chicken," Jennie giggled. She closed her eyes and sighed, awash with bliss as the other girl kissed the pulse point beneath her ear repeatedly.
As long as we're together, Jisoo whispered. She hovered over Jennie, nothing but pure adoration reflecting in her eyes.
Nothing can stand against us, Jennie whispered back. Her fingers locked behind Jisoo's nape and her toes curled in pleasure when her lover's hands slipped beneath the thin material covering her legs and slid up her thighs, teasingly slow. Jisoo smiled brightly and bent her head.
Their lips met halfway and pressed together, moving in absolute harmony like a wave as Jennie lost herself in Jisoo's intoxicating kisses beneath a bright, round moon.