Chapter Text
-vmiller
you liked m.baker’s post
you unliked m.baker’s post
mom
mom
mo
m
??
i liked a post from six months ago oh my god
i want to die that s so embarassign
mom what do i do holy shit
honey, you dumbass
mom how do i fix this
well how do you know him?
i dont…….
????
you liked a random guy’s post from six months ago
uhhhhhyes
the account got recommended to me and i thought he was hot :|
if you dont know him then whats the harm?
you’ll never meet him and hey??
what if he thinks youre flirting ;)
mOM
i was NOT flirting
so you just liked his post for fun?
…….no i just thought that the picture was framed nicely
ugh, lie to yourself all you want
but ive got to go
you’re not helpful :/
m.baker requested to message you
howdy
are you a stalker?
or just bad at flirting?
accept message or block?
accept
oh, definitely a stalker because i was NOT flirting
ohh okAy
because if that was flirting,
yikes
hEY
i am GREAT at flirting
i just wasnt flirting with you
okay then stalker,
what do you want to know?
wdym
if youre stalking me, what are you looking for?
uhhhh
right right right
uhm
your social security number?
yeah, im looking for that
i dont even know mine so good luck,
youll have to hunt down my mom
thanks for the tip
so stalker, whats your name?
oh how the turn tables
whos the stalker now??
still you
i just want to get to know the girl whos gonna kidnap me
apparently she quotes the office
who said i was a girl?
im actually a forty year old man
a forty year old man who quotes the office
damnit
well, whats your name then sir
you’ll have to find that out yourself
well, it should be easy to find because its literally in your bio
shit
uhm, you didnt see that
damnit, there goes my dark mysterious intrigue
sorry to ruin your self imagine, ginny
but you weren’t that mysterious to begin with
okay rude
i have to leave stranger
bye stalker
...for now
the hell? thats so creepy
mom
so so so so so??
did he think you were flirting??
nah, he never followed up,
probably thought i was one of his fan girls or something
he has like 6 THOUSAND followers
aw, sorry hun, im sure hes a dick
and what does this boy do?
porn?
thANKS mom
and yes, im sure this teenage boy makes porn
dont forget to pick austin up from school
shit
grab dinner on your way home
okay, glad to know that you didnt actually forget your son
shut up and grab frozen pizza
kenny’s out of town
so now we can have real food? thank god
hey, we are a family
we have to appreciate each other's values
what values involve tofu??
for every
damn
meal
driving now, i didnt see that
m.baker requested to follow you
accept or decline
m.baker followed you 2 sec ago