Work Text:
Adira’s hands were moving fast as they spoke, a nervous habit they picked up from school presentations on the generation ship and the United Earth Forces when everything had felt like it was in constant flux. Their eyes followed their hand movements and the ground, rarely looking at Book. Another nervous habit. It helped them focus on what was important . They were always a little more comfortable with the inside of a computer than conversations with another person.
(Gray kept trying to convince them that they weren’t nearly as awkward as they thought with other people, but the conversation always went back to how of course Adira wasn’t awkward with Gray; he’s Gray .)
Normally giving Book a tour of the spore drive would be Stamet’s job, but he had been running an errand when Book came down to engineering, and Adira knew what to tell Book about the area (they hoped). He had come down on Michael’s request that he familiarize himself with the spore equipment if he would have to pilot the ship again. (Adira could read a “when” implied in that sentence.)
The tour was going surprisingly well: at first, Book had seemed like the kind of adult who wasn’t interested in Adira’s opinions, making it clear he was coming in for business, and face betraying a small ray of surprise when it was the short teenager who was the one to offer him a crash course in the spore drive systems. Adira mentally braced themselves for the experiences they had first had with the United Earth Forces, underestimated and undervalued because of their age. But Adira could immediately see why he got along with Michael so well. He laughed at all Adira’s dumb jokes, nodded along with their rambling explanations and they could best describe his personality as “warm.”
Gray was following Adira a few steps behind. It was a lonely day and sometimes he appeared to them simply to have someone to be with. When he had first materialized, Adira was already giving Book a rundown on a control panel, so he kept a little distance. Even if he wasn’t talking to anyone, he liked to be around people, just to know he wasn’t alone. If Adira asked, he would be there to give them moral support, but for now, he liked to watch them work, talking passionately. It was amazing how much they had picked up in so little time on the new ship.
He was really proud of Adira, and they knew it, even if he had never told them.
“We’re running a state-of-the-art propulsion system here, not a zoo,” Stamet’s said as he came into the room, the edges of his voice brittle.
Before he spoke, Adira hadn’t really paid attention to Grudge. The cat had followed Book in, but they were too busy trying not to say the wrong thing to ask him to pet the cat (yet). She was curled up, scratching her head on… on Gray’s leg? Odd. Gray looked just as surprised as Adira was about the sudden presence, bending down once he saw the cat. Gray offered her his hand, and she happily tasted it, nuzzling Gray as if he had as much of a body as anyone else.
From the raised area of engineering dedicated to the ship’s basic functions and the -- after losing the majority of their dilithium to Osyrra, fairly abandoned -- warp core, Reno interjected, chewing aggressively as she called in Stamet’s vague direction, “What do I remember hearing about a tardigrade being housed here before I joined the crew?”
Stamets sighed, choosing not to respond to her observation directly, “What did I say about gum not being allowed here?”
“Hey! You’re only in charge of the spore drive. This is my side,” Jett shouted back, gesturing to a thin white tape line on the floor with “Paul’s area: Jett do not touch anything please. Or at least wash your hands before you get my work greasy :)” in neat handwriting next to an arrow pointing to Stamet’s side, and “Regular fucking physics here. Paul don’t cross the line with your crazy ideas.” in a messy scrawl pointing up to the soft glow of the warp core.
“Fine.” Stamets was in charge of spore drive operations, and Jett the normal engineering business (in her words “the important, not kookie stuff”), but the two had a strange teamwork dynamic that seemed aggressive at first but was oddly affectionate once you got to know them.
Book bent down, mumbling something about a queen in protest. As he was about to pick up Grudge, but paused in a crouch before touching her. He looked up, extending a hand towards Gray, “Hey. Sorry, didn’t see you when I first came in. You can call me Book.”
Gray’s eyes widened, glancing up to Adira, but they shook their head, shrugging. His voice hesitant, Gray responded, “Hey… I’m Gray. I… wasn’t here when you first came in.”
“Can you see Gray?” it was Stamets, taking a few steps towards Adira and Book (and Gray), his voice much quieter and his features softer than when he had first walked in.
The couple ensigns working quietly in their area of the room stayed silent, but Adira noticed the perking of their ears and flickering of their eyes to the scene. They had worked in engineering long enough to know the other cadets and ensigns there well, and most of them were a little apprehensive around Stamet’s harsher side.
“See?” Book looked between Stamets, Adira, and Gray. “I don’t know. It’s like there's a vague outline of someone, a presence, but I can’t quite make out exactly what they look like. There’s a haze covering them, but there’s definitely someone there. The more I think about it, they become more clear. But I’ve seen weirder aliens.”
Book shrugged, and as Adira and Gray locked eyes, smiling, he continued, “Wait -- I can see them better now. It’s because… because you’re thinking about them -- him. He’s Gray and… he’s your boyfriend?” -- he was looking at Adira, taking cues from their shy nod in return before turning to Gray -- “And you’re… surprised and… excited? I’m honored to be one of the first people to -- well not quite see you -- but something like that.”
“Didn’t Michael say you had some weird… empathy powers,” Paul was next to the three now, waggling his fingers for emphasis.
Book laughed, his voice deep, “Yea. I can sense his emotions. And maybe because Adira could sense him, was thinking about him, it was easier to see him? I’m not sure. They don’t exactly give you a handbook on trill metaphysics when you leave Kweijan.”
“And Grudge?” Adira asked, having knelt down while Book was talking to offer Grudge their hand too, leaning on Gray.
“Naw, she’s just a plain old cat. Nothing special ’bout her. Except her personality. She’s a queen. But no alien powers for her. I think animals are just more in tune to this kinda thing.”
---
Shore leave was a rare occurrence on Discovery, with Vance dragging them around the quadrant at a moment’s notice. The sphere data, however, had different plans, apparently startling the senior staff in the middle of a meeting with its announcement of the need for some time off. Docked at a nearby, mostly unpopulated class-M planet, the crew was given two days off duty to explore and take some much needed R&R. (Seriously, why didn’t Starfleet protocol call for giving crews at least a day off to process the trauma of jumping a thousand years in the future and being flung into a galactic conflict?)
Adira stood at the center of a whirlwind of movement in the cargo bay, the rest of the crew moving busily around them, pairing off into couples or groups carrying worn backpacks and passing sunscreen. They hadn’t been on the ship long, and other than Gray -- who had appeared next to them a few seconds ago, sensing something was wrong and holding their hand -- they didn’t really know anyone their age to go down to the surface with. Stamets and Culber were great, but they were more like dads to Adira than someone to tell stupid jokes to in the mud. Plus, they were pretty sure the two had plans for shore leave already. Plans that didn’t involve two teenagers tagging along.
“Hey, Adira!” a voice from across the room cut off Adira’s thought. It was Book, hand waving as he weaved through the crowd towards them, draggin Michael behind him. “You okay? You don’t seem like you’re having the best time.”
Right. Kweijan empathy powers. Of course. After first figuring out he could sense Gray, Book spent a bit of free time with the two, sometimes translating for Gray during meetings or asking Adira and Gray to petsit Grudge while he was on an away mission. But that didn’t mean it got any less unnerving when Book was reading Adira’s emotions.
As the two reached Adira and Gray, Adira shrugged, “We’re used to just hanging out together on the generation ship, but with everyone beaming down in large groups it feels a little… overwhelming and lonely.”
Gray squeezed their hand in response, a strained smile on his lips. He didn’t need to be Kweijan to be attuned to Adira’s emotions.
“You can come down with us,” Michael said, coming up next to Book. She was wearing olive cargo pants with torn edges that made the pants seem like they had been worn for a year straight (which, to be fair, they could have been) and a sleeveless black top that hugged her body in a way that looked a little uncomfortable to Adira. “We’re just planning on going on a small hike near the beam down site, maybe go swimming. Book knows a lot of the wildlife here, but I want to stay close enough to the ship in case of an emergency. Captain’s duty.”
“You sure? We wouldn’t be… intruding on anything?” Adira looked between the two, Gray nudging them with an approving smile and a nod, his way of silently telling them to accept the offer. Michael’s eyes lit up at the use of “we,” looking next to Adira.
Book laughed, “No, no, of course you’re welcome. We had a year to be obnoxious together. We can act civil.”
“Wait,” Michael put her hand out. “Is Gray there? Book and Hugh told me that he’s still… sort of there.”
The other two nodded, and Michael smiled, “It’s good to meet you again, Gray.”
Gray and Adira locked eyes in response, grinning. The four moved to the transporter pad, falling in line with the rest of the crew. The planet they had stopped at was known for its rich deciduous forests and animal life, but they didn’t find any intelligent life -- at least not by the federation’s measurements. Perfect for the crew to romp around without a care in the world.
Once Michael, Book, Adira, and Gray (who appeared again next to Adira a few moments after they beamed down) were planetside, the two teens were overwhelmed by the planet. They were surrounded by tall fronds and bright yellow arthropods already crawling on Adira’s shoes. It was as if someone had turned up the saturation on an Earth forest. Adira and Gray took a few minutes to just take it all in, looking around themselves. Growing up on a generation ship, they hadn’t really gotten much of a chance to be outside, not in a holodeck but really outside in nature for a while. Even when Adira was with the United Earth Forces, they hadn’t gotten the chance to explore their homeworld, mostly bound to trainings and work on low-orbit stations. Gray always had a green thumb, and tried to blend the line between technology and the natural world by scraping together some credits to purchase some artificial plants for his quarters from Trill, but it didn’t really prepare them for how itchy it was to be outside with small bugs flirting by Adira’s head and shoulders.
Once Michael comm’d Tilly -- she had left her first officer in charge of the crew who choose to stay on the ship that day -- to make sure the officers beaming down were all safe, the four of them headed off towards a small lake they had seen on scanners. It wasn’t a long hike, but Book made sure they stopped every couple meters to make friends with a bright orange salamander or help a crumpled fiddlehead to stand up. Michael kept a slow pace, seemingly used to Book’s outdoor priorities.
The four talked about everything and nothing, Adira and Gray hanging onto every word of Michael and Book’s stories about their year in space before Discovery came through time. Book and Adira translating for Gray, Michael and Book seemed equally eager to hear about Adira and Gray’s life on the generation ship, although Adira wasn’t sure their late nights baking cookies were nearly as interesting as Michael breaking into an Orion prison camp.
Adira kept pointing to plants and animals they could best describe as purely alien and asking Book what they were, and he happily obliged, showing Adira how to pet the spiky mammal-like animal without getting hurt, how the color of the small grasses changed with heat. Adira and Gray loved to watch a lot of nature documentaries together on the generation ship, but being outside touching and smelling the world around them was more real, more personal.
Like Gray. He could only interact with Adira, like a holo-form of a person. It wasn’t as real, as personal as Gray being next to them on the generation ship, taking up space and just being there .
They reached the small lake they had been heading towards after a walk that seemed to go by in seconds and last forever. The four stood at the top of a tumble of boulders a spring came out of, with a narrow path leading down to a sandy edge of the lake. The lake shone a light purple, shimmering in the light. Next to the water, there was a patch of small vines, intertwined in a pair of helices. The tops of each vine branched off into soft feelers near the top, with a dark green cap at the top that bobbed up and down like a jellyfish.
“We’re going to head down there,” Michael gestured to the lake below. She was extending an invitation to Adira with her tone, but not requiring anything from the younger officer. It reminded Adira of when the two of them had been on Trill together. Michael hadn’t made them do anything, but facilitated their journey like an older sister Adira never had.
“I’m good here,” Adira smiled with their eyes. They wanted to give the two some space and just take some time to just exist outside, not moving fast.
Recognizing their genuine contentment, Book took the lead down the small path to the lake. Michael followed, the two pulled off an outer layer of clothing, wearing a thin black swimming layer into the water. The captain put her phaser on top of her discarded cargo pants and boots, just in case. As they watched Michael and Book wade slowly into the water, Adira kicked off their shoes and dug their toes into the cold soil. It felt like a deep sigh. Looking down from the small hilly outcropping of rocks they sat on, Adira saw Book pushing his girlfriend into the lake, her splashing him back with the lilac water. In a way, the two reminded them of Adira and Gray, a playful dynamic of understanding.
“It’s beautiful,” Gray said, taking a seat next to Adira, leaning against them, their hands lacing together. Adira sat on the edge of the rocks, swinging their legs lightly between the ledge of soil and free air above the lake. They raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything in response. Gray continued, “Everything, I mean. This new world we’ll probably never see again, presenting itself to us without any preconceptions. All the bright colors and strange sounds. All the small animals and the soft breeze against your hair. And… the community you’ve found. We’ve found. Michael and Book. I like them, and I’m glad you have them. It’s beautiful.”
Adira nodded in agreement, leaning their head against Gray’s shoulder below them, “You’re beautiful, too.”
He laughed, raising a hand to Adira’s cheek to give them a small kiss. It landed false, and they were both acutely aware of how Gray wasn’t really with Adira. They didn’t exist in the same way, not like they used to. They could speak to each other, see each other, touch each other, but their interactions were painted with a twinge of something not quite there.
The two sat there for a few moments in silence, just watching the small yellow bugs crawl against Adira’s legs, the splashes of water below them, the soft tickle of lichen beneath Adira’s hand. The lichen caught Adira’s attention, it’s rough edges sticking into Adira’s hand in a way that wasn’t uncomfortable, but not like the comforting touch of Gray’s hand and body against theirs, either.
Adira remembers Book talking to them about the lichens on the large rocks on Kweijan, and how similar they are to the species on Earth. Apparently, they were similar here too. Maybe they were just a universal element found on a lot of class-M planets, like water, or the ability to make fire. Convergent evolution on a bigger scale. Book said lichen were a superorganism of algae and fungi and sometimes bacteria. Algae photosynthesize for the fungal components of the lichen in exchange for using the fungal structure.
Adira glanced at Gray. He was petting one of the small yellow arthropods crawling on Adira’s leg, a warm smile on his face, eyes far away. The two of them were nestled together on the rocky outcropping above the lake, leaning on each other so that if one let go without the other, they’d probably go tumbling into the lake below. In a way, they were the same as the lichen beneath Adira’s hands. They relied on each other, both making each other better, and, with Tal between them, were literally as symbiotic.
Scientists haven’t been able to grow lichen from scratch in a laboratory even in a world with advances allowing teleportation and warp speed technology. It isn’t something replicable, not something you could find in a holonovel. They’re the first thing that grows after lava flow or a forest fire.
The connection between the two organisms is integral to life, and it’s the first thing to appear after death.
Adira closed their eyes, taking in the warmth of the sun on their face, smiling with their whole body and leaning more onto Gray for support. After lichen came the breakdown of rocks, and then more complex plant life. They'd find a way for Gray to flourish after death.