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When he finally awoke, Midoriya was back in his room, in his mother’s apartment. He sat up in his bed, groggy and confused, sure that he was supposed to be elsewhere.
“Izuku! You’re going to be late!” Inko called out from somewhere near the kitchen. Midoriya rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock. Late? Late for what?
The mission! He was supposed to be hunting down a villain with Bakugou!
But… He already had??
“What a strange dream.” Midoriya muttered, finally getting up from his bed and searching for his hero costume. When he couldn’t find it, he paused. “I could have sworn I left it here.” He muttered, rummaging through his things. The longer he stood there, the more confused he seemed to grow.
There was a knock at his door. Midoriya opened it and found his mother standing there, drying her hands with a small towel.
“Izuku, you’ll be late for school!” She insisted.
School?
But he was supposed to be on a mission… Maybe the mission was already over? Maybe the mission itself had been part of his dream?
What mission?
Midoriya glanced around the room. He could have sworn he had been looking for something.
“Yeah… School…” Midoriya muttered, turning to grab his uniform. Inko nodded, satisfied that he would get ready now, and left him to his privacy.
Midoriya grabbed his school uniform and stared at it. Something in his mind told him there was something wrong, something in his mind told him that he was forgetting something as he stared down at his dark middle school uniform.
“That dream…” Midoriya muttered quietly as he got ready for school.
The longer the day went on, the more out of place Midoriya felt. As the day passed, he noticed that he wasn’t in complete control of his actions. It was as if his body was following a predetermined path, as if he was being controlled.
On his way to school, Midoriya was able to witness an incident regarding a villain with a monster quirk. Kamui Woods had been at the scene, and Midoriya had gotten to witness a new hero’s debut. Her name was Mt. Lady. A kind man had wished Midoriya luck a becoming a hero. Though as these events happened, Midoriya’s unease only grew.
He couldn’t shake the sense that he was forgetting something, nor could he shake the feeling of constant déjà vu, as if he had already lived through this before.
At school, they had discussed their future as heroes. Bakugou had been harsh as always, though for some reason today his words felt more scalding than usual. They were like a slap to the face. Normally, Midoriya would have had no trouble brushing him off, but for some reason, now those words remained in his head.
After he left school, Midoriya found himself doubting his future as a hero. For a moment he wondered if everyone around him was right. He wondered if he should just stop aiming to be a hero and save himself the disappointment.
He didn’t have time to dwell on anything, however, because a villain attacked him at that moment. Everything seemed blurred to Midoriya, as if he was seeing his life through lens. It felt like a really bad, yet awfully realistic dream.
I’ve seen this before.
Was that what it felt like? Was that what people felt in their dying moments? Did they get an intense feeling of déjà vu? A sensation that there was something wrong, something missing?
Everything seemed to derail. Midoriya had no control over his body, he was just a spectator in his own life. While his mind had all but given up, his body still fought against the villain.
Through the haze, Midoriya noticed All Might arrive at the scene. Everything was a blur. The monster was gone. Everything felt strange. What was happening?
Midoriya tried to walk away. He tried to go back home, to debate whether he should still try to enroll at UA, debate whether he should just give up, be realistic, search for a new path. He tried to go back home so he could give up on his dream before it completely crushed him.
But his body remained rooted to the spot. He wanted to leave, but instead he found himself following All Might, latching himself onto the hero, stranding them both on a rooftop.
Why did I do that? I don’t want to be here. Please, I just want to go home…
He found himself having a conversation with All Might, he heard words he was sure he had heard before.
It’s not wrong to dream. However… You need to be realistic, kid.
No… Those words felt wrong… Why did they feel so wrong?
Why did it feel like those weren’t the correct words?
Midoriya heard other words, softly echoing in his mind before they faded into a silent breeze.
You can be a hero.
Those were the words Midoriya remembered. But why did he remember those words? All his life, no one had ever told him those simple words.
Without power, can one become a hero? No, I should think not.
No, those words were wrong… Why did they feel so wrong? Midoriya didn’t even notice as All Might left the roof. He found himself standing alone, confused.
‘This is wrong, this is wrong… Am I going insane?’
Suddenly, just as he questioned that, the strings snapped. Suddenly, Midoriya could control his actions again. But what did he want to do? Did he want to go back home and thing about his failure? Did he want to go think about the scalding words his idol had told him?
In the distance, he heard an explosion. Midoriya glanced at it. Some childish part of him wanted to go after it, to see which heroes would arrive at the scene.
But another part of him stopped him. There was no reason for him to go. It was no use. Just a waste of time like everything else he did.
Midoriya grabbed his Hero Analysis Notebook and stared at the charred cover.
What was he supposed to do?
Midoriya’s stomach dropped. Some primal instinct in him told him to get off the roof, that it was a dangerous place. He even began to move towards the roof access door. He needed to leave, he needed to leave now.
He didn’t understand why, but it was dangerous there and a part of him knew it.
You need to be realistic.
There is no hope.
I’m sorry, Izuku. I’m sorry!
What can you even do?
Midoriya took another step towards the roof access door. It felt like he was walking through sludge, like a dream, where space was just an illusion. He needed to get off the roof.
You’re totally quirkless.
“No, no…” Midoriya muttered, taking another step towards the door. His senses screamed danger; his instincts told him to run. “I need to get off this roof, something’s wrong…”
You wanna be a hero so bad?
No. No, no, no. He was almost to the door.
I’ve got a time saving idea for you.
Midoriya froze.
If you think you’ll have a quirk in your next life…
Midoriya slowly turned to the edge of the roof.
Go take a swan dive off the roof!
His mind quieted down. His instincts dulled, the voice in his head telling him to run faded into a faint static. Why had he felt so scared?
As if on a daze, Midoriya slowly walked to the edge of the roof. It was so simple; the answer was right there. What he had to do. For a fleeting moment he hesitated, worrying about what he would be leaving behind. But then everything faded into a steely calm. All he had to do was jump. That was it. Maybe not easy, but incredibly simple.
“Deku! Where have you been!?” A voice called. Midoriya tensed, his instincts told him to hide, to cower, to get away from the speaker.
He was so close… Another few steps and he would be at the edge…
“Oi, what are you doing?” The voice questioned. Midoriya glanced back and saw Bakugou approaching him. Midoriya immediately flinched and stepped back, nearing the edge of the roof. Once Bakugou noted this, he froze in his tracks. “Woah, it’s me. What are you doing here anyway? We need to get back!”
“You- You’re the one who told me to do it!” Midoriya said, taking another step towards the edge. Bakugou looked like he wanted to rush forward to stop Midoriya, but he was afraid of what would happen if he did. "I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore."
“Deku, what are you talking about? We’re going to be late-” Bakugou began, but his voice halted when he saw Midoriya take another step back. “Woah, hey, what the hell are you doing? Get away from the edge of the roof.”
“He told me I can’t be a hero.” Midoriya whispered.
“What?” Bakugou asked.
“I met All Might and he said I can’t be a hero!” Midoriya yelled, tears filling his eyes.
“Deku, what the hell are you talking about? Are you feeling alright?” Bakugou stayed still, worried that if he moved, Midoriya would get closer to the edge.
“How can you ask that!?” Midoriya yelled, taking a step closer to the edge. “Isn’t this what you wanted!?”
Bakugou stared at Midoriya, his confusion turning into realization.
“Wait, no. Deku, that was months ago! You have a quirk now, you made it into UA!” Bakugou explained. He went to take a step forward but froze when Midoriya mirrored his movement.
“Why are you saying these things? You’re not making any sense.” Midoriya said. He stepped up to the very edge of the roof.
“Izuku! Izuku, stop. Stop, please.” Bakugou stepped back, his voice trembling with barely restrained panic. “Listen to me, please. We’re on a mission to hunt an assassin. He uses his quirk to make people kill themselves, he was going to hit me with it, but you took the hit instead. None of this is real, please just step away from the edge.”
Midoriya stared at Bakugou silently.
“You have a quirk. You got into UA, you made it into the hero course, you got seventh place in the entrance exam. We’re in the same class, your hero name is Deku.” Bakugou explained, desperately hoping that it would help Midoriya remember.
“Why would I use that as my hero name?” Midoriya asked quietly, his voice defeated. “It just means useless…”
“Your friend told you it sounded like… Uh, she told you it sounded motivational or something, so you kept it! You decided that your ‘Deku’ wouldn’t mean useless anymore. Izuku, please, please let’s just talk this out.” Bakugou kept glancing between Midoriya’s face and his legs.
If Midoriya jumped, how long would it take Bakugou to get to the edge himself? Could he jump, grab Midoriya, and use his explosions to get them both to safety? What if he accidentally hurt Midoriya in the process?
It didn’t seem like he was getting through to Midoriya and it wasn’t like he could expect any sort of backup. Right now, Midoriya was in danger, and Bakugou was the only one who could help him. What a rotten situation.
“We’re on a mission?” Midoriya asked quietly.
“Yes!” Bakugou replied, grateful that Midoriya was at least listening to him. “Yes, we were on a mission and now that we’ve captured the villain, we need to go back to report.” He explained. “Look, look! I’m even wearing my hero costume! You’re wearing yours too!”
Midoriya narrowed his eyes. Both him and Bakugou were currently wearing their middle school uniforms. Why would he lie so boldly?
“Izuku…” Bakugou started, shutting his eyes. “Listen, I said very harsh things to you, I know I did. I said things that should never be said to a person, much less a friend. I was a terrible, terrible kid, and even now I’m not exactly the best person around. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I said, for everything I did, you deserved so much better!” Bakugou looked up at Midoriya, tears formed at his eyes. “But please! We need you. I need you!”
Midoriya glanced down at the ground below him.
It was so close.
He looked back up at Bakugou. “You said it was a quirk?”
“Yes, this isn’t really what happens today.” Bakugou explained, wiping angrily at his tears. “I got attacked by this sludge monster, somewhere over there…” Bakugou pointed in the general direction of the explosion Midoriya had seen earlier. Midoriya wondered if Bakugou couldn’t see the smoke rising from there. “You, you idiot, jumped to my aid. All Might saved us both.” Bakugou hesitated for a moment before continuing. “He gave you a quirk.”
“All Might… What?” Midoriya asked, which just caused Bakugou to throw his hands up in exasperation.
“I don’t know why he did it, but you have a quirk and you even have a provisional hero license!” Bakugou replied. “Either way, this isn’t how things are supposed to go. You’re strong, Izuku. You kept fighting against everything everyone threw at you, and you need to fight through this too. This isn’t real. You can be a hero!”
Those words… Words he had forgotten… They bounced around in his mind, becoming louder with each moment. Midoriya blinked. As if removing a filter, everything in his vision changed.
“Kacchan?” Midoriya asked, stepping away from the edge. His mind needed a second to catch up, to remember everything and differentiate it from what had happened through the haze of the quirk.
As soon as he realized the effects of the quirk had stopped working, Bakugou exhaled in relief and ran over to Midoriya.
“Don’t do that shit ever again!” Bakugou yelled angrily, ruffling Midoriya’s hair. “Had me worried for a minute there, nerd. Let’s go back to report!”
Bakugou jogged towards the door but paused when he saw that Midoriya wasn’t following. “What’s wrong?”
“Did you mean that?” Midoriya asked quietly, looking up at Bakugou. “What you said.”
Bakugou hesitated. “Which part?”
“All of it.” Midoriya replied.
Bakugou sighed and looked away, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. “Jeez, Izuku… Wasn’t hearing it once good enough for you?” He grumbled.
But he knew that it didn’t matter how many times he said it, he still couldn’t take back what he had done in the past.
“I meant every single word. I meant the apology, I meant it when I said you were strong and… The whole part about you being a hero…” Bakugou muttered, turning to Midoriya. “Now, for the love of God, can we please get off the roof, you’re going to give me a damn heart attack.”
Midoriya smiled and followed Bakugou towards the door. “Yea, yea. Let’s go, Kacchan.”