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The party had dwindled down and it was just the two of them left. They were huddled close on Bokuto’s bed, not talking, just laying in silence together.
“Hey,” Kuroo whispered. “I did get you a present, you know.”
Bokuto looked at him, his brows pinched in an adorably confused expression. “Really? Why didn’t you give it to me at the party?”
“I didn’t want your parents to see.”
Bokuto pursed his lips. “Did you get me a sex -- ?”
“Not that kind of present. Wait here.”
Kuroo sat up and scooted off the bed to stand on his feet. He ran into the bathroom and opened the cabinet under the sink. He smiled when he saw the grocery bag he’d stashed away in the back, then grabbed it. Bokuto was sitting up when he walked back into the bedroom, looking a mix of curious and excited. Kuroo hid his arms behind his back so Bokuto couldn’t see the bag.
“Close your eyes.”
Bokuto pouted, but did as he was told. Kuroo sat next to him and pulled the binder out of the bag. He tossed it aside, then placed the binder in Bokuto’s hands. “Okay, open.”
Bokuto opened his eyes and looked down. He studied the fabric between his fingers for a few seconds before it clicked. He stared at Kuroo with wide eyes.
“Is this… ?”
“Mhm.”
“How did -- when did you -- what?” Bokuto struggled to find any words. Kuroo chuckled at him.
“Stop asking me questions and put it on already.”
Bokuto stood up and started taking off his shirt. Kuroo flushed red from his cheekbones down to his neck and covered his eyes with a hand. “Give me a warning, Koutarou!”
“Oh, right. Sorry.” After a minute, Bokuto spoke again. “Okay, I’m done. I think.”
Kuroo slowly uncovered his eyes, still feeling hot. He looked down at Bokuto’s chest and his eyebrows shot up. “Wow, that thing really works. You look totally flat.”
Bokuto gave him a small, wondering smile. “Do I?”
“Yeah, yeah! Go look in the mirror.”
Bokuto glanced at his mirror, feet rooted to the ground, almost as if he was afraid. Letting out an annoyed huff, Kuroo stood and pushed him until he stood in front of it. He stayed behind him, letting his arms hang around his waist as he rested his head on his shoulder. Bokuto locked eyes with Kuroo in the mirror. He still looked scared, as if he didn’t believe Kuroo’s words.
“What’re you waiting for?” Kuroo encouraged.
Bokuto exhaled, then trailed his eyes down. They went wide again as they paused on his chest. With shaking hands, he reached up and ran his fingers down his front. He twisted his torso from one side to the other, taking Kuroo with him. When he faced the mirror again, he was smiling.
“I-I’m flat… I’m flat! Kuroo, I’m flat!”
“I know.” Kuroo couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Your tits fucking vanished, dude.”
Bokuto laughed a little too hard. His form shook from the force of it, jostling Kuroo. Kuroo chuckled into his neck. “It wasn’t that funny.”
Bokuto only responded by laughing more. When his giggles started sounding more watery and his breaths came in short, Kuroo lifted his head. Bokuto was crying -- no, sobbing was more like it. He was still smiling, but his lips were trembling. Kuroo flinched like he’d been hit and spun him around.
“Hey, are you okay? I didn’t offend you, did I? I’m sorry, I --”
Bokuto put a finger against his lips. “Shut up, you didn’t. I’m not crying because I’m sad. The total opposite, actually. I’m really, really happy, Tettsun. Thank you so much.”
Kuroo grinned against his finger. “Anything for my bro.”
Bokuto tugged him into a crushing hug. Kuroo nuzzled into his neck again. He pressed a kiss against it and Bokuto sighed, hugging him closer.
“What did I do to deserve someone like you?” He said it so quietly, Kuroo wasn’t sure he was meant to hear it. It made his heart flutter in his chest.
I feel like I should be saying that to you, he thought to himself. “Nothing but be yourself, bro.”
“That’s so gay.”
“I’ll have you know that I’m a flaming homosexual, Boku.”
“Disgusting.”
They laughed at their stupidity. Kuroo leaned back to look at Bokuto. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, but he looked the happiest Kuroo had seen him in months. Without thinking, he reached up and wiped his remaining stray tears away with the pads of his thumbs. Bokuto leaned into the touch, eyes drooping. They didn’t have to say they loved each other. They knew it, and they knew it well.
Though, maybe Kuroo loved Bokuto a little more than he should. It stung a little sometimes, thinking about it, but that was okay. If he could choose to fall in love with anyone, he would still choose Bokuto. Some might view that as masochistic, though he didn’t see it that way. Why give his heart to anyone else when no one could compare? If he had to deal with this dull ache in his chest for the rest of his life, so be it. Better to have Bokuto always barely out of his grasp than to never have him at all.
(But, maybe Bokuto loved him back. Maybe he had given his heart to Kuroo as well. Maybe, if Kuroo looked a little closer, he would see that Bokuto wasn’t out of his grasp, but Kuroo was out of his. Bokuto’s hand was turned towards him, ready to hold, eager, but Kuroo’s hands were stuffed into his pockets, content in staying in his own bubble in fear of contaminating Bokuto’s.)
It was a shameful sight, really. So close, yet so far. However, today, Kuroo’s hand finally came out of his pocket. Perhaps they won’t have to suffer for much longer.